The days soon turned into months. I had accepted my new life was awful and contained torture sessions at least three times a week if I didn't obey. Taking children had become what Janson would call 'normal', and the feeling of the torture wasn't unfamiliar anymore either, of course.
Two times I had to go through torture because I failed to kill the parents. With one of them, I just couldn't get it over my heart.
It was about two weeks ago, in another abounded town. Except for the house I had to visit, which obviously wasn't abounded. The smell of cookies hung in the air, a warm fire lit up the house, and voices talked loud enough to hear from outside.
When I got in there, I was welcomed happily by a chubby, dark-skinned woman. She asked me if I were okay and if I needed help. Her husband offered me food and even a bed to sleep in, but before I could reply Janson had already noticed it was taking too long, so he killed them all.
With another house, I got scared to kill and almost believed the man that opened the door was actually a criminal. He was so strong I wondered how his muscles didn't rip through his shirt. A few small tattoos were made on his body and his face wasn't the kindest, though he was quite gentle with me.
The guards ran in again, killing the man with a bullet through his head and his wife, who must've been a businesswoman.
And while all that happened, my heart turned... well, cold. Any other emotions than anger and fear were harder for me to create. Sometimes when Mary helped me I couldn't help to give her the tiniest smile, but that was all she would get from me.
I knew I desperately needed some friends to save me, otherwise, I would never make it through. The torture sessions were draining me, forcing doctors to drag me out of bed or make me talk.
Emotionless tears had dropped from my eyes multiple times and I didn't know from what. The sadness of losing my parents ebbed away from all the other events happening, and I simply just got over it, knowing they wouldn't come back to life and save me. I was on myself now, though I hoped so badly I could finally communicate with some kids sometime.
So, about half a year later, Mary visited me again. I lay in my bed, staring at the boring ceiling and dreaming about nothing. She sat down next to me and forced me to get up.
"Honey..." Mary started. Her smile was soft and her eyes stood warm. It sent a wave of comfort over me, but not enough to make me any happier. "It's over." She announced quite quiet compared to her usual tone. "It's all over."
My face twitched, eyebrows furrowing. "Over?"
"The killing... visiting houses." She summarized. "You won't have to do that anymore, Lenora. There's no more drawing monsters, training with your bow... it's over."
I stared straight forward, my blank face hiding how confused yet excited I was. It was over. It was finally over! "What now?"
"You get to take classes with the other kids, have meals with them in the cafeteria, and talk all you want." Mary was almost whispering by now as she gently stroked my arm.
I blinked a few times, trying to get the thoughts through my head. "Janson said the girls and boys would be apart from each other except for one girl and one boy."
"We figured out you would fit with the boys the most."
"I'm not a transgender if that's what you think." I snapped, feeling anger boil in me for no reason. "Is it because of the skirt incident?"
"No." Mary laughed. "According to the tests we did, your personality, and way of communicating... we know you fit better with the boys. The chance is big you'll get in lots of fights and arguments with the girls."
"Me and my sister never argued," I whispered so quietly for only me to hear, then I raised my voice again. "Why do I have to stay with boys, Mary?"
"Don't be so insecure, my lady!" She gave me a push on the shoulder. "You're seven years old now, learning how to take care of yourself. Those boys are all scared of everything and pee in their pants when they see one thing."
I exhaled. "When do I go there?"
"Right now?" Mary suggested, still smiling. "Let's get you ready."
"No unicorn skirts," I warned. Slowly I got up from the bed, feeling a small spark of energy form in me.
"What about this?" Mary held up a light brown skirt with a long-sleeved, black top, which had some decorations on it.
I stared at it for a while. "If that makes me pull boys."
Mary laughed loudly at my comment. "Do you want to take a shower first?"
I nodded and followed Mary through the hallways. There was a bathroom with one single shower, also the only bathroom I had ever seen in the building, but I had only been in one part of it. It was clean in the bathroom and looked the exact same as any normal one.
Mary helped me put the shower on, undress, and wash my hair like a real mom while I was emotionless, but maybe a little less than before. Meeting other kids had been my dream for so long.
Once I got out of the shower, Mary brushed my black hair. "Your hair is growing pretty long, Lady," Mary said. She was right, it almost came to my waist. "Want it loose? A braid?"
"Loose is fine, Mary," I told her quietly. One thing I did learn was to be nice to Mary. She was one of the only ones nice to me, so I forced myself to be nice to her.
"Alright." Mary smiled and made me look in the mirror. "You look beautiful, Sweetie. You really do."
I twirled around, inspecting myself. I noticed my body had gotten thinner, I had new scars, and a small cut on my cheek.
"Are you pleased with how you look?" Mary sweetly questioned.
"I think so," I muttered. Then the nervousness started to form in me. I was never good at making friends! Even before they took me! I always hurt the kid on accident by making comments or being rude.
"It'll be all right." She took my hand and lead me to the hallway.
Soon we arrived in the cafeteria. Dozens of tables were placed, along with lots of boys sitting or running around. Two ladies stood behind a bar to give food to kids with trays. Mary rushed away to get me a tray too as I just stood there with wide eyes. No one seemed to bother me, luckily.
It didn't take long for Mary to push a plate with bread, an apple, and some soup into my hands.
"You got this, Lenora. Now go sit somewhere!" She smiled, giving me a squeeze on the cheek before leaving.
Still nervous, I sat down at a table all alone and started eating in silence. It was new and I definitely had to get used to it, but was happy to have some company.
"Hey." A voice suddenly said. I flinched and almost threw my tray at the boy. Without permission, he sat down in front of me.
"Mind if I sit?" He eventually asked once he got comfortable.
I looked at the boy. He was blonde, with messy hair. He seemed taller than me, with a slim body, but his face was like a baby.
"How old are you?"
"Seven." He replied.
"You look three." I blurted out.
And that's why I couldn't make friends easily.
"I get that a lot." He laughed, making his cute nose scrunch. "How old are you?"
"Seven."
The blonde then held out his hand. "I'm Newt."
Hesitantly I shook it, though I was screaming on the inside. Did I just make a friend? "Lenora."
"My friend over there thinks you're cute." Newt made a head movement toward a direction I didn't understand.
I scoffed, not knowing who he was talking about. "He said that?"
"In his language, yes."
"His language?"
"Said you looked like a homeless kid with a teddy bear," Newt explained. "For him that's cute."
"I think that means he thinks I look homeless, not cute." I exhaled.
"Do you want to come sit with us? You indeed look quite homeless like this."
Just then I noticed Newt's accent was different than anyone else's. He was British, and in my opinion that sounded quite cute for a seven-year-old boy.
"Aren't we all?" I snapped.
"Sassy, I see." Newt laughed. "Come on!" He took my arm and pulled me with him. Confused I just followed until we arrived at a table with three other boys.
An Asian with perfectly styled hair, a chubby, dark-skinned boy that looked very kind, and a sterner-looking, also dark-skinned boy. I didn't give myself too much time to inspect them, since I didn't want to stare.
"This is Minho, Frypan, and Alby." Newt pointed at them all. "Guys this is Lenora, Lenora this is guys- wait, I- I mean... Minho, Frypan, and Alby."
"Good way of introducing, Newt." The Asian, Minho, mumbled. "Hello, girl with the teddy bear."
"I don't have a teddy bear." I snapped back. Everyone was silent for a few seconds.
"Well, are you gonna sit?" Frypan then wondered.
I sat down far away from them all. "Is your name really Frypan?"
"It was Siggy, but we prefer Frypan because I like baking." He summarized quickly. "Lenora, right?"
"Yeah."
"Can we do a little... you know this thing we used to do when first meeting someone? Summarize yourself?" Newt suggested.
"Childish." Minho spat out.
"You are a child," Alby commented. "But okay, fine. I'm Alby, eight years old, so I'm the oldest. I like to eat."
"Frypan, call me Fry. Seven, I like to bake."
"Newt, seven, I like to... say bloody and yell at Minho."
That left us chuckling.
"Minho, seven, running." The kid grumbled.
They all turned to me now. I felt my cheeks heat up. "Uhh... Lenora, seven years old, and I like to... to... uh.."
"There's nothing you like to do?" Frypan laughed.
I don't know why I didn't tell them about my bow. Maybe I was scared it gave them memories? And they would remember me killing their parents?
"I like to use a bow and arrows." I peeped quietly, looking down.
"Really?" Minho raised his eyebrows. "Cool."
"If Minho says it's cool, it really is cool," Frypan stated. "It's cool!"
I laughed nervously and took some bites of my food again.
"So why are you the only girl here?"
I shrugged. "They said it fit me better."
"Well, welcome to our club." Frypan smiled kindly. "Don't worry, you'll see us a lot more often.. especially at night."
"Not in a dirty way!" Newt added fast.
"We hang out in a cleaning room," Alby confirmed, also adding up to Newt's statement.