A/N
ALL YOU SHIPPERS
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE IT'S TIME
That is all
Enjoy the chapter ^^
Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX
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KANEKI'S P.O.V
I had no idea that Rin's flesh tasted this way; despite being something that other ghouls aren't supposed to feed on for fear of becoming a kakuja, I can't help but find the essence that his blood holds completely addictive. Weaving over my tongue and down my throat in scarlet ribbons, Rin's blood leaves a sweet taste in its wake, bringing me a euphoric rush that I can't say I've felt before.
Open your eyes. A voice in the back of my head echoes, though I desperately shove it down into the corner of my brain that it's trying to emerge from, continuing to rip his flesh away from his bones whilst I gasp down breaths of ecstasy. Look at him. It hisses, making its feeble attempt to halt me, though I can't deny that it slows me down, my desire to consume more of Rin's flesh beginning to ebb a little. Why should I stop? I've been depriving myself of what I need for so long. And, with each new mouthful, I feel power start to swell through me again, as if it's bringing me back to life. But it's wrong. You're hurting him. Open your eyes, dammit!
With a sharp gasp, I instantly break away from Rin's body, gulping down oxygen whilst my pulse jumps into overdrive, my mind still trying to recover itself from the haze of blood-lust that devoured me the second Rin exposed his flesh to me. The second that happened, I lost it. I know I did. Because, when I allow myself to finally look in Rin's direction, all I'm able to see are splatters of crimson everywhere, his blood staining each individual surface that surrounds him. Including myself.
Upon my body, I wear a layer of the ruby liquid that I siphoned from him, the colour clouding over the innocent ivory of my skin to taunt me about the monster I've become. The one that I've tried to suppress for so long. But I was weak; I allowed it to consume me and now Rin's suffering because of it.
"Rin?" I whimper, placing a shaking hand on his uninjured shoulder, the one that he allowed me to feed from pretty much mauled, making it appear as an ugly assortment of ripped flesh and slick blood that refuses to stop flowing. However, he gives me no response, his eyes sealed shut, causing his dark eyelashes to emphasize the paleness of his skin.
Biting down on my lip, I try to shake him awake, my trembling only increasing when he doesn't show me any signs that he's alive. "Rin please wake up!" I beg, tears rolling from my eyes from the fear that's welling in my stomach. He can't be dead; I didn't go that far... Did I? "Wake up, dammit!" I whisper, giving up in my efforts when he refuses to shift in any way at all, though a small groan of what I can instantly determine as pain whines from his throat, a sigh of relief escaping me. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I've torn his shoulder to shreds.
With no other choice but to do so, I gradually get to my feet before I bend over and wrap my arms around him, cradling him against my abdomen, which has fully healed, though my shirt's still torn and has blood coating the fabric. Even still, I press him closer to me, holding him as if he's more fragile than a baby, as I slowly make my way back to my apartment, hoping with all my heart that he'll heal as quickly as possible so that he's not in agony for any longer than he needs to be. Because I can't bear it knowing that I'm the one that caused it.
Whilst I walk, Rin releases a few more whines of pain, a wince constantly possessing his features that just makes my stomach churn with guilt; I haven't cared about someone as much as I do for him in such a long time, and I've betrayed his trust by taking more from him than I needed. I let impulse completely override me and now it's lead to this. Hurting him is the last thing I'd want to do, yet that's exactly what's happened. All because of my damn weakness.
Though it seems to take forever since I have my own thoughts to contend with as I internally beat myself up for Rin's suffering, we eventually make it back to my apartment. And, since my arms are full, I have to rely on my kagune to pry my keys out of my pocket, as well as unlock the door and further push it open to allow us entry. Most people probably don't understand that a kagune's useful for more things than just fighting.
The second I'm able to, I make my way over to my bedroom and gently settle Rin down on the bed, my eyes unable to break away from his shoulder, despite the fact that all of the flesh has already grown back to make it seem as if I never even attacked him in the first place. But not even the lack of scars can convince me that I didn't. I lashed out and he was harmed. It was my fault.
Unable to let myself go near him, I merely press my back against the wall before sliding down it, holing myself up in the corner as I just stare at where his shirt has torn so that his shoulder's become exposed, my heart aching without any kind of definite end. Why should I deserve consolation? Why should I deserve to even let myself close to him so that the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is me? I shouldn't, that much is extremely simple. "I'm sorry, Rin," I whimper before breaking down into tears.
RIN'S P.O.V
Shit I ache! I mean, damn! What the heck happened to me?! All I can remember is escaping from Tsukiyama's place before I collapsed in the alley. With a start, as well as a gasp, I jump out of unconsciousness when I recall exactly what happened before I passed out. Kaneki... He wouldn't stop. No matter how much I begged him to, he refused to stop feasting on my flesh until I couldn't take the strain any more.
However, when I bolt up in a matter of seconds, I find myself extremely confused when my eyes scan around, expecting to see the dank alley that I collapsed in. Instead, I'm nestled in the sheets of Kaneki's bed, their warm embrace comforting me and my aching limbs that complain with each movement. But it's tolerable.
Instantly, my eyes scan around for Kaneki, a mixture of both worry and fear pulsing through my nerves as I seek him out; he's clearly no longer in an unstable frame of mind otherwise there's no way I'd be back here right now. But what if he's still on the edge of sanity, fighting to stay there? I have no idea what to expect.
But that doesn't stop me from instantly running over to him when my eyes locate him in the corner of the room, his head pressed to his knees whilst his entire body shudders with what I can only think of as being sobs, pain twisting through my heart when I see him in this way. He looks so broken.
Crouching down in front of him, I gently place my hand on his shoulder, his eyes flying up to display the element of panic and fear that possesses his silver irises, though it settles a little when he notices that it's me and not some random person coming to attack him. And, though I give him a small smile, he refuses to look me in the eye, his gaze flickering away whilst a crystal bead tumbles down his cheek, catching the moonlight so that it flickers like a flame.
"Don't cry," I say, tilting my head to try and catch his eyes, though he instantly flicks them in the other direction when I get close, causing both irritation and sorrow to gradually grow in the pits of my stomach. "Kaneki," I mutter, though he doesn't dare look at me, his teeth catching on his bottom lip, as if it's difficult for him to completely ignore me.
I know why he's acting this way; he blames himself for what happened. He thinks it's his fault for me passing out, though it wasn't solely down to his actions. I'd already spent the entire night being Tsukiyama's punching-bag, so that alone was enough to drive me to the edge of consciousness. The extra blood loss that occurred when I sacrificed my flesh to heal Kaneki faster was just the hurdle that I couldn't get over, my body shutting itself down to catch up on the sleep it had lost. And even then, I made him eat. He didn't want to, but I tempted him. If anyone's to blame, it's me!
"I'm so sorry, Rin," Kaneki suddenly croaks, still staring at the floor as opposed to at me, the weakness that I detect in his voice making something within me twist. I wish he wouldn't instantly snap to thinking that this was all his fault! Not if it causes him this much pain. With a sigh, I place my hand on his face, forcing his tear-filled eyes to lock with my own.
"You're not to blame. So stop it. Stop acting like you are!" I demand, his silver orbs widening with shock since he clearly didn't expect me to start yelling at him, though I can barely help it. The more he places himself at fault, the more emotional turmoil he's forcing himself to suffer. And it's unnecessary. However, my words don't have the intended effect; despite having his chin gripped between my fingers, he still finds a way to break eye-contact.
"If I'd carried on, I would've killed you. So how the fuck is it not my fault?!" He cries, a few more tears slipping from the corners of his eyes, which he forces to a close as if to try and stop them from falling, though it doesn't work at all. Shaking my head, I increase the grip one of my hands has on his shoulder, giving him a rough shake as if it'll get some sense into him.
"I made you eat my flesh! You didn't want to but I pushed you to do it! I just wanted to end your pain. You had nothing to do with it!" I snap, clearly being taken over by the anger that rages through my blood; why can't he just open his eyes and realize that I'm willing to accept the blame?!
"You made me eat your flesh, yes. But you didn't make me rip your shoulder to shreds! I did that all on my own!" He wails, finally looking me in the eye, his shuddering with fear, as well as tears that form sleek, silver ribbons over his cheeks when he turns his face to catch the moonlight. Knowing that I'm not going to convince him any other way, I pull him into a tight hug, my arms enveloping him whilst I bury my face into his shoulder, his body hesitantly accepting my embrace.
"Alright. It was both of our faults. We're just stupid idiots who don't know how to go one night without some shit happening. Can we at least agree on that?" I murmur, able to feel his heart against my chest as it pounds frantically, a few of his sobs echoing in the air that surrounds us. However, I'm also able to notice him nodding weakly, his grip on me increasing with a small whimper.
"I don't understand, Rin. Why... Why do you insist on making me feel better?" Kaneki whispers from over my shoulder, causing me to pull out so that I can lock my gaze with his, my finger catching a tear that crawls out of his left eye, his kakugan glowing through the darkness. Giving him a crooked smile, I shrug, though I only do so to buy me time to take hold of his chin. And, when I do, I pull him closer to me until our lips connect.
I have to admit, I never really thought that I was... You know... Into guys. But holy shit, there's no way I can deny it when I realize how amazingly perfect this feels, my lips suckling at Kaneki's so softly, it feels like feathers are brushing against my mouth. With my heart pounding against my chest, I curl my arms around Kaneki, closing the distance between us so that the kiss can deepen, a feeling of addiction beginning to swell. I don't want to stop; this is like nothing I've experienced before!
However, there comes a point where Kaneki and I must break apart, though I keep my forehead rested against his whilst our hands intertwine with one another, my pulse drumming heavily in my ears. I can't believe I just kissed him. But, in the same way, it doesn't surprise me at all. I think, ever since that mouth-to-mouth transfer of blood, I've always craved to feel the touch of his lips again.
"Does that answer your question?"