*Colby's POV*
"How about Hope?" I suggested, Leighton and I bouncing baby names off of each other for the past hour.
"Hope Brock sounds horrible" Leighton once again disagreed.
"But if you tossed a middle name into there? It would split it up" I reminded her, Leighton rolling her eyes.
"No one is going to call her Hope middle name Brock her entire life. How often do we use G's middle name?" She asked, my mouth staying shut, "Exactly. I don't like Hope. What about..... Jolina?" She suggested, my nose wrinkling as I shook my head, "Mackenzie?"
"Mackenzie Brock? No. What were some baby names you had for Gemma?" I asked, Leighton scrolling through her phone.
"I don't fucking remember. That was like five years ago and I'm pretty sure I was dating my ex"
"Oh the dark ages, huh?" I joked, Leighton flipping me off.
"Heather? No... Faith? No... Oh! Courtney-"
"No" I cut her off, Leighton's jaw dropping.
"Why not?"
"I'm a social media influencer. I refuse for the world to find out my baby has the same name as a Kardashian" I stated, leaving no room for argument, only to hear Leighton laugh.
I glanced back over to her, seeing she was still scrolling.
"Anna? No. I like longer names" She mumbled to herself, "Ophelia? Ophelia Brock?" Leighton checked in, my head shaking. "Why not?"
"Sounds weird with Gemma"
"They don't have to match, Colby"
"Oh. So you're going to introduce our kids to your friends as Gemma and Ophelia?"
"Why not?"
"I don't like it"
"Okay, well you could've just said that instead of throwing a fit about them not matching"
"I didn't throw a fit" I huffed, Leighton ignoring me as she listed another name.
"Selena?"
"As in Gomez?"
"Not exactly"
I shook my head, Leighton groaning, "We're getting nowhere"
"Well stop picking shitty names"
"They're not shitty!"
"They're pretty shitty, babe" I chuckled, Leighton taking a deep breath through her nose.
"How about Olivia?"
"Olivia Brock? Eh"
"Oh my god! Colby, this child is going to be nameless!"
"Leighton, I'm sure we'll figure it out. What if you looked at unisex names?"
"Dillion"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Dillion Brock? Do you want her to get bullied?"
"Whatever. We could always do with a Y. Dylan, with a Y?"
"Still no"
"God you're impossible"
"I'm impossible?" I chuckled, Leighton nodding. "I'm not the one suggesting shitty names like Dylan"
"Dylan isn't a shitty name" She argued back, my lips staying sealed as I slowed the car at the intersection, awaiting the greenlight. "Parker?"
"Parker's cute"
"Gemma and Parker" Leighton tested out, "Is Parker too boyish next to Gemma's name?" Leighton pondered aloud.
"I don't think so?"
"It doesn't give you little brother vibes? Compared to little sister vibes?"
"Well clearly you think so, so move on"
"But we like Parker?"
"I think Parker is cute, but you clearly have an issue with it. We can leave it on the table, but list another name"
"Hm... Zoe? Zoe Brock?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Gemma and Zoe?" I questioned, catching a frown on Leighton's face.
"Yeah, what about it? It sounds cute"
"Zoe. Zoe. Zoe Brock. Gemma and Zoe. This is my daughter, Zoe" I tested out, Leighton giggling. "I mean, it's better than Dylan"
"Oh my god! Get over the Dylan thing!" Leighton laughed, a slight whine to her voice. "So we're keeping Zoe?"
"Sure"
"Okay.... how about Riley? Riley is cute"
"Riley Brock" I tested, "Riley? Riley and Gemma?" I questioned, Leighton nodding. "I mean, it's alright. I'm not in love with it or anything"
"You see what I mean? Naming a baby is so hard! What about Cameron?"
"Cameron Brock? No. I don't like the C, B, sound"
"You're so weird" She chuckled.
"It sounds weird" I defended myself, Leighton giggling to herself.
"So does that mean all C names are out of question?"
"Probably"
"But what if we really like a C name?"
"Then we'll add it to the list"
"God, this is annoying" she grumbled.
Leighton and I spent most of our trip debating different names, marking down ones we liked to circle back too.
"I'm getting so much Deja vu. It feels so weird to be back" Leighton noted, our car right behind Logan and Cynthia's as we pulled up to the all too familiar Airbnb. "I still can't believe I hung out with your YouTuber friends and participated in your dumb videos when I was pregnant. I really was trying to befriend your ass"
"We should watch those videos again" I chuckled, turning off the car, seeing Logan step out of his car and start to greet us as Leighton collected her things, struggling to grasp her giant ass water bottle she got when we stopped at a Gas Station for her to pee.
"Hey! You have the keys right?" He asked as I opened the car door, stepping out and digging the correct key out of my pocket, passing it to him.
"Can you grab my stuff? I need to pee like no tomorrow" Leighton begged and I nodded, watching her awkwardly run to her brother who was unlocking the place.
The sound of tires against the rocky terrain got me to turn around, Sam and Kat coming into view as I popped open the trunk, grabbing the two suitcases.
"I can't believe we're back!" Sam yelled out his window, putting the car into park.
"I know! Leighton and I were just talking about that! I feel like this is where it all started" I spoke in astonishment, turning to look at the unreal castle behind us.
"I was telling Kat that I feel like we have to film here. Even if it's just for ourselves, to have that like.. memory comparison, ya know?"
"Oh my god!" I laughed, "Leighton was just talking about how she can't believe she filmed our dumb videos with us"
"Hey! They weren't dumb! If I recall, she fucking won that hide and seek game" He laughed, stepping out of the car to pull me into a hug.
Sam, Kat and I met Logan, Cynthia and Leighton in the Airbnb, April and Kevin sadly weren't able to get the time off to join us.
"I'll fight you to the master, I swear to god Colby!" Kat warned, slipping her shoes off and racing me up the stairs.
She ran straight down the hall, my quickened steps right behind her, only to abruptly stop, seeing Leighton laying in her little hobbit hole.
"Hey" I panted, my heart attempting to beat right out of my chest from racing up the stairs, "What are you doing? I thought we were getting the master?" I questioned, leaning against the door frame as I attempted to catch my breath.
"Just wanted to sit here again. I uh, it uh.. feels surreal. Last time I was here, I was pregnant with Gemma, and now I'm pregnant with our own little one" I smiled softly, her hand rubbing against the fabric of her shirt, caressing the bump. "I remember sitting here, journaling about hanging out with you guys and what I thought life was going to be like" She spoke softly, her hand running across the blue patched quilt, "This feels like a dream, and not a like.. I really wanted to come here and can't believe it's happening dream, but a like....... time warp back to five years ago"
"I know what you mean. I remember sitting right here, and you declaring I had a foot fetish" I chuckled, standing at the end of the bed.
"The verdicts still out on that one Brock" She giggled, shifting to lay down on the bed, my hand reaching out for her foot, dragging her down to me, my body leaning forward to rest the palms of my hands on either side of her. "I don't remember last time being this intimate" She spoke softly, pulling a boyish like grin out from me.
"I don't remember last time you having a ring on your finger vowing to be mine forever, and your womb to be carrying our love child" I let my nose brush against hers, Leighton's nose wrinkling.
"Did you have to say womb and love child?"
"Mhm" I hummed into her neck, Leighton shivering from the sensation.
"The last time I had sex here, it was with Ariya"
"We're not talking about that" I grumbled, hating the idea of her sleeping with one of my friends.
"Someone's jealous" She hummed, her hands moving underneath my shirt, her nails teasing the skin on my back.
"As I should be" I scoffed, "You're mine, and you let someone else have you"
"Hey! That was before I knew you liked me" She defended herself, her hands slipping into the back of my jean pockets.
"Haven't you heard the term, boys are mean to girls on the playground because they like them?"
"That's a load of bullshit. Boys are just pricks who have nothing better to do with their time than pull a girl's hair and make her cry. It still stands true even at 26 years old" She raised a brow at me, grinning when I scoffed.
"Girls are just teases who tell you one thing and do another"
"Oh? You want to go there?" She warned, my lips folding shut. "That's what I thought, pretty boy. Now get off me before I knee you in the balls"
"Come on. Let's go find a room that will sleep us both" I offered my hand, Leighton eyeing me.
"Who said I want to sleep with you?"
"My baby that you're willingly carrying is my first guess" I shook my hand at her, Leighton rolling her eyes as she grabbed my hand, allowing me to pull her up.
I grunted slightly, Leighton glaring, "Don't you fucking start or I will sleep in my hobbit hole"
"I didn't mean to" I laughed, Leighton appearing annoyed. "Leigh, baby, wait-" I rushed, grabbing her arm and wrapping them around her, trapping her against me, "I didn't mean to. It was the angle, I swear"
"Mhm. If you know what's good for you you'll let me go"
"Leigh" I whined, Leighton groaning, her head resting against my shoulder, her back to my chest. "I win" I murmured only to feel her elbow jab me in the stomach, setting her free, "Hey!" I groaned.
"I warned you" She laughed, her hand gripping the door frame before turning the corner.
~
"Do you know how happy I am that this baby allows you to have pizza?" Sam said, grabbing another slice of our oh so delectable choice of dinner.
"Oh, you and me both!" Leighton practically moaned biting into the pizza.
"Do you think it's the grease and cheese?" Cynthia questioned, "When I was pregnant with Harper, I hated seeing melted cheese for months"
"It was honestly the smell, so I don't know, but I am very pleased that is not the case at this moment. I felt so high maintenance anytime they'd ask me what I wanted because I couldn't eat pizza"
"Leighton, you are high maintenance" I teased, her jaw dropping as her hand came to cup under her chin, catching the stringy cheese, all of us laughing.
"I am not!"
"Just a little bit" I pinched my thumb and pointer finger close together.
"How? I-" she paused, her jaw still dropped.
"It's alright Leighton, we still love you" Logan teased, Leighton glaring over at him.
"How am I high maintenance? Because if I recall, I did my best to try and get along with everyone- oh, I'm hearing it"
I snickered, "When I first met you, you always had your nails done, your makeup on-"
"And?" She interrupted, "What's wrong with wanting to look pretty?"
"Nothing is wrong with wanting to look pretty, babe, it's just, you don't like to show your bare self-"
"Well not in front of my brother"
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" I laughed, Cynthia choking on her pizza.
"To be fair, Cynthia paid for the nails. Cynthia, back me up here" Leighton turned to look at her sister in law.
"I did, but that's because it was our bonding time since Logan and I were dating. It was our only time away from this one" her thumb pointed at Logan next to her, "Where we could gossip without him interrupting"
"We should start that again. I can finally afford to pay it myself"
"What if we looked for a place around here? Kat, would you want to join us? Have some girl time whilst the boys have their boy time?" Cynthia asked, catching Kat mid bite of her pizza. "Think of it like a birthday gift from Leigh and I" Cynthia passed me a sickening sweet smile.
What is she doing?
"Uh, yeah, sure, that sounds fun" Kat passed a smile, the room falling quiet until Logan sparked a conversation with Sam and I about our plans for the upcoming year.
Once the sun began to go down the six of us walked out onto the stone patio where an enclosed fire pit was, Logan and Sam setting it up whilst Leighton, Kat and I grabbed the s'mores stuff.
"Please be careful" I begged Leigh, watching her step around a few of the chairs to sit between Cynthia and I.
"I'm fine" She waved me off, not settling the flutter in my stomach at all.
"Leighton, please, just, there's an open flame and you're a klutz"
"Okay, I'll be careful. I'll just make you get up and grab me things" She smirked, leaning back against the metal chair, popping open the box of graham crackers.
"That I can do. Whatever keeps you from falling period, let alone into fire" I muttered, Cynthia passing out the sticks, skipping Leighton.
"I still can't believe you don't like marshmallows" Kat stated, happily opening the bag and placing one on her stick.
"I'm here for the graham crackers. You guys got the good ones" Leighton cracked the cracker in half, taking a bite.
"The good ones?" I questioned, unable to see the label from how dark it was.
"Mhm. The honey ones"
"I thought they only came in the honey version?" I grabbed a graham cracker, Leighton shaking her head. "Hm. Well you learn something new every day" I chuckled, all of us sticking our marshmallows in.
"Can I do one? Will someone eat it?" Leighton asked, looking around our circle.
"Nope. Last time I let you make me a s'more, you put... shit, what was it?" Logan looked over at Leighton who was already starting to giggle.
"I spread marmite on his crackers" She giggled, Logan fake gagging.
"Ohhh! That's disgusting" Sam gagged, "You're actually evil. Colby, did you know you were marrying the devil?"
"I mean, it's his mistake for taking something from Leighton" I laughed, Leighton having a proud grin on her face.
"Do you guys remember that horrendous drink you made me?"
"Yes! Brennen was annoyed you ate his snack" Sam laughed, Kat and Cynthia caught in their own conversation as Logan excused himself from the group.
"Dude, those were so good! God, what were they?"
"I don't know, this was like five years ago!" Sam exclaimed, pushing a marshmallow onto Leighton's stick.
"Double or nothing Samuel! Come on now. This isn't amateur hour" Leighton scolded, Sam sliding a second marshmallow onto her stick. "Who's eating this?"
"I'll eat it" I volunteered, Leighton nodding, my legs spreading, allowing her to stand between them to roast her marshmallow, my hands holding her hips as the fear of her toppling into the fire rattled my veins.
"Woah! Hey!" Sam abruptly shouted, startling me.
"What?" I questioned, peaking around Leighton's hip.
"You can't just shove it in the fire!" He lectured, Leighton's posture straightening.
"I'm too impatient to let it—"
"No" Sam interrupted, shaking his head, "What kind of animal burns their marshmallow on purpose?! You said you wanted to roast a marshmallow"
"Okay, what are you? S'mores police?"
"Yes, yes I am! Colby! Look who you're marrying!" Sam complained, Leighton laughing with a head shake as she put her marshmallow back into the fire, pulling it out as the reddish orange flame crisped the outside, blowing it out.
"Do you care that it's burnt?" Leighton questioned; the motion of Kat standing up to burn her own catching my attention.
"It doesn't matter"
"Do you want it on a cracker or on its own?"
"Here" I opened my mouth, Leighton's eyes widening.
"For real? It's hot"
"Well no shit, it was on fire" I laughed, opening my mouth again, waiting.
"I'm getting flashbacks to that time you put juice in your mouth and then fucking poured it into mine"
"Shut up and give me the marshmallow or you're banned from roasting"
colbybrocksecret: "What kind of animal burns their marshmallow on purpose?" - @samgolbach
~
"You look so pretty, baby" I hummed, Leighton's glorious bump on show as she stood in front of me in just a bra and the sweatpants she was wearing earlier.
"This belly is definitely bigger than when I was pregnant with Gemma" her hand caressed her stomach.
My head shook, "You were definitely bigger with Gemma"
"Excuse me?! Colby!" She gasped.
"What? You were a lot bigger when you were in delivery"
"Colby! I'm talking about for how far along I am. 5 months with G, I was a lot smaller than I am now with your baby"
"God, you're halfway through already?" I exhaled, feeling like everything has gone by so fast.
"Mhm. Our little baby girl is already half cooked in here" She smiled, my hands holding the side of her belly as we looked in the mirror above the dresser.
"I can't believe you're doing this again. I recall you saying you were never having a baby ever again after Gemma's delivery, and now you want to do a home birth? No meds?" My brow raised, Leighton's cheeks turning crimson.
"That's the plan"
"Are you prepared for that?" I asked, Leighton's tongue poking out to wet her lips as her head shook.
"I don't even know where I'm doing it. I mean, I could do it at my parents house, but wouldn't that be a lot? The other option is at our apartment.. and uh, I don't think our neighbors want that"
"Silly option number three" I hesitantly began, Leighton's face masking confusion, "We buy a house together"
"Colby" She sighed, my hopes and dreams immediately getting squashed, "We don't even live together right now"
"Hey! That was your choice!" I noted, my hands dropping from her waist, taking a few steps back.
"You know why I did that"
"Leighton, be honest with me. Are you ever moving back home?" I asked the hundred million dollar question, holding my breath as I analyzed her movements.
Her breath hitched as her shoulders tensed, taking a few Mississippi seconds before turning around to face me, exhaling through her nose, "I want to"
"Okay? And what does that mean?"
"It means I want to. I want to be with you, to have a house with you, to do life with you.. I'm just... I'm nervous. I'm nervous to commit again and repeat last time. History lately appears to be going in a vicious cycle and I just, I don't want to repeat this again" She emphasized, reaching down to pull an oversized shirt over her head, pulling her hair out of the neck of the shirt, letting it cascade down the front of her chest.
"I'd undo it if I could. You know that, right?"
"I'd like to hope you would. Did uh, community service go well?" She asked quietly, her finger spinning her ring.
"Was fine" I muttered, not wanting to talk about my quite literal walk of shame, slipping my rings off my fingers.
"What did they have you do?"
"The cliché road side trash pickup"
"Ah. I had to do work inside of the prison. It was like a prison job without the pay before I was fully let go" Leighton confessed, surprising me that she was opening up about her jail time.
I decided to not push it, knowing it was extremely rare for her to share this information, my head nodding in acknowledgement that I had heard her.
I tugged off my shirt, tossing it towards the open suitcase before sliding down my skinny jeans.
"I can feel you staring" I mumbled, kicking them off.
"Oh, I can't stare?" Leighton jokes, crawling onto the bed.
"I never said that. Do I have to wear pants?"
"Well you're not sleeping nude"
"No. Like can I just wear my underwear?" I asked, Leighton barely acknowledging me as she plugged in her phone. "Leigh?"
"That's fine. Just don't wake up with an erection because I'm too pregnant to have self restraint" She shimmied down the bed, pulling the covers up over her bump.
I smirked, sliding into bed next to her, copying her movement as I got comfortable.
We laid in silence for a moment before I spoke up, "This feels weird"
"What does?"
"Being in the same bed again" I mumbled, Leighton's bedside lamp giving off a dim yellow glow to the room.
"Oh. I haven't really registered it to be honest. I mean, it's been kind of weird all day. Feels like old times"
"It does, doesn't it" I hummed, shifting to face her, "I've missed you, you know?"
"I've missed you too" She replied, sounding half ingenious due to scrolling through her phone.
"Please come home" I begged softly, Leighton looking down at me.
"Colby" She sighed, "Is this what this trip is about? You begging me to move back in?"
I shook my head, "Leighton, please. I'm already missing so much and I know I royally messed up" I paused, my brain annoyingly reminding me I have yet to tell her my biggest screw up. I cleared my throat, "But I miss you. I miss Gemma. I miss being a family. I miss coming home to you guys, and tucking G in at night, and cuddling you to bed"
"I'll think about it, okay?" She said and I nodded, knowing this was the best I was going to get.
I woke up the next morning to Leighton's body drifting towards mine, our limbs kept to ourselves, but a beautiful sleeping face just out of reach of being able to easily lean over and kiss her.
Every fiber of my being wanted to go back to every horrific choice I've made and undo it.
All night last night I just laid there, listening to her soft breathing and occasional snore, pretending to be asleep when she got up to go pee around 3 or 4 in the morning.
I held my breath when she laid back in bed, silently praying that she would inch closer to me if she thought I was asleep, but that wasn't the case. Her awake mind slept closer to the edge than her asleep brain, where she had drifted towards me.
I walked into our kitchen, Cynthia and Logan sat at the island eating what appeared to be frozen french toast sticks and scrambled eggs.
"Good morning" Cynthia greeted me as I opened the fridge.
"Mornin'" I grumbled, my voice gruff from the lack of use.
"Leighton still asleep?" She asked and I nodded. "I called around 9 this morning to a salon near us, so later today the girls and I are going to head out. Any idea what you boys will do whilst we're away?" Cynthia asked, looking between Logan and I.
Logan shrugged, my lips staying sealed as I poured cereal into a bowl. "You guys are not morning people" Cynthia spoke to herself, scraping the end of her breakfast into the trash before washing her dish.
"Sorry" I mumbled, Logan following Cynthia's lead. "Do you uh by chance know what Leighton would want for breakfast?" I asked, feeling like a horrible fiancé for not knowing her do's and don'ts of pregnancy food.
"I don't, I'm sorry" She apologized and I nodded, the drawer slamming shut as I placed my spoon into my bowl.
"Don't worry about it"
"Everything going alright between you two?" She asked, Logan making himself scarce.
"Define alright" I half heartedly chuckled, Cynthia frowning as she joined me back at the island.
"Still planning on getting married?" She asked, making my very tired brain suddenly alert.
"What? Has Leighton told you otherwise?" I worried, Cynthia's eyes widening.
"Shit! I'm sorry!" she freaked, "She hasn't said anything! I just..." shit. Does Leighton not want to get married? Is Cynthia covering for her? "She had talked a little bit about her concerns and things, I just didn't know where you two stood now. I mean, you slept in the same bed, right? That has to mean something" Cynthia tried to save her reaction, my jaw clenched as I chewed my cereal, nodding.
"We shared the bed, yes. I don't know if you can clarify it as sleeping together, no. Leighton practically slept thirty feet away from me unless she was asleep and the weight of our bodies causing the dip in the mattress to make her roll closer"
"So no makeup sex then?" She joked, her smirk flattening out when I sighed, shaking my head. "How bad is it Colby? Be honest with me, what happened?"
"What has she told you?" I questioned, walking on eggshells due to Cynthia basically being Leighton's best friend, whether Leighton wants to admit it or not.
"Not much. She just expressed her concerns about whatever happened and how she felt about you" Cynthia shrugged, my eyes squinting.
Is she lying to me? Does she know more?
"Let's just say.. Leightons actions are valid" I replied quietly, shame filling my chest as I took another bite of cereal.
"Her actions? She seemed okay earlier?"
"She hasn't been my biggest fan, and it's deserved"
"Well, what did you do?" She asked, my nerves beginning to boil.
"I don't want you to hate me as well" I admitted, Cynthia leaning on the palm of her hand to look at me, her elbow resting against the countertop.
"Colby, I could never hate you. I mean, I've seen you and Leighton go through it all, and we have even had our own moments. Shit happens sometimes. I mean, what's the worst you've done to her? It's not like you'd ever cheat on her" She laughed, my eyes widening, "You for years could barely give her enough room to breathe" She continued, my brain beginning to reel at the four little words she just laughed at.
Trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I had supposedly cheated, and I had to confess to Leighton still felt like an impossible task. I mean, how does one practically confess a sin that he can't even recall? How fucking stupid do I look having to lean on Sam to recall the basic facts he walked in on?
Attempting to contact Chloe felt like a lost cause. I'm sure she got what she wanted and left.
I never thought she'd be the girl to do that. Hell, I never thought I'd be capable of doing that.
Having cheated in the past, even if our relationship was basically done, I really never saw myself sitting in this position. Loving Leighton felt so easy. Even in the hard moments, it was harder to walk away from her than stand by her, and now here I was, sat next to her sister in law arguing with my own brain over how the fuck to tell the love of my life that I did possibly the worst thing imaginable.
How do you come back from breaking someone's trust this bad?
I'm so far gone that the light at the tunnel could barely be found, yet here I was scraping the end of the barrel for any sign of hope that all of this could work out. That if I was nice to her, and loved her the way she deserved, that we could just overlook this.
"Colby?" Cynthia's hand waved in front of my face, my head shaking me out of the trance I was in.
"Hm? Sorry, what?" I fumbled, Cynthia's face scrunched up in worry.
"You alright? You just zoned out for like five minutes. I was talking and then I noticed you stopped reacting. You good?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry. Was just uh, thinking"
"Well? Are you going to tell me what you did?" She asked, my lip getting caught between my teeth.
"I uh, I don't think I should. Sorry" I mumbled, excusing myself, leaving my bowl on the counter as I swiftly exited.
I took a seat on one of the balconies, staring at the morning sun as I wracked my brain for any possible way I could come clean without destroying everything I've worked towards.
Is there really any way to come clean without crumbling everything beneath me?
What would it take for her to understand? To hear me out?
Not only is she Leighton, but she's pregnant Leighton, and pregnant Leighton is scary.
She's moody, dramatic, she holds more grudges than non-pregnant Leighton..
but I can't hold off, can I?
I mean I have to tell her.... right?
But what about the baby? What then? Would she withhold me from seeing my babies birth? Especially with it being a homebirth....
Would she ban me from the birth? From seeing my baby at all? The same way she has with Gemma?
The idea of how much control she has over me is fucking terrifying. One wrong move and everything I've worked for these past five years just vanished. I'm not talking every accomplishment, but my literal family.
The girl I'm head over heels for, the almost four year old I'd die for, and my unborn child who doesn't even know how fucking messy our lives were... it could all be gone with a little of few to no words.
"What's got that vein poking out of your forehead this early in the day?" Leighton asked, my body jolting at the new sound. "Good lord Colby" she laughed, "Why are you so jumpy?"
"Nothing. Just thinking"
"Well stop thinking so hard" She snickered, leaning against the balcony, "Cynthia told me we're getting our nails done later. Any requests?" She asked, shifting to face me as I leaned back against the chair.
"Requests?"
"Mhm"
"You want my opinion?"
"Why? You picked cool nails that one time"
"What one time?" I laughed, Leighton's eyes rolling, taking a seat in the chair next to me.
"You don't remember when you let me paint your nails?"
"Oh"
"Yeah oh" She mocked, chuckling.
"That was a long time ago" I replied quietly, silence falling between us.
"Colby?"
"Hm?" I hummed, keeping my eyes locked on the horizon in front of me.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine"
"Ah. The classic I'm fine excuse. I thought we were going to work on our communication skills?"
"Leighton" I warned, Leighton scoffing, "Colby. You said you were going to work on it, and I'm trying to be here for you"
"Oh. You mean the same way I was trying to be there for you with Aaliyah, and you decided that you didn't get to talk about it?"
"Jesus, did you wake up on the fucking floor this morning? What's your problem?"
I exhaled a deep breath through my nose, turning to look at Leighton, "I'm just saying I would appreciate the same courtesy of leaving me alone when I want to be left alone, that I've given you"
"Courtesy? Are you feeling okay?" She chuckled, stretching her jaw to the side before licking her lower lip, leaning back against the chair, her arms crossed over her chest as she attempted to cross her leg, only to realize her belly was in the way, extending her legs to cross her ankles. "Alright, damn, I'll stop asking you about it" She huffed, the silence beginning to linger before she cleared her throat, "Are you going to be mad at me all day or? I just," she paused, shifting to sit forward, starting to talk with her hands, showing me how impatient she was becoming, "I got up like ten minutes ago, and you're already mad at me? I'm just confused how we got from point A to point B so quickly?"
"I thought you were done asking about it?" I griped, Leighton's lips pursing as she nodded, pushing herself out of the chair, heading back inside.
I groaned, running my hands through my hair.
God damnit.
By the time I walked downstairs, the girls had left and Sam and Logan were chilling in the family room, Sam looking up over his laptop as I entered, "Hey. You look like shit"
"Thanks man, I feel like it too" I chuckled, my jaw tightening as I plopped down on the couch next to him.
"Why do you look and feel like shit?"
"Because I'm a shitty person, Samuel"
"You're not a shitty person Colby. What's got you in a funk this time? This trip was your idea"
I eyed Logan who was already looking at me with a glimmer of skepticism written all over his face.
"The usual" I mumbled, pulling out my phone.
"So are we all going to sit here on our phones or do you guys want to do something?" Logan questioned, giving me a knowing look.
"And what do you have in mine Mr. Fox?" I teased.
"We could go out to a bar?" He suggested, Sam immediately shaking his head.
"We're staying alcohol free this weekend" Sam shot down.
"What? Why?" Logan questioned.
"Leighton's pregnant" Sam tossed back immediately.
"And sober" I chimed in, Logan giving us weird looks.
"Leighton doesn't care if we drink"
Sam and I stayed quiet knowing he was right, Logan speaking up again, "Plus, isn't that what guys trips are for? Getting drunk and having fun?" he joked, Sam eyeing me.
"It's 1pm?" I tried, Logan chuckling to himself, "It's 5'oclock somewhere"
"If you want to go out to a bar we can" I shrugged, Sam's eyes narrowing at me as Logan shoved himself off the couch.
"Great! I'll go get ready. When do we want to leave?"
"Um.. half hour?" I suggested, Logan nodding before excusing himself.
"You for real, Colby?" Sam spoke harshly.
"What? I won't drink" I promised, Sam shaking his head.
"Yeah right. As if Logan will let you get away with that"
"Hey. I have freewill ya know" I grumbled back, Sam closing his laptop and setting it on the couch cushion next to him.
"Yeah, freewill that got you fucking arrested and practically ruined your relationship" He whispered harshly.
My eyes rolled, "I'll be fine"
"How do you plan on not drinking?"
I stayed quiet for a second and right as Sam's lips parted to speak again, I beat him to it, "Sober driver!"
"You? Sober driving?"
"Yeah, and?"
"Really?"
"What?" I questioned, my eyebrows tugging together.
"You know he's going to try and get you to drink"
"And? I won't"
"You can't" Sam reiterated, "You have a law to abide by. You're not supposed to be drinking for a while"
"And I won't. What are you so concerned for?"
"I just don't think we should be testing the limits. Last time you went out drinking with your friends, you woke up in bed with your ex"
"Correction, you woke me up"
"That's worse Colby!" Sam exclaimed.
"Look, we've got like twenty five minutes before we need to leave. Let's just go get ready. I'll be fine" I reminded him, Sam scoffing yet agreeing, the two of us disappearing upstairs to get dressed.
~
"God those are strong!" Logan winced, setting the shot glass against the bar top. "You lucked out" He told me, choking on the drink he just swallowed by coughing, his closed fist hitting his chest as he sputtered, "God, what was in that?"
"Straight tequila" Sam laughed, Logan shaking his head.
"I haven't drank that shit since my first army party. We got so drunk and woke up hungover the next morning, barely able to function for our drills" he chuckled, drinking a chaser.
"Wussing out already?" I teased, Logan scoffing.
"Say the man drinking a Pepsi!"
"Hey, designated driver!" I shook my glass at him, the dark liquid sloshing against the sides a little.
"One drink won't kill you" he teased, turning away to order something else to drink.
"I'm already walking on thin ice with Leighton. I think it's best if I stay sober tonight. But hey, that means you can get as fucked up as you want" I noted, Logan shaking his head, his elbows moving to lean back against the bar.
"I can't hang like I used to. I'm getting old man, and I've got a kid now. Definitely not in my army college days anymore" He snickered, the bartender passing him his drink.
"How is the kid thing going for you guys?" I asked, Logan laughing with a head shake.
"The kid thing? Colby, you also have a kid. You see my niece more than I do" He laughed, my face falling. Has Leighton not told him? "Harpers' been good. I'm definitely nervous of that whole angelic first kid and demonic second kid thing" he chuckled, taking a long sip of his drink.
"The what?" I questioned, catching Sam slinking away from us towards the other end of the bar.
"You know how they say your first kid makes you want a second, and the second kid makes you want to wear a condom for the rest of your life?" He joked, his face falling into a serious mask, his head tilting, "You haven't heard that?" I shook my head, "Oh, shit man" he laughed, his head thrown back, "Good luck" he laughed.
"Is it really that bad?"
"I mean, that's what they say, but hey, what do I know? I've only got one and that little angel rules my world, I can tell you that much"
"If Gemma's the angelic one, I'm afraid for our next little girl" I nervously chuckled, bringing the straw to my lips as I glanced next to me, Sam and the bartender at the end were talking, Logan's voice bringing my attention back to him.
"It's exciting though, right?" He asked.
"Hm?"
"Having another baby. I mean, Leighton's always been indifferent about kids even when we were little, but I think that has to do with growing up with the twins. Multiples are a lot, and Leighton was used to being the baby for a few years and then here came two others that stole her spotlight... I think that affected her way more than she would lead on. I honestly was a little worried when she told me she was pregnant; for multiple reasons. One, her and Gabe were a mess. I mean, she'll tell you they weren't, but he really wasn't the best to her. Our dad used to make fun of him all the time for his inverted frosted tips as he'd called them, and douchey jersey shore style" He snickered, "But hey, look at you guys now" he motioned towards me, "You guys are engaged, living together, expecting another kid. It's really working out for you guys and I'm happy to call you a brother-in-law, Colby" He raised his drink to me before taking another long sip. "Speaking of, are you guys planning your wedding? Should I be expecting my RSVP plus one in the mail?" he joked, unknowingly digging his knife even deeper into my chest, the twist of his hand causing the air to get knocked out of my lungs, my throat clearing as I took another sip, really wishing this wasn't just a Pepsi.
"We uh— Leighton um— uh, she just.. She has a lot on her plate, you know?" I stuttered, "With everything going on with your mom and uh, having a baby and all that, I think it's um, been put on the back burner a little bit" I slowly spat out, my eyes falling down to my glass as my pointer finger traced the rim of it.
"Ah. So uh, feel free to tell me if I'm crossing a line, but uh, what's the real reason you're not drinking today? Worse case we call an uber" He tossed a small smile towards me, taking another sip of his drink, my eyes drifting back towards Sam, seeing he was sitting by himself at the end of the bar, drinking.
What the hell?
"I just thought it would be in my best interest to stay sober tonight" I shrugged, tugging on my lower lip.
"Hm. Well, whenever you're ready to tell me, I'm open ears" He shot a supportive closed lipped grin.
~
"You smell like straight whiskey" Cynthia laughed, pulling Logan away from her hug.
"You guys went drinking?" Leighton questioned, looking between Logan and I.
"We had fun" Logan grinned, "Well, Sam and I had fun. This one was a party pooper" he nodded towards me, a look of relief washing over Leighton's face, her eyes meeting mine as she mouthed "Thank you" and I sent a curt nod.
The six of us sat in the living room, Leighton showing me her nails.
"I went with shorter rounded ones this time" She showed, "I didn't want much hindrance since I'm pregnant and have a four year old at home" She smiled, "I thought the pink was cute? You know, 'cause we just found out it's a girl" She beamed, holding her nails up so I could see.
"It pops against your tattoo" I noticed, seeing the shadowing in her rose tattoo on the top of her hand pop out more against the delicate pink brushed against her nails.
"Awe thanks" She grinned, looking down at her tattoo, her eyes trailing up the sleeve of her arm. "Should've gotten my toes done, huh?" She teased, wiggling her toes that were covered by a black ankle sock.
My lips parted out of surprise, "All I said is it made your tattoo pop! I don't have a foot fetish!" I laughed, catching everyone else's attention.
"Foot fetish?" Cynthia's nose wrinkled.
"Stop! Leighton Rae!" I hissed, Leighton cackling next to me.
"Oh my god!" She panted, struggling to breath from laughing, "Shit!" She hissed, her hand digging into my thigh as she tried to push herself up off the floor, wobbling a little before landing on her feet and rushing to the bathroom, flipping the group off as we laughed.
"I don't have a foot fetish" I noted, wanting to clear the air before this oh so not fun fact spread.
"Suuurree" Sam expressed, my jaw dropping.
"I don't!"
"Just for Leighton huh?" Kat teased, joining in on their fun.
"No!" I disagreed.
"Ew, that's my baby sister!" Logan fake gagged, Cynthia's nose still wrinkled.
"Yeah, ew Colby" She agreed, my heart starting to pick up in pace.
"I don't! This stems from the last time we were here, remember?" I looked over at Sam, knowing he was in the room.
"What?" his eyes squinted, my own eyes widening.
"Sam! You don't remember that?"
"Sorry, I don't" He shook his head, holding back a grin.
"Oh my god!"
"I can't believe I didn't know you had a foot fetish Colby!" Kat grinned.
"I don't!"
"Whatever you say, Colby" She replied in a sing-song tone, only frustrating me further.
"I don't have a foot fetish! Listen, I'll own up to anything, but a foot fetish is not one" I shook my head, my nose wrinkled as well.
I saw Leighton come back into view, my finger pointing at her, "You!" I exclaimed, stopping her in her tracks.
"What?"
"Tell them I don't have a foot fetish"
"But you do" She laughed.
Of course she wouldn't help me. She fucking started this.
"I don't!" I declared, Leighton giggling as she sat down between Kat and I. "Leighton" I warned, Leighton biting her lower lip.
"I bet you he likes to kiss her foot before fucking her" Sam muttered to Kat, Logan's eyes widening, matching my own.
"Samuel Golbach!" I hissed, Sam snickering, "I don't have a fucking foot fetish. Oh my god!" I groaned, "I regret saying I ever liked your foot tattoo"
"Are you a toe sucker Colby?" Kat asked, my frustration starting to turn into anger as Leighton's cheeks flushed and Logan's throat cleared, Cynthia snickering to herself.
"For the last time, I don't have a foot fetish"
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me" Kat sang Rhianna, my entire body wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
"For the last time, I don't have a foot fetish" I repeated, "Now can we move on? — What are you giggling at? This is your fault" I glared, Leighton giggling to herself, her lip being captured between her teeth as she tried to quiet herself, triggering arousing memories to flash through my brain.
God, not now
"I'm sorry" She apologized, attempting to stop her giggling. "I was just teasing, you know I love you, Colby, it was all fun and games" She smiled, completely oblivious to the three little words that slipped past her lips, stopping my whole world.
I love you
Everyone continued talking as I just stared at her in complete and utter shock.
It's been so long since I've heard those three beautiful words fall from her lips.
She loves me.
I felt like I could cry from pure happiness and utter pain.
She loves me. She finally said she loves me, and she doesn't even know the worst thing I've done to her.
God I can't fucking tell her now, can I?
A smile started to tug at my lips as the sound of her saying I love you played through my brain on repeat, my heart clenching at the idea as my stomach tightened.
"Colby?" Leighton nudged me, bringing me back to the conversation.
"Hm?"
"Logan asked if we were ready to make dinner? You didn't say if you were hungry or not"
"Oh, um, yeah.. I could go for some food" I hummed, Leighton nodding as Logan and Sam stood up, moving towards the kitchen.
I looked down at Leighton's hand, seeing her engagement ring shine against her beautiful skin and the pink polish of her fingers. Two fingers over on her pointer finger rested the anxiety ring that her thumb loved to spin and the infinity jeweled pendant resting against the dip of her neck, right above where the collar of her shirt rested, daring to show off the sobriety necklace.
She was littered in gifts of my love and affection, dangling those beautiful words right under my nose and she let them slip so casually.
Everything about it felt like a dream.
Her smile and laugh as she said it, the way it sounded and the way my gift of marriage brushed against my thigh.
She loves me.
After everything we've been through, she still loves me.
I leaned in against her, my lips ghosting over her ear as I whispered, "did you mean it?" watching the shiver go down her spine as she turned to look at me, confused.
"Mean what?"
"That you love me" I asked softly, not wanting the rejection to be voiced so publicly.
"What? Of course I love you" She frowned, stating it like it was the most obvious thing ever.
Of course? How was that an "of course"?
"You do?" I asked softly, hating how my insecurity was dripping off of those two words, Leighton's green eyes moving to look at my blue ones.
"I love you Colby" She repeated, her eyes staying on mine as her hand came up to cup my jaw, her thumb brushing against my cheek, her eyes flickering down to my lips then back up to my eyes before she leaned in and placed her lips on mine, kissing me for the second time in just a few weeks.
My body stayed tense, afraid of melting into the kiss, fear of this entire thing coming back to slap me in the face, only for Leighton to pull away, my eyes opening as the fear kicked in, her eyes still closed as she leaned in again, placing a few sweet pecks against my lips.
"I love you" she murmured against me, her eyes opening, the same twinkle of happiness shining as the night I proposed to her.
I love you
* * * *
Do we think Colby will ever tell her? 😬
I posted a deleted scene from Leighton's POV over in the extras book for anyone who is interested, it just seemed unnecessary and I didn't want to do a split POV so I deleted it, it's called "black sheep"
Written on: June 28th, 29th, July 1st, 2nd, 3rd 2023
Published on: July 3rd 2023
Word Count: 7880