[ Cho Seungmin's POV ]
The team wasn't good.
Even D, who was watching the live hacked footage with B, said, "Your teammates suck."
I was communicating with them again at dawn. It was hard to sleep with strangers so close to me. Talking was a better use of my time.
"I know. How's Father?" I asked in Morse code with the flashlight.
I waited for the lights to be seen through the dorm's window.
"Your dad's lost some money. C got beat up for his mistake. We need you back."
C was like a tank. He would be fine getting a few kicks here and there.
"And Mother?" I questioned.
"In Japan. Back for her yakuza dad's funeral. There's a lot of border disputes there. Affecting business here."
"By the way--" this time, B was signaling-- "you want the show to see the clip?"
She was talking about the feed of Moondae hyung drying my hair and giving me advice. Whenever I stare at the cameras, she knows to either turn the connection off or on; the red light signifies that the feed isn't entering the producer's computer. B can still see what goes on without the light.
She can easily ensure some clips aren't delivered to them.
So I coded, "If the time comes. When moon sees me as a friend."
We shortened his name to talk more easily.
"You seem close with moon," D said. The light flickered gibberish afterward.
"I want us to debut together," I signaled back.
"What? Do you like him?" B asked.
"No," I replied. "Just for fun."
There weren't any flashes for a while, and then D spoke up.
"Anyways, you better debut. Your dad is mad."
I took off my glasses and hid it with the flashlight again in my bag.
If I don't debut, it's possible Father will torture me. He's lost a lot of revenue without me backing him. We already agreed that I wouldn't come back home. He could always hire a hitman too.
But I liked having this strange routine of becoming an idol. It was something new in nineteen years. I've never danced or sang this much. I've never had anyone dry my hair and care about me.
I pulled the blanket to my shoulders and closed my eyes.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
"Seungmin. Get it together."
The dance coach sighed loudly as he criticized me.
"You're supposed to be the main dancer of this group. Why are you making more mistakes than that bronze badge kid?"
I bowed my head.
I didn't make any mistakes. He was just nitpicking. Every few seconds, his body would shift closer to the producers behind us. It was obvious he wanted to do good in front of the camera.
"It's easier to read these people than during work," I thought.
After some more harsh words, we were sent back to our practice room. Our leader, Ryu Chungwoo hyungnim was trying to bring everyone together, but a few of the members were refusing and left the room for a break. One laid down on some chairs and covered his face with the lyrics of the song.
I was the only one obediently following the navy-haired man.
"Seungmin, how do you feel about the concept?" he asked with a worried look.
We had a simple concept taking into account that the song is about tigers. We would wear dark mountain shrine outfits. It's a traditional concept.
So our name was Mountain Heros.
"...It's difficult to cover a popular song without high expectations. But I think it's best for this team. The dance looks nice when we do well."
There was a wistful smile on the leader's face as he pat my shoulder. He said something about gathering the other members for another practice, so I waited in the practice room by myself.
"..."
Anger was rising and thinning my patience. I didn't understand why there had to be so much drama just to become someone who sings and dances on stage.
All these older teammates were also immature. It wasn't just because my nightlife hardened my personality. They were all grumpy like kids.
As the platinum-graded participant who focused on dancing, I was in charge of adjusting and teaching the choreography to the others. Ryu Chungwoo helped me with coming up with new ideas and learned well. The others didn't seem to like being taught by someone younger.
I thought about all the times they groaned about practice.
Ah, my anger was rising again. I needed to take my mind off of it. I was the kind of person who needed to let off steam physically. It wouldn't end well if I threw my anger through punches.
I leaned backward and went into a handstand. I tucked my shirt beforehand so my abdomen wouldn't show, and I did a couple of push-ups and fun tricks comfortably. My body was feeling stiff after only doing K-pop choreography. I would have started air boxing, but B had strictly forbidden me from showing any fighting skills.
"You'll be rumored to be a delinquent," she warned.
I rolled onto my back and did some spins.
Dancing was something I liked. It was cool, and when I fight, a lot of my speed and flexibility stems from my interest in dancing.
Father never let me attend dance lessons. I needed to spend all my free time working for him.
But some days, I would secretly enter free b-boy lessons from a dance studio. The teacher was nice enough to make it free and helped everyone individually. He was upset when I didn't want to film dance videos with him. But I didn't want to show my face to the internet in case someone traces my identity as a gangster to my public life, which I protected nicely.
I was a bland high-school student on the surface, and I was going to live that boring life until I died. But this opportunity fell into my lap.
It was a rash decision to join and put my identity at risk. But I thought the risks were worth it, partly because I wanted to see why Park Moondae was trying so hard to debut and partly to go against my Father like a childish rebellion. Partly because I could dance openly here.
I skid to a stop and fell onto my back, staring at the ceiling.
"Cho Seungmin, can you come here for an interview?" one of the writers' asked. I looked at them and stood up.
They led me to a narrow area with a singular chair and an Idol Inc. backdrop. I sat as instructed, and the cameras began rolling.
"How do you feel about the first team match?"
I smiled softly and lied, "It's fun. I like dancing together."
The camerawoman was smiling, but the writer seemed displeased with my positive answer.
"Seungmin, in your screening, you mentioned that you're not familiar with the idol industry. How do you feel about performing VTIC's song?"
I contemplated saying what the writer would want.
"I heard it's a popular song," I decided to say. "I'm worried we won't live up to its hype as trainees, but it's fun to perform anyways."
I ended my answer with another modest smile.
The interview ended like that, and I was sent back to the practice room.
Ryu Chungwoo hyungnim was able to get everyone together. It looked like he was waiting for me.
"Alright, let's go over the chorus one more time," he said, clapping his hands together.
No one looked enthusiastic as I went to the center and the music began to play.
Our progress in practice was stagnant throughout, all the way until the day of the performance.