a part of me.
I once asked myself, will closing eyes makes my problem hide in the darkness which circles when I blink my eyes close.
Which I stopped asking when I watched Samira's brown orbs welcoming dead. That time, I blinked, slapped myself, pinched my skin, but never once her pale blue face turned the way I was always accustomed to see.
Shock, panic, anxiety reverberated in me, the same way the steel vat thumped loudly on the floor.
The hot orangey lentil soup spreads on the floor, spreading near my feet. I could only eye it, since my lungs ceased, my legs forgot their part to play.
He asked me to not draw attention, and here I created a whole play.
I nibble on my lips, blinking hastily to remove the burning sensation, welcoming some tears. By now, I's sure the series of steps have halted before me, circling near me, gasping at me. Some faces must be glancing with pity, some with sympathy and some with disappointment.
"What're you doing there?" I flinch from the familiar thunderous voice. I refuse to lift my head, and see the dismay everyone having in their eyes. I clench the end of my saree, surfacing a sob.
And, with a pull on my forearm, my cemented feet were snatched from their earlier position, situated in the middle of disaster I created.
"Are you even in your sane mind?" I could feel his ragged breath. But, say silent.
I stay silent because I was dreading of the consequences.
"Are you okay?" Comes his other set of question, but this time soft.
When my ears hear his words, only then I dare to lift my head a little. A soothing feeling of protection covers me, making me seeks more in his spread arms around me.
"How much food is wasted? Here people don't get one time meal, and look at the way it is spread all over the ground."
"How will the privileged one know the importance of something they get it all on silver plates. Here, we've to make our blood sweat and tears to get it."
Someone from the crowd passes the comment, hiking my guilt more. If only I'd not insisted on being a Messiah, nothing like this would've happen.
I dare to lift my head and glance a look with my teary haze, watching how the poor maids were looking at their hard, probably at which they spend their day to make and the small kids watching the food with longing eyes. If anything, it doubled my remorse. I clutch Reyansh arms to stop the crunch of my stomach.
"She is privileged but not ungrateful. Yes, she has the world at her feet, even me, but she doesn't take it for grant. I know my wife, who is she so refrain yourself from acting as if you know her. That makes you just a jealous bitch." There was something in his voice, something unusual which stopped others from speaking any further.
But for me, it's like entering through my cracks of me, and entering deep in my barren land. He snatched my fear of getting humiliated, replacing it with his one shredding petal of love.
"Go to your room, I'll join you."
"Are you okay?" Vedika asks me when we enter a room.
All throughout the way, I had my head hung low, shedding silent tears.
Vedika must have much more to say, but when Kritika squeezes her hand, she stops probing more. They both leave the room after exchanging a look at me. Once, I'm sure the door is closed and the room is silent, I let my muffled sob echo in the room.
When left alone, the obnoxious thought surely over powers you. I feel so pathetic, wanting to curse myself over and over again. How can I be so careless. I hear the door opening, making me fist my hands on the bed cover. I turn my head watching him bolt the door.
In front of other he saved me, but what if he gets angry now.
"Stand up." He orders. I sit upright jumping on my feet, but to only bit my lips when my sour sole touches the ground.
Reyansh stand infront of me towering his body over me. I can feel his sullen countenance making me gulp and seal my lips, from even breaking a sob out.
"What are you doing?" I shriek when I find his hand on my shoulder, taking out the pins from my secured plates of the saree.
"Kiraz," He takes my name dangerously. Standing in this position, I'm aware of that nothing scares me to death, but an angry Reyansh does. As if like, his buffed body with that inked arms and neck is suddenly possess with a devil.
"I appreciate if you keep your mouth sealed." He takes the pin of my blouse, peeling of the saree from me. Only then I notice, the lower end of it my saree is soiled with the orange curry. Even my undercoat sticks to my thigh and my leg. I bring my palm over my chest, covering my cleavage.
"Turn around." I obey him in a second. My heart thumps against my chest. I don't know whether it's the fact that I'm standing in just a blouse and an undercoat, or rather the one I'm afraid of his anger.
My back shivers when his cold finger tips meet with the lace of my blouse. He unties them, unhooking the blouse from back, making my breath turn rigid. I feel his hot breath fume over my neck making my skin shudders.
I could feel him lean more, and his scent invading my nose. His lips lands over my neck, and God I swear my soul left my body.
"Calm down." Comes his muffled words.
Her he burned me without fire, and scratched me without nails, to only whisper to calm my ragging breath.
I had to clutch my blouse against my chest, to only feel the loud thudding of my heart. Something falls on my shoulder, making me clutch it.
"Wear it, I've turned my back." He clarifies.
I don't have to be told a second time, as I'm fast enough to loosen my hands from my blouse letting it fall on the ground accompanied by my saree. Slipping the t-shirt over my black bra, I turn around to face him.
As if sensing me, he turns on his heel. His black eyes rank over me, and halts on my waist. I copy his gaze, worried that something is wrong with the dress. Before I could react anyway, he pulls me by my waist. I clutch his wrist shrieking involuntarily.
However, he ignores me snaking his hand inside the t-shirt. His cold hands make contact with the tie of the undercoat, untying it. All along he keeps quiet, doing whatever the heck he wants. The cloth pools near my feet, leaving me in his black t-shirt which falls on my mid-thigh.
Clutching me by my forearm, he ushers me towards the bathroom.
"I can help myself-", His one glare makes me shut up, and swallow my words. Crouching, before me Reyansh takes the mug throwing water on my leg, and gently wiping the sticky liquid from my feet.
"I'm sorry." I manage to broke the words from my dry throat. He doesn't bate me an eye, engaging himself in cleaning my leg. That, itself is a clear indication that he is pissed off at me. Or I'm just overthinking it. My eyes prick with tears.
"Sit down, here." All his monologues lacked emotion, filled with coldness. He marches out of the room, and I could only watch his broad back going away.
I curtain my hands over my face, exhaling a breath. Does he also take me as some mediocre, who doesn't respect the things she got. I don't take things for granted, it's just a big mistake from my side. But, if only I wouldn't had forced the women, nothing of such sort would've happened.
"Kiraz."
I force my thoughts to a full stop, when I hear him. His eyes took notice of my ragged breathing causing a flicker of worry lace on his face.
"Show me your leg." I spread my bare leg infront of him.
Ever so slowly he the ointment and spreads it carefully on the red softs on my leg. It itches mildly, especially my sole but the saree prevented me from completely getting my legs burned.
All along I watch his expression hardening when is eyes falls on each reddened skin.
"Now, tell me what happened?" I thought the matter wouldn't be raised but looks like it's not.
My throat clogs, barely making me speak a word. I try inhaling a deep a breath, to calm down myself.
"I's helping a maid in carrying the vat, but a lizard came on my feet causing me to loose the grip. I's scared Reyansh, thatswhy. Or else I would never dare to spoil the food. Believe me." By the time I finished I's a crying mess.
Reyansh cups his hand over my jaw, letting his palm fall on my mouth. My body shakes without my control. He scoops closer to me, letting me rest my head on his chest.
"I have not hired them to sit idle, you could've ordered somebody else. The curry was hot, what if something would've happened to you. You could've burnt severely." His grunts, his chest vibrating. I clutch the hem of his kurta.
"I don't know something of such kind would've happened. I didn't do it intentionally." I rasp out.
"I know, my darling. The problem is that I don't know how to comfort people. I's getting angry thinking what if something would've happened to you. That's why, I was being silent, because I don't want to hurt you more than you had." He voiced out.
"So, you're not angry at me." I glance at him.
He fishes his arms against my waist, drawing me more into him. "No." I release my breath.
"Did you have your dinner?" I hear him question. I shake my head.
"Well, I also didn't let have, lets have it together." He suggests.
"Didn't you seat earlier."
"I's going to take a morsel when I heard you scream. For a moment, I felt my heart stopped beating. And, then I's you in the middle of the curry, making me loose my calm. I wonder why I always find you in the middle of chaos."
"Because it finds me. It had always." I match his eyes, which lingers on my lips. Then it falls back on my eyes, watching me with the passionate desire of want. I lean a little anticipating his lips, but nothing comes. Neither I can initiate, as I'm afraid of announcing myself as an amateur. I don't want to take me as an inexperienced one. Though I'm.
He kisses on my forehead, slowly losing his arm from my body.
A knock sounds, announcing our dinner.
Again a morning brash its embrace on our life. But something is different about this morning, might be the opposite direction the breeze is flowing or the way my eyes are roaming on him.
"It doesn't look good to me."
He kisses my forehead dropping his hand away from me and breaking the hug.
A knock sounds, and a maid enters the room with our dinner.
Again, a new morning basks its embrace on our life. Yet something about this morning was different, might be the direction the breezed flowed or the way my eyes searched for only him, when I exist the bathroom.
Dressed in navy blue kurta, he looks like a dark prince. Oops, Hukum.
A giggle left past my lips, but I'm quick enough to muffle it.
"What's so funny that you've to show all of your teeth." He questioned me, still keeping his back turned to me.
"How do you know, it's me." I furrow my eyebrows.
"You never left to search for you. I can feel you even in my sleep, so what difference it will create when I'm awake." His voice brings a twist in my stomach.
When he turns his body, blue never looked this beautiful.
"How's your leg?" he inquires while walking towards me.
I look down and she my swelled feet.
He makes me seat on the bed, examining my sole. "It doesn't look good to me."
"You take rest." He makes me lie on the bed draping the sheet on me.
"My feet are just swollen nothing much." I protest, trying to sit up, but he forces me down.
"Walking will cause pain. The function is in afternoon and everyone has gone there to help. By noon you will be good, if you take rest." Saying so he stands up. If looked in a good way, I don't have to face everyone now and by the time I'll also able to cope up with my embarrassment, and ways to put on a brave face.
"Vedika is also staying if you need her and I'm going out." Informing me he leans down pressing a kiss on my forehead.
I bid a goodbye to him, but he turns around facing me.
"Kiraz, be a good darling and stay put on your bed. If you require anything call the maid, and don't use your feet until and unless its for washroom. If this time you dare to disobey me, and I'm definitely going to chain you to the bed. Mark my word." Even though there was no asperity in his voice, still it didn't fails to pass a shudder down my body.
"Ji Hukum." I muse sarcastically.
He narrows his eyes at me making me copy him. A fading smile captures his lips which gets away when he turns to walk away.
A whole one hour I try to obey him but when my butts try to kill me laying in the same position, I get to know my another trait. That it aches me to follow orders.
"Can I come in Bhabhi?" A meek voice comes from the door. My eyes jump towards the door, watching Chetna peek her head from the ajar door.
I beckon her inside. "How is your health?" She asks peeking at me with her doe eyes.
"I'm fine."
"What brings you here?"
"Oh, I came to visit you." She scratches her neck, shifting on her legs.
"Is there something bothering you?" My face befuddled.
"I thought today you would be going with me to my farm." She says softly. I breath out a chuckle.
"Well, I don't know now." I shrug my shoulders. However, her face damps in gloom. Her eyes cascades down, making my heart prick. I shouldn't have given her hope, when I myself was unsure of it. And, top of it, if she finds me rude and gossips about it in village. Along with my name I would be dragging Reyansh name.
But, what if he knows. Leave it, why will he even bother visiting farm areas.
"How far is it?" I dap my wrist against my forehead as trails of sweat coats on it. I try to keep my step clear on the undulating surface.
"We are nearing." When I'm gasping for water like a dyeing hyena, here Chetna looks like a brewing flower, narrating everything about the houses we faced from.
"Chetna what is your age?" I ask to divert myself from the increasing pain in my feet.
"I'm eighteen."
I gasp at her. She is eighteen and married. But can I point on it. No.
"Here are we." She announces. I lift my head roaming my eyes at the vast stretched landscape. The soil looks drier and arid.
"Here." She passes me a guava. I bit on it savoring on the sweet fruit.
"Bhabhi." I turn my eyes to her. "Uhm, I've something to speak to you."
I rest my back on the rugged surface of the tree, standing on the raised rock as suddenly I feel like my feet would give up. My burning sole making it hard for me to stand upright.
"You saw our farm and its condition. It hardly rains here and for irrigation supply we don't have that much capital. If you talk to Hukum about our condition, I would be so grateful to you. Our farm is not yielding that much because of lack of water. We tried talking to Panchayat but they didn't heard our plea. If.."
Her rest of the words turns mute to me, as realization dawns over me. She brought me here just for her own selfish motive, not because she wanted to. Not because she was excited to befriend with me, and show a slice of her life.
My throat turns drier, and for her wish I break my promise.
"I'll talk to him. Lets go back." I found my voice which I thought had abandoned me. On feeling, a heated gaze I turn my head towards the direction to only gasp in horror. The way my neck turned I'm afraid I might get a whiplash.
A few miles away there stand Reyansh accompanied by few other men. Their backs were turns towards me, but his face facing me. Furthermore, his eyes veiled with vexation. Signal of silent warning breaks through him.
I clumsily move my leg causing it to lip from the rock I's standing causing my back to scratch with the bark of the tree. If my legs were not even a problem my back proved its definition. Tears stick at the lower corner of my eyelid, as the burning wound stink my gut.
Chetna clutches my hand giving stability to my body.
"Are you okay?" her panicked voice tolls in me. I manage to nod.
"Lets go."
I don't dare to turn even a little, cause I know I've digged my own grave.
••~~••
My laptop crashed and I'd a mini heart attack. But possibly I's able to restore the writings.
Hope you like it. Do vote and comment down your views I'm waiting for them. Follow me on Instagram, artof__ellasbook.
Published: 13August, 2023.