Lynna's POV
I was nervously waiting for Frankie to come over. I hadn't been to a party in a while, and there was Josh, so I was on the verge of freaking out. Josh was constantly on mind at this point. I kept looking to my drawing, thinking about anything Josh related. I didn't understand how quick I clung into him. Maybe it was how kind he was, or maybe how nice he was, whatever it was threw me for a loop.
"Repeat after me." Frankie said. "You're gonna be fine."
"Oh, shutup." I laughed.
"I can feel you spazing out. It's just a party." She said. We climbed in the elevator, waiting for it to slowly take us to their floor.
"I'm gonna be fine." I said. "I just get nervous, you know?"
"Trust me, I know." She smiled. We walked down to their door labeled '51.'
I knocked, feeling like I was about to burst. I heard a muffled sound from Josh, then the door opened. His smile was so contagious, he looked happy to see me.
"Hi, Lynna, Frankie." He greeted. "Come in."
We entered the house, multiple boys packed in one tiny living room. I looked around the living room, taking in the two different aesthetics. You could almost tell the pieces Josh chose and the ones Jake chose. I was pretty curious to what their apartment would look like, and I was almost right.
"There's food and drinks, whatever you'd like in the kitchen." Josh said, leading us to the main area. "The party isn't until later, you guys are good with hanging out, right?"
"Yeah, of course." Frankie answered for us.
"You guys have a balcony?" I asked, noticing the screen doors. "That's not even remotely fair."
"Looks like you guys chose the wrong side of the building." Josh shrugged, a petty smile on his lips.
"And, we probably pay the same rent, yet they get a balcony." Frankie said, agreeing with me.
"Would you guys like to see it?" Josh smiled.
"Yes." I said, as if it was the most obvious answer ever. Josh laughed at Frankie and I's eagerness. We followed him onto the balcony, becoming immediately jealous.
"This is so unfair!" Frankie cried. We took in the view, it wasn't even the best view, but it was better than ours. "Can we move in with you?"
"Um, let me discuss it with Jake." Josh laughed. "I'm sure he'll agree."
"Great." Frankie said. "I'll go pack my bags right now." I laughed at how she only seemed to be halfway joking. She gave me a smile before heading back inside, making me realize she left us alone on purpose.
"I could stay out here all day, seriously." I said, sitting down on the lounge chair. The sun was hitting perfectly.
"We spend a decent amount of time out here." He smiled. "Nothing better than a blunt and a view of stars."
"You smoke?" I asked, knowing I should've already assumed that.
"It's only for medicinal purposes, of course." He smirked. "What about you?"
"Medicinal purposes as well." I smiled.
"Frankie too?" He asked.
"She got me on it." I said.
"Well, we may just have to smoke before the party." He smiled, excited at the thought. "We weren't sure how you guys were on those things."
"You thought I was going to be a stick in the mud?" I laughed.
"You never know! I personally figured you were cool with it." He said.
"I'm sure you did." I smiled, teasing him at this point.
"I have faith in you." He said.
"Faith?" I repeated, wanting him to elaborate.
"I mean I think you're pretty cool, even before I talked to you, I assumed you were going to be worth talking to." He grinned. I was probably smiling like an idiot.
"You're making me blush, Josh." I joked, mostly, trying to hide the fact that I was melting inside.
"C'mon, let's head back inside." He smiled, holding out his hand. I gladly accepted it. He lead the way to the door before he let go of my hand, I savored the very small moment.
Josh went over to Jake and whispered in his ear, and it wasn't very long before Josh was rolling one for us. Frankie looked more eager than the boys to get it in her hands.
The mood was amazing, I didn't want to be anywhere else. I would've been fine relaxing with the boys like this all night. But, the time for the party did roll around.
Frankie and I stuck together throughout the start, being too attached to each other to just separate. We knew people, of course, but most of them were irritating on some level.
We got drinks, knowing we'd regret it later. The alcohol and smoke in my system made me a bit more confident.
I soon found myself dragging Frankie to where everyone was dancing. I danced with her, spinning her and whatever I felt like. It was nice to actually enjoy yourself.
"Frankie?" Josh spoke, startling both of us. "May I steal Lynn for a song or two?"
"Of course." She smiled, moving my hand to Josh's.
"Hi." I greeted, failing to hide that I was happy to see him.
"Hi." He responded, returning the smile. "You enjoying yourself?"
"Very much, actually." I said, making him laugh a bit.
The song wasn't very good, but he somehow made it fun to dance to. Josh spun me around while managing to keep his own jig going. I laughed at his moves, they were one of a kind. We moved around each other, looking like idiots, but we were happy.
The song came to any end, moving to mellower song. He smiled, pulling me closer to him. I gently wrapped my arms around his neck, his hands on my waist.
We swayed to the music, I was struggling to not look into Josh's eyes. I knew I'd do something stupid if I didn't watch myself.
"You know, I heard you were really nervous for tonight. To me, it seems like you're pretty relaxed." He said.
"Well, the alcohol has helped a bit." I laughed. "I was pretty nervous though."
"Why?" He asked, actually curious to know the answer.
"I don't know really, I just get myself worked up." I shrugged. "It's not just parties, about any event does it."
"We're gonna work on that." He smiled. "Would you be up for that?"
"You sure can try, no guarantee whatsoever." I said truthfully. "It's pathetic, I get nervous before I hangout with you guys."
"Really?" He asked, shocked.
"It's nothing personal, I promise." I said quickly. "I think I just want to impress you guys."
"Lynna, there's no need to impress us." He smiled. "But, I get it. I would be lying to say I don't get nervous to see you."
"Me? You get nervous to see me?" I asked, never more surprised in my life. I can't even fathom the idea of someone being nervous to see me.
"Well, yeah. Same reasons, I want you to like me, like us." He said.
"I already like you guys, I thought you were cool from the first time I saw you." I said. "The whole reason I started that drawing."
"I really wish you'd let me see it." He smiled. "There's no way you thought that from the start. Most people think we're goofy looking." I laughed his statement, amazed anyone would think that.
"Now, that's ridiculous." I said. "Don't get me wrong, your outfits are different, but they're impressive. I wish I could pull off what you do."
"I think you could pull it off. Dress however you want." He shrugged. "You'd turn heads no matter what you wore."
I looked at him confused for a moment, not processing what he said. I once again felt my cheeks warm up, glad for the colored lights. We didn't talk again for a some time, swaying back and fourth.
Josh was so captivating, I wasn't sure how else to explain it. I was drawn to him, I couldn't help it. His touch was something I wouldn't mind getting used to. I wished the song wasn't nearing the end. I wanted to look into his eyes forever. I wanted to keep my arms wrapping around him for as long as I could.
The song drifted into a new one, much more upbeat than the previous. I noticed Josh wasn't pulling away from me yet. He stayed put, still smiling to me. I felt so overwhelmed, but it was such a good feeling.
I think we would've stayed like that longer if it hadn't been for someone bumping into Josh. We were snapped out of our moment. Josh transitioned into dancing to the new song, dragging me along with him. We danced around, tiring ourselves out.
"I'm gonna go get a drink, you want one?" I asked, taking a break.
"Sure, but I can go get it for us." He offered.
"No, I got it." I smiled. "I'll be back in a second."
He gave me a smile before I headed towards the kitchen area. I assembled Josh and I's drinks, trying to be quicker so I could get back to him.
"Hey, Ceira." A voice spoke, sending shivers down my spine. I dreaded ever hearing this voice. "Not even going to say hi?"
I continued with our drinks, ignoring him.
"Where's your girlfriend?" He asked. "She not around anymore?"
"Please, Declan, stop." I said.
"What? Did you two finally realize it doesn't work that way?" He taunted. "That really sucks, I never got to see anything."
I held my breath, trying not to give him the reaction he wanted.
"Can't ignore me. You knew I was right. Or, did she leave you? Because she was much too pretty to be going for girls." His voice grated through my ears.
"Leave me alone, please?" I asked, wanting this to just end.
"Oh, sorry, didn't realize this was a sensitive subject." He grinned. "You know, I think I saw her the other day, not with you, of course. It was that new one, except, it was a guy this time."
"God, what is wrong with you? I've never done anything to you." I said. "Well, except for reject you."
"If I had known you were a fucking homo I wouldn't have ever asked." He spat. "You had so much potential, truly. Such a shame."
"You're a fucking asshole. Why can't you worry about yourself?" I said, about to loose it. I felt my chest tighten as he spoke, forcing down any major emotions threatening me. I usually would've held together better, but it wasn't even that long ago.
"I'm sorry, someone has to be honest with you." He shrugged. "You're never going to — "
"Lynna?" Josh asked, coming around the corner. His expression changed when his eyes met mine. "What's wrong?"
"Wow." Declan laughed, the most obnoxious one ever. "Good luck, man." He slapped Josh's shoulder as he walked away, making Josh look to him with annoyance.
"Lynna, what'd he do?" He asked. I tried to speak, but I knew if I did I'd burst. "C'mon, let's find somewhere quiet."
He grabbed my hand, pulling me through the crowds. It took a moment, but we found an empty couch, just quiet enough to hear each other.
"Okay, seriously, what happened?" He asked, rubbing my hand with his.
"He's a jerk." I said, attempting to laugh about it.
"Lynn." He said, narrowing his eyes, I knew he wanted me to talk. I wasn't sure how to tell him.
"I, uh, I — " I paused, trying to remember the look on his face. "Declan, he was, in a nice way to put it, teasing me."
"But, why?" He asked, confused.
"I used to date this person. Not for the longest time, thanks to him." I spoke, Josh still looking lost. "She couldn't handle his taunting."
Josh face flickered when I said 'she,' but it wasn't a bad change. He looked like he was sympathizing with what I said.
"It was still new to her. I did everything to get her. He ruined it." I said. "He said the most horrible things about us. They were so gross and cruel. She broke up with me because she couldn't handle it from him. She was my first girlfriend, and he took it away."
Josh listened to me explain it, never letting go of my hand. As I finished talking, he pulled my body to his. His arms wrapped around me, embracing me in the most comforting hug I've ever felt. I don't know how long I clung to him, but I couldn't let go. I was so worried I was going to loose him if I told him that.
"Can I be honest with you too, Lynn?" He asked quietly, pulling away from me.
"Of course." I said, concerned about the look on his face.
"I, uh, I am the same as you. I dated a guy for a while, but we struggled to keep it going. He was the first for me too." He said. I felt so many emotions, more surprised than anything. I can't believe I was worried to tell him.
"I'm sorry it didn't work for you two." I said.
"I'm sorry it didn't work for you two either." He said. I pulled him in this time, seeming like the best way to respond.
"Isn't it kind of funny we're both a tad gay?" He asked after a moment, causing me to laugh.
"A tad?" I repeated.
"I still like women." He smiled. "I just like both." I felt a bit excited at that, I wasn't completely out of the picture. Was it wrong to be excited about that?
"I guess we're even more similar." I laughed. "I still like guys too."
There was a silence between us, simply looking to each other. I'm not sure what he was thinking. I don't how I got to the point of telling him. It took a long time for me to tell Frankie, and I had known Josh less than a month.
"I had no idea he was like that." Josh finally said.
"I didn't either, until he started to act like that. He's literally asked me out before." I said.
"You didn't say yes, did you?" He asked.
"Of course not. I'm even more glad I didn't now." I said.
"You're way too good for him anyways." Josh said, looking to where all the people were. "Do you feel like heading back out there?"
"Sure." I smiled. "I left your drink in the kitchen, I got a bit sidetracked."
"We can always make a new one, and another one after that." He smiled, making himself giggle. He pulled me up with him, leading the way back to the party.
Josh and I hung out for most of the night, I wasn't sure where Frankie was. We talked, almost the whole time. We made it back onto the 'dance floor,' deciding to enjoy ourselves again. Josh really enjoyed hanging out with me, and it was so different. I couldn't understand why he would want to hangout with me. He was such a great person, for lack of better words, and I don't see why he dragged me around.
Josh was also great at convincing me to get more drinks. I kept saying, 'I'll regret this in the morning,' yet I kept agreeing to more. The night faded into more blurs as it got later. I was having a lot of fun, if that made up for the dangerous hangover waiting for me in the morning.