Guys, with due respect can you please vote and comment. It's so saddening to see that even after putting efforts some people are adamant to not recognise the effort. They just read and leave.
Unspoken pains
I have always wanted to know, what forces us to open our eyes, every time we blink our eyelids.
We take our life as some grim path, yet we open our eyes every morning, welcome the old sun bringing a new day, to walk those thorny paths.
Will the answer come as hope or beauty our eyes just want to stare and behold. What's it?
Well, with passing time, I'd figured it out.
It's remembrance and faith, for me. If my older times where beautiful enough to create good views, then my present can also be. It can also be good to create good memories for me in the future.
The temperate air of day, hits my face, introducing me to a climate transition. I blink several times, looking at the scanty greened land, which is stretched out vastly, ending at where land contracts enough to create mountains.
I never knew, the Rathore mansion falls in the mountain. But, how I will when I never looked at it as home. Just as an outsider, just appreciating its design and falling in awe for its architectural designs. Never, from the view of those wall, protecting the family from every uncertainty, which watched them at their every highs and lows, accepted them.
"What are you thinking?" Reyansh lifts his head, glances at me.
I stare at his relaxed posture, with subtle hint of stiffness. The successive travel, must've taken toil on his muscles.
"Just looking at the passing views." I speak.
"Close the window, you are not habituated to this climate." He replies, then going back on working on his iPad.
The tinted glass slides up, locking our breath. I scroll through my phone, diverting my thoughts, from the continuous crunching in the pit of my stomach. I put my back on the seat, taking a deep breath. I am nervous. Screw that, I am scared, and fretting about the family reaction towards me.
I hope that my little attempt of escapade from my own marriage is hidden. I don't want to be judge for my impulsive nature, especially by Parvati Maa.
The man sitting beside me, sighs loudly. I look at him, questioning him a look. He stares at me, staring blankly.
"Is something bothering you?" He questions, straight forwardly.
How, did he know?
"Do any one knows that, I's planning to run before marriage?" I inquired, fidgeting with my phone.
For a moment, it felt like he frozen his eyes into immobility. I avert my eyes, when I couldn't match it with his icy gaze.
"You're worrying unnecessarily. Except her, nobody knows." Reyansh states, then interlocking our hand, he keeps it on his lap. After, fifteen minute drive we touch the premise of Rathore, which crosses the forest. Why would someone build their house in such a secluded area, which is most over covered by tress.
"Why the house falls in the middle of a forest?" I ask when I couldn't handle the curiosity.
He stares down at me, and starting expatiate, "My Grandfather, wanted to build his house away from the city's pollution, noise and the humid summers. Somewhere in peace, and solitude of nature. So, he built it near the forest. Every ten years we renovate the mansion, and every year we plant new trees on this forested land. We also take care of this forest, my forefathers where a nature lover and Gujrat being a dry land, has idealized us to take utmost care of it." I jote down his words.
I don't know but for some reasons it feels like he is contemplating his words carefully. Nevertheless, I nod at. The car halts, bring us out of our traces. My hold on his hand tightens. Reyansh kisses my crown, ushering me out.
I get out of the car, watching the giant entrance of the house, decorated with marigold flowers. From the pillars to the door, everything is covered brightly, perfectly decorated.
"Welcome my lady." Reyansh keeps his hand on the small of my back, beckoning me closer to his side. His arms brushing against my waist. I stare at the mansion, where I thought would never once again step my feet, but here I'm, the beautiful walls adored fascinatingly, waiting for me.
We walk towards the entrance, where the other family member stands patiently, to welcome me. Each face, marred with oozing welcoming.
"You made us wait so much?" Badi dadi, says rotating the plate infront of us. We bend down to touch her feet, as she pats our head, blessing us.
We settle in the living room, as everyone asks me about my stay in my hometown. I fill them with everything, whilst giving the sweets I brought. Reyansh excuses us, followed by the male member, leaving us female to chat among us. All throughout the conversation, Parvati Maa stays quiet, only replying in small sentences. I feel as if she is ignoring me. I met her eyes, but she is quick enough to divert her eyes. She is definitely ignoring me.
"Kiraz, you know, Vedant's fiancée was here. She so badly wanted to meet you, but you were not here." Kritika interjects, drawing my attention towards her. I turn my head, looking at her.
Vedika was engaged. Even so, Vedant has a fiancée? I hardly know anything about this family, and every other second, I found myself with a new found information, hard to swallow. I always took Vedant as a charming player boy type, but he is already betrothed is hard to believe.
"Vedant is engaged?" I came out befuddled.
This time, Vedika joins, bobbing her head. "He engaged his college sweetheart. She's like so excited to meet you. She so wanted to know who the great Reyansh Rathore married and who's the girl to keep up with his barbaric nature." She utters dramatically.
I chuckle at her exaggeration. When I'm am somber enough, I ask her, "Well, she can meet me now."
Kritika looks at me, shaking her head,"She resides out of the country. And only comes when her semester ends." Ohh, I nod my head in understanding.
"We can video chat." I offer, shrugging my shoulder.
Before both the girls could utter, Reyansh call out for me. I get up excusing from them, momentarily ignoring their mischievous eyes and teasing smile.
I make my way, towards our room, ascending the stairs but halt. I pressurize my thinking capability, to remember.
"Where's his room?" I mumble, within myself, horrified that I don't even remember any trail which would take me to his room.
"Take this corridor, and then turn left. The room in the middle is his." I jump on my heels, clutching my hands infront of my chest, I can feel the loud thumping of my heart.
I swirl around, facing the middle age lady, dressed elegantly like always. She turns around, to walk away. But I stop her, uttering,"Maa are you angry?"
She keeps silence, clearing my doubt. I move closer, trying to take her hands, however she turns the very exact moment, making me retreat my hands back. I let my hand fall on either of my sides.
"I hope." She stops, inwardly, directing her eyes on me, keeping her comparative expression. "I hope, now you're settle with all your grudges, that running away will not be in your top list, when any problem arises between your relation." She pins me down with her hard gaze.
I cast my eyelids down, gulping the lump of shame.
"I'm sorry. My mind wasn't in right state. I am so sorry." I plead.
I watch her gaze shifting, and a layer of softness empowering her. She opens her mouth, to only close it.
"And for what exactly are you saying sorry for." A solemn voice, filled with heaviness interrupts us. We both look at Reyansh, his gait hard alike his face. I observe his stern looks, depicting a vengeful expression.
Parvati Maa, stands still, her blank eyes, moving on him. The subtle softness a few moments ago, vanishes from her orbs.
"You're calling her out for her mistake. What about your abandonment when I needed you. What about your forsaken behaviors. Nobody called you out for it?"
Now, I'm not the topic. Or it's never me. It about the pain of past, which never truly came into eyes.
"Reyansh, enough. She is your mother. You can't disregard her like that." Dad, corrects him, standing beside his wife. When did he came? Was the situation so intense, that I didn't even notice another's presence.
Reyansh shakes his head in disdain. "Then tell, her to stay away from my wife." He utters venomously.
I grip his wrist, stopping him, from saying anything he would regret later. But, his midnight cold eyes bespoke, something else. That, he's not the one to every regret, but the one to make other regret.
Reyansh grabs my hand, turning me around. While walking with him, I turn my head, and I wish I have not. I am sure, her broken face, and glossy eyes are going to haunt my conscience.
We enter the room, and only then his grip looses from my wrist. I massage the area subconsciously, even though it was not hurting. It just remembering his possessive hold, how he tightened it, afraid that he will loose me. Something about the hold, was depicting depth of strangeness.
"Did I hurt you?" Reyansh takes my wrist, caressing the area.
I shake my head, in denial. "You shouldn't have talked to her like that. She is your mother and doesn't deserve such treatment." I say discreetly.
He lifts his head, squinting his eyes at me. He is angry. I wrap my hands on his torso, keeping my head on his chest. He lets out a grunt, nuzzling his head in the crook of my neck. A hug can be a good medicine to our soul.
"Wish, she wouldn't have known it. He would've known it. Now, the roots have traveled deep in my heart, it has griped me. If the roots let go of their grip, I will also loose myself." His voice filled with pain, pure dejection, heavying in the room.
"Let it go Reyansh." I could only say this.
He shakes his head, breaking the hug, his eyes softening. His grip on my hands loose.
"I love this me. Selfish, deadly, nasty, and thunderous. I'm not ready to search myself, over again. The fight will cost a lot."
"What'll it cost?" I ask.
"You." He answers, so softly, like a petal of a flower, falling on the ground.
How? Wish I could ask him, but he walks away towards the bathroom, locking himself in.
It's only at night, I saw him again. He looks weary, yet his shoulder stretched out straight, his gait filled with power and confidence. Am I not observing him too much. Together, we descend down, joining everyone at the dining table. A house filled with people is so much good.
I wonder what my family would be doing. Even though we hardly had dinner together, except of few occasions, but the void of someone presence scream itself more vibrantly. It twitches your eyes, and ears, when never ending silence engulfs the room.
I sit beside Reyansh, as he occupies the head chair. Serving myself a curry and bread, I greedily dive myself in the Gujrati delicacies, but soon cough, when the species becomes heavy for my taste bud. Embarrassment and me, both are a good mate from past. I gulp the water, parching my hot throat.
"Ereh, Kiraz for you, this curry has been made." Sunita Chachi passes another bowl towards me.
"You still haven't gotten adapted to the spices." Badi Dadi chides, shaking her head. I take a sip of water, to avoid answering her. Spicy food is, okay? But extra enough, to make my butt stick on the toilet seat, the whole morning, is not okay for me.
I take the sip of the curry, nodding when its suites my taste. Carrot? I toss it in the curry as if it would vanish if I do so.
"Vedika's in-law have invited us. They have started a new mill in our village, and for its inauguration, they are calling us." Bade Dadu speaks. I lift my head, watching him, and other also doing the same, expect Reyansh. An exception.
"A family trip!" Both Vedika and Vedant exclaims out together in delight.
Listening to the plan, my inside thrills with excitement. I turn my head, looking at Reyansh who nonchalantly, munches the boiled carrot.
I scoop the carrot from my bowl, keeping in his plate. He raises his brow at me in questioning, but I just pass him a sheepish smile. He just shakes his head, continuing his dinner.
"When are we going?" I hear Vedansh voice. I nibble on my lips, when another carrot floats out from the curry.
"Tomorrow, in the evening. The trip will be of two days." Dadu replies back briefly.
I always wanted visit a village. But leaving in a city, always dejected my desire.
I scoop another carrot, and raise the spoon to take in Reyansh plate.
"I and Kiraz are not going." The man states.
All the head turns towards us. My carrot occupied spoon floating above his plate, just in a need of landing.
However, I halt.
••~~••
Uff, Their relation.
Hope you like the chapter. I think roughly, twenty or twenty-five chapters are left.
Do vote and comment. It makes my effort fruitful.
Published: 25July, 2023.