* this might be the longest chapter, bear with me pls *
Is it cool that I said all that? / Is it too soon to do this yet? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
XYRRA
'I have it with me.'
His reply had been shocking but it also brought relief to me. At least my mother's key wasn't lost. The first thought that came to my mind was that Eros had accidentally brought it with him. He probably had been curious about it and forgotten to return it. So my reply to him was, 'That's a relief. I thought it was gone for good. Can you give it to me on Monday?'
Then I waited and waited but his reply had not arrived until I fell asleep on the drive back.
Once again I was pulled into another dream. This time it had taken place in the kitchen back at my parent's house. I stood there and as I looked up, there was a red cloud of smoke hovering above me. The red cloud of smoke was twirling and twirling until I realized the end of its tail was actually connected to my palms.
I stared down, looking every bit confused, as I stared at the smoke in my palms. The smoke kept going in and in into my palms almost as if my palms had the power to absorb the red smoke. Kinda like a vacuum cleaner, really. Then I tilted my head up again and stared at the cloud of smoke to realize that it had a face. I squinted my eyes, trying to get a good look at it but before I could, I woke up.
"Hey, are you alright?" asked Ryker, his tone was worried.
I glanced at him right at the same time, he was glancing at me too, and gave him a small nod. "I am fine."
Although I was not entirely sure. All of these dreams had been very random and yet they felt very real. I tried to shake my worry away by thinking about my mother's key instead. Checking my phone for the dozenth time, I realized that Eros hadn't replied to me. So I texted him again, 'Hey, are you ok?'
Usually, he wouldn't want to worry me and immediately text back. Yet this time it was different. I was not sure what it was but he didn't reply again. I waited until Ryker parked the car and we both entered the packhouse an hour later. Still, Eros didn't reply. I started to worry, wondering what happened to him. But with him being in the North with his pack, there was no one I could ask.
Then when I settled with the thought that he was still angry about me going to the East, my phone chimed in. I was eating dinner with Dmitry and I saw his fork stopped midair before he continued eating as if he had heard nothing.
'I can't give you the key.'
"What?" I stared at my screen aghast.
Dmitry turned to face me and asked, "What is wrong?" His eyes were dead serious and his body was taut. It was almost as if he was ready to jump into a fight for me.
"Um, nothing." I gave him what I hoped was a convincing smile and then went back to my phone. I confusedly typed my reply.
'Why?'
This time, Eros went back to not reply. Even after I had finished doing the dishes, he still hadn't replied. My initial thought of thinking that he might have accidentally brought it soon disappeared. I started to think that he was doing it on purpose. That he had stolen it, and not just intended to borrow it.
No matter how I tried to make reasons for him, running through a different type of scenario, it still didn't sit well with me. If he had it, then why hadn't he said something before this? It had been a week since we had been at my parents' house. Had he taken it when we had been there? Or did he wait until I'd left before he procured it? The million-dollar question remained unanswered: why? Why had he taken it? What was so special about that key? What secrets had he been holding from me? This couldn't be the only secret he'd been keeping from me.
All of a sudden, I had the urge to get out of my room. Out of the packhouse. I needed to get some fresh air. So I rushed downstairs and nearly bumped into Ryker who was on his way upstairs.
It only took him one look at my face and he could tell that something wasn't right. "You're not fine." It was a statement rather than a question. His hand found mine and he gave me a little tug. "Come on."
He brought us downstairs and through the front door. We only stopped for two minutes to put on our shoes then we kept going, walking down the porch and into the forest. "Wait, where are you taking me?"
Ryker looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. Not just his usual smile, this smile was genuine and spread warmth all over my body. "Somewhere that will make you feel better."
Despite everything else, I found myself laughing at his reply. "I doubt such a place exists."
"Oh, it does."
Blindly, having zero clue where we were heading, I trusted him. I retraced every step that he took, relying completely on him even though my common sense told me that I should bolt and run. Then he suddenly stopped and pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket. "I am going to put this on you."
"Seriously?" I glanced at the handkerchief and then gave him a pointed look.
A smile formed on his lips again. "Yes. Seriously."
With a sigh, I turned around and closed my eyes. I could feel the silky fabric loosely on my eyelids and my temple before he tightened the knot.
He turned me around to face him. Or face somewhere. I wasn't sure and I certainly had not expected this fabric to be so blinding. "Can you see me?" he asked softly. His breath brushed my forehead.
I let out a nervous giggle. "Well, what do you think?"
He held my hand and this time, he was walking rather slowly and even blindfolded, I could feel his eyes on me every now and then, checking and making sure that I didn't accidentally bump into anything or hurt myself. Then at last, after a rather long walk, we had finally arrived and he undid the blindfold. Not surprisingly enough at the lake with a waterfall. Except that this time, there were lights on the trees around it, making the waterfall, the lake, and its surroundings look enchanting.
I shook my head, laughing, as he brought me to the same rock that I'd sat on the day I'd been here, where Dmitry had found me. "I should have known you'd bring me here." I looked at him and bit my smile.
He leaned down and placed his hands on each side of my face. "Don't look at me. Look at the waterfall. And don't think about anything. Just watch the water from above falling to the lake and the simplicity of it." He dropped his hands and then urged me to look at the waterfall and I did.
Following his advice, I simply let myself enjoy the view instead of overanalyzing it or having my thought wander elsewhere which was what had happened the first time I'd been here. I took a deep breath and smelled the water and the flowers that grew on the edges of the lake. I took everything in and for once, I was grateful that I was alive. I had never thought about living or dying, I'd been focusing on facing each day as it came and I forgot that I was not going to live forever. That my time on Earth was limited.
I felt something cold touching my cheek and realized that Ryker had lightly touched the chilled glass of wine on my right cheek. I laughed seeing his gesture. "So was this your plan after all? Getting me drunk and going all romantic on me." I shook my head and my laughter became bigger when I saw the appalled look on his face. I accepted the glass of white wine and took a small sip. "Just to be clear, I am too smart to be seduced by you," I teased him.
"I am not trying to seduce you," he said with a low chuckle as he took the seat on the rock opposite mine. "I just thought," he paused and looked slightly hesitant.
I tilted my head to one side and toss my sandy-colored hair over one shoulder. "Thought what?"
His eyes softened as they met mine. "I just thought that you've gone through a lot today."
My breath got caught in my throat and that was the only thing preventing me from responding to his words.
If he noticed my lack of response, he didn't show it as he continued, "Xyrra, I know that you believe you need to know the truth, and when it comes to my brother, I do have the same belief. However, you should take it one step at a time because things that you will find out might be the things you wish you didn't know." Ryker brushed my hair and tucked them behind my ear. "And for the things you learned today, do not take anything at face value. Some may be the truth, some may not be."
I realized that he didn't want me to dwell on what Adelina had said. He wanted me to be strong and not easily believed everything I learned. And in those silver eyes that looked too pretty to be wasted on a guy, I saw concern and something else, almost like affection. But that could not be true, right? We had only been hanging out for two or three weeks now and before that, we had been strangers. There was no way he could have feelings for me, right? It should be impossible.
Hell, I hadn't even exerted that much effort to seduce him!
Before I was drowned in those silver eyes, I tore my eyes away from him and looked at the waterfall again, hoping that it would slowly calm my heartbeat. After a few minutes, it had done the trick. Sipping my wine, I looked out at the lake shimmering in the light from small lights hanging on the trees.
"Beautiful," he said.
"It is," I agreed, but when I turned to look at him, I realized that he was looking at me.
* * *
Then this time when our eyes finally locked for the second time, I knew there was no turning back, there was no stopping what would happen. I was not sure whether his mouth came down on mine or I was the one seeking out his but in a split second, our lips met and nothing else mattered. His lips were gentle against mine. A hint of tongue glided out against my mouth. I moved my mouth with his lead, hands wrapping around his neck, pulling myself into him. A rumble deep inside of him shook me and I realized that I too was shaking. I could not get close enough as we stood, wine glasses crashed on the ground, and completely forgotten, I rubbed against the part that made me quiver. He gave out a moan, biting softly on my bottom lip.
He made a sound in his throat, the pressure of his hands slackening, his fingers caressing where they had gripped. His mouth began to move hungrily on mine. Then I realized that I'd never been kissed this way by any other male, not even Eros when he had been teaching me how to seduce Ryker. Yes, Alpha Ryker Cromwell kissed me almost as though we were already lovers, and the sounds he was making against my mouth were a mixture of anguish and need. He wanted me. Badly. I felt it in the aroused movement of his body against mine. His hand that was on my hip slipped underneath my shirt, and his palm, so smooth, traces my ribs resting just under my bra line. I moaned into him. This felt beyond what I'd ever thought was possible. Lips against lips, his tongue tasting mine, hand running down my spine, feeling every vertebra. Cupping my arse, he pressed himself into me. His other hand was at the base of my neck, my hair tangling in his fingers. His mouth captured my moans in his, the friction of him rubbing into my core leaving me panting.
I waited until he stopped. Until he took a step back and told me that he couldn't do it. Just like how our kiss had ended last time and yet he didn't. His lips, his hands, all of him was still tasting me and they all seemed to be wanting more and more with each passing second. This time, again unlike last time, I was the one who took a step back.
Ryker opened his eyes and those silvery eyes were filled with lust and desire. But once he blinked, I could see understanding shone in there too. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," he started to apologize but I silenced him with another kiss. A simple one, not as toe-curling as the previous one but it did the job of silencing him.
"Don't be," I whispered against his lips before taking a step back and truly walking away this time.
Although I had been the one walking away first, Ryker managed to catch up with me and fall into steps beside me. Thankfully, he did not mention the kiss or anything and we talked about random stuff like our hobbies, favorite books, and things that we liked to do during the holidays. He mentioned the thing that his family had done every new year, they would go around a bonfire and they would tell stories. The elderly members of the pack would tell some warrior stories. Ryker mentioned how he had been bored out of his mind at that time but soon once that tradition was no longer here, he missed it.
He didn't just miss the pack warrior stories, but he missed the gathering of people. The atmosphere conveyed their togetherness, that each of them was a member of the pack and each of them had their own role. Even though Ryker didn't say it out loud, I had no doubt that he missed his father and his mother. It wouldn't be as easy as admitting that he'd been missing his sister because his pride would only allow so much but even staring at his silver eyes as he told these stories could tell me the truth. At that moment, my heart truly ached for him. Despite everything else, I could feel his pain. I was not sure what kind of fallout had happened within his family, with his brother's tragic death, and all the drama but I felt bad for him.
If what I'd heard from the others had been right, Ryker had been the second son, the one who enjoyed living life to the fullest. He had never thought that he would be replacing his brother and becoming the Alpha. He had been born knowing that the whole Alpha and leading the pack thing was his brother's responsibility and all of a sudden, they were all being thrust upon his lap. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled when he looked at me. He returned my smile, obviously not knowing what went through my head. Then by the time we'd reached my bedroom, he swung the door open for me and then planted a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Good night, Love," he breathed out. His eyes were kind.
I, on the other hand, rolled my eyes at him at the endearment that I had once told him to never use on me. "You know I remember telling you to never call me that." I put my hand on my hip and pretended to give him a disapproving look a teacher would give to a naughty student. "You can call other girls that but not me. Call me by my name."
Ryker smirked, the corner of his lips tugged into a charming smile. "I only reserve this one for you."
"Really?" I lifted my eyebrows and gave him a pointed look. "I find that rather hard to believe, Alpha Ryker."
His knuckles brushed my cheek in a soft caress as he said, "Believe it, Love." Then without saying another word, he turned around and started walking toward his own bedroom. I watched his back for a few seconds before closing my bedroom door and heading toward the bed.
After going out all day today, I realized how much I missed my bed as soon as my body landed on its soft padding. "Ah, this is nice," I told myself as I drifted to sleep.
Or at least, I wished I was sleeping and being left alone to rest. Instead, I was being pulled into yet another dream. Unlike the other dreams that I'd had today, this one was different. I was not a child and I wasn't at my parents' house. I was exactly where I was. In my bedroom, on top of my mattress. Everything was different except the fact that her palms were still oozing with that red smoke. I frowned as I looked down at it and quickly tried to wake myself up. If this would be another dream of my palms being a vacuum cleaner then I didn't need to see it again. I shook my head, trying to reach for my consciousness.
After trying several times and failing miserably, I finally gave up and swung my legs over my bed, and rose to my feet. Damn, this dream was good because even the floor felt like it was real. I twirled my wrists, wondering how I got these red smokes off of me. Then I started moving my fingers and something happened when the tip of my middle finger almost touched my thumb. The Book of the Damned which I had placed on the coffee table flew towards me. Before it hit my face, I put my hand up. I thought the book would knock my palm instead it did not. It kept floating in the air like magic. I held the book and took a step back before lowering myself down to sit on the side of my bed. Unlike what had happened this afternoon, the book actually had a lock on the side so I couldn't open it.
"Damn it, Er," I grumbled to myself. Until now, I still had no clue why my best friend, the one person I would trust my life with, would do something like this. It was almost like he was trying to hide things from me. And it made me wonder what else he had been trying to sway me away from. I tried to recall what we had done back in the house that day. He had been there with me, rummaging through my parents' stuff. I hadn't paid attention to him because he was Eros for goodness' sake but what if he had taken other things too? Other things and not just this key? My mind started to wonder about the possibilities but I stopped myself before it'd gone too far.
Instead, I told myself that I would meet Eros after school on Monday. I would go to his flat downtown, because that was the place where he would spend most of his weekdays other than my house, of course, then I would ask him face to face. But if he was not there, then I had no choice but to, once again, go to the South. He must have reasons for doing this and I knew he refused to answer me through text messages but I also knew he would tell me if should I ask him directly.
Eros had never been the type to run or to hide so surely he would meet me. Especially if he still cared about me and did not want me to get in trouble with his pack.
'What if he lied?' A small part of me warned me that perhaps The Erebos were not as scary and dangerous as Eros had once told me. 'What if he just told you that to keep you away from his pack, knowing fully well that you will learn more if you are there?' I shook those dangerous thoughts away and decided that I would give my best friend the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was only looking out for me.
Instead, I focused on the book on my lap. I examined its cover and let the tip of my fingers touch the book's spine, tracing every little bump and feeling the fabric. It felt so so real. It did not feel like a dream.
Then as if a bulb inside my head finally lit up, I blinked. I took in my surrounding before my gaze fell on my lap. This was not a dream. This was real. I turned my palm up and was still able to see the red smoke oozing out from my hands. I started to wonder if the sorceress had been telling the truth. Perhaps Adelina had been right, perhaps I had indeed killed my mother.
Because right now staring at these red smokes I could feel its power, and everything suddenly clicked in place. I exactly knew 'how' I had done it. How I had killed my own mother.
* * *
Dear Readers, are you 100% convinced that Xyrra killed her mum?
Also, this banner just pops out on this Story. on OUR STORY!! Should we enter? I'm scared TT~TT