☼☼☼
And Sunny Skies has to stay behind
Still he knows how to ease down slow
Everything is fine in the end
☼☼☼
Jaime's P.O.V.
June 2nd 1997
"You can't fall in love with me."
"What makes you so sure I'd fall in love with you?" Mr. Englishman smirks.
"Just you wait and see, stranger. I'll have you wrapped around my finger in no time."
"I don't doubt that," he laughs.
Before I can respond, Jess slides her way into the booth. Her eyes are about to explode out of her head and an evil grin, reminiscent of old school cartoons, appears on her face.
"Doubt what?" she asks.
Neither of us said anything at first. Harry was staring at me, expecting me to speak up or rather, giving me the chance to explain what was happening here. I couldn't see his stare though. I was too busy following the groove pattern of the wood tables. I could feel it.
Jess looked between the two of us like she knew something we didn't. I hadn't even properly introduced the two. What would I even say? This is Harry and he's going to follow me around all summer but not in a creepy way. At least I don't think so.
"Hi, I'm Harry," he sticks his arm across the table doing the job for me.
Jess' face is lit up and I haven't seen a smile like that on her since....well actually it wasn't that long ago because she's a very bubbly person. I always appreciated that about her.
"Oh Mr. Englishman has a name? Nice to meet you Harry, I'm Jess." She grabs Harry's outreached hand and gives it a comical exaggerated shake.
He shook her hand and then looked over at me. "You really weren't joking when you said people were calling Mr. Englishman huh?"
I lean forward and whisper like I am telling him a secret. "Harry. I am very funny. Trust me, you would know if I was joking."
"Oh? And how would I know that?"
"Because I would've come up with something more creative than that."
He pulls his hand away from Jess to focus all his attention on me. "Really? Then what did you call me?"
Maintaining eye contact with him, I reply, "I didn't."
The table grew silent, but the two of us kept charged eye contact. Even with the dig, it still felt lighthearted.
That's the thing about "charming" men. They are quick witted and are used to throwing people off. He probably can get any girl in his bed that he wants with just a few rolls of his snake like tongue. Not that I am judging any girl he sleeps with, honestly good for them, but if he thinks he can bat his pretty eyelashes at me, and get me to fall for him, he's mistaken.
Jess and Harry talked. She was grilling him about basic stuff like why he was in Jersey. It was nice to sit there and make a new friend. People don't talk about how hard it is to make friends when you're not in school and forced to form alliances to get through the day. Not that I was desperate for friends. I liked my small circle of people. But so far, it didn't seem like Harry was forcing that circle to fit him. He was taking a walk around the perimeter.
Eventually the conversation hit a lull. Breaking the silence, Jess tugged on my arm. "Come on Jaime, we have to get back to work."
"Already?" Harry asks. We had been sitting for way longer than we should've, and even though Lon's wasn't as packed as it can get, we still should've been doing our jobs.
Jess is already out of the booth, and in a moment of desperation I look up at her and ask for a few more minutes.
"Why are you asking me? I'm not your boss." Jess laughs. "If anything, you're mine."
I lean out of the booth to whisper in her ear, "Cover for me with Monica and I'll do your side work."
Her eyes shoot up. "Oh! It's like that," she says, a little too loud for my liking. "Deal." She walks away before I can thank her. I probably didn't need her to cover for me since Harry had a habit of tucking himself away in the farthest corner booth, and Monica would most likely stay in her office the whole night. I didn't want to risk it.
"Like what?" Harry asks, all too smug for my liking.
"Like nothing. I basically told her I'd do her chores if she covered for me for a bit."
He leans on his forearms over the table. "I knew it," he says, his two front teeth poking through his lips.
"Knew what?" I eyed him suspiciously.
"So!" His shoulders jump up and the bright tone gives me a shock. "When are we going on our first date?" He rolled his lips into his mouth, clearly trying to restrict the smile that was threatening to spread across his face, but his eyes gave him away. He really doesn't give up. His persistence is sweet. I am gonna have to break his little heart. Always the villain, never the princess.
"Okay hold on. I was serious earlier when I said I'm not looking for anything. This is the craziest time of year here, and while most people would run from it, I need it to be able to live on my own. I can't afford to throw away my life on a summer romance," I say, trying to let him down as softly as possible.
He took in my answer, and then simply responded, "Okay."
"Okay?" He was just going to accept it that easy?
"Yeah. I genuinely want to spend time with you. Careful though, this much quality time together, you might just be the one to fall in love with me." I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. I don't know if I will ever get over how his boldness matches mine so well.
Jaime Jackson doesn't fall in love. Ever. She literally can't.
"With the way you're talking, I think it's yourself you should be worried about," I sigh and lean back in the booth.
He smiled and shook his head. "So, for our first not-date date. When are you free?"
"Ha. Free. Um. I work every day, so it depends on whether you want to take me somewhere before 3pm or after 7pm."
He mulls it over for a second. He's either trying to make me laugh, or he is seriously thinking hard about this. "If I was to say I can pick you up at noon, what would you say?"
I run through my schedule in my head, remembering what days I worked the night shift. "Then I would say I will see you Tuesday."
"Perfect. Tuesday it is. Now," he knocks his knuckles on the table. "Do you know where I could find a waitress around here? Seriously, the service is terrible."
I rolled my eyes and left the booth, walking backwards towards the bar. He went back to drawing on the paper that was in front of him. If he knew I was watching him, he didn't turn around to acknowledge it. It wasn't until my cheeks started hurting that I realized I had been involuntarily smiling that whole time. I liked when he called me sunshine. He reminded me of when you go to the beach and forget to reapply sunscreen to your face, so your cheeks and nose are just a little bit more red than the rest of your body. I kept telling myself that he probably calls a lot of people that. It's just a phrase that he uses as casually as "darling" or "love". I still liked it though, not that I would admit that to him.
I ducked behind the bar, and Jess grabbed my wrist. I didn't say anything, I looked at her with a bored expression on my face knowing it was only a matter of seconds before they exploded with questions.
"Go ahead. Ask away before you explode."
"Did he ask you out? Why is he here like every day? Monica said he was here the other day and you weren't even here. Jaime, what is going on? You went to bed last night alone one night and suddenly there is a hot British guy practically stalking you! What the hell is going on?"
I folded my arms and waited for all of her questions to spill out of her mouth. I knew she had to get it out of her system, and she knew I wasn't going to answer.
"I agreed to hang out." Jess goes to scream but I cut her off with a raised finger so I can finish my sentence. "As friends. And only as friends. It's not a date. It's summer and I need to work."
"No you don't," Monica appeared out of nowhere.
"Mon, I love you, but yes I do. I know you always want to take care of me, but seriously, I love this job. More than that, I love money and being able to take care of myself. I am not giving up my freedom to chase a boy who is going to leave me. If he wants to get his heart broken then that's on him. But I've been upfront that nothing will happen"
These two knew better than anyone the trials and tribulations of my love life. The flings that left me used and sad. The time I wasted on Kyle. I have always been adamant about putting myself first and not letting a boy drag me down. Living here for four years, I have seen it play out in every way imaginable. I have seen summer staffers break the hearts of locals, and have to deal with them dragging their feet around the bar, hoping they would magically have a shift again in the middle of winter. I have even seen Jess get her heart played with by a girl who only ended up staying for half the summer.
There is something about summer romance that makes people want to hold on. The warm weather, all the free time to spend with one another, it all becomes romanticized as you leave and go into the colder seasons. I didn't want to hurt Harry, that's why I made it clear that I didn't want to date him.
For once I wanted to be selfish and not so bitter. I understand people may think I am a buzzkill because I am so work oriented, but it is who I am. I relish in my independence and any thought of losing that gives me an immense amount of anxiety. If he is willing to work around my work schedule and just hang out a few times. Who am I to complain? I have avoided the busy tourist places every year, maybe they could actually be fun with Harry? I mean they are popular for a reason.
"Don't you think you're giving yourself too much credit? You really think you're going to break his heart?" Jess asked.
"It's not my intention to do anything with his heart. Anyway, we are hanging out Tuesday before work so if you don't mind, I would like to get back to work."
☼☼☼
June 3rd 1997
2:00 am
By the time I dragged my feet through my door I was ready to fall asleep right there. Thank god I only live about five minutes away otherwise I would have slept in my car. The first few weeks of summer are always brutal, and tonight was just another reminder. My feet hurt so much every step felt like I was walking on pins. I couldn't wait to peel my shoes off and just throw myself into bed. I knew I needed a shower but the thought of standing for any longer brought tears to my eyes. I brushed my teeth, my eyes watering and leaning forward onto the sink so I didn't fall. My body feels like I have been at a rock show and I was thrown in the mosh pit for an hour with no control over my body. When I hit the mattress my eyes were already closed, muscles aching, and mind spinning, knowing I was going to see Harry in less than 10 hours.
☁☁☁
I could see in the dark. It was the type of dark that it was impossible to make anything out. It wasn't the kind of darkness your eyes adjusted to. It was a dark night where the sky still looked light gray blue because it was snowing. It wasn't extremely cold, but there was a chill to my bones that I could not shake.
"You bitch!" A deep voice called behind me. I immediately wanted to throw up. I was in my own body, but I felt lighter, closer to the ground. I go to run my hands through my hair to pull on it as some sort of control, but as my fingers slide through my hair it ends much shorter than I am used to. My normal long hair is cut above my shoulders, jagged like a crazy person took scissors to it blindly. I look down and see that my knees are covered in dirt and the white converse that I wore every day would have been unrecognizable if I had not known the way they felt around my feet with the laces tied too tight.
"You useless fucking whore get back here."
I started running. I could feel my converse ripping blisters into the back of my ankles. As I was running as fast as my feet could take me, my chest started hurting. I could visualize my lungs filling with water, slowly rising and restricting my air flow. My lungs were the ocean but my mouth was the desert.
"S-sstop fucking running away. You know I am going to catch you," the voice slurred behind me.
Like a spell was casted on me, my feet refused to move. I threw my body forward hoping to gain more traction but all it did was send me to the floor. I tried to push myself back up but I was being pulled down, magnetized to the ground. Any attempt to lift myself was met with double the force pulling me down. I was glued to the floor, forced to listen to the footsteps coming closer to me. Anyone who didn't know better would have thought it was a woman, walking in a pair of heels. I knew that his metal tipped shoes were slowly stalking me like prey. The footsteps started getting louder, almost feeling like he was walking in my head.
The metronome of footsteps came up behind me. I knew it was over. I tried to scream but no noise came out, only water. The cold concrete below me became soaking wet with the water that was once in my lungs. As the magnet that held me to the floor released, rough calloused hands gripped the back of my neck, yanking me up from the floor. The more I scream, the more water poured out of my mouth. I didn't have a choice, it was either scream, or die by drowning.
When my body was upright the hand around my neck grew tighter. I tried to lean my head back in hopes of relieving some of the pressure but it only made him grip tighter. "I told you, you'd never get away from me," he growled in my ear. The smell of cheap wine infiltrated my senses. I tried to choke and cough to clear it from my nose, but more water just appeared. I couldn't understand where it kept coming from. As quickly as I tried to expel it from my body, more and more kept rushing in.
The water was weighing my body down. Kicking and screaming did nothing but make it worse. I wish I could float, but I was ready to drown.
"You took her from me. You deserve all of this." With his grip on my neck he whipped me around and for the first time I came face to face with my predator.
"Are you happy? Is this what you wanted? You couldn't keep your legs closed and now she's gone."
His fingers dug deeper into the back of my neck. No matter how much I struggle against him, I can't break free. Finally, I squeeze my fists, and I hear a shot go off. The water that was surrounding us turned to blood. My chest deflated and finally my throat allowed me to scream. I fall from his grip and as my hands smack onto the ground my eyes shoot open.
☁☁☁
I immediately groan at the contrast of the brightness coming through my window. I am breathing so heavy it hurts. I didn't set an alarm because I didn't have work until way later, and I usually wake up around 8 anyway. The clock on my nightstand reads 11:30am. I breathe a sigh of relief because even though I had another nightmare, at least I got some sleep. My muscles start to relax as I attempt to ground myself. I move my legs under the sheets, helping my brain to realize I have full control over my body. I roll my head in a circle five times to get rid of his touch. I run my hands through my hair, calming down at the feeling of how long it is. Playing with my hair to show myself that it's my own, my mind drifts to thinking about Harry. I usually didn't like guys with long hair because it tends to look dirty, but he seemed to make it work. I wonder what it would be like to lace my fingers through his hair and p-SHIT. Harry.
I have a date with Harry. He is picking me up in thirty minutes. Fuck. My exhaustion level increases. My brain could not have picked a worse day to put me through this. Had work really kicked my ass so much that I had to sleep until 11? God I wish I could cancel. I am sure he would understand. He wouldn't give up though. I would just be delaying the inevitable.
I hopped in the shower. It's bad enough I didn't shower after work, and after that nightmare I would rather be late than see Harry and not have showered. I brushed out my wet hair. I wanted to put it up in a ponytail but after last night I needed to feel it against my back. I didn't care if it was 100 degrees out, but luckily we were only in the high 70s so far.
I have no idea where Harry is taking me, but considering I have work after I throw on a casual outfit. I grabbed a pair of light wash mom jeans, and a white crop top with a daisy on the front. I laced up my black vans and by the time I stood back up again I heard a car roll up my driveway.
Of course he is early.
I don't give him the chance to come knock on my door. I grab my wallet and keys and head outside. I lock my front door and turn around to see Harry leaning against his car with his hands in his pockets. I was right. He was going to come knock on my door. The epitome of chivalry and manners.
As I walk up to the car, I see Harry's smile drop a little while his eyes scan over my face. "You okay, Sunshine?"
Did I really look that bad? Yeah I had a rough night but at least I actually got some sleep. Hopefully he won't push it. I walk around him to get in the passenger side. "Good afternoon to you too. Yeah I am fine. Where are we going?"
He slides in the car and buckles up. "So for our first date-"
"Harry, I told you it's not a date."
"Alright, alright. Not a date. Can't get anything past you. Anyway, for our first not date I thought I would take you somewhere fun, try to loosen you up."
"I didn't realize I was that stiff."
"Oh! No. That's not what I meant, I just thought we could do something light hearted."
It is so fun making him nervous.
"Any chance you're gonna tell me ahead of time?"
"Now where would the fun be in that?"
We drove with the windows down and I let the wind dry my hair for me. We didn't really talk the rest of the car ride. The radio played softly in the background. He tried to be casual but I totally saw him turn the radio up just a little bit when Alanis Morisette came on. He didn't strike me as an Alanis fan but I guess we all have our surprises.
And that is one thing Harry definitely was. A surprise.