An echoey metallic clang rings out with each step you take atop the building you had just climbed up. Cloud was right, you would have never been able to find your way up here by yourself. With the buildings around you at most two storeys, this one gives the most uninterrupted view of both the Plate and Section 7 beneath it.
You see a small rusty water tank across the canopy but it is the only other thing on this gently sloping roof. As it is a clear night you decide to walk to the middle and sit down, you hear Cloud follow and feel him perch down beside you stealthily like a cat. He shifts his sword out of the way and settles with one leg stretched out and one bent so that he can rest an arm on it. As his blonde spikes shift gently with the breeze, you cannot help but wonder how someone can look so serene and troubled at the same time. With his proximity, you bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly and protectively as if it would somehow save you from the inappropriate overwhelming feelings you harbour inside for this man.
You both sit like this silently for a while, you distract yourself from his presence by tracing the streets with your eyes and trying to commit them to memory. Cloud is so still beside you, you wonder if he had fallen asleep until you stretch out on the roof beside him to look directly up at the plate above. You bring your hands up and intertwine them behind your head, getting as comfortable as you can on a corrugated metal roof.
"What is this building?" You ask matter of factly.
"It's a school. I found this place when I was doing a job for a little girl who asked me to look for her lost cats."
"A job for a little girl?" You ask amused.
"Yeah. Tifa made me." Cloud says flatly.
"I see..." Your mind casts uneasily over their close relationship.
"You know there's no one up here but us. You can relax." You say gently to Cloud. He seems surprised by your comment and shifts his weight to be able to look down at you.
"Why do you say that?" He asks, eyes searching for yours but you do not give him the satisfaction and keep your eyes fixed on the plate above.
"Dunno, just feels like it must be tiring keeping that facade up 24/7. I also know a thing or two about hiding behind self-imposed walls you know." Your tone is kind and sombre at the same time.
"What do you mean?" Cloud questions compellingly.
"Oh no you don't. You first." You smile gently but expectantly at him.
He looks a little lost but then says, "It's hard to put into words."
"Go on." You urge gently, sitting up onto your elbows, now looking straight into Cloud's face.
His expression looks strained but he slowly finds the words.
"I feel pressure. There's a pressure on me to always do the right thing. Be the protector to everyone. My worst fear is to seem weak and lose the people I care about."
"Why do you think you feel this way?" You enquire.
"I don't know." Cloud says simply.
"Because of what happened to your father and then your mother?" The words leave your mouth before you can stop them and you bite your lip as you are being a little too intrusive.
"Yeah. Maybe... Probably." Cloud replies, his eyes glazed looking off into the distance.
You are taken aback as you did not expect such an honest reply.
"I've never really thought that deeply into it before but I guess it makes sense." He continues.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry."
Cloud is still deep in thought. "I never knew my father. He disappeared just after I was born. My mother... Sephiroth..."
Cloud suddenly clenches his head in pain, his blond spikes quivering in alarm.
"Cloud! Are you ok?" You try to keep yourself from panicking.
After a few seconds, Cloud's blue eyes clear and refocuses.
"I've noticed that I don't get the headaches around you, but just then when I tried to remember... I don't know."
"Thanks for trying." Your eyes soften. He was just about to open up to you. It would explain your feeling that if you get too close to him, he would disappear. If you touch him, his psyche is so fragile he might break.
After a pause, you venture back into the conversation. "I think it's a self-preservation thing. You don't want to be hurt. Don't want to be left alone and so you have to be the closed off one. The one to push people away. The one who cares less."
You leave your words hanging in the air and hazard a look at Cloud, worried in case you had offended him with more of your overstepping remarks.
When you get nothing back, you quickly apologise. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Just ignore me. I'm clumsy both physically and also with my words."
You look away, kicking yourself mentally for your big mouth.
"No. I think that's it. You've managed to read me like an open book." Cloud turns his head to fix large vulnerable eyes on yours.
His gaze disarms you and you have to move physically to be able to pull away from his magnetic presence. You sit up higher, leaning back on your hands either side of you.
"Trust me, I know how it feels to be alone and unwanted. My aunt Scarlet, made it known to me almost every time she saw me that I was dispensable. If it wasn't for her, I would be on the streets. I think that's why I have to be amiable and social with everyone, bend to their needs while suppressing my own as I have always felt like an imposter in their opulent world. I have to work hard to prove my worth to them. Even the people I am supposed to be the closest to." You blink away the emotion building behind your eyes as you continue.
"I'm grateful for my aunt to have taken me in, but it's hard to know that you are not wanted for you." You can feel Cloud's eyes on you now but you keep looking ahead.
"I guess Rufus is the first person who liked me for me... Although I do wonder sometimes if it's because we were thrust together artificially by my aunt so often when we were growing up." You muse.
At the mention of Rufus' name, you feel Cloud shift uncomfortably.
After another pause for thought.
"I just hope I'm enough." You gaze upwards.
"Enough for what?" Cloud regains his composure.
"Enough to prevent Shinra's plans. Enough to save all these people and their homes."
You feel your eyes glistening in the dim light of the night as emotions crash into you.
"...You are enough. More than enough." Cloud whispers fervently beside you.
A grateful smile flickers at your lips and you nod appreciatively at Cloud.
Eager to move onto a lighter topic, you start to point and tell Cloud about where you live on the Plate. Cloud does not say much in response but you can see his engagement as he follows your gaze with his and the small nods of encouragement show his interest in what you are telling him.
After recalling a helicopter ride that nearly ended in an accident. You animatedly use your hands to re-enact the close call. As your story comes to a close, you put your hands back down heavily to your sides when you suddenly feel Cloud's resting hand under yours. As if your actions are synchronised, you both look down at your overlapping fingers, then straight up into each other's blushing faces. You snatch your hand up, embarrassment radiating from every pore while Cloud slowly lifts his to rub the back of his head, ruffling his blond spikes in bewilderment.
You both chuckle awkwardly. Pushing past the embarrassment, you explain that it is late and that you should head back. You peep sheepishly at Cloud through your lashes and find his gaze already fixed on you. You see him catch himself and blink a few times to come back to the present.
You flush under his gaze but stand quickly as you do not know what to do with yourself. You shiver slightly in the night breeze as Cloud stands and regards you while making his way over to the ladder. He waits for you to shuffle over carefully but you insist he goes first. You did not want to hold him up. He agrees and steps down a few rungs and then kicks his feet out to slide all the way down in one liquid motion.
That was cool you think to yourself. You do not want Cloud to have to watch you slowly make your way down one rung at a time and so even though you have never done it before you decide to copy his move. Once you are a few rungs down, you take a deep breath and let go. Somehow your foot gets caught on a rung at one point and you find yourself free falling the rest of the way. You do not have time to think as you clench your eyes tightly shut, preparing yourself for the inevitable impact. However, it never comes. You open one eye to find yourself hovering safely a few feet above the ground.
When you realise that Cloud had caught you, one arm behind your back and the other tucked under your legs, you cannot help but giggle. You throw your arm over your eyes to hide from Cloud's amused stare.
"Thanks," You mutter suppressing your laugh as Cloud sets you down gently back on the ground. You smell his fresh scent, triggering memories of when you first met.
"I need to practise that a bit more." You add, chuckling shyly at Cloud.
He nods.
"But only when I'm with you." He follows up unexpectedly.
His intimate words leave you speechless so you just timidly nod your head in agreement.
On the walk back to Seventh Heaven, you ask Cloud what he is up to tomorrow and he says that Chocobo Sam has a job for him. At the mention of the word chocobo, your face lights up and you plead to Cloud to take you along. Cloud says he will think about it in the endearing way he does when he feigns disinterest.
"Thank you for a lovely night, Cloud." You say to him with a small smile as he walks you back. You head into Seventh Heaven feeling his gaze on your back as you close the door behind you.