Author's note:
Welp, little delay in writing this chapter. I was running from my dog and felt my foot kick the top of a stair step. Looked down and saw a lot of blood. Fun times.
I've noticed I know a lot of random RvB trivia. Mainly with references, tiny little jokes. It's fun writing these chapters because it helps me remember. My RvB knowledge has expanded so far and wide from writing these fics.
Also yes, Foul not Fowl. I had to update the chapter a few times because it wouldn't update.
Cover Art: Cruz7808
Chapter 22- Mini-series: Where There's a Will, There's a Wall
"Well let's just see the title." Ruby suggested.
" Mini-series: Where There's a Will, There's a Wall" appeared on the screen.
Blake hummed, "Can't predict anything from that."
"Maybe it's about the wall behind red base?" Jaune suggested.
"There's a wall there?" Ruby asked.
Jaune nodded, "Yeah, if this is another Blood Gulch mini-series you'll see it."
Ren stared at the title, "That statement, it's interesting."
"What do you think it means, it's kind of demotivational." Jaune commented.
"I think it means that will power isn't enough." Ren explained.
Jaune sagged, "Yeah, that lesson has been learned."
"Will power is enough, if you have the will to do something. With enough blood, sweat, and tears you can do it." Yang shrugged. "If there's a wall, gotta break through it." Yang cocked her right gauntlet.
Nora nodded, "Yeah walls are meant to be broken!" Jaune chuckled at Nora who was making a swinging motion holding an imaginary Magnhild.
" Episode One" appeared on the screen with the theme.
The scene opened to show Simmons running up to Grif in Blood Gulch.
"Yes!" Nora cheered.
"Oh, so they're both Blood Gulch skits." Jaune hummed.
Ruby nodded, looking around at the paused screen. "Oh I see the wall, it's the same.. material?" She tested, unsure. "That the excavator and drill were made out of."
"And the base." Ren added.
Jaune frowned, "Wait, if there's a wall there.. how did they drive to the city?"
Weiss pursed her lips, "Another plot hole?"
"Doesn't really matter if it is one, I mean. It's a mini-series in a memory unit." Yang pointed out.
Blake chuckled, "There are far more glaring plot holes in the Recovery One and Out of Mind mini-series."
Nora gasped, "Oh! And they could have just driven into the ocean. So not a plot hole."
Jaune and Ruby laughed, Yang snickered. "Neptune would not appreciate a road trip with them."
Simmons: "Hey Grif, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Grif: "Not now, Simmons. I'm right in the middle of something."
"I'm sure." Blake chuckled.
Simmons: "Oh yeah? What are you doing?"
Grif: "Umm... standing."
"That's actually something for Grif." Yang quipped.
Weiss scoffed "Breathing is probably an effort for him."
Yang laughed, "That's even better!"
"I wasn't joking."
Simmons: "I see. How time consuming."
Grif: "You know, it really is, you think Command would send us a couple of lawn-chairs or something."
Simmons: "I want to talk to you about Sarge. Don't you think he's been acting a little odd lately?"
"That's just normal Sarge behavior." Nora waved it off.
"He's eccentric, crazy, uncompromising, and has a complete disconnect from reality." Weiss listed off.
Nora giggled and nodded.
Grif: "Uhh, he's been barking orders and spying on the Blues. What's so weird about that?"
"As always that should be normal but... the orders he barks are not normal and spying on the blues to him likely means building some crazy contraption to spy with instead of simply walking across the canyon with a sniper." Blake sighed.
"Disappointed that this isn't a freelancer mini-series?" Yang asked.
"A little." Blake shrugged, "But then again, this is the Freelancer Saga. There will be plenty of time to focus on them."
"If they find a way to top that badass fight on top of moving cars, I won't be surprised." Yang grinned, "They're amazing, I hope they get a lot of focus."
Simmons: "Well, first of all, he's been spying in the wrong direction for three weeks."
Camera turns to Sarge on top of the base staring at the wall and grunting.
Nora burst out laughing, along with the others who gave light chuckles.
"Just like Caboose watching over the wrong base." Pyrrha giggled.
Jaune nodded, "I remember that."
"Me too! It's cool how they can do visual jokes when all they have is a character and a controller." Ruby commented. "..well they do have the animation."
"It looks like they're going to keep animation and machinima separate." Ren pointed out.
"I'm glad they haven't completely moved on to animation." Jaune admitted.
"Again I don't think they ever will." Weiss chimed in. "It's their medium and sure they've added elements from other mediums but I doubt anyone could call this show animated."
"Could it technically be live action?" Jaune asked.
"Closer to puppeteering than live action." Blake pointed out.
Ruby hummed, "It would be so cool if someone made a show out of the games we play." She said looking at Yang.
"Yeah I wonder how they would do it with our fighting games." Yang rubbed her chin.
"Dub over the character introductions?" Ruby suggested.
Yang snapped her fingers and nodded.
Grif: "Wait, really?"
Simmons: "Yes. He didn't even notice that the Blues got a shipment this morning."
"Ohh these are set before season nine." Ruby nodded.
"I wonder if this will show how Sheila broke." Yang hummed.
"She broke?" Weiss asked.
Yang shrugged, "Well Tex had to fix her up remember?"
"Wait this can't be set before season nine started, remember they weren't themselves." Jaune reminded.
Ruby frowned, "Oh yeah, then what could they have gotten?"
"Caboose's bullet dehydrator?" Pyrrha suggested.
Ruby, Pyrrha, and Jaune laughed.
Grif: "I don't believe it."
Simmons: "I know, I'm starting to think there might be something seriously wrong with him."
Grif: "You're telling me I've been pretending to work out here all this time and Sarge wasn't even watching? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"
Sarge: "Grif! Simmons! Front and center on the double!"
"Why do you think Sarge cares about the wall?" Jaune asked.
Nora stood up "It's a wall that blocks red team from leaving on their side, conveniently forcing them to leave by passing by blue base! It's a blue plot to force them into paying a toll to pass! Controlling their trade and freedom!" She shouted.
"Well... I couldn't have said it better myself." Ren deadpanned.
Jaune laughed, "So then what's behind the wall?"
"Probably just the way out." Weiss suggested.
"Or the canyon wall." Blake chuckled.
"Or a third base!" Nora gasped. "Green team!"
"Green team?" Ren asked, Nora just nodded.
"Freelancer team." Yang suggested.
"Aliens!" Ruby shouted.
"All of you sound like conspiracy theorists." Blake chuckled.
Cut to the Blues admiring the Falcon.
"They got a plane!" Ruby shouted.
"More of a helicopter, a planicopter." Nora said, not with her inside voice.
"It looks like a Mistralian airship." Pyrrha noted.
Tucker: "Soo... many. Church we are going to pick up so many chicks."
Yang and Jaune laughed while the others groaned.
"Of course." Weiss shook her head.
"Yeah, of course he's going to pick up a ton." Yang nodded in agreement.
"Don't be daft! That's obviously not what I meant." Weiss huffed.
Tucker: "I mean, I know I said that about the tank. But this, this is a frigging helicopter. You have any idea what the word 'pilot' means to women?"
"Person who flies?" Ruby asked.
"Person who can fly them around." Yang explained, holding up a finger to Ruby.
"Oh how romantic." Ruby rolled her eyes.
"Awww." Yang gushed.
Caboose: "This is the best Christmas ever."
"What's that word mean?" Blake mumbled.
"Christmas, I feel like one of them has mentioned that before. I think it was Donut?" Jaune frowned.
"He told a story about how he saved it." Ren recalled.
Tucker: "Shut up, Caboose!"
Church: "Both of you shut up! You're ruining the moment. Man, just imagine what we can do with this thing..."
"This is just like when they got Sheila." Jaune commented.
"I wonder what it's name is." Nora mumbled.
"What do you think it's called?" Ruby asked.
"Ooo are we naming it like the warthog?" Nora's eyes glowed.
Yang laughed, "Looks like an insect to me."
"What like a dragonfly?" Blake asked.
"Yeah! There you go." Yang nodded.
Cut to Church imagining himself getting in the Falcon leaving Blood Gulch
Imaginary Church: "Yes! I am out of here! See ya later losers!"
Church sighs at the thought.
Ruby's cheeks bulged as she laughed, "That's perfect for old Church, but new Church was happy to say."
"I can sympathise with the old Church." Weiss nodded.
"Do you know how to fly a plane?" Yang asked.
"Do they?" Weiss gestured to the screen.
Yang looked at the screen and barked a laugh, "If they can't drive a tank with six pedals there is no way they can fly a helicopter plane."
Cut to Tucker imagining himself inside the Falcon as many females jump up and down shouting how much they love him.
Imaginary Tucker: "Ladies please, I can't land till all 400 of you make room. It's going to be a pretty tight fit."
"Bow chicka bow wow." Yang quipped.
One of the girls jumps in to "steal" the falcon
Girl: "We're all blonde and we love you!"
Yang grimaced, "Ugh, why."
"Ha!" Ruby pointed.
"Do you love Tucker?" Blake asked.
"Absolutely not."
Tucker: "Nice."
Cut to Caboose imagining the Falcon on fire with imaginary Caboose looking down at the real one.
Imaginary Caboose: "I have no idea what I'm doing."
Pyrrha laughed, "His imaginary version talked to him!"
"It's interesting that he knew what would happen if he flew it." Ren chuckled.
"Caboose is a realist." Blake smirked.
Tucker and Church: "DIBS!"
Caboose: "Present! Ahh, I mean dibs."
Cut back to Red Base where Sarge scrutinizes a large metal wall at the end of the canyon. Both Simmons and Grif arrive on the scene.
"He's been staring at that for three weeks?" Weiss asked incredulously.
"Not much to see." Yang added.
Simmons: "You wanted to see us, sir?"
Sarge: "You're damn right! We got ourselves in an emergency situation!"
Simmons: "Let me guess, is it the Blues?"
Grif: "Dude, when has it ever been the Blues? That would make too much sense."
"Grif's right, it has never ever been the blues." Weiss chuckled.
"Smartest member of red team." Blake commented.
"Besides Lopez." Weiss added.
Sarge: "Over the past few weeks I've been conducting top secret reconnaissance. I think I may have stumbled upon an enormous gap in our defenses."
"What? Does that mean they built the wall?" Ruby frowned.
Simmons: "What? Where?"
Sarge: "Worst place of all, directly behind us."
Pyrrha nodded, "He's right, that is the worst place to have a gap in your defenses." She said as she rubbed her back.
Sarge turns his head slightly at the wall.
Simmons: "Umm... that's just a wall sir."
Sarge: "Well, do you have any idea what's behind that wall?"
Guess they didn't build it Ruby thought.
"Hey Ren, what do you bet is behind that wall?" Yang asked.
Ren frowned, "Hmm, don't know."
"Another base." Nora suggested, "One that's green."
Ren chuckled, "Ok sure, I think there's another base. Possibly green."
Yang nodded, "Ok, then I bet that behind that wall is an alien or a group of aliens."
"You think I'm right?" Ruby asked.
Yang nodded, "Yeah, I mean they're referencing a lot of past things so... remember that one alternate ending?"
"That seems unlikely." Ren pointed out.
"So does a random new base being behind that wall, anyway we have our bets. What are the stakes?" Yang raised an eyebrow.
"Ten lien, there could be anything behind that wall. Dangerous to bet anymore." Ren explained.
Yang nodded, "Alright then." The two shook hands.
Simmons: "No..."
Sarge: "I'm disappointed in you for not thinking about it, Simmons."
Grif: "What about me, Sarge? Are you disappointed in me for not caring about it?"
"Grif certainly finds pleasure in angering Sarge." Weiss commented.
"I love that about him." Yang laughed.
"I don't, Sarge should put him in his place." Nora crossed her arms.
Sarge: "All this time, we've been putting our back to the wall, without considering what could be on the other side. For all we know, the Blues have been building a massive army right behind us. Or it could be some sort of alien wall, containing a despicable evil just waiting to get loose!"
"Sounds like that game with the vaults." Jaune mumbled.
Grif: "Umm, Sarge, maybe you should sit down for a while, clear your head. I bet if you ask Command to send us a few lawn chairs- (gets interrupted by Simmons)"
"If only we could rig up lawn chairs outside our window, like a mini balcony." Yang commented.
Ruby gasped, "We can though! My bunk is super secure and only tilts if I roll the wrong way."
"It what!" Weiss shouted, "How long has your bunk been tilting!"
Ruby frowned, "Since we rigged it up?"
"You're saying that this entire time I've been sleeping under an accident waiting to happen!" Weiss shouted shrilly.
Simmons: "You know, come to think of it, that wall does seem to be really out of place. I mean why would anybody build a wall in a middle of an empty canyon?"
"I think it's to keep them inside." Blake commented.
Grif: "Why would anybody build a military base in an empty canyon?"
"To test the skill of the freelancers, against worthless soldiers that can be used as lab rats." Blake answered.
"Worthless?!" Pyrrha raised an eyebrow.
"In the eyes of the military." Blake clarified.
"They did what the UNSC couldn't." Nora smirked, "They're better than the military."
Pyrrha nodded, "They've proven time and time again that they are true soldiers... er good soldiers."
"Yeah definitely not true soldiers." Nora laughed.
Simmons (sighs): "Don't start that again!"
Grif: "These are questions that will never be answered, but will continue to be asked."
"Sadly for them, it was answered." Jaune commented.
"Well, for the real versions." Ruby added.
Sarge: "Damn it, men! We will not rest till we know exactly what is behind that wall. I already got Lopez conducting research in the field. Lopez status Oh El Reporto!"
Camera zoom to Lopez standing next to the wall.
Lopez: "Estoy 100% seguro que es una pared. [I am 100% sure it's a wall.]"
Weiss laughed, "I'm glad he's in the series."
"So this is set before Simmons tried to kill him." Ren noted.
Sarge: "Hot potato! I knew there was something foreign and mysterious about it."
Lopez: "Te odio tanto. [I hate you so much.]"
The episode cut to black.
Weiss chuckled, "Best character."
"Highly debatable." Ruby imitated Weiss.
" Episode 2" appeared on the screen with the theme.
Fade in to Blood Gulch, where an extremely large ramp pointing towards the wall can be seen.
"The members of red team would make great architects." Pyrrha commented.
"It's mostly Sarge." Nora giggled, "He built a red base in season eight."
"Meh, we're better. Do you know how fast we made our bunk beds?" Ruby asked.
Weiss groaned outwardly but smiled inwardly, I love our bunk beds. Although I would never sleep on the top bunk. I'm not that foolish.
Sarge: "Excellent work, men! At this rate, we will see what at the other side of that wall in no time."
Simmons: "Uhh, sir, you know I would normally never question your judgement."
"He questions Sarge's judgement often." Weiss pointed out.
"Just as often as he agrees with his crazy ideas." Pyrrha chuckled. "A testament to how awesome Sarge's plans are, even Simmons calls him out sometimes." Nora grinned.
Sarge: "Great! let's keep it that way. Now the plan is simple, by harnessing the momentous powers of inertia, we can increase the speed of the Warthog and blast straight through to the other side."
"That's not inertia." Ruby commented, "It's velocity."
"You'd know." Jaune laughed, "You're the fastest out of all of us."
Ruby nodded, "Yeah I have to know those equations and other annoying math junk sometimes. It's not always instinct when I use my semblance. I need to gauge how quickly I can get from one place to another before I do it so I don't slam into things."
"You make it sound like you're careful, we all know you're not." Weiss shook her head.
"Sometimes I forget." Ruby mumbled sheepishly.
Lopez: "Eso no es inertia. [That's not inertia.]"
"Well it's nice that Lopez knows too." Weiss commented.
Sarge: "He he he. Thanks Lopez."
Lopez: "Esta rampa es un gasto tremendo de recursos. Y tiempo. [This ramp was a tremendous waste of resources. And time.]"
"Yeah Grif was able to break through without a ramp." Nora pointed out.
"I strangely enough, agree with you Nora." Weiss tilted her head.
Simmons: "I don't know, Sarge, driving a car through a solid metal wall just seems a little... implausible."
Zoom to the top of the ramp showing Grif in the Warthog.
Grif: "IT'S FRIGGING IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Ironic." Pyrrha chuckled, "Because we all know it is possible."
"With badass animation, oh I bet they don't have that here." Yang realized.
"Animation is not a tool the characters can use." Weiss pointed out. "That wall is probably thicker than the one Grif broke through before."
"Yeah and even then, the jeep was wrecked afterwards." Yang said. "That was the Meta's doing." Jaune pointed out.
Sarge: "Don't you worry, Private Grif. We've taken extra special precautions to make sure nothing goes wrong, and no one gets hurt. Or to be more specific, there's very few things go wrong and one person is hurt."
Nora giggled, "Good plan."
Grif: "Why won't my seat belt unlock?!"
Nora guffawed, "His plan is going to work perfectly."
"Yes because his plan doesn't seem to be breaking through the wall." Weiss chuckled.
"This mini-series is already better than the last one." Blake added.
Sarge: "Extra Special precautions! Alright, let's kill two Grifs with one stone."
"Hmm, he kills Grif and breaks through the wall in one go." Nora hummed.
"I'm going to hazard a guess and say only the wall will break." Blake guessed.
"Grif has survived much worse." Pyrrha added.
Cut to Blues. Church and Tucker are seen negotiating, while Caboose operates one of the Falcon turrets in the background.
"Caboose is on one of the turrets." Pyrrha gripped the mattress under her.
"And Church is in his sights." Ruby laughed.
Pyrrha chuckled, lessening her grip. "That's what I'm worried about."
Church: "Alright, how about this. In exchange for letting me fly the new vehicle, I'll give you permanent shotgun."
Tucker: "Dude, Screw that! The passenger seats are exactly the same, not to mention completely exposed."
"Are they ignoring the fact that none of them can fly?" Weiss asked.
"Looks like it." Ren chuckled.
Church: "But- but look! It's got a badass machine gun!"
"Yes it does." Ruby stared, "Not as cool as Coco's though."
"Especially after what you've done to it." Pyrrha laughed.
"Coco helped, I mean she built the original herself." Ruby explained. "I still need to see what she thinks of adding a flamethrower!"
Caboose: "(making airplane noises) This is captain Caboose! We are at a losing altitude. The use of cell phones and other electronic devices is now permitted. If you are interested in our frequent flyer program, we will soon begin handing out pamphlets."
Pyrrha laughed, "Captain Caboose reminds me of the deleted flight attendant Caboose scene."
"Hmm so that sketch got altered and used here." Ren mumbled.
"I like that he permits scrolls as they're losing altitude." Ruby grinned.
Tucker: "Listen, I'm not falling to my death just because you don't know how to fly that thing."
Church: "Oh what, and you do?"
"And they finally address it, through insults." Weiss shook her head. "How else would you expect?" Blake asked.
Tucker: "Hell no! But I never get anything around here. You got your sniper rifle, Caboose got to drive the tank, and the Reds have their jeep."
Cut back to the Reds. The warthog accelerates down the ramp with Grif screaming all the way down.
Grif: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
The Warthog crashes into the wall and explodes, stopping Grif's screaming. The burning remains roll in front of Red Team.
Grif: "(weakly)... Ow."
The room erupted with laughter.
"Oh that's the best cuts in the series!" Yang clapped.
"Welp, plan failed." Ruby giggled.
"Maybe not, Grif could be dead or seriously injured." Nora pointed out.
"Hopefully." Weiss added.
"That's cruel." Pyrrha chuckled.
Simmons: "Well, looks like that plan failed completely."
Sarge: "Simmons, don't be so quick to judge! Grif, are you alive in there?"
Grif: "Yes... barely..."
Sarge: "Aw damn it... total failure..."
Nora burst out laughing again, "Aww, the plan did fail."
Cut to Blue Base
Tucker: "All I'm saying is, for someone who hasn't gotten laid since deployment, I sure do feel like I'm getting screwed all the time."
Yang snickered. "I doubt he got laid even before deployment."
"Does that matter? Reprobates, all of you." Weiss grumbled.
"At least we know Tucker is brave and noble when it counts." Pyrrha smiled.
"Yeah." Jaune chuckled nervously.
Church: "(sigh) Okay, fine... I guess we'll just have to settle this the old fashion way."
"Ohh and what's that mean?" Nora asked.
"Shooting contest? An actual fight?" Blake suggested.
"Church would never accept a shooting contest, he knows he's terrible." Ruby pointed out.
Cut back to Red Base, where Sarge stares at the wall until Simmons approaches him.
Sarge: "Simmons, report status... I mean Status report, Simmons! (grumbles)"
Simmons: "Well sir, the Warthog is destroyed, the wall is still intact, and Donut says that Grif is lucky to be alive."
Sarge: "All terrible news!"
Nora laughed, "Sarge is great in these."
"He should have known the Warthog would be destroyed." Weiss sighed.
"Eh, maybe he's confident in his work. I'm confident with
Bumblebee." Yang explained. "I bet I could have broken through that wall no problem. But I would have rather jumped it than risk damaging my ride."
Simmons: "I'd hate to say it sir, but I really don't think we have enough firepower to blast through to the other side."
"Wait they had a rocket jeep! Why didn't they try shooting at it first!" Weiss facepalmed.
"Sarge wanted to kill Grif." Nora explained.
"Ugh, that's obvious." Weiss groaned.
Sarge: "So what I'm hearing you say is that we need to find something with even more firepower."
"Yes." Nora begged.
"No." Ren deadpanned.
Simmons: "Actually sir, I was saying..."
Sarge: "Like a tank!"
Simmons: "Wait, what?"
Sarge: "It's settled then! You and Grif will commandeer the enemy vehicle."
"And then they'll see the dragonfly and steal it instead." Blake summarized.
"Is that set in stone? Dragonfly?" Ren asked.
"Well unless they come up with a name." Ruby shrugged.
Grif runs out of the base.
Grif: "NO! There is no way I survived an 80 mile per hour crash, just to get blown up by a tank!"
"Ohh Sarge's plan B to kill him." Nora commented.
Sarge: "Fine... Lopez..."
Lopez is seen gathering up all the Warthog parts
Sarge: "Lopez, stop fooling around! You're going with Simmons to Blue Base."
"Stop fooling around? He's the only one being productive." Weiss pointed out.
Lopez: "¿Yo tengo que regresar?[Do I have to come back?]"
Weiss laughed, holding a hand to her mouth. "His lines have improved. This is the sarcastic Lopez I like."
"He's more sassy than sarcastic." Yang pointed out.
Weiss nodded.
Sarge: "(to Grif) Now, start turning this ridiculous ramp contraption, into an equally ridiculous elevator contraption of similar value."
"He understands his contraptions are ridiculous and worthless?" Weiss gasped, Nora giggled and nodded.
Grif: "What? Why?"
Sarge: "Because, in the somewhat likely event that these two don't come back, we've got to have a fallback plan."
Simmons: "(sigh) What's the fallback plan?"
Sarge: "Simple, if we can't go through the wall, then we're going to go over it!"
"Why didn't they do that to begin with? That ramp could have been a ramp up to the top." Weiss sighed.
"Hey, Sarge is the architect." Nora defended.
"A poor one." Weiss rolled her eyes.
Grif: "But... I hate heights..."
Bird caws
Grif: "(nervously) Almost as much as I hate birds."
The scene faded to black.
Jaune laughed, "It's going to be like relocated all over again."
"Funny, now they're referencing other mini-series." Ren commented.
"Again these are probably spaced far apart, so this could have come out years after Relocated." Blake explained.
"We're fortunate to be able to binge watch the series." Pyrrha smiled. Jaune nodded as he hit play.
" Episode 3" appeared on the screen with the theme.
The scene opens to show Grif standing high up the cliffside with a badly built ramp up the side.
"Sarge clearly wasn't helping with that." Weiss pointed.
Jaune frowned "Why'd they have to build all of that-"
"If that can even be called building." Weiss grimaced.
"-shouldn't they have a hundred foot ladder somewhere?" Jaune finished.
"What? Oh from relocated. Maybe that's just in Valhalla." Ruby shrugged.
Grif: "(Sobbing)SARGE! DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!" Nora giggled, Pyrrha grimaced, "He really hates heights."
"I do too." Jaune raised his hand.
Sarge: "Damn it Grif, hurry up! We gotta find out what's on the other side of that wall."
Grif: "But I don't think I can climb any higher. And the birds keep circling me, why are they doing that?! (Bird caws) WHAT HAVE I DONE TO ANGER YOU?! Go crap on a car or something. Leave me alone!"
"Birds circling them is commonplace in Blood Gulch." Ren commented.
"In Valhalla it was just one bird, now there's more for Grif." Ruby giggled.
Sarge: "Heh, you move so little most of the time they must think you're a statue. Birds love statues."
"Grif has bad luck with birds." Jaune laughed.
Yang grimaced, "Yeah me too, there's this annoying crow back in Patch that has landed in my hair a few times. That thing is weird, I could swear it was laughing while it was trying to make a nest."
"I like that crow, it would always land on my shoulder. Once it even warned me when a Grimm was behind me." Ruby grinned.
"That thing is a little devil." Yang said as she moved her hand through her hair, fraying tiny tangles.
Grif: "SA-ARGE!"
Sarge: "Less talking more climbing. For all we know, Simmons and Lopez are already in a heated battle with the Blues!"
Another bird caw
Grif: "AHH! I think there's a nest up here. Oh god, what if there's eggs?!"
"Ohh lunch." Nora's belly rumbled.
"Or they can egg blue base." Yang added.
"So immature." Weiss scoffed.
"I would never do that." Yang shook her head, "That's just obnoxious."
"Sounds fun." Nora giggled.
Cut to Simmons and Lopez spying on the Blues through a sniper scope. The original halo 2 sniper zoomed reticle.
Ruby frowned, "The reticle looks a little off." She mumbled.
Simmons: "Alright Lopez, there's the tank. But where are all the Blues?"
Lopez: "Probablemente fuera espiandonos mientras usan un rifle como telescopio. [Probably off spying on us while using a sniper rifle as a telescope.]"
Ruby and Weiss snickered.
Simmons: "(spotting them) Oh wait, there they are. What are they doing?"
Church and Tucker are standing opposite from each other with Caboose below them.
"Looks like they're about to have a duel." Jaune commented. "Like an old Vacuan movie."
"Wah. wah. wah." Nora raised her pitch to a high whine.
"With Caboose as the official. He's going to shoot Church." Ruby giggled.
"He hasn't shot Church in a long time." Pyrrha defended. "But I am wary that he will."
Lopez: "En serio, todo esto podría terminar en tres disparos. Solo apreta el gatillo maldito. [Seriously, this whole thing could be over in three shots. Just pull the damn trigger.]"
Weiss chuckled, "Of course Lopez would be only one of them to say it."
"He should take the sniper." Ruby added.
Simmons: "You're right Lopez, this does seem suspicious."
Lopez: "Dispárame a mí a cambio. [Shoot me instead.]"
Weiss and Blake burst out laughing.
Church: "Alright, you ready?"
Tucker: "Yeah, I'm ready, ready to win that sweet ass helicopter."
Church: "On 3, 1"
Tucker: "2"
Church: "3!"
Church and Tucker: "Caboose!"
Pyrrha raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"
Caboose: "Hello!"
Caboose pops into frame.
Pyrrha and Ruby began to laugh.
"Nice camera work." Blake added with a chuckle.
Tucker: "Come here Caboose!" Church: "Come on Caboose!
Tucker: "Come here buddy!"
Church: "Hey, I've got something for you!"
Ruby, Pyrrha, Blake, and Yang burst out laughing when they understood what was happening.
"They're beckoning him like a dog." Weiss commented.
"Like us and Zwei!" Ruby said to Yang.
"He picks me more than you!" Yang smirked smugly.
"What? Never! He always picks me!" Ruby argued.
"Who do you think Caboose will pick?" Jaune asked. "It has to be Church right?"
"Well, he doesn't like Tucker that much and loves Church." Pyrrha shrugged with her hands, moving them like two scales. "It's not much of a competition."
Church: "Come say hi to your good friend, Church!"
Tucker: "Cabo-o-ose!"
Church: "What's up, buddy?!"
"He sounds like dad talking to Zwei." Ruby laughed.
"Exactly like dad, normally by the way they talk I can hear a slight difference but right now. They sound exactly the same, truly exactly the same." Yang added.
Ruby nodded, "I know I hear it too."
Caboose: "Yes, that's right, yes, I am Caboose, yes that is correct, why do you keep saying my name?"
Tucker and Church continually call out to Caboose.
"Oh by confusing him there is now a competition." Pyrrha nodded.
Tucker: "Come here buddy! I've got a surprise for you!"
Church: "No no no no, over here, over here Caboose, by me!"
Caboose: "Well yes, that would be fun."
Caboose makes his way over to Church.
"Church's strategy seems to be using himself as the reward." Ren commented.
"It's a good one because Caboose loves him and always wants to be his best friend." Pyrrha nodded.
"Tucker is outright lying, promising a present." Blake added. "Also a good strategy because Caboose is childlike."
"Is that what you'd do if you were in their situation?" Pyrrha asked.
Blake nodded.
"None of us have the same weight with Caboose as Church does. So Tucker's plan is the best." Jaune explained. "Except I'd have an actual reward, like cookies."
"Yeah cookies are good, they'd work on me." Ruby nodded.
Tucker: "Caboose! If you come here I'll help you organize your kitten calendars."
Caboose walks toward Tucker.
Yang snickered, glancing at Blake.
Caboose: "Yeah well, maybe we can scrapbook together."
Church: "Wait! Caboose, I'll teach you how to read a calendar."
Caboose walks toward Church.
"Is Church that willing to sacrifice for the dragonfly?" Blake asked.
"Looks like it." Ruby giggled. "He's read to Caboose before, it won't be that bad."
Caboose: "I, I never thought of that actually before that could be good."
Tucker: "Caboose, I'll let you play with the tank whenever you want."
Pyrrha was in stitches, chest shaking up and down with her laughter.
Caboose walks toward Tucker.
Caboose: "Oh, wow, yeah, we can jungle gym maybe even."
"Yeah the canon can be swung on." Nora's eyes widened.
Church: "Wait, hey wait, Tucker! Come on you can't do that!"
"He's worried about Caboose in the tank." Ruby laughed. Pyrrha nodded, unable to speak.
Tucker: "Why not? You never ruled out lying. Half of the stuff I have in life I got through lying. And the other half I got by stealing, which is basically just lying about which stuff is yours."
Cinder's crew SS- Not Canon
"That's a great way to put it." Mercury mocked, "Turns out you're not such a bad liar."
Emerald scoffed, "If you have to lie about how you got something it means you were caught. I have only been questioned by one person, Cinder."
Cinder smiled, "Ah, our first meeting." She telegraphed a slight glance towards Emerald who ate it up. She's completely infatuated with me, she doesn't know what she wants with me. A motherly figure? a sister she never had? a friend until the end? Possibly even a romantic partner. Cinder chuckled, looking back at the screen. Church could easily manipulate Caboose, but refuses to. Caboose's infatuation is wasted on Church... hmm that statement could be used for many. Cinder chuckled again at her own joke.
Neo, behind all of them also laughed. Cinder could only guess that she found Church and Tucker beckoning Caboose hilarious.
Church: "No! No, hey Caboose, wouldn't you rather come over and hang out with me? Your best frien... your best... your be... You know what forget it, it's not worth it."
"Aww he couldn't say it." Ruby laughed.
"Caboose still noticed." Pyrrha smiled.
Caboose: "Nah, too late, I heard you say it, we all did."
Pyrrha chuckled.
Tucker: "Yeah! Watch out, ladies! Captain Tucker is ready for lift-off."
Yang shook her head, "I'm sure we all heard the innuendo."
"I didn't until you said that." Ruby groaned.
Cut to Simmons and Lopez standing by the tank
"That was the best scene with Caboose so far." Pyrrha laughed, wiping her eye. "I- I loved that. It was so sweet and funny, almost too sweet for this show."
"This show is such a combination of different moods and tones, anything can happen." Blake smiled.
Pyrrha nodded, "Exactly."
Simmons: "Okay! We made it, let's get out of here before the Blues... Wait. What's that?"
Lopez: "¿Qué importa? Vámonos. [Who cares? Let's go.]"
Weiss frowned, "Why would Lopez not care? Obviously stealing the flying vehicle would be better. They could just fly over."
"Maybe he just doesn't care, or knows Sarge would get mad that they didn't follow orders." Nora explained.
"That sounds like him, even if they could fly out of the canyon too. He would not be pleased." Pyrrha added.
Simmons: "Oh my gosh! Is that a helicopter?!"
Lopez: "Mira, incluso dejaron las llaves en el contacto. [Look, they even left the keys in the ignition.]"
Simmons: "Alright Lopez, change of plan, we're stealing that airship!"
Lopez: "¿Cómo? No estamos capacitados para volar. [How? We aren't trained to fly it.]"
Weiss nodded, "Hm so doesn't know how to fly it either."
Simmons: "Think about it, what if the tank isn't strong enough to blast through the wall? What then?"
Lopez: "Vamos a tener un tanque. Tendremos un tanque, y los Azules tendrán un avión pequeño que probablemente ni siquiera puedan volar. [Then we will have a tank. We will have a tank, and the Blues will have a tiny plane that they probably can't even fly.]"
"All good points, they probably wouldn't even need to shoot it out of the sky. They could just watch with popcorn." Jaune commented.
Nora laughed, "Like watching fireworks."
Simmons: "Exactly! So if we steal that chopper, we can just go over the wall instead of through it! It's a sure thing!"
Lopez: "No lo podemos volar tampoco.[We can't fly it either.]"
Simmons: "We'd be dumb not to do it!"
"They're going to be dumb doing it." Weiss sighed.
Cut to Falcon, Simmons hops in.
Simmons: "Yep!"
Phil: "Hello, and thank you for activating UH144 Falcon aircraft, you may call me, Phil."
"Phil like Filss?" Ruby asked.
"Why not shill, like Sheila." Yang snickered.
"Was that a joke? What does that even mean?" Weiss asked.
"You know, shill. Like a person who advertises for a thing but doesn't tell you they're being sponso-"
"I know what a shill is, trust me the SDC has hired a ton." Weiss explained. "How does that relate to the... Falcon I guess?"
"Does it have to?" Yang shrugged. "Also Falcon? Doesn't really look like one."
"Nor does the hornet look like a hornet." Ren pointed out.
Yang nodded, "Yeah that's true."
Simmons: "Oh, why hello there, Phil."
Phil: "Would you like me to run the tutorial program?"
Jaune laughed, "Always run the tutorial program."
Yang hummed, "I recognize that voice, like a robotic Junior."
Simmons: "Oh hell yeah, I love tutorials."
"Tutorials suck!" Yang shouted.
"What? You need to play the tutorial to learn how to play the game?" Jaune pointed out.
"I can figure it out on my own." Yang argued.
"Yeah! Just mash buttons until you figure it out. It's much faster." Ruby explained.
Phil: "Tutorial mode activated."
Falcon starts to beep
Simmons: "Best. Day. Ever!"
Lopez: "Empollón [Nerd.]"
Weiss snickered.
Simmons: "Shut up! Don't ruin this for me!"
Cut to Tucker and Church heading towards Blue base
Church: "Okay, okay. How 'bout this, what if I threw in the keys to the tank as well?"
"I'd take that." Nora nodded.
"He should ask for Church's sniper. I'd only take that." Ruby explained.
"Church should ask for Tucker's sword.. wait does he even have it in here?" Jaune asked.
"Maybe?" Ren frowned, thinking. "Let's see if it's there."
"It should be on his hip." Jaune added.
Tucker: "No! I'm not giving you my helicopter."
Church: "Oh, how 'bout this, what if I promised to be your wingman... for life?"
Tucker: "Not happenin' dude."
"I only see a pistol, and games like these only allow you to carry two weapons." Jaune explained, Ren nodded.
Church: "Tucker, this is my final offer. I will give you the sniper rifle."
"He's desperate." Ruby laughed.
Tucker: "Y'know Church, the old Tucker probably would've taken you up on that. But I'm Captain Tucker now, and Captain Tucker only does two things: gets laid and pilots his sweet-ass helicopter."
The Falcon suddenly appears above Church and Tucker, spiraling out of control.
"He's going to regret not taking Church up on his offer." Ruby cackled.
"They actually got it off the ground." Weiss hummed, "Surprising."
Simmons: "Help! I have no idea what I'm doing!"
Lopez: "¡Sabía que no iba a funcionar![I knew this wouldn't work!]"
Phil: "Now that you've mastered the art of lift-off, we will move on to the landing..."
Falcon spins off-screen
"Their tutorial programs suck." Nora giggled.
"I want one." Ruby laughed.
"I definitely don't want one in Bumblebee." Yang shook her head.
Tucker: "On the other hand, Captain Tucker could also learn to love rifles in exchange for-"
Church: "Yeah, deal's off Captain."
Ruby and Jaune laughed.
"He should be like Jaune and just play around with the sniper when Church isn't looking." Nora commented.
Jaune blushed, "Uh- what I don't d- do that!" He stammered.
Team RWBY all gave him sideways looks, Jaune turned to his team. "You mean, you guys saw me?"
"Your Javelin skills could use some touching up." Pyrrha laughed, "But you work my shield and Miló in Xiphos form rather well. But a Xiphos is essentially a short-sword so that could also use some work too."
"You hold my weapons as if they're separate, they're not." Ren explained.
"Yeah and you almost fired a grenade in our room instead of switching to hammer form." Nora giggled.
Jaune blushed even redder, he tried hiding his face by looking away awkwardly.
"At least he's not playing with our weapons." Weiss mumbled.
Jaune's breath caught, he coughed, not meeting anyone's eyes.
Team RWBY glared at Jaune, Ruby held Crescent Rose especially close.
Cut to Grif standing on a cliff-edge overlooking Red base, the Falcon continues to spin out of control in the background
Grif: "Uh, Sarge?! I think I see something!"
Sarge: "Is it a secret weapon? No, wait! It's another Blue base isn't it?"
Nora gasped, "I'm going to be partly right!"
"As will I." Ren smirked.
"We'll see." Yang smirked.
Grif: "It kinda looks like a big bird."
Sarge: "We already took care of that situation, Private."
"So, I'm guessing they'll either crash into Grif or the wall." Blake commented.
"Grif." The group chorused.
Grif: "Wait a minute, is that-"
Simmons: "Grif!"
Grif: "Simmons!"
Sarge: "Simmons?"
Simmons: "Save me!"
Grif: "He's gonna crash! Sarge, get me down!"
Sarge: "No abandoning the mission!"
Nora laughed, "Yeah!"
Grif: "You've gotta be kidding me!"
Grif attempts to climb higher
Simmons: "I don't wanna die a virgin!"
Lopez: "¿Por qué me miras a mí cuándo dices eso?[Why are you looking at me when you say that?]"
Yang's eyes widened, she fell over as she began to physically erupt with laughter.
"I've never heard Lopez yell like that." Weiss laughed. "That is- I don't know what to say to that."
Yang sat up and leant back as her body was wracked with laughter.
Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. "I- Simmons was looking at Lopez, I can just picture it!"
"You're picturing it!" Ruby grimaced.
Yang laughed even harder if that was even possible, "Ruby oh m- no not that! Simmons and Lopez looking at each other in the Falcon."
Weiss shook her head, "Lopez has been the highlight of this episode."
"No Simmons has! For that one joke!" Yang laughed.
"I don't think Simmons was joking." Pyrrha grimaced.
"I think he was genuinely considering it." Jaune laughed.
"Does that mean Simmons is bi? Cool." Yang commented.
"I think it was more a joke on his desperation to not die a virgin." Blake chuckled.
"Please enough with this joke, I don't want to think about Lopez and Simmons doing that." Weiss shook her head.
Grif frantically attempts to climb on top of the wall, the Falcon getting closer to him
Grif: "Hurry, hurry, hurry!"
Grif finally manages to reach the top
Grif: "I made it!"
The Falcon crashes into the wall and explodes, sending a screaming Grif into the air. Shot cuts to black.
"He crashed into both Simmons and the wall." Ren chuckled.
Cut to a dazed Simmons outside of Red base after the crash
Simmons: "Ugh..."
Sarge: "Simmons! Your terrible piloting skills broke through the wall! You get an A+ in doing things bad."
Jaune laughed, "Where's my A+"
"Where's Ruby's?" Weiss asked.
"Hey!" Ruby protested.
Simmons: "But... but where's Grif?"
Grif: "*bleep* damn it."
"Wait why was there a bleep? Jaune are we watching a censored version? Boo!" Yang shouted.
Jaune fumbled with his scroll, "Ugh I don't think so?"
"Why would that be bleeped?" Yang asked.
"What did he say?" Ruby asked.
"How should I know, it was bleeped." Yang explained.
"You're the expert." Ruby retorted.
Yang sighed, "Well it was either God or fuck."
"They've said that and worse before." Weiss pointed out. "Although I am not against the censoring of this show."
"I am." Yang stated the obvious.
"As am I." Blake nodded.
"Me too." Nora pouted.
"I don't mind it, as long as the bleeps aren't loud." Jaune mumbled.
Ruby nodded, "Yeah."
"Either way is fine." Ren hummed.
Pyrrha nodded in agreement with Ren.
"I hope they don't start censoring the entire show, that would suck. If they start censoring cusses, what's next?" Yang complained.
"I wouldn't panic, this is a mini-series. It could be specific to this miniseries for a variety of reasons." Ren explained.
Yang frowned, "I don't know, I hope you're right. Because come to think of it they have censored themselves. Simmons said gosh and Grif said friggin instead of god and fucking."
Cut to a shot of Grif on the other side of the wall, facing a second wall built behind the first one
Simmons: "Another wall? How are we gonna get through that?!"
"I was right!" Blake laughed. "Another wall."
"You said canyon wall." Yang corrected.
"And you said aliens ." Blake shot back.
"I guess we were both wrong." Ren hummed. "Although I wonder what's behind the second wall."
"Another wall." Blake said immediately.
"Yeah, have to go with her on that one." Yang jammed a thumb in Blake's direction.
"And I'd say the same." Ren nodded.
Sarge: "Why would we do that?"
"What?" Nora frowned.
Simmons: "Uh, Sir?"
Sarge: "I just wanted to know what was on the other side of our wall. It turns out it was just a harmless second wall. Case closed."
Nora began to laugh, Weiss held up her hands, "B- but there's a second wall. What? Something is obviously behind it too!"
Simmons: "But... but Sir?"
Sarge: "Case. closed."
Weiss sighed as Nora laughed. "Why wouldn't he go investigate?"
"It's a harmless second wall." Nora explained.
"Would you leave that second wall be?" Weiss asked.
"Oh no, I'd blow threw all the walls until I found out what was behind them." Nora said with confidence.
Lopez: "¿Qué acaban de hacer ustedes idiotas?[What did you idiots do?]"
Sarge: "Ah, Lopez! Perfect timing. This wall needs to be rebuilt, pronto!"
Lopez: "¿Qué?[What?]"
"I agree, what!" Weiss groaned.
Sarge: "Oh, and by the way, when you're done with that wall the Warthog could use some maintenance. It's making kind of a funny sound when it starts and it's also uh... in several pieces. Have fun with that!"
Weiss sighed, the others laughed.
Grif: "I think my knees are in several pieces."
Cut to Lopez imagining himself firing a tank at both teams, who scream in pain. Donut and Caboose aren't a part of the group.
The episode cuts to black.
Weiss laughed as the episode ended, "Lopez's fantasy is something I can easily relate to."
"Did you notice that Caboose wasn't a part of it?" Pyrrha smiled. "I'm assuming that means he doesn't hate Caboose."
"Or Donut, he wasn't there either. Or in the whole mini-series." Nora added.
"He was missing in action." Yang quipped.
"This mini-series was great, a lot better than MIA." Blake commented.
"Better than Recovery one?" Ruby asked.
"No, Recovery one is still the best." Blake steadfastly disagreed.
Jaune hummed, "I think this one is my favorite so far, what about you guys?"
"My favorite too, just for that scene with Caboose. That scene is possibly my favorite scene to date." Pyrrha laughed, thinking of it again.
"This one, Church was pretty funny." Ruby shrugged.
"This one was really funny, but Out of Mind was pretty good. They're kind of equal to me." Yang tilted her hand back and forth.
"Out of Mind. it debuted Delta." Ren explained.
"Relocated was really funny, I liked it when Caboose was sneaking around." Nora giggled.
Pyrrha and Blake laughed, "Me too." They chorused.
"Recovery One." Weiss stated simply. "But I do appreciate the increased screen time Lopez was given for this."
"He was great in this episode I agree." Blake nodded, standing up. "So I guess that's it for today? Season ten tomorrow?"
"Oh absolutely, these were great but come on. Carolina just recruited the Reds and Blues to go kill the director. I'm expecting a badass season tomorrow." Yang stood up, stretching.
Jaune nodded, moving to turn off his scroll. "Ok, same time tomorrow. I know you're going to be busy with Weapons." Jaune said, turning to Ruby.
Before Ruby could speak however, Filss's voice rang out right before Jaune could turn off his scroll.
" Hello! And thank you for continuing to watch the show. Before starting season ten, there are just two more episodes you need to watch. However these episodes are a little different..."
Did you like the side story in the middle of the chapter instead of at the end? I might start writing them that way from now on. It's easier for me.