Bulla Maar Na Boladiyaan
Saanu Apna Yaar Rijhaawan De
Kanjari Baniyaan Meri Izzat Na Ghat Di
Mainu Nach Ke Yaar Manaawan De
Lok Ishq Nu Bhul Gin De
Te Saanu Gal Vich Maala Paawan De
Ae Bulleh Shah O Di O Jaane
Menu Apni Tod Nibhaawan De
Tere Mein Ishq Nachiyaan, Ve
Kar Thaiyya Thaiyya Ve
-Baba Bulle Shah
Meerab was in the kitchen making their ritualistic night tea. Khan Sahab had looked angry when he came to the Dargah this evening. Throughout the car ride home, he kept her hands in his as he scrutinized every vehicle that passed them. He usually insisted on driving himself his way to rebellion and trying to get some control over his life. But tonight, all the cars had a driver and a security guard. He had ensured Agha Jaan, Badi Amma, and the twins were secure before leaving the dargah. They drove back home with the entire motorcade. The brutality was back in his eyes when he called Junaid Bhai and Armaan Bhai for a meeting as soon as they reached the Haveli. After the impromptu session, Khan Sahab checked on every family member before showering.
Meerab quickly texted her husband to come to the kitchen for the nighttime tea. She had already told the staff to rest for the night. Khan of the people needs a reminder that he is also Murtasim. Meerab saw her husband walk in while she was struggling to open a Nutella jar. She simply handed him the jar, indicating for him to open it while she went to take the eggs out of the fridge. Meerab quickly appraised her husband as he placed the open jar on the counter. He looked softer, dressed in his crisp white Kurta set, his wet hair left unstyled, yet there was a stiffness in his posture. She could feel his eyes following her every move.
"Tea in the kitchen today?" Meerab heard him ask as she took a baking tray and placed it on the counter.
"We are making Nutella brownies, Khan Sahab," Meerab informed her husband as she scooped the Nutella into a bowl and then placed the bowl into hot water to warm the Nutella.
"We," She heard Khan Sahab whisper the word to himself as he leaned against the kitchen island facing her as she cracked eggs into a bowl. She felt a blush wash over her body at the proximity. Closing her eyes, Meerab took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Opening her eyes, she saw her husband smiling at her, very pleased with himself. Delight replaced the earlier ruthlessness in his eyes. Meerab mentally patted herself on the back for accomplishing the first step.
"Since we are baking, what would you like me to do?" Khan Sahab asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and traced her braid with the back of his hand. He seemed to do that a lot these days. Small touches here and there made her heart thud in her ears, but they also meant that he was learning to trust.
"Go get the flour from the counter behind me," Meerab gently ordered her Khan Sahab, pointing at a large container. Khan Sahab chuckled, then did as told. Meerab added the flour to the eggs and instructed her husband to put the container back, to which he protested, "The staff can do it in the morning."
"Khan Sahab, we put things back in their place after using them," Meerab reminded her husband and nudged him to return the container. Khan Sahab has mastered the art of cluttering. The man never put the lids back on his toiletries. His pens, files, and post-its were scattered all over the Haveli. Meerab spent half of her time cleaning after her husband. But this was her Khan Sahab, and she would not change him for anything.
She poured the warm Nutella into the mixing bowl and felt Khan Sahab behind her. He placed his hands on the counter, locking her between his arms and in front of him. He then put his head on her left shoulder. Her Khan Sahab was ready to tell her what was bothering him. Subconsciously she tilted her head to give him more room to settle his head as she whisked the ingredients into a batter.
"Rohail threatened you indirectly after the Panchayat today, Meerab. I would have killed him then and there had Armaan not stepped in between," Khan Sahab told her. Head on her shoulder, rage vibrated through him as he tried to take comfort from her presence. Her Khan Sahab craved contact when restless. "He is unhappy that the farmers won't have to pay him for water to irrigate their fields. He has made his intentions about you very clear. I won't bear a single scratch on you. Will you please reconsider a guard and a driver for the university?"
"I think that was more about riling you up to discredit you in the panchayat than me," Meerab marveled at the fact that he was still requesting her to reconsider rather than order a guard and driver onto her. "Armaan Bhai did the right thing stopping you."
"He said your name Meerab; how dare he?" she noticed that his knuckles had turned white due to how hard he was gripping the counter in anger. "His intentions towards you have never been good. I will not take any risks with you."
Meerab put aside the batter and covered his hands with hers. "If it makes you feel better, you can place a guard outside the university, but no driver," She felt his knuckles ease under her hands. "So much rage, Khan Sahab, just because someone said my name," she rubbed his hands, calming him down, "You can't stop people from saying my name."
Khan Sahab turned his hands around and entwined his fingers through hers. Lifting his head from her shoulder, he took a small step in and, placing his chin on her head, declared, "It is my Begum's name. No one else should be allowed to say it."
Meerab laughed at her husband's antics. How can anyone not love him? He was adorable. "Begum, Khan Sahab?" She inquired at the new moniker.
"Ji, My Wife, Meri Begum," her husband announced, pride evident in his tone. She could feel he was relaxed now. The storm has been contained for now. Taking a side step, still holding her other hand, he dragged the mixing bowl towards him. Dipping a finger in, he tasted the batter and nodded in approval.
As he was about to drop his fingers again for another taste, Meerab swatted her husband's hand away and passed him a tissue, "There is batter on your mustache." She informed him shyly. Grabbing the bowl, she turned to put the batter in the baking tray when she felt her dupatta choke her neck. She turned to see Khan Sahab holding a corner of her dupatta. Mischief dancing in his eyes, he wiped his mustache with her dupatta. Meerab felt the air leave her, her heart in her throat, and she stood glued to her spot. Her heartbeat was thundering in her ears, and her face felt hot.
"I don't care if you are a neat freak, Haq hai mera," Khan Sahab declared and then, grabbing the bowl from her hand, went to the counter, poured the batter into the tray, and placed it in the oven to bake. He grabbed the tea tray and left the kitchen with a massive smile, "I am waiting for you in the family room, Begum." Overwhelmed with his affections, Meerab leaned against the counter for support. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and followed her husband into the family room to join him for tea, smiling at her husband's shenanigans.
Seated together on the couch, they were having a casual conversation while Khan Sahan played with her bangles when Heer walked in, followed by Junaid Bhai. She tried tugging her hand away, but he simply engulfed it in his and asked his friend's wife, "What are you doing awake at this hour? You should be in bed, resting that baby of yours."
Heer gave Khan Sahab a pointed look while Junaid Bhai settled her on the loveseat, arranging the pillows to his wife's comfort, "That heavenly smell of hazelnut and chocolate woke the baby up."
"My Begum is making those brownies for me," Her Khan Sahab affirmed, "I am not sharing."
" Keep dreaming, Murtasim. Your Begum knows that Nutella Brownies were something I was craving for a while now," Heer announced, snuggling against her husband as he sat beside her. "Those brownies are for me."
Khan Sahab looked at her, wanting her to claim that the brownies were for him, "They not for Heer, or you, Khan Sahab. They are for the baby."
"Spoken like a Khan's wife, Meerab," Junaid supported Meerab, but a laugh escaped him.
The smell of brownies had woken the entire family up. One by one, they all made it to the living room. Ayat sat beside Meerab, resting her head on her lap, whereas Azan rested his head on Khan Sahab's shoulder. Surrounded by family and laughter, her Khan Sahab was now relaxed. One arm wrapped around Azan, and he leaned into the sofa. He played with her bangles as he joked with Agha Jaan and teased this niece and nephew. All the stress from the day seemed to have left him. Conversation and laughter flowed while everyone was waiting on the brownies. The Haveli finally had their Murtasim back, not just their Khan.
The following morning everyone woke up late. Meerab was prepping for breakfast in a rush when her phone beeped. The text from her husband read: "One of these days, I will wake up before you, Begum." Meerab simply responded with a thumbs-up emoji. When she woke up this morning, he looked content while sleeping. Giving into an urge, she ran her hand through his silky hair. Her husband was handsome, but what she admired in him the most was his strength. Every day he fought with his inner demons to provide for people who had watched his life get ruined like a spectacle.
She knew that the Khan's duties took a toll on him. It brought many painful memories back and refreshed the wounds he had been trying to heal for years. Meerab goal was to soothe and help him build himself back as Murtasim, the man who got lost in duties and heartbreak. She loved doing small things for him as they reassured him she was not going anywhere. She was trying to give him a sense of security and was glad he sought her out when something was troubling him. He was afraid to love just in case he lost it again. He protects her from the vultures of society, and she will protect his heart from his darkness. He was her haven. She wanted to become his. She knew he was hers from the first time she had seen him. All his flaws and fears included. She had even come to adore his mess.
He had once told her that he did not know how to do things slowly, so she vowed to pace him so he would not burn out. He had promised her respect and protection. He had insisted even though she had not wanted to attend university yet. Her dreams were important to him. He respected her opinions and her wishes. She has asked him to communicate once, and he bought her a dozen baskets of bangles and demanded in front of everyone, demanding that she wear them always for his sanity. Her feet did not touch the ground in happiness for a week. Now every time her bangles jingled, her heart filled with his love. Her husband loved buying her presents. Even his gifts showed his possessiveness and protection- the anklets and then the chaadar.
Khan Sahab was healing bit by bit. He was trying to place his trust in her, asking for her opinions rather than declaring things to her. Even though they had a world of differences, he treated her as an equal. The Karachi trip has changed a lot for both of them. Khan Sahab had made sure that there was not a spot of dust in the house. Khan Sahab had taken the time to buy her Saree and Jewelry himself. He had prioritized her needs while managing a business crisis. She had fallen in love with him all over again. He had given her a family, a name, and an identity.
Then at the auction, her Khan Sahab was adorably jealous. He was worried about other men, while all she cared about that night was not fumbling her sentences. His light was so bright; Meerab saw no one else. She wanted to make him proud that night and was nervous about the whole event. The warmth of his touch was enough to settle all her insecurities. Just his name made her feel protected. She derived her strength from him. Thunderstorm, was the word it came to people's minds when they thought of her husband. She loved that storm with all her might. His temper was lightning, his actions destructive winds, and his emotions the flooding rain. She loved all of it. Meerab welcomed the storm called Murtasim Khan because she knew the person in the storm's eyes was the safest.
This man who started this relationship on protection was now staking his claim on her. Now the attraction had become mutual. One look from her husband now had her heart racing at times. She would often catch him just observing her. His touches now held a claim. There were times when she had lost all her rational ability to think with his proximity. Her Khan Sahab was aware of his effect on her and was getting brave each day. He was letting the guards around his heart down, and she did not know how to process these feelings. This was uncharted territory for her, but her heart danced to his laughter at her reactions to their proximity.
Her heart trembled in excitement at his touch. His small caresses on her wrists left a warmth on her skin that lasted for hours. Her pulse sped up in shyness at his small claims. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at his advances. Their interactions were chaste and innocent, yet Meerab felt her world tilt a little every time. Her Khan Sahab had transitioned from partner to begum, bringing color to her life. He may not yet love her, but he was getting there. She was in no rush for him to catch up. Khan Sahab had all the time in the world. True love only gets more profound with time.
A/N- Okay here is the much-awaited Meerab's POV. Do tell me what you think about it? What worked what did not work. Comments and chappals are always welcome.
Again, I can't thank you all enough for loving Arziyaan so much and being okay with a weekly update. Keep the feedback coming. It keeps me motivated to write even when the life has me exhausted.
Love you all a lot.