Max: *Screams*
Luffy: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Zoro: Should we do something?
Nami: No, I want to see who wins.
Max: *clears throat* here we go
Max: *demonic scream*
Luffy, Zoro and Nami: .......
Max: I FUCKING WON BITCHES!!
*Max is cooking*
Luffy: Any chance that's for me?
Max: It's for Nami. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.
Zoro: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
Max and Zoro: *beat the shit out of each other pt 2*
Max: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Luffy: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Zoro: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Nami: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
Max: .......
Max: I'll order them right now. Ur welcome and pay me hoes
The trio: *high five each other*
Max: You know those things will kill you, right?
Luffy, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Zoro, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
Nami: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
Max: *facepalms* Idiots!!
Max: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Luffy: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Zoro: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
Nami: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Max: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands. *Hugs a cake box*
[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]
Max: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake
Luffy: You're in a prison cell :)
Zoro: You did great. Well, I got a 10-
Luffy: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3
Nami: I got a 1!
Luffy: You're in... a cube-shaped place.
Max: Yo is Nami sleeping or dead?
Luffy: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Zoro: Yeah, so did I.
Nami: Okay first of all, fuck you-
Max: *holds a pace sign* Love you!( ╹▽╹ )
Max: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Luffy: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Zoro: I personally was created in a lab.
Nami: I just straight up spawned lol.
Max: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Luffy: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Max: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING ZORO WITH ME
Nami, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.
Max: And I'm taking the dogs with me!!
Luffy and Max: *made forts and throws pillows at each other*
Max: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Zoro: Plane tickets?
Luffy: Concert tickets?
Nami: Prostitution?
Max, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
Max, looks at Nami: what the fuck!?
Max: I just ended a four year relationship.
Zoro: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Max: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*Luffy and Nami fighting from across the room*
Max, holding a camera: Now my ship is now completed :3
Max: Zoro isn't answering their phone
Luffy: I'll call
Max: Nami and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Zoro: Hello?
Max: *throws the phone across the room in anger* Piece of shit!! *walks away*
Max: Wake me up...
Zoro: Before you go go!
Luffy: When September ends...
Nami: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-
Max, Zoro, and Luffy are sitting on a bench
Nami: Why do you guys look so sad?
Max: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Nami sits down*
Zoro: The bench is freshly painted.