"Shit shit shit." I whispered, pacing my room. I couldn't believe that I just told Carter and Jenna the biggest secret of my life.
Carter seemed to take it way better than Jenna did and that's honestly what I expected. I knew Carter would think it was cool in a way, but Jenna would feel just as betrayed as I was.
She didn't even know the half of it.
I needed to come up with some sort of plan to be at two places at once. Obviously I wasn't going to leave the kids alone, but I also knew I needed to help Colby.
We were dealing with a bigger beast than anticipated and they were going to need my permission help whether they liked that idea or not.
I plopped onto the bed and called Corey. "Hey, Jules. How are you holding up?" He answered after a couple minutes.
"I need your help." I said with a sigh. "Anything. What's up?" He asked as I laid back, putting my hand on my lower belly.
I was just starting to pop out a little bit, not enough for anyone to notice. My belly looked like I had just eaten a big meal and was bloated.
"Can you and Devyn come here to watch the kids?" I asked quietly. "You're not planning on coming here, are you?" He asked as I closed my eyes.
"I have to Corey. I can't just sit here and do nothing." I said and rubbed my belly gently.
I have been pushing away the idea of being pregnant since it scared me so much, but right in this moment, I felt the most motherly I've ever felt.
I needed to find Colby so that we could have this baby, and raise it ourselves.
"Colby would kill me if I let that happen." Corey said as I nodded.
"And I'll kill you if I go there and something happens to my siblings because you refused to watch them." I said sharply.
"One of the people who would kill you isn't missing though, so maybe you should listen to me." I said blandly.
"You and Colby really have so much in common, I swear." Corey said with a laugh. "Mhmm. Are you gonna help me or not?" I asked with a sigh.
"Yeah, Jules. I hate to admit it but I think you being here would be a great idea." He said as I nodded.
"Even if it's a trap...I need to be with him." I said as my heart broke.
I had to hope that it wasn't a trap and that I would be reunited with him soon. It had been so long since I've gotten to see him or even talk to him, and I missed him so much.
"When did you want us to come?" Corey asked as I stood up, pacing the room. "As soon as possible if you can." I said and ran my hand through my hair.
"Okay, I'll tell the guys and get Devyn on board. You can take the private jet back here. I can maybe bring someone along to ride with you if you want." Corey said as I nodded.
I was grateful that Corey was being so gentle and wasn't denying that they needed my help. He knew Colby would be mad, but he also knew that it would be better to have a mad Colby than no Colby.
"That would be good. Thanks, Corey. Just let me know when you're on the way." I said then went towards the closet so I could start packing.
"Okay, Jules. Try not to worry too much, I know you do that." Corey said as I nodded.
"Yeah, maybe a little too much. See you when you get here." I said then hung up. "Okay." I whispered then went to grab some clothes for me to wear.
It was going to be so hard to leave the kids, knowing things could go south. If I went missing then these kids would be orphans.
I shook my head then started packing. I didn't know how long I would be gone, but I knew it would at least be a week.
I wasn't nearly as good at crime related things and it took over a month for Colby to be taken.
I would be a goner.
I shook my head then zipped up the bag and went back into the bedroom. I turned to go to bed, but was interrupted by screaming and crying in the room next to me.
I frowned and got out of bed, rushing towards the screams.
When I got into the room, Juniper was sitting up, her hands covering her face as she sobbed into them.
"Did you have a nightmare, love?" I asked and walked over to the bed, brushing her hair back. "Sissy." Juniper whimpered and wrapped her arms around me.
"It's okay. Dreams aren't real." I reminded and hugged her. "I miss Colby." She cried into my chest. "I know, love. I miss him, too." I said quietly.
"What if I told you I was gonna go get him?" I asked as she perked up, tears trickling down her plump cheeks.
"Right now?!" She asked as I sighed and wiped her cheek.
"No, tomorrow. I might be gone for a little bit because he needs my help with something, but once I help him we'll come home. How about that?" I asked as she pouted her lip out.
"You're leaving us, too?" She asked as I nodded. "Only for a little while. I have one of Colby's friends coming to hang out with you guys. He's super fun and is bringing his girlfriend. You met them when you were a baby." I said and ran my fingers through her hair.
"I don't remember that." She said with such a serious expression I actually laughed. "Of course you wouldn't, you goofball." I said as she giggled.
"Are they nice?" She asked as I nodded. "Super nice. You guys will have so much fun you won't even know I'm gone." I said as she laid her head on my chest.
"Are we still gonna go to school?" She asked quietly. "Yeah, you'll go to school. Corey and Devyn will take you." I said as she nodded. "Are you gonna come back?" She asked as my heart ached.
"Yeah, sweet girl. I'll be back and so will Colby." I said, not knowing how true that statement was. I obviously wanted to say for sure that we would be back, but the situation I was going into was dangerous.
There were no promises.
"I miss him. I had a nightmare that he died." She said as my heart sank. "He's not dead, love. Dreams aren't real." I said and held her closer, scratching her back. "It was so scary." She said with a shaky voice.
"I know, take a deep breath darling." I hummed, trying to comfort her. It had to be hard to be a five year old dealing with this situation.
Juniper didn't have any parents, and the adult figures in her life were leaving her.
She glommed onto Colby, loving him the most out of all the kids. It was probably impossible to grasp that he left and never came back.
I ended up falling asleep in Juniper's bed with her, since I was exhausted.
"Julia." Sam said as he shook my shoulder, causing me to bolt up. "What's going on?!" I asked with wide eyes.
"Sorry. Uh...are we going to school?" He asked as I shook my head. "No..not today." I said and rubbed my eyes.
"Oh okay..just making sure." He said as I nodded. "Yeah. Not today...I actually need to talk to you." I said then got out of bed, careful to not wake Juniper.
It never failed to amaze me how heavy of a sleeper that girl was but I guess I couldn't complain. It was better to have a heavy sleeping five year old than a lighter sleeping one.
"Am I in trouble?" He asked as I shook my head. "Not at all. Come on." I said then led the way out of the room and towards my room.
"Why is there a suitcase. Are you leaving us, too?" Sam asked as he pointed to my suitcase.
"Do you remember Colby's friend Corey?" I asked as he nodded. "Vaguely. Why?" He asked and cocked his head to the side.
"I have to go help Colby with some stuff so he and his girlfriend are gonna come watch you guys." I said as he frowned.
"We can't just come with you?" He asked causing me to frown.
"I would love that, but you my friend have school." I said and ruffled his hair. "When will you be back? Don't say a week and it be two months. Be better than Colby." He teased, causing me to laugh.
"I don't know when I'll be back but I promise we will both be back as soon as humanly possibly." I said as he nodded.
"Okay, I guess that's fine. Just try to be back before Thanksgiving?" He suggested as I nodded.
"I'll try." I said then gave him a hug.
Sam was a sensitive kid but handled a lot of things really well. He craved family time and loved the idea of us all being together.
He took our father's death the hardest and wanted for us to be a happy healthy family.
Juniper loved Colby and thought of him as a best friend and possible father figure, but Sam needed Colby in his life. He needed a male figure to help guide him in ways that I couldn't.
I didn't like the idea of leaving my siblings, but I needed to do it in order to keep our little family together.