Iris PoV-
Me and mattheo fell asleep after the very long shag sesh we had.
Your worthless iris nobody will want you.
Your a killer Iris and you know it.
KILLER
I wake up from a nightmare it was Jacob and Adrian.
I was drenched in sweat so I decided to go for a bath.
I get off the bed trying not to wake up mattheo but I fail.
"Where you going it's 4am"
"I had a nightmare and I'm sweating so I'm going for a bath"
He just hums and falls back asleep and I walk to the bathroom and strip and fill the bath up I put some bubble bath in it too.
I put my hair up not needing to wash it, so I throw it up into a messy bun and I slide into the bath letting the warmth fill up my body.
I close my eyes and see me killing Adrian but I don't feel guilty because what he did to me and what he's probably did to other girls.
I stay in for a good few hours and I get out as the water was cold now.
I get out and rap myself up in my towel the door was still locked and I watched the bath water go down the drain.
I look at myself in the mirror and I was disgusted with my reflection.
I've gained weight, and I needed to lose it instantly.
I look down at my thighs and I see some stretch marks, I run my fingers over it and a tear slips out, I've never had these before, it's because all I've been doing
Is sitting around and eating, but I couldn't focus on this I need to kill Dumbledore as well.
I hate what my life has came too, I love mattheo and my friends but that's only part of my life I'm living for.
I come back to my senses out of my thoughts and go into the bedroom to get some clothes but I wasn't going to get changed in the bedroom.
Mattheo was awake now he was sat up against the headboard reading.
He sees me walks in and puts the book down and smiles and me, I give him a little one back.
I grab my clothes and start walking back into the bathroom.
"Where you going?" He asks
"In the bathroom to get changed"
"Why you always get changed in here"
"Because I need a toilet as well, and it's just easier" I walk into the bathroom and shut the door locking it.
I didn't want him to see my body what if he doesn't like me like this, what if he finds me disgusting now.
I get changed into something simple and do my make up, throw my hair into a messy bun and I leave.
Mattheo wasn't there anymore so I go down to the common room where everyone was eating breakfast.
I sit down next to mattheo he hugs me tight and kisses my forehead, he then hands me a piece of toast.
"I'm not hungry thank you though" I say with a smile on my face handing it back to him.
TW eating disorder
If you find this topic sensitive skip to where I say end of Tw.
If you struggle with anything, like self harm, eating disorder or anything I mention in this book feel free to message me.
"Your always starving in the morning angel?"
He was right I was but I needed to lose weight I know this is not a healthy way but it's the quickest way I know.
"I'm not today I'll have something later"
He nods thinking nothing of it, I place a pillow over my stomach trying to hide it from everyone.
"We should get going we have classes" pansy says standing up so does everyone else.
Me and mattheo have our first class together, so he holds my hand and we walk there.
We had snape first and we sat next to each other which was good.
We take a seat and as we sit snape calls mattheo up to him.
Mattheo turns to me and gives me a worried look and then sits back down.
"What did he say" I ask out of curiosity
"My father wants Dumbledore sooner"
"How sooner?"
"In two days" he says
I zone out this is too soon what the fuck he wants me to kill him in less than 48hours.
I zone out for the rest of the class no matter who spoke to me mattheo or professor snape.
class ends and snape keeps me and mattheo back.
"He wants it done by tomorrow night" snape says and I look at him wide eyed.
"No two days?" I say
"Today, tomorrow" he says back
That prick I can't wait for him to just drop dead I know he's my boyfriends dad but I don't give a fuck.
"Fucking great" I say waving my hands in the air.
"It must be done by midnight tomorrow, we can lure him up to the tower and you will do it there".
I nod and he dismisses us and he gives us the rest of the day and tomorrow off all our classes even though they ain't the one who has to murder someone again.
We are all in the common room everyone chatting, I was curled up with my knees to my chest fiddling with my fingers thinking about tomorrow.
"You will be ok Iris stop overthinking it" pansy says drawing everyone's attention to me and I just snap.
"Your not the one who has to kill someone, AGAIN. Your not the one who has to kill someone so they stay alive AGAIN" I say while standing up.
"Iris calm down, don't speak to her like that" Draco says standing up, standing up for his little girlfriend.
"No Draco none of you understand what I'm going though" I storm off to my dorm and slam the door shut and locking it.
Mattheo didn't even stand up for me he just sat there.
I start trashing my room smashing or throwing anything I see.
I was about to throw a book when I slip and land in the glass I broke from my mirror.
My arms and back were now bleeding I couldn't move, it hurt to much and I didn't have the energy.
I grab my wand out of my trousers pocket and cast a spell to clean everything up that I had broke and threw.
I then hear a knock at the door so I roll over with all the cuts revealing and mattheo breaks the door down and sees my back.
"Fuck Iris what have you done" he says rushing over to me.
"I fell in glass I broke my mirror and fell backwards on it it all I cleaned it all up now"
He doesn't say anything he helps me up and into the back room, he uses a healing spell I look in the mirror and it look like nothing happened.
I walk back into my room and sit on the bed and mattheo leaning in the dorm frame.
"You can leave now I'm fine" I say with attitude.
He walks closer gripping me by my neck.
"Going to want to watch you tone princess before I fuck that attitude out of you"
I move his hand and I scoff.
"I have to kill someone tomorrow but all you can think about is sex" he sits next to me holding my hand.
"Your not the only one that suffers if you don't do it".
I look at him confused.
"What do you mean"
"If you don't kill Dumbledore tomorrow night my father going to kill me instead"
I had no choice now before it was my life in the line and it was pretty shit anyway so it wasn't that bad if I died but now it's mattheo's life.
"Well I'm doing it so you will live chill out" I say plainly.
I was so mentally drained I never asked for this life.
"We are riding pizza do you guys want anything" Theo says popping his head into my dorm.
"Yeah the usual please mate" mattheo says
"Ok, Iris what do you want?"
"I don't want anything, I had something earlier"
Theo nods and leaves and mattheo looks at me.
"What now" I say
"Why ain't you eating?"
"I am I had something when I stormed up here earlier" he doesn't belle but doesn't say anymore.
Mattheo PoV-
I knew she was lying to me but maybe it's because of the stress of tomorrow.
So I leave it.
It's really late now and me and iris and cuddling in the dorm watching rapunzel
Of course.
It comes toward the end of the film and she's fast asleep.
I turn off the Tv and cuddle in with her more holding her tight.
Tomorrow going to be a very long day for her and very draining.
I'm going to wake up early to make her favourite food because she's going to need it, she needs all the energy she can get for what she needs to do.
A/N
By the way gaining weight is not a bad thing at all, your all perfect the way you are.
Stretch marks are beautiful I have them myself.
If anything in this chapter has triggered or something you suffer with yourself my messages are open xx
1582 words!