So... I actually managed to write Smut (kinda) XD after my friend constantly begged me and after I eventually said "Fuck it." I've never done this before though. Also, I didn't want it to be like "the perfect first time" or whatever. I want it to be somewhat realistic? And yea anyway you'll see what I mean and now I'm gonna go and hide. And this whole chapter isn't just them having sex though (although mostly it is), it's still an actual chapter too with other things... And this is legit the only reason for this story to be rated mature. XD and maybe the triggering parts as well. And I watched the Teen Wolf trailer and like ugh Thomas Brodie-Sangster needs to be a character that becomes Stiles' love interest just cause logic. And the song attached is the song that shall play when they yea. You'll know. When you get there you should play that song.
A week had passed, and Newt hadn't harmed himself since. The incident a week ago had gotten Thomas to take almost everything sharp he could find, away from Newt. Newt, of course, had freaked out, especially when the other got a hold of his scissors, but he ended up giving in and let Thomas take it all. Besides, he had a feeling of not wanting it anymore. As if doing it one time in front of Thomas, had his body and mind saying enough. He was exhausted to be living like this, so he ended up accepting Thomas' decision, even if it meant parting with his scissors that he'd owned for years now, and always kept close to him.
At the same time though, he constantly found himself not knowing what to do. Before, he would've gotten his scissors out, but now he didn't have that option, and in turn, he was bored. And he ended up smoking so much when he was bored that he was growing sick of that as well. Newt was strange in that sense, never becoming addicted to nicotine, even hating it after having consumed it so often in a day. So, his cigarettes were thrown out, and he made sure Thomas was there when it happened. He hated the look Thomas had given him, that look as if saying that he was proud of Newt. He didn't want anyone being proud of him, he didn't deserve it.
Finding himself constantly bored meant he had a lot of time to rest, and maybe his body needed it, but his mind seemed to work against him with what he should dream when he finally fell asleep. It's not like his dreams of Thomas and him ever really went away, but his mind was consumed in other thoughts that he didn't think much about it anymore. But when he finally had so much time to think, the thoughts were there, and he definitely memorized the details of his dreams a lot better.
Thomas didn't know, he hadn't talked about it with him for a while. Not to mention that Thomas was so happy lately that he barely noticed when something was wrong. He could still read Newt in meticulous detail, but he was also in love with the boy, and that had made him blind. Newt didn't like that, he actually missed the days where Thomas would notice every little thing, even if back then, he'd complain about it and want it to stop. Now, he missed it.
It was like him finally saying I love you had become more of a burden than a blessing. And sure, Newt knew that he meant it when he'd said it to Thomas, but he may've stopped himself from telling the other the truth if he knew that it would make him so infatuated. Often overlooking details that Newt wished he could see. But maybe, Newt didn't make them clear enough. Maybe he had become better at hiding things, and Thomas only noticed the things that were in front of him.
Thomas could still see when something was wrong, or when Newt was sad, angry, or anything, but it was like Newt had locked a part of him away that Thomas could once access, now no longer visible. And Thomas couldn't understand why, he felt like Newt had made immense progress, but maybe the things that he'd let go were also the things holding him back. Because now, he only had a select few secrets left, and while they were open for Thomas to see before, they were now gone, because Newt wanted to hold on to that little bit of him he still had. He'd already lost so much of himself trying to be better, that he wanted to keep some of the things he was still familiar with. And they may've not been good things, but they were who Newt was, or still, partly, is. Losing those few things wasn't an option.
He kept it hidden, but blamed it on the other. As if saying that Thomas was too in love to notice, would help. As if saying that it wasn't him, it was Thomas being blind. But it really was Newt, it was always Newt that would lock himself away with no access to a key. And Thomas tried to do something about it, but it became harder the more he got to know Newt. Newt seemed so far away from his reach that he barely knew what to do anymore.
Another thing that Newt tried to keep hidden, was a thought that crossed his mind when he'd dreamt of him and Thomas together. Or, he'd thought about it after he'd woken up. And now it was consuming him and taking up every thought he could think of. It would always find a way back in. He'd started to believe that he wanted to have sex with Thomas, and he had no idea why because less than a year ago, the thought of losing his virginity had never even crossed his mind. He didn't want to lose it when he didn't care about the person.
But he cared about Thomas, and maybe his body was telling him that he should give this one thing to the other. But his mind seemed to work differently from what his body told him, holding him back from taking that one single step. However, the more days passed, the more uncomfortable he seemed to grow as he seemed to want it more and more. He'd grown this want for the other being intimate with him that he could barely think straight anymore. And while the thought still scared him, he grew seemingly more uncomfortable not doing anything about it.
So, he found himself in Thomas' Jeep in the passengers seat, shuffling around as his thoughts took control over him. And Thomas would glance over at him every now and then when he could, just to see how the other was doing. Newt would smile, trying to assure the other that it really was nothing, but at one point he couldn't take it anymore. He looked out the window, seeing that they were driving past the woods. It had been raining all day, water sliding down the windows of the car, but not before hitting them loudly. But he liked to think of it as relaxing, and now all he really needed was music.
He looked through the compartment in front of him, finding a few CD's that he could play, and he settled on an EP by The Neighbourhood. Newt liked this band, and he was a little surprised to find Thomas owning a CD by them, but he nevertheless played it. Closing his eyes, he tried to distract himself, but the music, the rain, and Thomas' presence beside him became too overwhelming and he knew that he couldn't wait anymore. He needed Thomas right now. And he didn't care that they were half an hour away from either of their homes.
Newt turned his body towards Thomas, gaining the others attention, who quickly looked over at the blonde before turning to the road.
"Something wrong, Newt?" Newt bit his lip, unsure of how to answer, leaving the other more confused than he already was.
"Well, I've been thinking a bit." Thomas nodded, telling him to go on with what he was going to say, and Newt did.
"I want you, Tommy." Thomas chuckled, and now it was Newt's turn to be confused.
"You already have me, Newt." Newt sighed, of course the other wouldn't get it. He was a year younger anyway.
"I don't mean it like that." Thomas looked at Newt again, slightly unsure of what the other still meant.
"What do you mean?"
"Remember those dreams I had of us?"
"Yea, where we... Oh." Newt waited for Thomas to continue speaking, to say something else, but all he did was pull over and stop the car.
"Newt, are you sure?" Newt nodded quickly as a response.
"It's been on my mind for about a week now. I don't want to wait any longer than I have to. Please."
"Y-you know that it might hurt? A lot. And it's probably gonna be really uncomfortable."
"I don't care. Please Tommy." And there was no way that Thomas could say no to that, letting his lips linger right before the others for a little while. But at that point they both wanted more, and Thomas left a kiss on Newt's lips, receiving an instant response. The kiss was sweet, and held a great amount of love that they both gave into it. It was tender, not as rough as the kisses they usually shared.
But they both couldn't stay in the front of the car, there was too little space for them to work with, so Newt pulled away to step out into the rain, quickly becoming drenched, his clothes sticking to his body, his hair sticking to his face. He knew that Thomas was doing the same as him when he heard the other door open and shut, but he hadn't expected Thomas to flip him around as he was about to move the front seat to get into the back. Their lips were pulled together into another kiss, and Thomas lifted Newt up and pressed him up against the car.
But them kissing quickly got out of hand as Thomas licked Newt's lower lip and bit down on it, earning a moan from the other as he quickly slipped his tongue inside. Newt let him take control over the kiss, because he wasn't that experienced using his tongue anyway. He wasn't that experienced in any of this actually, and that started to make him nervous as he weaved his fingers into Thomas' hair, lightly tugging on it.
"Don't you think we should go into the car? The rain is making me freeze." Thomas agreed, setting Newt down and stepping into the backseat first, waiting for Newt to follow, which he did, closing the door behind him.
"The music's still on." Thomas shrugged as Newt sat on the others thighs, inching closer to Thomas' stomach. Thomas glanced up at him when Newt suddenly rolled his hips onto Thomas', and the other moaned at the unexpected movement Newt had done.
"Let it be on." Newt nodded, starting to crave Thomas more and more by the minute, wanting him like he was his prey that he needed to survive. So, he bit his lower lip, intertwining their fingers as he looked downwards, Thomas doing the same with wide eyes. The blonde had his lips close to the others cheek, looking up at him whilst Thomas still looked down. When he looked up again, Newt could see the lust clouding his vision, and he knew then that Thomas wanted him as much as he wanted Thomas.
Thomas' hands were shaking as he grabbed a hold of the bottom of Newt's shirt, holding onto it before slipping his fingers underneath the fabric. The cold hands on Newt's stomach made him shiver, but he liked it, a certain warmth growing in his lower abdomen by the minute.
Thomas hesitantly unbuttoned Newt's shirt, removing it completely and throwing it somewhere in the front of the car. He interlocked their lips again, this time being a lot more sloppy as he got lost in Newt. The blonde was still straddling the others waist, but Thomas had full control over everything as he went to unbutton Newt's jeans. He didn't remove them, letting them stay on the others body as Newt moaned again, pulling Thomas' shirt off and throwing it to the side.
And then Newt suddenly seemed to have the control as he trailed light kisses down onto Thomas' chest, feeling the others gentle skin with his fingers as his nerves slowly started to make him shake. He nibbled on Thomas' skin before kissing over the marks he'd left and going back to catch the other boys lips again.
He let out a gasp when Thomas touched his inner thigh with his hands, moving further up to where the zipper of Newt's jeans was down. He rubbed circles with his thumb onto the others clothed thighs, and the blonde was going crazy as he closed his eyes and bit his lip. Newt moaned, squirming around as his jeans made him grow uncomfortable.
"Tommy." He breathed out, Thomas looking up at him with such innocent eyes, but they both knew better than that.
And that's when Thomas sat back up, laying Newt down before he climbed on top of him. There was barely any space for them to move as they were both over six feet in the backseat of a small car, but they worked with it, and maybe the tight space did them a favor.
Thomas let his fingers trail up and down Newt's chest, nervousness radiating off of both of them as they were almost equally clueless. He eventually settled his hands right above the other's jeans, playing with the button for a bit as he thought. Newt's heart was beating out of his chest at this point, and he grew more and more unsure every minute as he contemplated on telling Thomas to stop. But he didn't.
"Can I? Take your jeans off I mean." Newt furiously nodded his head to confirm that it was okay, and his jeans were quickly removed and put to the side. He pulled Thomas back up to him so that he could have their lips touch again, pressing their bodies together in the process. Newt bucked his hips, a loud moan leaving both their lips as the friction that came along with it, slowly became painful. He pressed their bodies together again, and if they could've gotten any closer at this point, it would've only been through molding their bodies together.
Newt removed his hands that he had had on Thomas' back, trailing them down to the others jeans as he tried to unbutton them whilst still kissing Thomas. It failed to work though as he continuously struggled, and eventually he started laughing and pulled away from the kiss, Thomas laughing with him and taking a hold of Newt's hands that were still gripping onto Thomas' pants.
"Your jeans hate me." The other just rolled his eyes.
"Let me do it." He sat up with the lower part of his legs touching the seat beneath him, the rest of his body standing up as he unbuttoned them, taking barely any time at all, and Newt reached up to remove them completely off of Thomas' body. He pushed himself up against Thomas again while Thomas grabbed a hold of his waist, both of them moaning against each other's lips.
Their almost naked bodies were warm, and they held onto each other tightly as Newt went down with his slender fingers again to play with the waistband of Thomas' boxers, slipping his fingers inside as he pulled on them. Thomas moaned into the kiss as a response, having to pull away but nevertheless keeping their foreheads together. Newt bit his lip, anxiously waiting for what was next as Thomas pushed him back down onto the seats, colliding with his head against them and looking up at the other boy with such an innocent look that no one else would believe that he was actually doing something like this.
Thomas grabbed a hold of Newt's knees, pulling them apart and spreading the others legs, crawling between them as he looked down. He kissed Newt as he started to pull down the blondes briefs, eventually having to pull away from the kiss completely to remove them from Newt's body. Newt tried to pull his legs back together as he was embarrassed feeling this exposed to someone, even if they'd seen each other naked before, but Thomas wouldn't let him do much of that as he stopped the older boy.
He kissed Newt's inner thigh slowly, holding Newt's body down by his hips with his hands. He went upwards, eventually hovering right over the beginning of Newt's erection. Newt thought that he'd stop there, not go any further than that, but he was mistaken as Thomas licked his lips and suddenly took all of him in. Newt wriggled around and started gasping for air, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace at whatever Thomas was doing to him. And Thomas was doing a lot of things, his tongue doing most of the work as the blonde went crazy, and he was unable to keep quiet as he moaned louder than he'd intended to.
He almost felt like he'd been constricted of any air, but at the same time, it felt so good and unusual to him that he didn't want it to stop.
"Oh my god, Tommy." Newt shut his eyes, trying not to scream as he bit down on his lips and dug his nails into the fabric underneath him. When Thomas pulled away, his lips were slightly swollen as he glanced back up to meet Newt's eyes, and Newt just pulled him into a kiss. Thomas still had one leg between Newt's, and he took one of his hands to lightly stroke the tip of Newt's hard on.
"How are you so good at this?" Thomas chuckled, unsure of how to answer because he himself had never done this before either. And both of them knew that, but Newt had no idea how that could be possible when Thomas was capable of leaving him breathless within seconds of what he was doing.
And then Thomas leaned down again, sucking on the others hips before gently biting down on them, and Newt decided in that moment that that was his new favorite thing that Thomas did.
"Do that again." Thomas obliged, nipping and sucking on the pale skin by Newt's hipbone until Thomas went back up to his lips, kissing Newt while trailing his hands along Newt's inner thigh again, and Newt bit down on Thomas' bottom lip as a response.
"Newt." He moaned, and Newt chuckled, the vibrations going through both of them.
Shortly after though, Newt became scared as this all seemed so real to him. He was really gonna give himself up to Thomas, something he'd never dreamed of doing before. He started to tremble more and more, letting out a whimper as Thomas pulled away.
"Are you okay, Newt?" Newt didn't know what to respond with. He'd be more honest if he were to shake his head, but then he was worried that Thomas might stop, and he didn't want him to stop.
"Nervous." He admitted. Thomas smiled at him, trying to get him to calm down.
"I'm nervous too, you know?"
"You don't look nervous."
"But I am anyway. However, we'll both be okay. And if you want me to stop, I'll stop." Thomas reassuring him that everything would be okay, helped, and he nodded and let Thomas continue with whatever he was doing. Thomas held out two fingers to Newt, and Newt gave him a confused and unsure look.
"Lick."
"Why do I have to lick your fingers?"
"Because that's all we have to work with in this car." So, Newt did what he said, but he was still clueless on why he had to do that.
He figured it out as soon as Thomas entered one finger inside of him. It felt strange, and it was uncomfortable for him. He didn't like it one bit, but he figured out that it was a part of making it less painful later.
Eventually, Thomas added another finger, and at this point in time, Newt was ready to just get up and leave. He didn't enjoy this anymore. His nervousness came back, he was worried, and having someone else finger him wasn't exactly giving him a feeling of wanting more. Newt wanted them out of his body, but he didn't say that.
He was relieved when Thomas pulled out of him, removing his own boxers as Newt got his breathing back to a steadier pace. One more step and this would be done with. Newt wasn't even sure if he'd like it anymore after having experienced that. He wanted pleasure, and so far he hadn't gotten much of it through this.
Thomas kissed Newt's hips, biting down on them again as Newt's excitement came back. This was something he liked. It was still weird, but it wasn't uncomfortable, and he liked the feeling it gave him. All too soon though, Thomas pulled his lips away, repositioning himself on top of Newt as he held himself up by the window behind the other. With no warning at all, Thomas thrust into Newt, and Newt screamed out in surprise and shock. He felt pain and pleasure mixed into one, but Thomas took it as if he'd hurt Newt, and he immediately pulled out and stopped completely to make sure that his boyfriend was okay.
"Don't stop." Thomas didn't say anything, trying to make sure that Newt really meant it, and really wasn't hurt. If he hurt Newt, he'd upset himself and wouldn't be able to continue, so he had to make sure.
"I'm okay. Really." Thomas nodded, still slightly unsure if what Newt was saying, was true.
Once he was sure that Newt was fine, he slowly went back in, moving at a steady pace. First it hurt, and Newt let small whimpers of pain leave his body as he wanted to cry. Tears threatening to spill over as Thomas kissed the corner of his eyes lightly.
"It's okay." He whispered, and Newt believed him.
Eventually, his whimpers were replaced with small moans as he started to grow used to the feeling of something moving inside of him. And then Thomas moved a bit quicker in pace and Newt started panting, closing his eyes and letting the nickname he had for Thomas, leave his lips countless times.
"Faster." Thomas did what he said, now resting his hands on Newt's hips as he quickened the speed. Their hips hitting one another every time Thomas went further in. At one point, an indescribable amount of pleasure shot through Newt and he reached to dig his nails into the others back, scraping the skin and leaving them both a moaning mess. He was sure he'd leave marks on the others back from this, but when Thomas kept hitting that same spot over and over again, he couldn't take it, digging his nails further and further into the others skin as pleasure went through both of them.
It eventually felt so good that Newt arched his back into it, trying to have Thomas go faster by moving up as the other moved down. Then he closed his eyes as a warmth built up inside of him, something he was unfamiliar with.
"Open your eyes Newt. I want you to look at me." And Newt listened, opening his shimmering brown eyes before screaming out the other boys name as he climaxed, Thomas soon following before collapsing besides Newt as they both tried to get their breathing back to normal.
Thomas had dreamt countless times of Newt screaming his name and moaning beneath him, but he'd never imagined it to feel this good, and Newt was thinking the same thing as Thomas lazily draped his arms over the other, pulling Newt's back against his own bare chest.
Newt took a hold of the others hand in front of him, intertwining their fingers and observing them with the little light that the outside still gave in this type of weather. Thomas smiled, leaving light kisses on Newt's shoulder blade as Newt turned his head to look at him.
"I love you." Thomas responded with a kiss, the other melting into it quickly as he turned around fully, wanting to stay here forever if he could. Normally, Thomas would be the first to say I love you, but now it was Newt, surprising both of them, but nevertheless leaving them in indescribable happiness.
The music had stopped playing, and all that could be heard was their rapid breathing as they were both still trying to get it back to normal, proving to be difficult as they were exhausted and a mess, lying with their legs entangled in each other.
"I should get you home." Newt sighed, knowing that it was true.
"I want to stay here with you."
"I want that too." Newt sat up first, pulling his boxers back on and handing Thomas' over to him, who put them on as well.
"Where did you throw my shirt?" Thomas shrugged before gesturing towards the front, and Newt looked over the seat to find his shirt lying there, crumpled up.
"Found them."
"Fantastic. Did you find my jeans?" Thomas said as he pulled his shirt back on, Newt buttoning his up as he looked in the front again.
"What is this? A treasure hunt?" Thomas laughed, wrapping his arms around the other as he continued to look, holding up a pair of jeans a few second later.
"These are yours I believe." Thomas took them from him, Newt continuing to look for his own jeans before Thomas handed them to him. When they were both completely dressed again, they climbed into the front, proving to be difficult due to their height, but it worked eventually.
"I just realized that I didn't say I love you back earlier."
"Kissing me proved that you did. I always feel loved when you kiss me." Thomas smiled, holding the others hand as he started to drive back to Newt's again.
"I really don't want to go home." Thomas sighed.
"I know."
"I kinda like being in the Jeep with you. Right at the edge of the woods. No one else is really here. And I like it when it's just us, and all we're focused on is each other."
"We can drive around more often if you want. I kinda like it too." Newt nodded, removing the CD from the CD player and putting it back into the right case.
"I think I'd really like that." Newt leaned against the window, watching the trees pass and the raindrops racing down the window as it was completely silent otherwise, and he knew that everything he'd wanted and needed was right beside him.
No one speak to me over what I just did. I'm going to hide. And yes their height is different in this story than in real life. Just work with me here.