It's my birthday today! And I just realized that we're fourteen days away from this book's one-year anniversary. I'm posting this early for today's update because I wouldn't have time to do so later.
Also, we hit 700k a few days ago!! WOOOOOOO thank you so much for all the love you have given to this story. This is probably one of the most difficult plots I've ever thought of because of the heaviness that the characters carry. There were days when I had to take a break from writing it.
We've only got three more chapters before the epilogues 😉
Enjoy!
*****
July 26, 2028 - Monaco
Trying to calm down Charles felt like trying to persuade a jury that someone who committed a crime is innocent.
It's far from easy.
It didn't help either that when we got home, we found Gabby, Max, and Mick inside our apartment, most likely having used the spare key we gave to them.
We were all in the living room and the boys kept talking about what we can do, having been more experienced than Gabby and I when it comes to tackling a media disaster. My best friend was sitting beside Max, listening to the conversation, although her eyes were trained on me.
I never told her.
With the thoughts swirling in my head and the plans I was making for the next week, I knew I had to because she can't hear it alongside everyone else. It's possible that she'll get mad at me for waiting almost three years to tell her, but I can take that.
Gabby is my second sister. No matter how long we've known each other or the amount we spent together doing foolish things that she always manages to think of, she is one of the few people I trust the most, and her opinion is one that I want to hear.
The guys were too busy to notice as I gestured my head towards the kitchen and Gabby nodded, the two of us standing and leaving the other three in the living room. I opened one of the cupboards and took out two shot glasses before grabbing the opened tequila bottle from the alcohol Charles and I kept here in the apartment.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Gabby asked, her voice low, as I poured us both shots.
"Not one bit." I gave her a sad smile, and she kissed my cheek before picking up her own glass.
The tequila burned my throat, but it didn't help one bit to give me the liquid courage to tell Gabby everything. This was the fifth time I was going to tell someone about what happened in Monza and I don't even know if I'll have the energy to tell Max and Mick. A part of me wishes that after this, Gabby would know that I don't have enough strength within me to do it.
She didn't utter a word the entire time and I couldn't look her in the eye as I began speaking. The two of us just stayed there, standing side by side in front of the kitchen counter. If I was going to finish this story, I have to act like that's what it was– just a story. I've recognized it as my reality more times than I can count and repeating it over and over again just allows it to keep digging a permanent grave in the back of my mind.
When I finally finished, silence wrapped around us. I began counting in my head to keep myself from turning around and facing Gabby, not knowing what reaction I'll get.
Twenty-four.
Twenty-five.
Twenty-six.
Twenty-seven–
A sob escaped my lips when she grabbed my arms and turned me to face her, immediately enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug. My hands held onto her arms in a vicelike grip, feeling the tears fall down my cheeks as I felt her own on my shoulder. She didn't say anything, only the sound of her quiet cries filling the kitchen walls as she held me, just like how she did back in Mrs. Yilmaz's house. Gabby knew that sometimes words were never enough to give the comfort that someone needed. Sometimes, their presence alone was all you needed.
It was Max's reaction that I didn't expect. I waited in the kitchen with Charles as Gabby moved back to the living room to tell them the real reason why Manuele was behind bars and why Charles left the team he dreamt of being part of ever since he was a kid. Mick was the first one to come in, having the same reaction as Gabby who followed behind.
Max stayed rooted by the entrance of the kitchen as Mick talked to me, wiping the tears that didn't seem to stop coming out. When I finally looked at him, he was shaking with rage, blue eyes felt like stone-cold daggers that would pierce through you. I've never seen him like this because in the three years I've known him, Max was always positive and looked at the important people in his life using eyes filled with warmth.
I took a step towards him and Max stiffened but he didn't step back. "Nads." He said, clenching his jaw as if he was keeping himself from letting everything out.
"I'm okay." I reassured him, holding his face with my hands. Max shook his head and closed his eyes, making a piece of my heart break when he opened them again and a tear slipped out. "I'm okay." I repeated, although my voice cracked in the end. He pulled me towards him and I kept repeating those words as I moved my hand up and down his back until he finally calmed down.
When he did, the first words that came out of his mouth were, "Tell me we're going to do something about this because we're not going to let them think you're anything but the Nadia Kaplan we know."
*****
August 05, 2028 - France
There were so many people.
Jardin des Tuileries was filled with people who were either here for the event or for the park itself. Estelle told me that the city organization allowed them to use half of the available space which meant the setup had to be simple.
A stage had been placed in front as people milled around, a couple of booths set up that housed different information about mental illnesses while some of them were more interactive to ensure that the participants wouldn't get bored during the entire afternoon. I didn't think there would be this kind of turnout, especially with the amount of press.
I'm confident enough to think that the only reason there were so many journalists walking around was because Charles posted about the event on his Instagram story. People would've assumed that it was a simple show of his support, but they grew intrigued when Max and Mick did the same.
News about the article last week hadn't died down and things only became harder when we came across Rose while walking in Monaco. It was already late and thankfully, there were no other citizens or tourists walking on that street. I don't need anyone to add fuel to the fire.
"Hey." She greeted us, stopping when she noticed we were the ones she was passing by.
I acted like she wasn't there, feeling Gabby envelope my hand with hers as she glared at Rose. We all knew she was the source since she was the only one who had the motive to do it. Manuele wouldn't dare make a move like this because doing so would only decrease his chances of parole and the early release I knew he was hoping for.
My eyes were trained on Charles and I watched as he walked towards Rose whose eyes seem to have lit up. I want to tell her that whatever was going on in her head would never happen, but I can't take away this chance for Charles. He needed to end this with his own will.
"I didn't expect to see you guys together with everything that's been happening." Rose spoke again and her eyes widened when Charles let out a bitter laugh.
"I don't know how I managed to stay with you that long." He said, voice laced with anger as he looked down at her.
"You don't mean that."
"You don't know me well enough to say that." He spat back. "With everything that's happened, I expected you to let it go, Rose. Did you even love me for me, or did you just want a life with someone who had the resources to support you?"
Max let out a huff of hair behind me and I turned around to shush him, greeted by a smirk on his lips.
"Of course I loved you! Unlike Nadia, I–"
"Unlike Nadia, you're stupid enough to believe that what you see is the truth. If this were the other way around, she'd make sure the story was real."
"If this were the other way around, I wouldn't leech myself to my married ex." I added and I noticed Gabby bite her lip to keep herself from smiling.
"Charles, please." Rose pleaded, stepping forward to reach for Charles' arm but he backed away immediately. "I'm sorry."
"I don't want to hear any of it. Whatever delusions you have, forget them. I want you out of my life, Rose. For good."
"Are you ready?" I turned around to see Charles standing beside me, giving me a comforting smile.
"As ready as I'll ever be." From behind me, someone called my name and gestured to the stage where a podium had been set for anyone who was speaking. Different people have stood on that stage today and as the event ended, I would be the last one to speak.
"You'll do great. I'll be here if you need me." Charles leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the lips before planting a softer one on my forehead.
I gave him one last look before moving to the stage, taking a deep breath before I took the first step that would give everyone a clear view of me.
I sensed the change in the atmosphere once the host called on my name. I originally volunteered to speak for the closing remarks when I contacted Estelle, but she and the other psychologists offered to give me my own time when they read the words I wrote. Everyone settled down and I saw the journalists in attendance ready to listen in and take notes. A few Formula One fans were here as well, arms raised as they held their phones to record what I was about to say. I'm sure that whatever footage they'll have will be spreading on the internet in a few minutes.
My eyes met Gabby's as she stood in front of the crowd, feeling a sense of confidence wave through me as she nodded her head in encouragement. Mick and Max were standing on either side of her, with Mick flashing me a thumbs-up.
Taking one last breath, I glanced at the teleprompter that held the speech I had prepared, hoping that my message would put all the rumors to rest.
I also hope that this would be the final thing I needed to do to leave that night in Monza behind.
When you are a woman, there is a fear engraved in your mind.
Society fears mass shootings. Society fears hurricanes and tsunamis. Society fears the end of life.
Women fear walking alone. Women fear the near presence of a stranger. Women fear dark alleys. Women fear a group of men hanging out on the sidewalk. Women fear slight touches without permission. Women fear unwelcome eyes. Women fear intoxicated men.
We are created to survive the pain of childbirth yet why do we feel fear when it comes to these things? Why is it that whenever someone comes forward about being sexually assaulted, there is a thought buried in the minds of many about what she wore or why she was walking alone during that time? Why is it that people assume we wanted it? Is a child capable of distinguishing whether what is happening to her is right or wrong? Is a baby capable of uttering the word no?
You see us as a minority yet without us, you wouldn't survive. How do you look your mother in the eye knowing that you let your eyes maliciously look over a woman you saw walking across the street? How do you joke with your sister knowing you laugh at your friend's jokes about forcing sex upon someone? How do you care for your daughter knowing you wouldn't offer the same diligence to a woman who denies your touch?
When are we going to stop being the issue? Women wear tight clothing and they still get raped. Women wear baggy shirts and they still get raped. Women politely say no and they still get raped. Women scream to the top of their lungs and they still get raped. Women are in relationships and they still get raped.
Women live as women and they still get raped.
Year after year, day after day, we survive. Do you think that just because we keep quiet, you've already won? I was quiet for months, knowing that I could've spoken up sooner. Just because we don't speak doesn't mean we've already given up. The fact that we continue to walk, to stand, to live our lives– it's a testament to how powerful we are.
We may fear dark alleys but you don't know the defensive thoughts in our heads with each step we take. We may fear walking alone but you don't know how fast adrenaline would make us run to the nearest living person. We may fear unwelcome eyes but you don't know how we have an instinct to lift our knee without so much as a second thought.
We feel fear because we are brave. Without it, we're left with accepting the abuse and disrespect we're handed.
My name is Nadia Kaplan. I am a woman who is a victim of sexual assault. Last October of 2025, I was raped by Manuele Moretti in Italy where he cornered me into an alley alone with him, applied force as he pushed me against a concrete wall. He ignored every cry I gave as I said the word no. He forced himself into me as I said the word no. He acted as if I wanted it and came inside me as I said the word no.
Every word that came out of my mouth was no, yet to him, it was like all he heard was yes.
He took something from me that night that I will never get back. For a while, he held a power over me that required everything in me to regain back. To the people out there who think they are alone in this, you're not.
You are not alone. Be it a stranger, a friend, a family member, or the doctor you ask for help from. Wherever you are, there will always be a person who is willing to help. Wherever you are, we are with you.
Look around you. You are never alone.
*****
✧Reese✧