When I wake up Blaine is still asleep beside me.
The sun is shining through the fairly thin curtains. I look to the clock and it's noon. Blaine never sleeps this late.
What if he's dead?
He's laid on his stomach, his arms wrapped around his pillow that's under his head. I poke his back to make sure he's still alive.
He groans before his sleepy eyes flutter open. "What are you doing?" He asks, his voice laced with sleep.
"It's midday." I state.
"And?"
"You've never slept until 12 in your life."
"Need I remind you that you're not acctually a family friend and haven't infact known me your full life." He says before burying his head in his soft pillow.
"No but I just know for a fact you haven't." I state.
"I did once acctually." His voice is muffled by the pillow.
"Wow once." I say sarcastically. "How old were you at the time?"
"Six."
"Six." I repeat. "And what was the reason for you to indulge in such a horrific activity."
"I was sick."
"That's the most boring excuse ever."
After a moment Blaine gets up and leaves his room, telling me he'll be back in just a minute.
He comes back with a glass of water and what looks like a fruit bar in his hand. He places them both on the side table beside me on the bed without a word.
"I'm going in the shower." He says before he's off.
I take a swig of the water before staring at the fruit bar. I really should eat that. I passed out because I haven't been eating enough, which means it's serious again.
Come on Cassie, you've got this.
I pick it up.
It's a fruit bar. It's heathly and small. It's a step.
Just take one bite and we can work from there.
I unwrap the bar and take a small bite. I push the lump down my throat.
Just take one more bite.
Please, just one more.
I take another bite and once I swallow it I realise I've barely eaten any of the stupid thing and I've accomplished nothing.
This is getting me nowhere. It's useless. Tears roll down my face.
If I can't even eat one stupid, pathetic fruit bar how am I ever going to get better?
I wipe my eyes and try to take a deep breath.
I hear Blaine walk back in the room when he's finished with his shower, he comes in only wearing sweat pants. His upper-half is completely bare and his muscles are on full display as he dries his hair with a towel. I stare at his abs for a minute before realising what I'm doing and looking away.
"How did you do?" He asks.
"I barely took two bites." I admit, avoiding eye contact because I'm a failure.
"How much did you eat yesterday?" He asks.
"Nothing." I admit.
"Then two bites is progress, it's a step in the right direction don't take away from that." He says. "I've booked you in with a therapist, you'll go three times a week, does that work for you?"
"I mean...yeah but we still have a mole to catch."
"We don't seem to be in any immediate danger. I don't see why you can't go to therapy and help find the mole in your spare time?"
"I can."
"Good."
I curl myself back up in the bed, wrapping the covers tightly against myself.
Blaine tells me he has to leave for a while and asks me if I'll be alright for a few hours. I assure him that I'm fine and he leaves.
I feel lonely without him here. Without him here I'm left alone with my thoughts.
Not knowing what else to do, I get out of the bed and start pacing back and forth. I frustratedly run my hands down my face and wipe away a few stray tears.
I sit back on the edge of the bed burying my head in my hands when I hear a knock on the door.
Blaine wouldn't knock on his own door so I just ignore it. Whoever is knocking is probably looking for him and I have no clue where he is anyway.
Then there's another knock, followed by "Cassie?" I guess he's not looking for Blaine after all. "I know you're in there." Vincent says. "Can I come in?" He asks.
I wipe my face as I walk up to the door. I open it and Vincent waits patiently for me to let him in.
"Are you ok?" He asks.
I swallow down a lump in my throat. "Not really."
"Blaine told me you'd passed out and that you were in here, what happened?" He asks coming into the room. He looks around as though he's never been in here before.
I shut the door and lean my back against it. "I...um..." I take a deep breath before walking over to sit on the right side of the bed and motioning for Vincent to sit down too.
The two of us sit against the headboard of the bed with our legs stretched out onto the soft mattress.
Vincent waits patiently for me to tell him. We sit in silence for a few minutes while I work up the courage to do so.
"I passed out because I wasn't eating enough." I start. "To put it in simple terms wasn't eating enough because I have an eating disorder."
"But I saw you eating, you seemed fine?"
"I'm good at that, pretending that I'm fine. I- uh...it's-" I say, struggling to find the words. "I did eat some food but I didn't- I couldn't stop myself from getting it back out."
Vincent thinks for a second. "I should've known, after what you said about my addiction. I should've realised that something wasn't right. Maybe I could've helped you like you did with me."
I shake my head. "There was no way you could've known, Vincent. I didn't even know. I wouldn't admit it to myself until after I almost died."
"Have you been through this before?" He asks.
"Yes."
"But you recovered?"
"I thought I did."
"Don't take away from what you've accomplished. You'd made progress, you can do it again and I'll be by your side." He returns my offer.
"Thank you. You know, it really means a lot to me coming from you. You've quickly become my closest friend and I really do love you."
"Well aren't you just a cutie." He says bringing me in for a hug. He puts his chin on top of my head. "I love you too kid."
"You're only two years older." I mumble into his chest.
"Yeah, yeah."
♡♡♡
It's later on in the day when I decide to sit outside and read my book for a while. Going outside is supposed to help mental health and while I do try and get out, the majority of the time I don't go outside just because.
I sit on one of the deck chairs around the pool, lifting the back into a sitting position.
Frinkles joins me outside. He'd been with Vincent the past two nights, one while I was passed out and two when I was out of it for the full day.
Vincent said he didn't know what was going on the first day and that Blaine had come up to him and asked him to take Frinkles for the night and one night turned into two.
I sit on the lounge chair and Frinkles cozies up beside me.
I read my book for a while and for the most part Frinkles stays still, that is until there's a bird and he takes off in a hurry.
I watch as he chases a bird along the field. "Frinkles." I shout, wanting him to come back and stop chasing defenseless birds.
He doesn't listen so I roll my eyes and continue reading. He'll give up soon and come back.
I get lost in the word of my book until I realise that Frinkles hasn't come back.
I look up and my eyes scan the perimeter. When I don't see him anywhere I begin to panic.
I hastily put my book beside me, not even caring about the page number I'm in such distress. I quickly get up and look around again.
"Frinkles?" I shout.
I hear a faint noise and take off running in the general area. I shouldn't really be running with the whole not eating enough and passing out thing but my baby needs me.
Blaine's back yard is huge and there are lots of trees and obstacles Frinkles could be behind, I'm just hoping he isn't far.
I shout for Frinkles again and hear him meow close by.
I manage to find Frinkes and he's fine. I'm about to pick him up, take him back and tell him off for running off and scaring me like that when he hides behind a fence.
"Really?" I ask. "Please stop playing around, it's not funny."
I walk so I can see him behind the fence and when I look he isn't alone.
I look between the two cats in shock.
"Frinkles?" I ask for an explanation.
"Meow." He replies.
"Where did this cat come from?" I ask Frinkles while looking at the small, grey kitten.
Frinkles comes back to me stroking his fur against my covered leg. He's buttering me up and showing me extra love because he wants to keep the cat.
The poor baby kitten is looking at me intently, scared to take it's frightened eyes off me.
I get down on my haunches and put my hand out to show the grey cat that it doesn't have to be afraid.
The cat takes a step back and I put my hand back to it's original position, not wanting it to be afraid of me.
Frinkles rubs against my leg again and my hand automatically strokes against his soft fur.
He let's me stroke him before approaching the grey cat.
He was trying to show the cat not to be afraid of me.
Frinkles looks at the cat and the cat takes it's eyes off me and onto him. Frinkles walks back over to me and I let him pull my hand back out.
The grey cat hesitantly starts making it's way over to me. It takes cautious, slow steps before reaching my hand.
I slowly turn my hand and place it on top of his head, gently stroking his head and ears.
As the cat gets more comfortable with me it takes more steps towards me until is completely in my arms.
Frinkles walks by my side as I carry the small, fragile kitten back to the house.
Blaine should be back by now so I make my way back to his room. Frinkles is able to keep up at my pace but I'd assume his new friend wouldn't be able to as it only has little legs. It would especially struggle on the stairs.
I'm able to unlock the bedroom door without moving to much and I make my way inside.
Blaine, who is inside the room, freezes and stares at the cat in my arms.
He eventually looks back to me.
"Can we keep him?" I say with a hopeful smile.
"No." The smile vanishes from my face.
"Why not?"
"When you get your own house you can make the rules." He states.
"I do have my own house."
"But you don't live in it."
"That's your fault not mine." I say walking past him and sitting down on the bed with the kitten on my knees. Frinkles jumps on the bed beside me and I use my other arm to hold him.
"Great, now there's two of them on my bed." He says.
"They're cats, they're not going to hurt you."
"We're being overrun by animals." He says and I roll my eyes.
The kitten gets off my lap and starts rolling along the bed.
"Oh god no."
"Stop being dramatic." I say.
Frinkles joins in with the other cat, rolling along the bed.
"They're rolling around my bed." Blaine states. I see that.
"So?" I say, standing up and out of their way.
"So control your pets."
"Pets? As in plural?" I ask. "Does this mean I get to keep the other one?"
"As long as you stop it from rolling dirt on my bed I really don't care what you do."
"Frinkles." I say and Frinles' head immediately snaps to me. "Down." I say motioning for him to jump off the bed.
Frinkles jumps down and I lift the other cat off the bed and against my shoulder.
Without wasting any time, Blaine starts stripping the bed of the covers and sheets, anything that either of the cats have touched.
Me and the two cats make our way into my room and I place the grey cat on one of the big pillows on the floor since I don't have another cat bed.
I pick up Frinkles' cat bed, hoping that Blaine will be kind enough to let the three of us stay in there for the night as I really don't feel like being alone.
Frinkles must get the memo because he starts carefully pulling the kitten along on the pillow and into Blaine's room.
"Over there." Blaine says pointing to the furthest corner while still changing the bed.
To be honest I thought he would say no so I'm not mad he's banishing them to the corner. I didn't even ask if they could stay in here and yet he agreed.
I settle the two cats in the corner, giving them food and water while Blaine finishes changing the bed.
As I walk over to the bed I decide to test the theory I've just come up with.
"Will you watch the cats while I go outside?" I ask.
"Why are you going outside?" He asks.
"If there's one cat out there how do we know there isn't more? It only looks like a baby, it's parents could still be out there in the cold and all alone."
"They'll be fine."
"Or what if there are more kittens? We can't just leave them."
"They can wait until tomorrow." He says.
"I can't go to sleep knowing they could be out there."
"There's no more out there." He states.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because it's not a wild cat. I put it out there for you to find, ok? Now shut up and go to sleep."
A big smile makes it's way on to my face. "I knew it." I say sitting onto the bed. I pause. "Is it a boy or a girl?" I ask.
"Why were you going to look for more cats if you already knew?" He says, skipping over my second question.
"I wasn't, I was trying to get you to admit it."
"And what if I hadn't? How far were you willing to take it?"
I shrug my shoulders. "Is Whisper a boy or a girl?"
"It's a boy."
"He's so cute."
"I'm sure you think so." He replies.
"If you hate cats so much then why did you buy me another one?"
"I don't hate cats, they're just annoying....most of the time." He says. "I bought you one because you said you wanted one and Frinkles seems to somehow make you happier." He tells me. "And the other day he was scratching on my door. I came in your room ready to tell you to get him under control when I saw you passed out and barely breathing on the floor. I keep thinking that if he hadn't have done that you'd be dead right now. So maybe your stupid cat isn't as stupid as I thought."
♡♡♡
A/n They're all such cuties.