Josh's POV
I had the oddest mixture of satisfaction and misery. I was more than glad to know I had Lynna, but I felt miserable without her. Everything inside of me wanted to stay with her, stayed wrapped up in her. I didn't know how I was supposed to not see her, it seemed impossible to last like that.
"Josh, how are you holding up?" Jake asked, sliding into a spot beside me.
"I'm fine." I said, giving a smaller smile. Jake just looked at me, a knowing look.
"You don't look fine." He said. "You barely let go of her, you can't say you're 'fine.'"
"Well, maybe I'm not, but what am I supposed to do about it? I can't go to her." I said, not feeling like the most energetic person. There was a sluggish feeling in my bones, moving felt out of the question. "I wish I could go to her."
"It's not the best situation, I know, but you can still call her, talk to her." Jake offered, trying to help.
"She's asleep right now." I said. "I apologize for acting so 'bleak.' I want to be with her right now. It just doesn't feel right to leave after something like that, you're supposed to be with each other, enjoying the newfound bliss."
"I know what you mean. You two spend so much time together, you should rightfully be together right now." Jake said, agreeing. "But, at least when you see each other again, it'll be so much sweeter. You'll appreciate what you have a lot more."
"No offense, Jake, but I'd rather just have her with me." I smiled. "I see what you're saying, though."
"I'm just glad you told her. I couldn't of imagined how much you would've complain." He teased.
"Now, I'm going to complain about the fact that I told her, and left her, now I feel like my life has a void." I said. "Sounds dramatic, but it is fairly accurate."
"I think that's better than regret." He said. "She's worth feeling that way for, right?"
"Mhm-hm." I hummed. "She's worth every last part of it." I would do it over and over again if it meant I be with her. The moments we had were enough to be worth the insufferable moments. I longed for her, if I would've let her pass by, I would've regretted it forever.
"This will all be worth it. And besides, we're going to see her again. Maybe a couple weeks." Jake said, thinking that would help.
"Weeks? Do you hear how that sounds?" I laughed, trying not to even think about it.
"Oh, you're going to be just fine, Josh." He said, shaking his head. "You guys are going to be fine."
"I know." I smiled, letting out a small sigh. "I'll be fine when I talk to her some more, not in a rush to get everything out like earlier."
"Talk to her all you want, all we have is time." Jake said. "Just, don't do it around Sammy, he might get a bit upset."
"Why?" I laughed, looking to Sammy confused.
"Him and Frankie." Jake said. That was all he really needed to say, I got the message. I nodded, feeling a bit pitiful for Sam, and myself of course.
I couldn't stop thinking about the wasted time. If I would've told her, even a few hours sooner, we could've had so much more time. All I had to go off was the last few hours, which was not much to begin with. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, anything was better than this. I was going to feel miserable until I could see her again.
Lynna, the dearest
I'm finally awake
Are you still on the plane?
I had never felt so relieved to hear my phone go off.
We just got to our hotel :)
I'm calling you
I'm too lazy to text
She was true to her word, my phone almost immediately vibrating. I smiled to myself, excited to talk to her.
"I'm gonna go walk around for a bit." I announced to them on my way out the door. I didn't really listen to the answers, more eager to answer Lynna.
"Hey." I greeted, hoping she could feel the dumb smile on my face.
"Hello." She responded, cheerily. "How was the flight?"
"I was asleep for most of it." I said. "How did you sleep?"
"Pretty good, actually. Who would've thought that would happen after getting waken up at 3 am?" She asked, making me laugh a bit.
"I would say I'm sorry, but I don't regret it." I said. "Not even one bit."
"I don't regret it either." She said, there was a silence for a moment, both of us reflecting on what had happened. "Is it stupid to say I miss you?"
"I don't think so, considering I miss you too." I said. "I wish I could've stayed longer."
"You should've come over earlier." She said. "Can I ask, what made you change your mind so abruptly?"
"I'm not sure what exactly made me rush over to your apartment." I said, shrugging as if she could see it. "I think I realized that if I didn't do it right then, I probably would've regretted it for the whole tour."
"We would've both been regretful." She said.
"Why didn't you say anything before?" I asked. "Could you not tell I wanted you to?"
"I didn't want to ruin anything." She answered after a moment. "I was worried we wouldn't figure anything out, and you'd have to leave. I didn't want to screw up everything for you."
"If you would've told me, I wouldn't have even thought twice." I said. There was an odd feeling, thinking about how things could've played out differently. "You don't even understand how much I wanted you to like me."
"So, we would've hurt each other by trying to spare each other?" She asked.
"Basically." I agreed, the statement was pretty accurate. "Do you think that's a blessing or curse?"
"Both." She answered. There was another silence, it was a comfortable one. Simply knowing I was on the phone with her, it made me feel a little better. "You had to of known I liked you."
"Not really, to be honest." I said. "I didn't want to get my hopes up and embarrass myself."
"Josh, how are you that oblivious?" She laughed. "What about all the times at my apartment?"
"Which times?" I asked, curious to what she was referring to.
"Just...everything. Do you not realize you are the only man that has stayed at my place overnight?" She asked.
"Hm, I knew you were always a bit too eager for me to come over." I smiled, teasing her.
"I don't seem to remember you insisting on going home." She said. "If I'm correct, you're the one that wanted to come over at least once a week, so I would, 'make you breakfast.'"
"See? I wasn't that smooth about it, you should've known." I said. "I mean, for fucks sake, Lynna, I brought you to meet my parents."
"Okay, I was a bit suspicious of that." She laughed.
"Exactly." I said. "I think we were both just cowards."
"I think I'm still a coward." She sighed. "I get offered to travel on the road with you, and I don't take it."
"Lynna, don't feel bad about it." I said, her tone making me feel guilty. I had tried so hard to get her to go, I hadn't realized how it might've made her feel. "You have a whole life, I don't expect you to just give it up."
"I know you don't, I just think I should've tried a bit harder." She said. "It really wouldn't have been that big of a deal to miss some work."
"There's no point in dwelling on that." I said. "We're going to see each other either way, there's no question about that."
"I wish I didn't have to wait for that time to come." She said. "It already sucks."
"God, you miss me so much." I teased, feeling rather good about myself.
"I'm going to stop talking." She said, already sounding done with me.
"Well, please, don't do that." I quickly, said, not wanting that to happen. "I live to hear your sweet voice."
"Uh-huh." She hummed, not buying it.
"Lynna, love, don't make me beg again." I said, letting an exhausted tone find my voice. "I would sound rather desperate to the people around me."
"Stop saying things that sound so desperate." She retorted, I knew she was probably smiling on the other end of the phone. The simple thought of her smiling, it was enough to fill me.
"Why not? I can say things like that now." I shrugged, knowing I was going to use every moment of this. She admitted to liking me, she set herself up.
"No, no, that is not how it works." She laughed.
"Oh, yes, that's exactly how it works. You've called me hot, a good kisser, and I almost forgot, you're crazy about me." I listed, making her groan out of annoyance. "And, just everything that happened this morning."
"You act like I did all of that." She said. "I'm not Mr. Shining Knight showing up in the middle of the night, acting like I was going through a crisis."
"I was going through a crisis!" I laughed. "I didn't know what to do about you."
"Oh, god, you're crazy about me." She said, mocking my tone from earlier.
"I mean, I'm not going to deny it, unlike you." I smiled, earning a laugh from her. I couldn't believe I was saying all of this to her, it felt odd. I loved it, but it was different.
We talked on the phone, I don't even know how long. I didn't want to stop talking to her, but I had to, Sammy was evidently growing upset at how long I was taking. It took everything in me to stop talking to her. All I wanted to do was be with her, for as long as physically possible. It is really cruel to have that happen, just to leave and be without her.
She was perfect. There was nothing about her I didn't love, everything about her was pure. It was exciting to think about the things I'd learn about her. I knew her fairly well, but obviously I hadn't learned everything about her. There was so much to do and learn, yet I had to wait until I got to see her again.
I entered the hotel room to see them all looking at me.
"Did you get lost?" Sammy asked, a distasteful tone in his voice.
"No." I responded, not feeling like putting up with his attitude. "What's wrong with you?"
"I want to go eat!" He whined. "We had to wait on you to stop talking to Lynna."
"There's vending machines downstairs." I said, not seeing his dilemma. "You obviously weren't starving."
"Why would I do that when we could all just go out to eat?" He retorted.
"How about you — "
"Okay, guys, how about we just go get something to eat, hm?" Jake intervened, cutting me off. I gave Sammy a bitter look before going silent. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Sam being ornery.
Lynna's POV
Frankie and I were laid out on my couch, mindlessly watching a show she picked out. I had talked to Josh a little while ago, already missing his voice. I still couldn't fathom the fact that all of that happened. Just the mere thought of Josh kissing me, it sent me into a spiral.
I was pulled out of my thought by both of our phones binging. We looked at each other confused, trying to think of why they did that.
"Jake?" She asked, looking to me confused. I opened my phone to read it, there now being a group with Jake and us.
Jake
Josh is already being insufferable, we need to get you two together.
Frankie
What's he doing?
Jake
He already got upset with Sammy.
We both laughed, imagining the moody Josh. He must've had a demeanor switch since we got off the phone, although, he really didn't want to get off the phone. He said something about Sam whining, but I didn't ask questions.
Jake
Please, I have a feeling Sam won't be the only one to feel his wrath.
What do you propose we do?
Frankie
She's just as miserable, so I am willing to do anything
"I hate you." I laughed. "He's going to tell Josh that."
"Maybe it'll make Josh feel better." She shrugged, not sweating it one bit. "It's not like you didn't tell him yourself, I eavesdropped, I almost threw up."
"I would usually argue that, but I truly do not have the energy for it." I said, content with not fighting it. She was right, I was surprised some of those words came out of our mouths. It was truly sweet from my position, but I could see how it would sound for anyone else.
We attempted to figure something out, it being left up to when I could get off work. I was starting to hate that everything revolved around my work. It made me feel like the old men who were slaves to their work. I loved my job, but I felt like everything was up in the air now.
"When you leave and live on the road with all those scrumptious men, do I get to take care of Sergio?" Frankie asked, catching me off guard with the question. She was also using the word 'scrumptious' too much, it was unsettling.
"What makes you so sure I'm going to leave?" I laughed, surprised by how convinced she was.
"Why wouldn't you? Think about it, living on the road with your man, getting free tickets to all sort of festivals, and getting to live your life with no 'rules.'" She said, making it all sound rather nice. "Seriously, I'd trade you spots in a minute."
"Go with me." I said. "You could use Sammy."
"We're not nearly close enough." She said, waving off the thought of it.
"You've gotten rather close, if I remember correctly." I said, causing a slight moment of embarrassment to pass over her face.
"One time." She said, holding up her index finger.
"One time more than me." I shrugged, making her look at me estranged.
"You're not a virgin." She looked so confused, I couldn't help but laugh at her.
"With Josh, stupid!" I laughed.
"Oh, that makes a lot more sense." She sighed. "I mean, from the looks of this morning — "
"Stop, don't finish that." I quickly cut her off, not ready for that teasing just yet. She grew a smirk, waiting for the next opportunity she had.
"Seriously though, don't let this just pass you by." She said. "How often are you going to get this opportunity?"
"I know." I sighed, letting my head fall back. "I just get worried, what if I annoy the boys, what if we came back and I couldn't get my job back, it just seems too risky."
"I'll still have a couch, worst case scenario is you move one door over." She shrugged. "And, I would be a dutiful mother to Sergio."
"Frank, no offense, you gag when you walk by the litter box, even if it has fresh litter. How would you keep it clean?" I asked, knowing her too well. I wasn't being dramatic, she gagged just looking at it sometimes.
"I would get over myself." She said, conveying false confidence. "Besides, the boys love Sergio, couldn't you take him with?"
"A cat going from place to place with a litter box?" I asked, not seeing the pros to it. "Sergio is too pristine for on the road life. He likes a comfortable life."
"Me too." She smiled, looking over to the cat. "But, we don't have to worry about the smaller things, those will be easier to figure out."
"How about we don't worry about any of it, I've had enough new things happen today." I said. She nodded, rising off the couch.
"Only thing I'm worried about is if you have any food." She said, walking to my fridge.
"There's not much, I was planning on going shopping today." I said before she got her hopes up.
"Get up, we're going shopping." She said, already moving to pull me off the couch. I groaned in protest, the last thing I wanted to do was go out. She didn't take no for an answer, forcing me out of my cozy apartment.