The cool air graced our faces as we left the restaurant, the feeling of freedom taking both of our hands and leading us into the town centre. Jan spun me under his shoulder and caught me in his arms when I almost tripped over the pavement. Now, the liberty of finally being alone was taking us to new highs; the boys had decided to stay inside until we met at the band shoot later, promising to either stay at brunch or return to the apartment, an agreement mainly lead by Kris and Nace, but decided upon by the whole group.
We were alone at last.
We wandered through the Liverpudlian streets, which were alive with the sound of buskers and chatter from excited girls on their way to the commercial district. With these huge crowds, no attention would be on us as it had been the night we had first met; we were free to dance and play without a single camera around.
'I need to go to Primark.' I told him, looking up to meet his dark eyes. 'This is my only outfit.' I was lucky to have chosen to wear jeans instead of a true party dress last night, otherwise I would not have been able to leave the apartment for fear of being stared down or laughed at.
'Primark? Surely not.'
'Cheap, satisfactory. I'll probably only be here for a few days, and it's not exactly like I can take the clothes back with me.' I replied.
'Primark it is.' he sighed, not wanting to fight against my perfectly valid argument. He geared himself up by taking in a deep breath before walking with me into the babble of teenagers entering the store. His reaction looked so genuine that, if I hadn't known better, I would've taken it as fact.
Traipsing around behind me, Jan allowed me adequate space to pick out some new clothes. After a minute or of silence, due to me making critical decisions about which tops to buy, he shoved something into my hand.
'What about this?' he joked, and I gave him a look before staring down at the bright, neon yellow jumpsuit that was now in my grasp. It almost blinded me, but I braced through it, in ordet to keep up the gag.
'Oh yes, this is clearly the most flattering thing.' I stated sarcastically, holding it up to myself, pretending to model it with different poses.
'Who are you trying to impress?' he laughed. He paused for a few seconds, milking the joke dry, before speaking again. 'On a more serious note, what about this?' He held up a dark green long-sleeve top, one that looked as though it would cling to all of the right places, carving out my chest with a dip in the front which was framed with lace. It was ribbed, skin-tight. Scandalous.
He looked pretty impressed with his pick, and even more so with my reaction - he could tell I wanted to wear it by the way I said nothing and just kept looking it up and down. 'You like it.' he said; not as a question, as a fact.
'I do. Why did you pick it?' I quizzed innocently, faking total cluelessnese.
I didn't expect to see Jan fluster so easily, his cheeks reddening slightly, as he rapidly looked from the top to me, trying to figure out what to say without either offending me or sounding thirsty. Despite his efforts, I could still feel his intention radiating off him like heat from a barbecue.
'It's definitely something you would wear.' he stated simply, trying to avoid my gaze as he cleared his throat.
'And you think I'd look good in it?' I took a step closer to him. This section itself was pretty dead, only a few middle-aged ladies milling around and gasping at the prices; the perfect place to taunt Jan. I wanted to reach out to him, gain access to his face, ask again why he would pick out such a revealing piece of clothing.
'You'd look good in anything.' he whispered, his breathing noticeably more heavy than it had been a few minutes ago. Teasing him, I responded with a one-word answer before picking it from his hand and walking swiftly away.
After I'd chosen some more outfits to buy, Jan suddenly robbed of his words, I lead us over to the accessories section. 'Time for me to choose something for you.'
I knew exactly what I was looking for - sunglasses. Yes, it was cold in Britain, but who didn't look cooler without sunglasses?
'Glasses? Seriously?' he asked me, stopping walking to place his hands on his hips like a true Balkan dad. Although he didn't look too impressed right now, I assured myself that he would warm to the idea once I found the right pair. I shuffled through the racks, intently staring at each one before deciding that they weren't the best fit.
'These?' I asked, holding up a pair of comical clout-goggles studded with diamantés around the edges. Taking them from me, he placed them onto his face. I nodded, so he walked up to the nearest mirror, where he almost retched and immediately ran back to me.
'Awful. Second option?' he questioned, taking them off and pressing them firmly back into my open palm, a definite rejection. I didn't want to tell him that I had been joking - his current expression was too fun for me to spoil, so I said nothing and went back to the search.
It only took a few minutes of venturing around the aisle for me to pull out what I instantly knew was the perfect fit for Jan. Bright red cat-eyes with deep orange lenses, sharp and bold.
'These.' I handed them over to him. Despite looking slightly taken aback at first, he shrugged his doubts off and tried them on anyway.
'You look kissable.' I dared.
'I'm already kissable, darling.' He did a little spin and then moved them slightly down his nose to drop me a quick wink. Luckily, by the time my cheeks had responded to his comment and were turning hot, he was already parading over to the mirror again, with much more swagger than ever before. He took a few seconds, adjusting them, before coming back over to me and looking significantly happier than he had with the other pair.
'Perfect.'
~o~
Although the queue was long, we eventually escaped Primark and ended up back on the streets. Despite the wind, which was amplified due to our close proximity to water, Jan's sunglasses were still on his face - he'd only taken them off once so far, and that was so I could pay for them.
'I'll be wearing these at the next gig.' he had told me as the cashier checked us out.
'Really? I didn't think you liked them that much.' I laughed, noticing the sudden smile on his face.
'I want you to be there; if you aren't, these will remind me.'
'Won't the fans want you to wear theirs?' I questioned, knowing that, at most of the gigs I'd been to, gifting had mainly consisted of hats, bracelets, sunglasses. Or some slightly more questionable things.
The way he looked at me told me that I mattered more than any supporter. 'Someone else can wear them - these are mine. Ours.'
'Pre-shoot drinks?' he asked, despite already knowing my answer. I shot him a glare in response, and he sheepishly looked down at his feet, before searching for the nearest bar. Once he'd seen one, he took my hand and lead me inside.
It was barely 3PM - hence the place was pretty dead, with only a few people dotted around the tables.
'Why don't you change in the bathroom?' Jan asked. 'That way, we won't have to go back to the apartment.'
'Good idea.' I replied, picking up the Primark bag and heading towards the toilet. Of course, it wasn't ideal - I'd much prefer not having to get changed inside a cubicle - but, if that meant that we didn't have to see the boys before the band shoot, then it was the better idea. I knew it would save us about half an hour, and that meant more time with Jan.
Thankfully, there was nobody actually inside the bathroom. To give myself more space, I guiltily went into the disabled toilet, setting down the bag on the floor and pulling the top out of it. It was strangely coincidental, how I would have probably chosen this for myself. Maybe Jan knew me better than I thought.
Once I had finished changing, I headed towards the mirror by the sink, checking how I looked. Once I was satisfied that I had pulled the piece of clothing into the right place, ensuring that it covered up my bra and didn't wrinkle around my arms, I retrieved the bag and left the toilet, sauntering over to where Jan was sat.
'Wow.' was all he had to say as I sat down. I could feel my cheeks burning with red as he refused to take his eyes off me. 'And what can I get for the lady?' he asked, still completely distracted by the new look.
'Just a Malibu and Coke, please.' There was something between me and coconut that may have even been stronger than what was between me and Jan, however difficult that was.
I pulled my phone from my pocket when he left for the bar, checking my messages with haste. Exactly as I had expected, messages from both Mum and Dad covered my phone, each in very different tones.
Mum 💞
13:46
Lilia, I think what you are doing is very irresponsible. Your father is not happy with your behaviour. Nontheless, you would be appreciated back home.
14:57
Please stop posting on your Instagram and ignoring me. Call me when you can.
Dad's messages were more frantic and frequent, dating back to last night, and the last one only sent a few minutes ago.
Dad
00:04
Lilia, I want you home before the morning. Love you
01:14
Please message me details on how you are getting home, since you have evidently rejected my lift offer. Ly
08:49
Why are you not home yet? Ly
09:16
Are you okay? Ly
10:45
If you are not home within the hour, I will be ringing you. Ly
12:23
-missed call-
Lilia, do you care at all?
13:50
Remember me? Your father? Your mother had told me you are still active on social media but showing no response to our messages.
14:17
Lilia, I'm disappointed in you.
15:03
You are being reckless; you will regret this when you are older.
The messages ended there; I did not bother replying to everything; responding to Dad would be like throwing extra wood onto a fire. However, I knew not to punish my mum for his actions, so I clicked back onto our chat and began to type.
Mum
15:13
mum, i'm okay. i'm staying with jan right now, he's taking care of me. i will be back in probably a week or so. just writing to tell you i'm safe and everything is fine, i'm just giving dad some time to cool off.
Sighing, I set my phone back on the table, glancing over to Jan, who was also glancing at me. During the rest of his time waiting for our drinks to be made, I caught him sneaking a few more looks at me, pretending that he was speaking to the bartender, who didn't even look like he was paying the tinest bit of attention.
I avoided making eye contact with him, knowing he would look away - as much as I didn't want to admit it, I craved the attention. I was so close, so close.
So close to falling in love with Jan Peteh.