Ayanokoji POV:
Today is the first day of my new life attending Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School. Waiting for the bus with me is the man I respect the most and the man who saved me from the White Room. After Matsuo helped me escape from That Man he enrolled me into this school as a form of protection. ANHS is one of the most prestigious schools in all of Japan, and is also perfect for me as it is completly isolated from the outside world. Isolated from him. It's truly fascinating how Matsuo made the decision to help me, despite the inevitability that That Man would retaliate. He knew that there would be a potential danger to his life yet he continued. It was all so illogical.
I was engrossed in my thoughts when Matsuo decided to break the silence between us.
Matsuo: "Kiyotaka, I understand that this is your first time living outside of the White Room, and it can be quite intimidating. But trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I have full faith in your abilities, and I know you'll excel here. I want you to know that I genuinely care about your well-being. That's why I took the risk to save you."
Kiyotaka: "Thank you, Matsuo. The only thing I desire now is a peaceful life for the next three years. I appreciate the freedom you've given me, even if its duration is limited," I responded, my voice devoid of the emotion.
For an ordinary person, Matsuo's words would have given them hope. Filled with hope and joy at the opportunity that they had been given. But not me. My experiences in the White Room had stripped away such emotions, leaving behind a cold detachment that made it difficult for me to fully embrace the situation. Though I understood the significance of Matsuo's actions, and his genuine care for my well-being, I don't think that after the White Room, I'd ever be able to be happy again. Nevertheless, the next three years would be a great chance for me to learn about what I once had. Learn to feel emotions again.
As the bus arrived at our designated spot, its doors swung open, revealing a bustling scene of commuters and fellow students from ANHS. Matsuo, wearing an encouraging smile, gestured for me to board. I did and crossed the threshold which marked the beginning of my temporary freedom.
Matsuo: "I'll see you in three years Kiyotaka, stay safe and enjoy your time."
To those last words I responded by simply nodding and maintained my poker face. I knew those words were hollow. Matsuo had lied to me. We both knew that by the end of my first year, he would be dead.
I took a seat next to a girl with a blue-purple-ish hair color, who was for some strange reason covering her face seemingly lost in her own thoughts, and began thinking about my newly aquired freedom. I have been outside the White Room before, but never under my own conditions. I was always directed by White Room instructors or my father. Now I was alone, I could make my own choices, be someone who wasn't at the center of everything. I could learn something that place could never teach me, emotions. Fascinating.
As I peered out the window, my gaze wandered across Tokyo and the multitude of people who inhabited it. The colors that adorned the surroundings were a stark contrast to the sterile white walls of the White Room that had been my life for the past 16 years. It struck me how people could live in such vibrancy and yet harbor sadness within their hearts. They were fortunate, in a way, to experience a world so rich in hues and emotions. I truly was a defective human being after all, not being able to understand the struggles of others. I was a Masterpiece in academics, physical abilities, and manipulation yet I failed at the fundementals that everyone around me has. Being someone worth living. I was merely a tool, a weapon, a blank slate that had been molded into the monster than I am. I will never be able to feel the connections that others do, I will always be a stranger to this world.
Some of my thoughts must have shown on my face as the girl besides me was looking at me with a mix of worry and curiosity. How long has she been looking at me? I glanced towards her and saw a smile on her face that would make most boys my age blush. But I saw something else, a manufactured look, similar to my poker face. It looked forced, or practiced was she perphaps an actor? An idol?
Seeing that I was looking at her, she quickly changed her face to be one that was more cheerful, hiding any indication that she had been feeling anything other than that emotion. Interesting, she seems good at adjusting herself quickly. Her forced smile wasn't one of resentment or anger, no it was one attempting to be normal, one of someone who knew how to please everyone tey could. After a quick thought I saw no malice in her actions, and decided to respond with my own forced smile. I'm not entirely sure if anything changed though, its been years since I last tried to smile so nothing might have changed at all.
Ai: "Ohayo!"
Ai POV
Its been some time since my official debut as an idol. I've dedicated myself tirelessly to perfecting my public image for the sake of my fans. Every smile every word is planned and practiced. I need to become someone that everyone can love, I need to become someone that is worth living. The phrase "I love you" feels hollow and insincere, repeating it has made me forget its importance. This mask I've made for myself helps me forget about what I am, that I don't feel anything. Love is such as foriegn concept to me, I went into the idol buisness hoping that I would learn its meaning. I can't help but feel guilty for constantly lying to my fans and portraying a persona just for a selfish goal of mine. It's a terrible realization for me to know that I am incapable of experiencing genuine love. I truly am pitiful and undeserving.
Nevertheless, as an idol, my main purpose is to bring happiness to others. That is what matters, or at least, what I must believe. Making others happy becomes my sole focus, even if it means suppressing my own feelings and presenting a carefully crafted facade. The inner emptiness I feel inside must remain hidden, buried beneath the smiles and performances that I deliver to my adoring fans.
Then why am I on a bus going towards Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School? I don't know. The last few month leading up to my decision has seemed more of a dream than reality to me. I still can't believe I decided to take a break from the idol scene. What were my Maybe I just want to be someone normal, someone who doesn't stand out. Maybe I want to learn how it feels to not have to make others happy. Maybe I want to find out who I am, to learn to love.
I applied to this school with the thought that I would definetly be rejected. I mean, what decent school would allow someone like me to join. I wasn't the most academicly gifted person and there were definetly people who deserved the spot more than me. I don't think I did well on the entrance exam, and I'm sure that the interview wasn't amazing either. So when I was accepted I didn't know what to do. I'd spent all my life trying to be someone that others could love, would I be allowed to do something for myself just this once?
When I finally decided I wanted to attend, I made it my goal to live a normal life. I don't want to stand out, I want to be viewed as a normal person. Once I graduate I know that the Idol life will be waiting for me again so I might as well spend this time isolated from the outside world enjoying some me time. It's perfect. The hardest part of the whole ordeal was telling my fans about my decision. When I announced that I would be taking a three year leave for my education, I could almost see the murderous intent in some of the posts online. Even now on my way to ANHS, I'm wearing a disguise hoping no one recognises me as an idol. I'm lucky that my company and fellow idols were so supportive of me. I don't deserve any of them, any of my fame, any of m-
Just as I was lost in my thoughts the bus abrubtly stopped and sent me into the window I was looking through. My face pressed against the window I silently cursed to myself for not paying attention. Idiot, idiot idiot. I covered my face which was flushed due to embarrassment, I must've looked like a child. What would your fans think if they saw you now? Just as I regained my composure I saw a boy my age coming towards me looking at my direction. His face was expressionless and he his eyes were constantly distant. At this new even my mind went into a frenzy. What should I do? Do I greet him? He's wearing the same uniform I am so that means he's going to the same school as me. Having friends would be nice. But what if hes a pervert? Would he even want to talk to me. Does h-
The boy just sat down next to me without giving me a second thought.
I found myself staring at him, my eyes widening in surprise. It was a new experience, for the first time in a long time that someone had ignored me, or to more accurately put it left me alone. While most people would have felt annoyed or taken aback by being ignored in what could be percieved as a rude gesture, there was something intriguing about him. It wasn't just his lack of social awareness in not asking if he could sit next to me, but rather, it was his face—the unchanging poker face that mirrored my own artificial smile. His face remained impassive yet neutral, even as he appeared to be lost in his own thoughts. He obviously has had that poker face on for quite some time to maintain it so naturally. It was one of the first times that I had no clue what someone might be thinking about, his face perfectly unreadable.
I must have stared at him for too long as he noticed me looking at him and looked at me with those cold and disinterested eyes. I quickly shifted my expression into one that I was all to famaliar using. I widened my smile and replanced my previous expression with one I met my fans with.
Ai: "Ohayo!"
I noticed a change in his demeanor, his expression stayed the same but there was a slight twitch of his mouth. Was he trying to smile?
Kiyotaka: "Ohayo, good morning I see you are also going to ANHS." His voice was low and uninterested, remaining neutrel as he spoke.
Ai: "Yeah I'm really exicted for my first day, are you?"
Kiyotaka: "I guess."
The conversation abrubtly ended there, he seemed to not be comfortable speaking so casually. Well thats what i deduced, I decided to prod a more into this mysterious boy.
Ai: "Do you by any chance know what class you'll be in?"
Kiyotaka: "Class D"
Ai: "I'm in Class D too, I guess we're classmates for the next few years huh!"
Kiyotaka: "Hmmm I guess"
Ai: "Whats your name by the way? I'm Hoshino Ai." Shit, I can't believe I just blurted out my name like that. Now he's going to know who I am. It feels like everyone knows me; you'd have to be completely cut off from society not to recognize me. Well, I guess I better prepare myself for all the questions that are he's about to ask.
Kiyotaka: "Ayanokoji Kiyotaka." Wait what?
Ai: "Ah well great to meet you Ayanokoji-kun." Does he really not know who I am? Well, thats a first. I probably won't have this luck with other people so I might as well befriend him.
Kiyotaka: "Feelings mutual Hoshin-"
Ai: "Call me Ai, thats what I'm used to being called by my friends anyways. I don't mind if you drop the honorifics."
Kiyotaka: "Friends huh..."
Ai: "Well I hope you can take care of me Kiyotaka-kun." He titled his head at my response.
Ai: "Ah, did you not find it comfortable with me calling you your given name...?"
Kiyotaka: "No not at all Ai, its just I never really had any friends growing up." Hearing this from him was shocking. I mean, Kiyotaka was by no means well... to put it simply he was relatively good looking for his age I'm sure he would have had at least some friends...
Ai: "Not even one?"
Kiyotaka: "Not that I can recall."
Ai: "Well I guess I'm your first friend then Kiyotaka." My smile widened as I said this, I wanted to see if I could provoke any reaction out of him.
Kiyotaka: "You're right. By the way you can also drop the honorifics." Huh nothing.
Ai: "Ne ne Kiyotaka, a cute girls talking to you and your composure doesn't change at all."
Kiyotaka: "Sigh, I guess I'm just not good at expressing myself."
Ai: "Does that mean you were flustered internally when talking to me?"
Kiyotaka: "No."
Ai: "Hmph, meanie."
We continued making small talk throughout the bus ride. He didn't talk much but he always made an effort to respond to me. It was nice. Our conversation was cut short when we heard a commotion coming from the front parts of the bus.
Kiyotaka POV
Looking towards the commotion, I saw a lady wearing buinsess attire helping an older lady stay standing while glaring at a tall blonde boy that was taking up two seats while looking in a mirror.
Random Lady: "Hey can't you see that an old lady is having trouble standing! You should offer your seat to her!"
Old Lady: "It's ok dear, I'm perfectly fine where I am right now."
Random Lady: "No you are obviously struggling. Sir you are in the priority seat, please get up and leave."
?????: "But lady, why should I, Koenji Rokusuke, a perfect existance give away my seat for someone who is inferior to me?"
Random Lady: "Don't disrespect your elders like that. Also its the law." At these words a smirk appeared on the blonde boys face.
Koenji: "Thats where your wrong lady. I, a perfect existance, don't have to give up my seat for anyone, there is no official law that compels me to give this seat up for the elderly. Not only that but why should I respect someone simply because their older than me? That seems illogical and something only and inferior being would think of."
Besides his arrogance I begrudgingly agreed with the boy in his argument. Respecting someone just due to the fact that they are older is a completly laughable statement. Respect should be earned through merit and achievments that an indivdual does over their lifetime. Furthermore, he is not compelled to give anything up by the law so he is by all definitions in the right.
Looking around I notice everyone either looking at the woman with pity and others averting gaze, preferring to not involve themself with the situation. Everyone excpet for a single girl who was looking indifferently straight ahead of herself. Her eyes met mine and I quickly averted my eyes, hoping to not come off as a pervert. That would be the last thing I want to do.
Random Lady: "Sigh, Well is there anyone else willing to give up their seat for this old lady?" The ladies eyes darted between others who were seated with judging eyes. I looked towards Ai who was obviously conflicted on what to do, (internal sigh) perphaps it would be best if I-
????: "I'll give up my seat!" A girl with short blonde hair stood up from her seat and offered it to the old lady. She was wearing an ANHS uniform meaning she was going to the same school Ai and I were going to. Her outward demeanor seemed nice enough, but something about that smile was off. Almost hostile, unlike Ai here smile seemed to be full of malice and contempt. Of course no normal person would notice this, only someone like me who has been hiding behind a mask would be able to see the slight signs.
Looking to my right I saw Ai also having her eyes fixed on this new girl and strangely enough, her expression also was one of skepticism. Could she also possibly see through her too? Perphaps Ai Hoshino was more than what me the eye, a possible tool he could use. Maybe a real friend?
Random Lady: "Thank you miss, that was incredibly kind of you. I'm glad that some people are still kind hearted in this world." She gave a glare with murderous intent at Koenji and then shifted it to the rest of the bus.
?????: "Don't worry about it, it was the least I could do."
Old Lady: "Thank you young lady, that was very kind of you. What's your name?" The girls smile seemed to grow each time she was complimented, could she potentially thrive off attention?
?????: "Kushida Kikyo, and it was nothing. Anyone else would have done what I did."
I wonder what others will think of me. Will they be scared when they find out who I am? Will they attempt to use me as a tool? Well whatever happens...
I welcome them to try