Lynna's POV
I was hating every part of my life right now. I would much rather be with the boys right now. I debated simply walking out, but I needed a job. It was already 8:30, and I was barely halfway done.
"Did you feed him?" I asked as I kicked my shoes off.
"Yeah, he wouldn't stop yelling at me, I figured he was hungry." Frankie shrugged. "There's pizza in the fridge."
"Thank god." I said, starving to death. Frankie was staying at my apartment tonight so that we could tell them goodbye. Josh and Jake were going to stop by before they left. I hated thinking about it. I felt like I was just being dramatic, but I couldn't help it.
"It's so stupid they made you work so late." Frankie said.
"I wanted to leave." I mumbled, trying to not talk with my mouth completely full.
"Then leave." She shrugged. "Go with Josh."
"Not you too." I groaned. "It's bad enough with Josh guilt tripping me."
"He's trying to convince me to convince you." She said. "Seriously, he is like dead set on it."
"Trust me, I know. I feel terrible." I said.
"He's so in love with you, he's not even hiding it anymore." She said, giving me an exhausted look. "I mean, you don't even deny it anymore."
"I want to deny it." I smiled.
"No you don't!" She laughed. "You want him to love you, you want him to make out with you."
"You make me sound desperate." I said, feeling weird hearing it aloud.
"Please, call him." She begged. "Don't let him leave without telling him."
"Frank, I can't drop something like that and then make him leave." I said. "Because, I have the strangest feeling he wouldn't want to leave if I did."
"But, he has to leave either way, why not tell him?" Frankie asked, wanting me to just do it.
"I don't want to do that to him." I said, knowing that wasn't all of it. "And, I can't tell him just to not be able to see him."
"You can go to their gigs, I'll even drive you." Frankie offered.
"You just want to see Sammy." I smiled, earning an eye roll from her. "Have you guys even talked since then?"
"Stop trying to change the subject." She said.
"You stop trying to change the subject!" I laughed. Neither of us wanted to talk about our boys, both of us stubborn about it. We spent the next hour going back and forth before finally settling in to sleep.
There was the most annoying, chirping sound ringing through my ears. I wanted it to end, searching the coffee table for my phone. I finally found it, confused why Josh was calling me. I was also confused on where Frankie was, and why I was asleep on the couch.
"Josh?" I answered, worried something was wrong, it was almost 3 a.m.
"Lynna, I'm, uh, I'm outside your door." He stumbled, making me wonder if I heard him wrong.
"Wait, why — why are you outside my door?" I asked, looking to my closed door.
"I, uh, I just really need to talk to you." He said, sounding like he wasn't even sure why he was here.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming." I said, rising off the couch, fighting to unwrap from the blanket. I hung up the phone before opening the door. He was standing there, looking like he hadn't been up long, or never went to sleep. He didn't say anything, I opened the door to let him in.
"What's wrong, Josh?" I asked as he walked by.
"Nothings wrong." He said. Something was obviously wrong, he looked like he had a million thoughts going through his head. "I need to, uh, talk to you."
"Okay..." I trailed, not really sure where this was going.
"I know, I'm acting weird, just bare with me." He said, making me even more confused. We made it to the couch, taking a seat beside each other. He was running his finger over his lip, looking down at the floor.
"As you know, we're about to leave. And, lately, I've just been..." He trailed off once he looked at me, loosing his thoughts. "I need to, uh, I..."
I was growing anxious at the way he wasn't saying anything. I felt like this was rather important, and he was taking too long.
"Oh, fuck it." He groaned, standing up off the couch, startling me a bit. "Lynna, I really fucking like you. I - I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since the other night. I've liked you for way too long. It's driving me crazy knowing I haven't told you yet."
I felt too stunned to even breath. I mean, I kind of knew, but I wasn't expecting it. I looked at him, wordlessly, trying to straighten out my thoughts.
"And — and, I know, it's really lame of me to say this just to leave in a few hours, but I simply couldn't wait. When I kissed you, it took everything in me to not tell you. You're everything I want in a person, Lynna, and I need you to know that." He started again after I didn't say anything. I meant to say something, I was just struggling to find words.
"I...I, uh, really like you too." I said, his face immediately turned. He looked relieved, like he thought I wouldn't like him back. "I like you a lot, actually, probably an unhealthy amount."
"So, you are 'crazy' about me?" He asked, toying with the words from last night.
"Don't ruin it, Josh." I smiled, not wanting to debate that in the moment. "But, yes."
He grew a smile, a mixture of satisfaction and a bit of cockiness. He sat back down beside me, looking to me. Slowly, he reached his hand over, moving a strand of hair from my face. His hand stayed on my cheek, softly caressing it. I prepared myself, feeling the same anxiousness I did the other night. I was tired of waiting, moving towards him. It felt somewhat like last time, but a bit hungrier. It felt so right, I couldn't explain the way it made me feel.
I could've kissed him for eternity, the way it made everything melt around me. His lips were so soft, intoxicating, leaving me needing more.
He pulled away, leaving me a bit confused. He seemed just as hooked as me, still lingering close.
"What's wrong?" I asked, almost a whisper.
"Come with me, Lynna." He said softly. "I don't want to go without you."
"Josh..." I trailed, not knowing how to respond. It seemed so much harder now to say 'no.'
"You said you needed something big, why can't this be enough?" He begged, rubbing his thumb over my cheek.
"Don't get me wrong, this is, uh, pretty important. But, I need some more warning." I said.
"Why not? You've said you wanted to live on the road, you can do it." He asked, his eyes boring into mine. There was a desperate look in his eyes, making me feel guilty all throughout.
"I have a job, I have a cat, my apparemment, Frankie." I listed, wishing I didn't have to deny him this. "I want to go with you. I would love to go with you, but I need to be able to support myself."
"I understand that, Lynna, but I don't want to leave without you. It will be torture to be without you, it feels like all I know at this point is you." He spoke, making me lost in his words. "This, whatever you call this, is too sweet to let go."
"It won't be letting it go. I'll go to your shows, as much as possible." I said. "I don't want to stay here, but I need to, at least for a little bit."
"A little bit?" He smiled, turning his head as if to hear me better. I laughed at his reaction, letting my forehead fall into his. His breath lightly fanned over my face, making me pull myself back to reality.
"Give me some time." I said, barely above a whisper. "Let me get some money saved."
I didn't think it possible, but his grin grew even larger. His lips quickly found mine, pulling me closer to him. An odd mix of soft and hasty, dying to get more and more. The kiss growing deeper by the second, my senses growing hazy.
He started to push towards me, causing us to lean over. My back soon found the couch, Josh hovering over me. He wasn't being pushy, I was glad to let him do whatever. My hands found his hair, managing to bring him closer to me. His hands lightly moved around my waist, sending shivers throughout me. I never thought I could love something as much as I did now. I wanted to do this forever. He was enjoying it as much as me, making small noises.
His hand slowly found the edge of my shirt, his fingers on my bare skin sending shock waves. I had yet to grow used to his touch, leaving me dazed every time. I wanted this to last forever, but of course, nothing can last forever.
"Lynna, what are you — " Josh and I pulled away to see Frankie standing at the hallway, a petrified look on her face. "Holy shit, holy shit!"
I had never felt more embarrassed or caught in the moment. Josh was still over me, his hand obviously in my shirt.
"I fucking knew it!" She said, pointing her finger at him. I shot her a look, wishing her timing wasn't so terrible. "Oh, fuck, go back to...well, I'm leaving now."
She was quick to leave, Josh and I still looking to where she was. I was the first to laugh, making Josh let out his own little chuckle. He collapsed on top of me, barely propping himself up with his arms.
"Why didn't you mention she was here?" He asked, still laughing about it.
"Well, I sort of got caught up in things." I said. "And, I wasn't even sure she was still here."
"Why is she even here?" He asked, looking towards me. His face was so close to mine, I wanted to go back to a few moments ago.
"She wanted to be here for when you guys left." I said.
"You mean she wanted to tell Sammy goodbye?" He smirked. I laughed, shaking my head at just everything in general. So much had just happened in the span of 15 minutes. The fact that Josh was laying on me the way he was, would be enough to send me into a spiral 24 hours ago.
He didn't wait much longer, moving to connect our lips. I couldn't resist, kissing him back. I let it go on for a moment before forcing myself away.
"Josh." I groaned, fighting off his look. "She's probably listening, there's no way she's going back to sleep."
"And?" He asked, not seeing how it affected anything to do with us. I gave him a stubborn look, not wanting to do anything with Frankie so close. He finally gave up, backing up a bit. He started to rise up, but I reached for him before I even realized it. He looked at me confused.
"Can we just...stay like this for a little bit?" I asked nervously, as if he might suddenly change his mind and leave. He gave an overzealous grin, going back to his position. He let his head fall on my chest, letting his arms fall beside him. I lightly wrapped my arms around his neck and head area, holding onto him as long as I could. Knowing that he truly liked me, as much as I liked him, was the most comfortable feeling ever.
"I need to get back, finish getting ready." He said, finally pulling from me. "Although, I really wish I didn't have to."
"Why did you wait so long to kiss me?" I asked, feeling bitter for the time we could've had.
"Why did you wait so long?" He asked, making me playfully roll my eyes. "C'mon, go to the apartment with me."
"Are you sure?" I asked, not knowing what help I'd be.
"Of course." He smiled. "You can even bring Frankie."
"Wouldn't that be awkward for her and Sammy?" I asked, wondering how that would go.
"She deserves it at this point." He said, referring to the moment from earlier. I smiled as he got up, reaching his hands out for mine. He pulled me up, not breaking apart just yet. He pulled me against him, connecting our lips again. His hands stayed on my hips, holding me as if I would run away.
We finally pulled apart, only because we needed to leave.
"I don't think I can ever get sick of kissing you." He smiled, his eyes looking over my face. There was a different look in his eyes now, almost like when we first met. Like he was eager to learn, eager to experience as much as possible.
I went to get Frankie, she was awake, as I had suspected. She was itching to talk about what had happened, but it would just have to wait. We walked with Josh to their apartment, him quick to hold my hand. I was nervous for Jake's reaction, really, all of their reactions.
We entered the apartment, the smell of coffee already flowing. Jake was quick to find us in the living room, looking to Josh expectantly. Josh simply held up our connected hands, making me feel once again embarrassed.
"Thank fucking god!" Jake laughed. "I knew you liked each other."
"Everybody knew, Jake." Frankie said. "They were the only ones that didn't."
"At least they realized it, took them long enough." Jake said, making us laugh.
"At least you didn't walk in on them five seconds away from — " I kicked the back of Frankie's leg, not allowing her to finish that sentence.
"They were what?" Jake asked, wanting to hear the rest of it. Frankie gave me a smirk, only making me want to shove her. I did shove her.
We joked around for a bit, Josh and I being the topic of discussion. I was nervous for Sammy and Danny's reactions later on.
At the moment, I was sitting on Josh's bed as he packed up last minute things. I was simply watching him walk back and forth, enjoying the moment.
"Will you check in on our apartment every once in a while? Make sure there's nothing giving out or something like that?" He asked.
"Of course." I smiled. He sent a smile back before digging through his closet. It was funny seeing him preparing like this, he wasn't usually like this. You could tell he was nervous for the upcoming events.
He made his way over to me, finding a spot in front of me. He leaned over, connecting us again. I couldn't help but let out a giggle at how much he was kissing me. He was taking advantage of every chance he had.
"Sam and Danny are here!" Jake announced, breaking us apart.
"I guess we better greet them." Josh sighed, pulling me with him. Sammy and Danny both looked like they wished to be back in bed. Except, that did not stop them from giving us surprised looks when Jake announced the news.
Danny just looked proud, Sammy a bit thrown off, but proud as well. I was still very embarrassed, trying to get used to how they all 'knew.' Jake kept smiling at me, obviously glad his brother did it.
The time ticked closer and closer to their departing in time, hitting me harder than it should've. I didn't want him to leave, I wanted to go with. I hated how I felt.
I did notice Sammy and Frankie talking to each other, too quiet for anyone else to hear. I only hoped they were getting some closure, not flirting. Or maybe they needed to flirt, I'm not sure.
We helped the boys turn off everything and bring their bags down to their car. Josh was trying to pull me to him, not wanting to let go. I told the rest of the boys goodbye, giving them soft hugs.
When it was time for Josh, I wanted to cry. I was already overwhelmed and it wasn't even seven o'clock. He held my hips as he looked at me wordlessly.
"I'm going to miss you, so much." He whispered, his words seeming to linger in the air.
"I'm going to miss you too." I said, attempting a smile. I felt like I was being dramatic about all of this, but I felt terrible. I was going to go from seeing Josh almost every other day, to not seeing him for possible weeks on end.
He pulled me towards him, wrapping his arms around me. I held him, trying to remember exactly how this felt. I could get lost in him, the way he smelled, how comfortable he felt, how warmly he held me. But, we couldn't stay like that forever.
"I'm gonna call you at least once a day." He said, adamant on that. "And, when you come see us, we're going to hangout before and after, no matter what."
"I have no objections." I nodded, trying not to show how nervous I was. He smiled, running his thumb along my jaw. He pulled me into him, the kiss was definitely different. It was more like us fighting to have more time, not wanting to leave each other.
"Josh, we need to get going." Jake said lightly, not wanting to sound too pushy. Josh gave me a sad look, I couldn't help the achey feeling in my heart.
"Goodbye, Lynna." He said, squeezing me so hard I might've burst.
"Goodbye, Josh." I mumbled, not wanting to say anymore in fear of a voice crack. He planted one last kiss on my forehead before giving a wistful smile. He slipped out of my grip, leaving me to stand there like an idiot.
The boys left the parking lot, waving like madmen. Frankie sighed and found a spot beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.
"I'm going to cry." I said, looking to where they had left.
"Me too." She said, sounding almost as miserable as me. "I actually kind of liked them."
"Especially Sammy." I said, letting a small smile find my face.
"Shutup." She laughed. "And, we're both being dramatic, we'll see them in a couple weeks."
"A couple?" I cried, wishing it was only a couple days.
"Let's go cry inside." She smiled, pulling me towards the apartments. I let my head fall onto her side, feeling pitiful for myself. This was going to suck. Absolutely fucking suck.
Josh (lee)
I miss you
I smiled at my phone, mostly at the fact that I usually would've cringed.
"Do you think you guys would've done it if I hadn't walked in?" Frankie asked, opening my door.
"Frankie." I groaned, not feeling like debating her.
"Honest question." She shrugged, throwing her shoes off her feet.
"Let's just go back to sleep, I'd much rather not think about it at this very moment." I smiled, walking towards my bedroom, not forgetting to grab Sergio. "Hey, how come you were in my bed?"
"I figured it shouldn't go to waste." She said. "You didn't want to leave the couch, remember?"
"Not really, to be honest." I said, failing to remember the conversation. "I think you just wanted to use my bed."
"What? Me? No way." She said dramatically, making me laugh at her. We both crawled under the covers, eager to go back to sleep. I was tired, but I couldn't stop half the thoughts on my mind. Josh was taking up every cavity of my mind.
I wanted him to come back already. All I could do was trust we would be perfectly fine. I knew we would, it would just be torment. I don't know what I was going to do with myself for a while.