Emilia: "Subaru, Ram and Rem were really worried."
Emilia spoke to Subaru, her silver bell voice filled with concern about the events that had just transpired. From her perspective, Subaru had just woken up at the mansion and screamed at the maid sisters.
Emilia: "They were unusually despondent, wondering if they had been impolite...."
However, for Subaru, he had just woken up after being tortured to death by the blue-haired maid Rem. His leg was cut off, and then he was beaten with chains until he was on the verge of death. Then, Rem would heal him so she could torture him some more.
From his perspective, he had just been brutally murdered and woke up to see the face of his killer staring at him.
Subaru: "Nothing happened between them and me."
However, even after being questioned about them having done something to him, he didn't say anything. From the world's perspective, they had committed no crime against Subaru. It wouldn't matter because no one would believe him.
Emilia: "Subaru, are you all right? If something's wrong, you're welcome to talk to me."
However, the silver-haired girl was still worried about Subaru. How could she not? He had recently been gravely injured helping save her from an assassin and was now acting like he had woken up from a terrible nightmare.
Subaru: "If I could tell Emilia that it's no use, that I can't take it anymore...."
How could he explain it to her? It wasn't like she knew that he could Return By Death.
Subaru: "Wait... That's it."
Emilia: "What?"
Suddenly an idea came to him, if Emilia wasn't aware that Subaru could Return By Death, he could tell her. That way, she could know what was going to happen, and they could make it out alive together.
Subaru: "All this time, I've been struggling to change things alone, but...."
Emilia: "Subaru, are you sure you're all right?"
He paused for a moment and looked at Emilia, finally knowing what he had to do.
Subaru: "There's something I want you to know."
She looked at him, ready to accept the words that were about to come out of Subaru's mouth.
Emilia: "Ok."
Subaru looked at Emilia, ready to tell her everything.
Subaru: "Emilia... Several times up until now, I've died and gone back in time."
Emilia looked at Subaru wide-eyed and shocked. Her mouth opened and closed, trying to say something, anything, but the words wouldn't come to her.
Emilia: "What? Maybe you're mistaken. It was probably a bad dream. Ya, a bad dream. Don't worry Subaru, you're awake now."
She denied his statement. It seemed impossible. How was she supposed to believe him?
Subaru: "Emilia, please... Three times at the loot house, and now three times here at the mansion."
When Emilia looked at Subaru, she could see he was trembling. It was taking everything he had to tell her. She didn't want to believe him, but seeing him like that, there was no denying it. He was telling the truth.
Her amethyst eyes widened even more. She couldn't help but remember her interactions with Subaru the previous day.
Emilia: "Is that how you knew about Puck? How you knew I lost my insignia? How you knew where to find it? And how you knew there would be an assassin there?"
Subaru: "Yes."
Subaru looked down. Unable to look at her face. What kind of expression was she making? Subaru didn't want to know.
Subaru: "I know to you, this all seems crazy. But it's the truth."
Emilia: "But why? If what you say is the truth, why would you save me? Why would you risk dying over and over again?"
She couldn't imagine it. All her life, she had been hated by the world because of her resemblance to the Witch of Envy. But here was a boy who claimed he had died multiple times just to save her, and for what possible reason?
Subaru: "It's simple. Because you saved me."
Emilia: "Huh?"
Emilia had been called all sorts of things: a Half Devil, Witch, a being whose very existence was a threat to the entire world. However, here, for the first time, someone other than her beloved father wanted to save her.
Subaru: "I was all alone. I had no idea where I was. A group of thugs attempted to mug me in an alley, but then you showed up."
While Subaru recalled his first meeting with Emilia, his face softened. It was a memory that brought him great comfort.
Subaru: "Even though your insignia was stolen, you still stopped to help me, a random stranger. Most people wouldn't do that. I also doubt they would have stayed with them after they became unconscious to see if they were alright."
The more Subaru spoke of their meeting, the more his sadness and fear from earlier disappeared.
Subaru: "Even when you came across a crying child, you still couldn't turn away. You had to help her find her parents."
Emilia was shocked. She had helped a lost child find her parents. However, it took a lot of work to get the child to not be afraid of her appearance. It seems Subaru had also encountered this crying child alongside her during their first meeting.
Subaru: "It was a day I'll never forget. I'll cherish it for the rest of my life... And the one after this one."
He briefly alludes to the fact that he may not survive for very long, which sends a shiver down Emilia's spine. She doesn't want Subaru to die.
Subaru: "How could I let someone like that die when I have the power to stop it? I may be weak, but that doesn't mean I could just let it happen. I couldn't let the only person who was kind to me, who held out their hand when no one else would, die."
There was a strength in his eyes that wasn't there before. A passion that burned so bright, it could blind those who gazed upon it.
Subaru: "Even then, how could I leave Felt and Old Man Rom to die?"
Emilia was surprised when he said those names. He also wanted to save those two from the clutches of the Bowel Hunter. Most people would disregard them as worthless dregs that society couldn't care less about, but Subaru still wanted to save them.
Subaru: "Sure, they aren't the most respectable people in the world, but everyone makes mistakes. It's not fair that they should die before accomplishing their dream."
Emilia: "Their dream?"
She didn't know that Felt and Old Man Rom had something they were working towards. Just how close did Subaru get with them in one of his loops?
Subaru: "They're trying to raise enough money to move out of the slums. It's not the most elegant dream, but it's something to work towards. How am I gonna let someone cut their lives short before they've accomplished that?"
Emilia was in awe of the boy in front of her. His determination was astounding. Even though he had been through so much pain, he still wanted to help those in front of them. Even though it meant he could die.
Emilia: "You're amazing."
Emilia could barely get the words out, but they were her true thoughts. Right now, she had nothing but respect for the boy in front of her.
Emilia: "I don't think anyone would be able to do that. To keep going after going through so much pain just for the sake of others."
While Emilia was in awe of Subaru's willingness to help others, there was another part of her that was deeply saddened.
Emilia: "However, you said you've also died three times here. Which means three times... I failed to notice there was danger, and you died because of it."
The strength in Subaru's eyes, his passion that Emilia was in awe of, disappeared in a heartbeat. While he felt empowered by his memories of Emilia, Felt, and Old Man Rom, dying was still terrifying.
Natsuki Subaru was still human, and death was painful.
The memories of his six deaths up until this point flashed through his mind. The memory of his most recent death made him shiver. The sound of chains terrified him, reminding him of how he was tortured to death. How the blue-haired maid claimed they all were just pretending to care for him, how she couldn't stand him and wanted him dead.
All because of how he smelled, how he had tried to talk with the sisters, and gain intel. Subaru was extremely suspicious, and Rem would act on her desire to kill him and protect her sister if she deemed him a big enough danger.
But what made her use a curse, the tool of an evil Shaman, against him those first two loops?
Subaru: "Unless Rem isn't the Shaman?"
It would make no sense to drain him of his mana when she could just snap his neck or use her Morningstar. That would mean Subaru had two things to deal with. An attacker outside the mansion, trying to harm those within, and a servant inside the mansion, who will kill him without a second's hesitation if he is too suspicious.
To make matters more complicated, he had to gain information to look for the Shaman, but in turn, that would make him more suspicious to Rem, who was eyeing him carefully.
The mere thought of the challenge at hand was daunting. It was enough to make him want to puke. One tiny misstep and he would die, either to the Shaman's curse, or to Rem's chains.
Emilia: "I'm sorry, Subaru. I can't seem to do anything right. I can't even help the person who saved me."
Emilia was heartbroken by the fact that Subaru died under her care. How could she even begin to rule a country if she couldn't even protect the people in front of her?
Subaru: "Don't blame your-"
Emilia: "But you still died when you weren't supposed to be in any danger."
Subaru could relate to how Emilia was feeling. However, he felt she was being unfair. How could she stop something from happening if she did not know of it? She had the Royal Selection to prepare for, after all. She was already so busy. It makes sense she wouldn't expect an attack like that to come.
Subaru: "I'm the one at fault... Even though I had an advanced warning, I still failed two more times."
Subaru felt like an idiot for not being able to stop the attack. He knew it was coming, and still, he couldn't do a thing.
Subaru: "That's just how weak I am."
Subaru looked down. He couldn't bare to look at Emilia right now. He didn't want to see how she would react to his weakness.
Subaru: "..."
Emilia: "Subaru."
Subaru looked up at Emilia. Her amethyst eyes were quivering. She was trying to hold it together, trying not to cry. But at the same time, there was a resolve there.
Emilia: "Let me help you, please."
Subaru: "..."
Emilia: "Let's solve this together. You don't have to do this alone."
Slowly her eyes gained more strength.
Emilia: "Let's work together to save everyone in the mansion, including you."
Subaru: "..."
Subaru's heart stopped beating for a moment. He was already head over heels for the silver-haired girl, but this helped cement it. At this moment, she captured his heart for a second time.
Subaru: "Ah..."
Tears slowly began to well up in his eyes.
Subaru: "Ah..."
Slowly, Emilia approached Subaru and wrapped her arms around him.
Emilia: "It's ok. You don't need to put on that tough guy act anymore."
Those softly spoken words felt so strong.
Subaru: "Ah..."
Emilia: "It's been rough, hasn't it?"
At that moment, the dam that was Natsuki Subaru, his pain, his grief, his fear, his sorrow, his anguish, burst. It all came rushing out. Like a man drowning at sea, Subaru clung to the Emilia, desperate to stay afloat.
Subaru: "Ah... Ah... Ah..."
For what felt like an eternity, Emilia quietly held a crying Natsuki Subaru as he let all the pain the world had inflicted all him, all the hardship he had endured after being summoned to this world, out.
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After Subaru composed himself, he and Emilia finally got to the matter at hand.
Subaru: "So, in order to secure victory, we need to find and deal with the Shaman."
He left out the part about the maid sisters and the Witch's Scent. There wasn't any point in bringing that up and having a potential confrontation.
Emilia: "I see. That is tricky."
Emilia thought about it, and an idea came to mind.
Emilia: "Maybe we can ask Roswaal? He's the lord of this manor. He knows a lot about magic. Maybe he can help."
Roswaal was her benefactor. He told her about the state of the kingdom and offered her a way to unfreeze the ice statues in the Ellenor Forest. If anyone knew how to beat a Shaman, it would be him.
Subaru: "Well, I guess it's worth a try. I'll do it at breakfast, Emilia-tan."
Emilia: "Ok, let's do it. Also, what is tan?
Subaru: "This again?"
For the fourth time, he explained to Emilia the nickname he gave her.
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Rem stood on the other side of the door, trying to digest what she had just heard. Normally matters regarding guests at the manor were none of her concern. However, this new guest had the Witch's Scent.
It was a powerful odor that smelled like death. This stench followed those involved with the Witch Cult, who worshiped the Witch of Envy. When this guest had been brought to the manor, it was already intense enough to make Rem's nose turn.
Rem and her twin sister Ram had stood by his bed, and the stench had worsened when he awakened. To make matters more worrisome, his reaction to seeing the faces of Rem and Ram was that of intense fear. Rem had worried that she had done something to offend this guest. Even if he was dripping with the stench of the people who destroyed her village, he was still Emilia's savior and Roswaal's guest. However, she could not shake the worry that this had to do with the Witch Cult.
Rem decided that if he tried to do something to harm Emilia or anyone else in the mansion, she would be listening in on the other side of the door, ready to put a stop to it.
However, what she overheard was more shocking than she could have imagined. If this guest was telling the truth, he had traveled back in time while in this mansion on multiple occasions. That wasn't even the worst of it. For him to activate this ability, he had to die. It truly was a grotesque power.
What was Rem to make of this? Was he lying, trying to deceive Emilia and bring chaos to the mansion? Or was he telling the truth?
His tears earlier seemed genuine, but the Witch Cult was known for being extreme. It might not be that big of a stretch to believe he was acting.
His reaction to the sisters when he awoke was troubling. Maybe they had done something to him before he died? Or perhaps it was for another reason? Either way, Rem could not bring herself to trust his words, but she could also not bring herself to deny them either.
Rem: "I should discuss this with Nee-sama."
If anyone could understand what to make of this, it was her beloved Nee-sama.
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Ram: "That is concerning."
Rem and Ram met up in one of the rooms of the Roswaal manor to discuss the new guest and the supposed ability he claimed he possessed.
Ram: "If what he say's is true, then we are in imminent danger."
Rem: "And if he's lying?"
The story that this guest had told Emilia was outlandish. You'd have to be crazy to have anyone expect to believe you. However, this guest had not only convinced Emilia, but he also had Rem unable to tell if his story was fact or fiction.
Rem: "He could have hired a Shaman to cause chaos, so he could 'show' us that he is telling the truth about his 'power.'"
Ram: "It is a possibility."
Ram could see where her little sister was coming from. It would be a great way to convince someone you had some sort of ability to tell the future.
Ram: "We'll have to wait and see. For now, let's wait for Roswaal-sama to return and watch what our guest's next steps are."
He claimed he would ask Roswaal for help during breakfast, so they would have to wait and see what he would do.
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Authors Note
Thank you for checking out this fic.
I've always wondered what would happen if Subaru could freely talk about his power without Satella's intervention. So I decided to create this fic. I'll do my best to keep the characters as close to the source material as possible. I don't want to create a fic that follows too closely to canon, but I also don't want to just go completely off course for no reason.
I don't want to create a fic where all the characters make the choices I want them to. They should only make those choices because that is what they would do in that situation. I've seen way too many fics where that is the case. I'm not perfect, so I might make mistakes, but I'll do my best to keep everything as accurate to the characters as possible and take their state of mind at the time of them making decisions.
Also, a big thank you to WolfEatHoney, he proofread this chapter, and without his help, it wouldn't be anywhere near as good.
I'll try to get new chapters out soon. I'm excited to see how this story unfolds.