RUNAWAY
CHAPTER NINE...!
❝ SURVIVOR'S GUILT , SEASON NINE ❞
THAT SAME NIGHT, the sheriff threw Jennie's coat towards her, swiftly telling her to meet him in the car, as Vicky had found a new lead on the case for them to investigate.
Thirty minutes later, she was using that same coat to place pressure on his GSW.
The evening started off typical, after
the team of agents and officers had ruled out Preacher Mills was not the Unsub, but he did have a criminal history. The actual Unsub was trying to copy what the preacher had done, that being the lacerations, in an attempt to frame the Preacher.
Jennie sat in the cop car with Alex, Spencer, and Sheriff, after Vicky had claimed to see Preacher Mills walking into an empty restaurant. The team followed him to the restaurant, knowing his whereabouts would eventually lead the team to the actual unsub.
As the four pulled up the scene, they met with other team members including JJ, Derek, Vicky, and Marty.
"He's been in there a good five minutes, now." Vicky briefed the team, "I haven't seen any movement yet."
"What about patrons?"
"Oh, it's closed."
"How many entrances?"
"Uh, two, it looks like."
"The question is, is he alone."
"Thanks for staying here, Vick." Jennie patted the woman's shoulder, and the latter nodded.
"Of course. Anything I can do to help."
"Guys," Marty noticed the Preacher peaking through the restaurants window, "I've got movement. We should move in now, Sheriff."
"Actually, we're better off establishing the perimeter first." Spencer disagreed with the Deputy, "Then we can open up a line of communication."
Sheriff Coleman nodded, "Agreed. We need to—"
That's when Jennie's night began.
The man was interrupted as a gunshot
pierced the air, a concussive blast from Preacher Mills from inside the restaurant shot right at Sheriff Coleman.
"Sheriff!" Jennie yelled out, as Marty instinctively pulled her behind his car for protection.
"Shots fired! Shots fired!"
It was a continuous battle between the cops and the Preacher, each side firing their guns, creating a deafening noise in a once-so-peaceful area.
She used this as a distraction, creeping her way behind the cars to get to Sheriff Coleman, who was on the ground due to his gunshot wound. Alex attempted to assist, trying to get Coleman to safety.
"Blake!" Spencer called after Alex, seeing how to gunshots were accelerating.
Jennie's heart almost stopped when she saw Spencer hit the floor, with a gunshot to his neck.
"Reid!" Derek yelled out.
In a matter of seconds, Derek dragged Spencer's injured body to the back, propping him against a car. Alex and JJ attempted to do the same with Coleman's body, but the gunshots began coming right towards them, targeting the women. JJ and Alex ran to behind the car.
Jennie, however, only continued to try and move the Sheriff, despite the women yelling at her to leave him.
The gunshots near her were so loud, it tuned out everything else. Every voice she heard, any pain she felt— it was all tuned out. Eventually, she dragged the Sheriff behind the car, placing a firm hand to the gunshot wound on his chest.
"Sheriff." Her voice broke.
He tried his best to make his eyes stay open, and when they did, he looked at her. He saw her eyes glisten, and her trying to fight the fact that her lips were nearly trembling.
"Jennie." He breathed out, wincing at the subsequent pain.
"They'll be here soon. The medics. They'll be here." Her voice began to tremble, the water building up in her eyes creating a somewhat stinging sensation, "They're gonna help you. Okay?"
"Jennie—"
"Just hold on a bit longer, please."
"Jennie—"
"Just hold on!" She thundered. She didn't mean to yell. She didn't want to yell. And by the way her voice trembled, and the tears that fell from her eyes subsequently — he knew.
"It's okay." Sheriff Coleman finally told her, his voice soft, "I'll be okay."
"You're not gonna die." Her voice was quieter this time, "Sheriff, you aren't giving up on me."
The man could only stay silent. He couldn't respond to her because he knew he couldn't reassure her. They both knew that.
"You were my favorite." Coleman finally spoke up after the silence, "Did you know that?"
"Sheriff—"
"I know I'm not supposed to have favorites." He cut her off, his voice finally breaking, "But you— you are the best damn deputy I've ever worked with, kid."
Jennie remembered all those times she'd sit at her desk in the Briscoe PD precinct. Sometimes, she'd have bad days, and would be on the verge of tears at work. But, everytime she could feel that lump in her throat, she'd tell her self the same thing: Don't break. Not here, not now.
But as she watched over Sheriff Coleman's dying body, she felt the tears streaming down her face. She broke.
"The team—" The Sheriff began again, before wincing a bit at the pain of his wound, pausing for a second before continuing, "The team is gonna need a leader. Someone to take initiative, to make sure this case gets handled. I need you to do that for me, Jennie. I need you to be their leader."
"No. No, you're going to be fine, okay?" Jennie tried to convince him. Really, she was trying to convince the both of them, "You're going to be just fine."
"I need you to promise me, kid." The man's eyes mirrored hers, being filled with tears, "Promise me."
She let a sob escape.
"I promise."
His eyes remained on hers. Finally, he built the strength to reach his arm over, taking her hand in his. He squeezed it weakly.
"I should've seen it before. When you submitted your proposal, I shouldn't have brushed it off." Coleman told her, "I'm sorry."
"Don't do that." She told him, "You are a great Sheriff. It's only your first year here, and you've already done so many amazing things."
For the first time, he broke eye contact with the girl, to look up at the sky. He tried holding in the tears in his eyes, but Jennie could still see them glisten.
Finally, he turned back to her. He gave her hand another squeeze.
"This—." Coleman began, the mix of pain and tears causing the difficulty for the words to come out, "Is not your fault. You hear me? It's not your fault."
Jennie watched as he became weaker. He began to move around less, and his grip on her hand began to loosen.
"It's not your fault." He muttered.
She saw his eyes begin to close.
"Sheriff." She pleaded, "Sheriff!"
Her hand was still pressed against his wound when she could feel his breathing start to slow down.
"Sheriff! No, no, no—" She begged him,
"Wake up, Sheriff. Come on, wake up!"
She shook his body, and pounded his chest. Over and over again. Until she too was covered in his sweat and blood.
"Sheriff." Her voice finally quieted, trembling, "Please."
"Jennie?" JJ came over to the girl. She crouched down, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder, before her eyes caught something. She placed a hand on the stain on the sleeve on her shirt, before rolling up the sleeve, "Jennie— you're bleeding. I think the gunshot grazed you."
Jennie didn't respond to her, as she only watched the lifeless body of Sheriff Peter Coleman in front of her. She couldn't take her eyes off him. Off his bleeding body. Off his unresponsive state.
Right now, it was just two of them.
—
WHEN SHE ARRIVED at the hospital, Jennie was taken into the emergency room to get her wound patched up. Luckily, her arm was only grazed. The bullet slid right off her arm, only leaving a laceration on her skin, and not hitting any major arteries or veins.
She left the ER with a bandaged arm, walking into the waiting room to see Alex sitting there, waiting for Spencer and Derek to recover. Jennie was told on the ambulance ride that Spencer had to undergo surgery for his GSW, while Derek was grazed with a bullet. His injuries were more severe than hers, however, causing him to have to occupy a hospital room.
"Hey," Alex smiled sympathetically when she noticed Jennie. The younger girl gave her a smile, walking over, "How's your arm?"
Jennie shrugged, "It's fine. The guy barely hit me."
Alex gave her a concerned look, "I'm sorry about Coleman."
Jennie nodded.
"Yeah. Me too." The girl's voice was a bit quieter, "Any update on Spencer and Derek?"
"Spencer's still in surgery, but Derek's recovering just fine." Alex told her, "He's up if you wanna go see him."
Alex watched Jennie pause for a moment, thinking about it, before the younger girl decided to take a seat next to her. Jennie let out a sigh, rubbing her hands over her face.
"You okay?" Alex questioned, but Jennie only remained silent,"Sorry— I know. That was a dumb question."
"No, it wasn't." Jennie shook her head, reassuring the woman, "I'm sorry, I'm just— tired."
Alex let out a weary chuckled, "I know that feeling."
There was a silence in the room. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was just— there. They sat there, knowing each other was going through a similar situation. It was rather relieving. Jennie hadn't known Alex for a long time, but she heard good things about the woman. She didn't say much, but when she did, it's often give Jennie a form of solace.
Jennie kinda saw herself in Alex.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Blake asked the girl, making Jennie look over at her, "I mean, you felt a man die. There must be a thousand thoughts going through your mind right now."
Jennie didn't say anything at first, glancing down at her fidgeting hands.
"He—" The younger girl began, getting cut off by the lump forming in her throat, "He kept telling me how it wasn't my fault. Like— he needed me to know that before he passed."
"It wasn't your fault."
Jennie chuckled, shaking her head, the glisten reappearing in her eyes.
"You guys keep saying that, and I want to believe it. But, no matter how many times I hear it— I can't stop thinking it's not true." Jennie admitted, "I mean, how am I supposed to feel like it's not?"
Alex reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze, "It's not easy. But, Coleman made sure to tell you that for a reason. He made sure to make it clear that you weren't at fault. And that's because he truly meant it, Jennie. There's a reason he trusted you so much."
Jennie stayed silent for a moment, but eventually worked up a small smile to form on her lips, looking at Blake, "Thank you, Alex."
Another silence filled the room, as Jennie let her back hit the chair, letting out a sigh. Alex, however, wasn't done with the conversation just yet.
"Jennie?"
"Hm?"
"Why do you really work there?"
"I—" Jennie was taken aback from the question. It was the second time she was asked that. "I don't know. It's just how things are, I guess."
"It's more than that. We all know it." Alex told her, "What— you think a group of profilers can't tell how tense you've been, or how you didn't eat the food your dad ordered for you for lunch?"
"I wasn't hungry." Jennie tried to explain.
Alex have her a look, "You're always hungry."
She was right. Jennie couldn't deny it.
"What's really going on?" The agent asked her.
Jennie let out another long sigh. As much as she tried not to think about it, she wholeheartedly knew her answer.
"I am one of two women working in that precinct." Jennie began to admit, and Alex's face began to falter in realization, "Not to mention— I'm the youngest, the least experienced. No matter how many cases I solve, or how much I try to be a good deputy— I feel like I'm constantly trying to fight for a seat at the table."
"That's why you've been so quiet around your dad." Alex comprehended, "You don't want your coworkers to see you be treated like a kid."
It felt good to let it out for once. For months she had surrounded herself with people she'd watch snicker at her from afar, or undermine her insight on cases because of her age. Her inner circle of Marty, Owen, and Vicky were nice. The outer circle? It was a mere game of public high-school.
"The people here— it's like I'm talking to a brick wall, day after day, just yearning for just an ounce of respect. But I can't just give up, because that means they win." Jennie continued, "So— I still work here. Because I still have something to prove, I guess."
"You don't owe them anything." Alex told her, "They only disrespect because they're intimidated. Jennie— you're twenty years old, and have already molded yourself into this powerful woman, that's already making significant changes to the world. Being young— I think it's kinda your superpower. You give this kind of youth to this force of work— the kind we need to gain different perspectives in order to do our job right. That's nothing you need to be ashamed about."
Jennie listened to her words carefully. She had spent her entire life being insecure of her age. She never really bonded with other teens when she was in high school, and stuck to a tight group of merely seven designated friends in college. She loved having friends her own age— she just wasn't as good at making them.
Additionally, she tried desperately to find someway to not blame herself for the recent death of her Sheriff. If Coleman made sure to tell her it wasn't her fault before he died, it must've been true. But, Jennie had a hard time shaking off the fact that if she had acting on this case sooner, Coleman wouldn't have died. Not only that, but Derek wouldn't have been shot at, and Spencer wouldn't be in surgery.
It didn't matter if no one thought it was her fault. She thought it was her fault. And that voice in her head telling her she should've been quicker or should've been smarter outweighed anyone else. It was a breaking force that shattered her heart into cinders. How could she be so stupid? Why had she done this after everything she knew about the world? Why didn't she fight harder? "It's not your fault." — but the voice inside thought differently.
It's not your fault. It is your fault. It's not your fault. It is your fault. It's not. It is.
She came to the conclusion that this nagging voice in her brain would become inconsolable.
And she had to learn to accept it.
So, after a moment, she finally got up from her seat. Alex watched her, her eyebrows pinching together.
"Where are you going?"
Jennie turned to the woman, letting out a small sigh.
"There's nothing I can do to stop myself from feeling guilty." Jennie told the woman, "But, pitying myself isn't going to do any good. So, I'm going back to the precinct, and make sure no one else gets hurt. When Coleman was dying— He made me promise him I'd take the lead on this case. He made me promise it would get solved. So, that's what I'm going to do."
A proud smile formed on Alex's mouth.
"I'll text you when Spencer wakes up."
Jennie gave her a thankful look, "Thank you, Alex. For everything. I really appreciate it."
And with that, Jennie left the waiting room, making her way back to Briscoe PD.
—
JENNIE WALKED BACK into the precinct, wincing as her wounded arm ached when it pushed the door open. She noticed the group of Aaron, Dave, JJ, and Matt Cruz standing together, and walked up to them.
"Update me. What have you guys found?" Jennie asked the group.
"Woah, woah, woah—" Rossi looked at her, "Don't you want to take a break? Let your arm heal?"
Jennie shook her head, "I'm not resting until this case is solved. Updates?"
"Morgan and I caught Preacher Mills, and I just talked to Dinah." JJ told the girl, "We suspected she was trying to flee, before she was taken from her house. But apparently Deputy McGregor found her found her driving."
"That doesn't make sense." Jennie's eyebrows furrowed, "Did she say anything?"
"Well, she's definitely afraid, but got defiant when Bennett walked in." JJ explained.
"You get anything about her kid?" Rossi asked the blonde.
"Nothing but a look of desperation."
"If she has someone to lose, they hold all the cards." Cruz spoke.
Aaron got off the phone call he was having in the corner of the room, walking up to the group with a certain look.
"Outside." The Unit Chief muttered, "You too, Jennie."
Jennie nodded, but the request confused her nonetheless. She followed the agents outside the precinct.
"Garcia did some digging," Aaron began to inform the agents as they stepped outside, "And it turns out that Travis Henson, the third victim from the diner, was also a confidential informant."
Matt looked at him in disbelief, "For Coleman?"
"No. For a decorated deputy named Owen McGregor."
Jennie's body stiffened, and her voice got quieter, "Owen?"
Rossi sighed, "You mean the same deputy who arrested Dinah but didn't stick around to book her?"
"It explains the hydroshock rounds found in Coleman." JJ began, "And why all the victims were afraid. Each one reported 'they' were gonna get them. What if...they is more than just this Owen McGregor? What if it's the whole force?"
"I'm telling you, Coleman was not a dirty cop." Matt Cruz defended his friend, "And from what I've heard, Deputy Hotchner doesn't seem like she would be either."
"No, but he's only been Sheriff a year. And Jennie came in right after he was hired." JJ began to explain her theory, "So, they're the outsiders. That's what got Coleman killed."
Jennie's eyes widened at a thought that entered her mind, her shaking hand covering her mouth, "Oh my God."
Aaron looked at his daughter, "What is it?"
"The proposal I sent in six months ago. The one saying how the first two murders were connected. Sheriff Coleman said the Commisioner told him to drop the case." Jennie recalled, "That can't be a coincidence. I know it's a stretch but, could this be more extensive than we think? I mean, could the whole force be in on this?"
"Alright, let's say the force is in fact dirty." Matt shrugged, "It's a massive body count. What the hell are they protecting?"
"A way of life?" Aaron suggested, "Corruption like this can make a lot of people a lot of money."
"What's McGregor like?" Matt looked over at Jennie.
"I mean, he's always been a bit strange. He makes weird comments sometimes, and he always seems frustrated about something." Jennie shrugged, "But, I never saw him as a murderer."
"He's just finished his 4/40 when we landed." David recalled, "He's back on the clock now. Where would he go?"
"Wait—" Matt began, "If Coleman was killed because he was an outsider, that means. . ."
As he trailed off and looked over the younger deputy in front of him, the shift in energy in the group made it clear that the team had to come to the same conclusion as him.
Jennie was the only one capable enough to say it aloud.
"That means I'm next."
—
THE TEAM made their way back inside the precinct. They made sure not to go all at once, as to not arouse suspicion.
Derek, Aaron, Jennie, and David were all sitting and standing next to each other, when they noticed Deputy Marty Bennet walking over.
"You guys were out there a long time. Anything we should know about?"
Jennie couldn't look at him the same, and she immediately broke eye contact with him. All this time she thought they were becoming closer— but it was all just a ploy.
"Just getting some fresh air."
Marty didn't believe them, but his face remained neutral as he nodded, "Okay."
Jennie expected him to walk away from the group, but when he didn't, she stiffened.
"Hey, Jennie—" Marty began, "You think you could come to the evidence room with me for a second? There's some paperwork that needs to be filled out about Sheriff Coleman."
Before Jennie could say anything, her father spoke for her.
"Jennie needs to stay here with us. We have some questions for her." It was a lie, but it was enough to get Marty to back off.
Jennie could notice the tension in the Deputy Bennett's jaw, "Alright."
Before he could walk away, Jennie spoke up.
"I'll let you once we're done. Then I can help you with that paperwork."
Jennie watched as Marty nodded, and then turned back to the team, seeing the disagreeing looks from the men in front of her.
"You're not going anywhere alone with him, or anyone else on this force." Aaron's voice was quiet, but stern, "Now that we know what their plan is, I'm not letting you put yourself in that kind of danger."
"I'm our best option to getting information right now." Jennie tried to defend her case, "I'm part of this force. I've worked alongside these people for months. I know them better than any of you guys. So, if it comes down to it— I need to use that to our advantage."
"JenJen, it's too risky." Derek protested against her, "You saw what happened to Coleman. Look I know you feel guilty—"
"It's not about guilt." Jennie shook her head, "I promised Sheriff Coleman I would handle this case. I owe it to him— to all the victims — to do everything I can to solve it. Please."
It was evident none of them liked the idea. How could they? They all watched
this girl grow up, and fight battles no one should ever have to fight. They were protective of her. But, they also knew that it was Jennie's life-long dream to help people. And even though that made them utterly anxious, they knew at some point they would have to let her make these kinds of decisions.
It was a bittersweet feeling.
"If they try to—"
"They won't." She told them, "I won't let them."
Aaron still wasn't on board, "You can't promise that."
"I know." She replied, "And I know you guys are worried about me. I get it, and I appreciate it, but— I need to do this. Not just for Coleman, but for Lucas, Abigail— and all the other victims. And for you guys."
The team in front of her had confused looks after hearing the last sentence.
"I don't know if you've guys noticed, but the force doesn't seem to be a big fan of FBI." Jennie quipped, "You all are outsiders too, not just me. So, please. All I'm asking is for you to let me do this."
The group of Morgan, Rossi, and her father shared glances.
Rossi let out a short chuckle, "You're going to do it no matter what we say, aren't you."
She shrugged.
"Probably."
The girl then glanced over at her father. His protest against the plan was written all over his expression.
With that, Jennie sighed, taking her phone out of her pocket. She opened up an app and showed it to her dad.
"This is a tracking app Penelope recommended for me." Jennie showed him the app on her phone, "All I need is to give tell Penelope the 'okay' to track my phone, and it follows everywhere I'm going. It's actually pretty sweet."
Aaron didn't say anything for a moment. His eyes stayed still, but Jennie could see the thousands of thoughts rushing through his brain.
He didn't have time to thoughtfully make a decision, as Deputy Marty Bennett walked back up to the group.
"Jennie, you got a minute? We just need a couple of your signatures."
"Just a moment, Bennett." Jennie turned back to look at the deputy, before turning back to her father, "Do you guys have any more questions?"
Or rather, 'do you trust me to do this?'
Aaron paused for another moment, before finally shaking his head.
"Alright then." Jennie got up from the desk she was sitting on. She mouthed a quick 'thank you' to her dad, before following Marty to the evidence room.
As she walked alongside him, she pulled her contacts, secretly sending a certain message without Marty noticing.
TO PENELOPE G; FROM JENNIE H.
Turning my phone off. Please track it so my dad has a lesser chance of dying from tachycardia.
—
AUTHOR'S NOTE |
i'm gonna be honest i didn't even mean for this chapter to be so sad. it kinda just happened LMAO
also this is vv cheesy but thank u to everyone who has been so nice to my return to this book 🥲🥲 i usually get so nervous to return from hiatuses, but i'm seriously so overwhelmed & grateful from the warmth and love i've recieved <33333 i have so much love in my heart for all of u MWAH
word count.
4225.