He wasn't real.
My brain was moving eight million miles a minute, trying to figure out how my dead boyfriend was stood right in front of me.
I must have been dead because I couldn't feel any pain. That's why Colby was here with me.
I was dead.
It wasn't until I was opening opening my eyes to the harsh lights of a hospital room that I realized I was alive.
And Colby wasn't here.
I felt the tears burning my eyes, realizing I would have to go through the loss of Colby all over again.
I looked down to see I was hooked up to a bunch of monitors. I had a sick feeling that I lost this baby too which made everything so much worse.
I lost everything.
"Good morning, Briana." A nurse said as she came into the room. I frowned and looked up at her, feeling myself break once again.
"Oh. Oh, it's okay sweetie." The woman said as I covered my face.
"Is he dead?" I cried out as she came over and handed me a tissue. "Who?" She asked and started getting my vitals.
I wanted to respond but couldn't get passed the sobs.
"How about I get the doctor in here and we can talk about your baby." She said as I nodded.
"Do you want your husband to be in here with you?" She asked as my hands shook. "My husband?" I asked as she nodded.
"Yeah, the guy who brought you in." She said as my heart sped up.
Was Colby actually alive?
"Can you get him?" I whispered. "Yeah, of course. Just try to relax." She said then went to leave the room.
I wiped my eyes and put my hand on my belly. I was so worried about the baby that I was feeling sick.
It didn't seem like Pops was able to do too much damage, but any damage could be fatal.
After what felt like forever, the nurse was coming back with Colby and a doctor.
I felt the tears immediately form as Colby came into the room.
It was so surreal that he was actually here.
"I'm here, sweetheart." He said quietly and walked over to my side, taking my hand.
I stared at him in disbelief, still trying to figure out if I was dead, dreaming, or just fucking insane.
I killed him. How could he be standing here holding my hand.
"Is the baby okay?" Colby asked and looked up at the doctor.
"The baby has been put through a lot of stress but we've stabilized its vitals." The doctor said as my heart ached.
"Briana, your injuries were extensive as well, but have been stitched up." He said as my eyes widened.
"I don't feel any pain." I whispered then looked up at Colby.
"The narcotics we used are safe for your baby. Don't worry about that." The doctor said as I shook my head.
"I-I'm an addict." I trembled as Colby smoothed my hair back. "Oh my.." The doctor said as Colby shook his head.
"You're gonna be okay. We'll get you through it, just don't give her any more." He explained then looked up at the doctor.
"I apologize." The doctor said as I shook my head, keeping my eyes on Colby.
I couldn't look away from him no matter how hard I tried.
He wasn't dead and I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
"I do want to have you on bed rest for a month at least since the baby was put under so much stress. I wouldn't want you go into labor this early on in the pregnancy." He explained as Colby listen intently then looked at me.
His eyes softened as he gently rubbed his thumb along my hand, trying to keep me calm.
"You should schedule an appointment with your OB as soon as possible just so they can check things out." The doctor said as I nodded and finally broke my gaze from Colby.
"Okay." I whispered as the doctor smiled sympathetically at me. "Do you have any questions?" He asked as I looked up Colby.
"Are you hurt?" I asked as he sighed. "No, I got my leg patched up." He said then looked up at the doctor.
"Is she stable enough to go home?" Colby asked as the doctor nodded. "Laura here is gonna fill out some paperwork for us, then you should be good to go." He said and gestured to the nurse.
"Since there's no pain medication that I can prescribe, here's some resources to help cope with the pain." He said and wrote something down.
"Thanks." Colby said and took the paper. "You should be out of here in the next thirty minutes. Let us know if you need anything." The doctor said then walked out of the room.
"I'm gonna get your discharge papers together, then I'll be back." Laura said then left the room.
As soon as she was gone I looked up at Colby. "Are you real?" I asked quietly as he grinned. "Very real, sweetheart." He said then leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"H-how?" I asked as he sighed. "I'll explain when I know it's safe." He explained as my eyes watered.
"You're not real." I whimpered as he shook his heads. "I'm here, darling. I'm really here." He said as wiped my tears.
I felt insane knowing that I watched Colby die right in front of me, only for him to be standing in front of me right now.
"How are we gonna explain this to the kids?" I asked as he chuckled.
"Let me handle that. No more stress for you or the baby." He said as I frowned. "I wish I told you in a better way." I said and put my hand on my belly.
"The circumstances weren't exactly the best." He said then put his hand over mine. "Are you okay with it?" I asked as he leaned down and kissed my head.
"I am more than okay with it, Jules. It's just dangerous." He said as I nodded. "I'm terrified." I said as he shook his head.
"Nobody is gonna touch you or that baby." He assured as the nurse came into the room.
"Alright, here is your paperwork. Just sign that and we can get you out of here." Laura said as she came into the room with a wheelchair.
I took the paper from her then signed as Colby took the wheelchair from Laura.
"I'll lead you guys out." She said as I handed her the papers. "Let's get you home." Colby said quietly then helped me get out of bed.
Since I was on pain pills I couldn't feel anything, but the feeling of knowing that I was on them made me feel sick.
Part of me was still confused as to how Colby was here, pushing me down the hallway in a wheelchair.
The mental battle of knowing I mourned the loss of him when he was really alive was going to be difficult.
I didn't know if I would ever grasp it.
"I'm gonna pull the car up to the curb." Colby said as we walked towards the front door of the hospital.
"Don't leave me." I said quietly and looked up at him. "I'll be just a minute, sweetheart." He said then kissed my head.
"Will you sit with her for just a second?" He asked Laura. "Yeah, sure." She said then looked at me as Colby went to get the car.
"Im sure it was pretty scary to get jumped, especially when pregnant." She said as I nodded. "Really scary." I said quietly and put my hand on my belly.
It was so hard knowing I could have lost this baby due to the stress I was enduring.
If Colby didn't step in, I would have lost another child.
Pops would have cut this baby out and I would be dead from the blood loss.
"Alright, sweetheart. Ready?" Colby asked as he came back inside. "Yeah." I said quietly. "Okay, thanks so much for your help." He said to Laura then took the wheelchair from her.
"Any time. I hope you feel better soon." Laura said and waved as Colby wheeled me to the car.
When we got to the car, Colby opened the door and helped me up.
"Colby?" I whispered, causing him to look at me. "Yes, love?" He asked as my eyes watered.
"I love you." I whispered as he cupped my cheek with his hand. "I love you, too. More than you'll ever know." He said then pulled me in for a kiss.
As soon as his lips were on mine I melted into him. It felt like the world was melting around us, nothing else mattering.
If you told me just yesterday that I would be kissing Colby right now I would have thought you were crazy.
It was just so crazy how quickly life changed.
As much as I loved having Colby back and how badly I wanted to fall back into a normal life with him there was fear looming around us.
Knowing that we were in the crime world with my siblings hiding out at the office and a baby in my belly was terrifying.
I had a feeling things were going to get worse before they got better.