Snow fell sleepily from the sky as Emmy and Sirius brought their baby girl home from the hospital two days later. As they fretted about keeping her cosy and warm in the blanket Molly Weasley had knitted for her, Maeve slept on unfazed.
Sirius opened the front door of the flat an stepped back to let them inside first out of the cold. He set the bags down in the hallway and watched Emmy strolling into the kitchen ahead, gazing down at their daughter asleep in her arms.
He smiled softly as she turned to look back at him, glowing with happiness.
"We're home," she whispered and he thought she'd never looked more beautiful.
The blissful moment was interrupted by a perturbed yowl from Mac curling his way around the door from their bedroom, appearing annoyed that they'd left him alone for two whole days. It obviously didn't matter to him that Dorcas had been in to feed him.
Sirius picked up the cat, rolling his eyes fondly as he let Mac nuzzle the top of Maeve's head softly. He sniffed at the bundle of blankets indifferently and soon clambered down, heading straight back to his food bowl.
"Maybe she'll grow on him," Emmy laughed.
"She's going to have to," he replied jokingly.
They soon settled Maeve for a nap and Sirius began to unpack the hospital bags, insisting that Emmy rest on the sofa with a cup of tea. She was still taking pain-relief potions hourly and was exhausted from the last few days; not only having given birth but all their friends coming to visit them in hospital bearing gifts and a lot of emotions. Maeve's arrival was the best thing that had happened in a long time and everyone was so happy for them, she was their little piece of hope and in times like these that was more powerful than any darkness.
Remus had actually cried when he first met her, holding her with trembling hands as he gushed over how tiny she was. He had sobbed even harder when they asked him to be godfather.
———————
In the first weeks that followed, their home was filled with a near constant stream of freshly-cooked meals and beautiful gifts from their friends. Every moment seemed to pass in a blur, the sleep-deprivation blending the days into one.
Mac the cat was growing more used to Maeve and while he always made a swift exit when she started crying, occasionally they caught him sitting next to her bassinet and nudging carefully at her blankets. Once, they had to grab him before he clambered in next to her.
Emmy and Sirius grew closer together every day they spent looking after their daughter, if that was even possible. In the moments when all she wanted to do was burst into tears, Sirius was there to hold her tight and take Maeve out in the pram for a walk, and when they both woke to her cries every few hours at night, they squeezed each others hands and went to settle her in turns.
Sirius loved every moment of being a dad and Emmy often found him drinking a coffee in the morning with Maeve asleep on his chest, glowing smile on his face. She had never loved him more.
Remus tried to drop in for dinner at least once a week but he was constantly doing surveillance or raids for the Order so it was hard catching him for more than an hour at a time. He would spend most of the evening holding Maeve, so distracted that his food would go cold before he even took a bite.
Emmy loved to watch him with her, but as time went on she began to worry about him too. He seemed to spend every waking moment putting himself in danger, it was like he could find no other purpose in life other than to throw himself wholeheartedly in the face of whatever was most likely to kill him. Mad-Eye and Dumbledore praised his fervent endeavours at every opportunity, but anyone who really knew him could see it was destroying him.
She knew both James and Sirius had tried to confront him about it but he had denied how reckless he was being, insisting he was doing what anyone else would do in his position. She knew all to well exactly the line of thought he was going down; how he couldn't stop until everyone he loved was safe, too traumatised by the grief he felt to stop fighting for one. It was how she had felt after Fabian and Gideon's deaths, and again after Mira disappeared, after Euphemia and Fleamont died, after Marlene was murdered in front of her, and in a way how she had felt when her father died.
She couldn't blame him, she just wished he would stop blaming himself.
———————
When Maeve was almost two months old, she attended her first Order of the Phoenix meeting. It was the first time Emmy had been back since giving birth and she basked in the joy on her friends' faces when they spotted her in the doorway.
Lily and Alice hugged her tightly as Frank not-so-subtly begged to hold the baby, claiming he needed to practise more before their little boy was born in a few months time. They all knew it was just because he was a big softy. James pulled out a chair for Emmy as she let the others coo over her baby now snuggled in Frank's gentle arms.
Even Mad-Eye couldn't help but coming to have a look and looked oddly pleased when Maeve wrapped her tiny hand around his finger.
"She's far too trusting of strangers, Lupin," he growled.
"Don't worry Mad-Eye, you'll just need to teach her constant vigilance," she replied teasingly. His mechanical eye rolled with exasperation, but he chuckled softly.
The rest of the meeting was a more sombre affair.
Dumbledore reported more setbacks and the disappearance of another two Order members a couple of days ago. Emmy didn't know them well but it still felt like a blow to the chest. It weighed heavily on her as she thought of what their loved ones were going through right now. She held Maeve closely to her, listening as dangerous plans were made and flinched as her friends volunteered for every one of them.
She sat there numbly as James offered to stand watch outside Dolohov's last known location and Dory, Frank and Remus agreed to raid the Rosier family's house. The final blow was when Sirius raised his hand to take a shift guarding the Hogwarts boundaries.
She stood as Maeve began to stir, taking the welcome opportunity to get some fresh air.
Andromeda and Ted Tonk's garden was beautiful even in the dead of winter. She pulled her thick coat around herself and Maeve then cast lumos to illuminate the gravel path in front of her.
The stones crunched under her feet as she wandered through the trees and gazed out over the fields stretching on for mile, the sun setting on the horizon.
Birds rustled in the snow-dusted branches above and a horse nickered gently at the brow of the hill, but there was serenity in the quietness of that moment, almost resigning itself to the peacefulness.
She inhaled slowly and let her breath materialise in the air like a dragon breathing smoke.
"We're gonna get through this, me and you," she whispered to her daughter. "It's all going to be alright, I promise you that."
Maeve looked up at her, wondering eyes taking in all the shadows that haunted the face of the mother who loved her more than life itself.
"One day, when you're grown up I'll tell you about this. I'll tell you how much we all fought for you and you won't have any idea of what it felt like because I never want you to feel how I'm feeling right now."
She heard footsteps behind her and turned sharply, realising the tension had never left her shoulders. Even here in the safety of countless protective charms, she couldn't let her guard down.
Sirius stopped short realising he'd startled her then.
"Love?" he called to her. "Are you alright?"
She said nothing but let him hold her and Maeve, tucking her head into the crook of his neck as tears flooded her eyes.
He stilled as he felt them on his skin.
"Are you warm enough?" he asked quietly.
She nodded, not finding the strength in her voice to reply.
"Come on, let's go inside."
"Wait," she mumbled, pulling him back.
She rose on her toes and held him tightly as she kissed him. The familiar motion felt visceral and grounding. It was everything she needed when her mind was spiralling into panic and grief for things that hadn't even happened yet, for everything that was still to come.
"I love you," she said, more sure of herself than she had been in months. It was one thing she knew for sure, the one thing that would never change.
"I love you too," he replied, his voice low. He looked down at Maeve and stroked a finger gently down her cheek. His skin was rough and scarred and beautifully juxtaposed to her undaunted innocence.
"Is this ever going to end?" she asked, breathless with her own vulnerability.
"It will. Just a little longer."
She leant into his embrace, needing the strength he gave her more than ever.
All she wanted to do was run and hide away in their cottage by the lakes until the war was over, but she had lost and sacrificed too much not to fight until the very end. That kept the fire burning inside her, reigniting with every memory she had of the pain and grief the war had caused her.
"Let's go inside," he said softly. "If we're lucky Andy will let us have some of that delicious steak pie I've been smelling all evening."
She let out a breathy laugh. The comfort of Sirius' cousin's food always made her feel better.
——————
Most of the Order had left by the time they got back to the house. Emmy could hear hushed voices from the sitting room but Andromeda and Ted were still sitting at the kitchen table, weary faces as they sipped their tea.
"Ah there you all are," Sirius' aunt said brightly, as he shut the door behind them.
"Sorry, we'll just head off," Emmy replied quickly, sensing the forced nature of Andromeda's relaxed appearance. "I needed some fresh air."
"Don't be ridiculous, you'll sit down and have some dinner with us," she ordered, smiling warmly.
"Are you sure?" Emmy asked, trying to catch her eye but she breezed past them and levitated another couple of chairs towards them.
Sirius hurriedly sat down, tugging Emmy with him. "Thank you, Andy!" he called.
"Of course I'm sure," she turned to face them. "Besides, Sirius is practically drooling on the floor. I know you've had your eye on that steak pie since you arrived, boy!"
He grinned sheepishly.
"Can you blame the boy?" Ted asked, pouring them both a cup of tea.
"No I suppose not," she replied, rolling her eyes. "It'll be ready in ten minutes."
"How have you guy been doing? I don't think we slept for the first year when Nymphadora was born," her husband joked.
Sirius laughed, "Yeah there's not a lot of sleep happening for anyone apart from Maeve."
"Well you know if you ever need anything, you can ask us. We're very happy to babysit and supply more steak pie when required," Andromeda said, squeezing Emmy's shoulder as she looked adoringly down at Maeve.
"Thank you," she said emotionally, knowing the woman had no idea how much that meant to her.
She finally began to relax a little as Ted set out the plates and cutlery, enjoying such a sense of normalcy. It felt like she'd barely left the house since Maeve had been born and it had taken a huge effort to tidy up her hair and put on sufficient clothing for a chilly February evening.
This felt good though, being back surrounded by friends and more tuned in with what was happening with the Order. She hadn't expected to miss the meetings as much as she did. They were as intense as they always had been, but she hadn't liked feeling so disconnected.
As the pie finished cooking, Andromeda filled them in on the latest reports of dark activity around the Hogwarts perimeter. Dumbledore hadn't mentioned it during the meeting as they didn't have anything confirmed, but there were suspicions that death-eaters had been trying to break in a couple of nights ago.
Her mouth watered as Ted placed a plate of pie in front of her and with her hands full she was endlessly grateful when Sirius immediately set to work cutting it up into bite-size pieces.
Just as Emmy brought the first forkful of pie to her mouth, a door slammed down the hall and the sound of hurried footsteps resounded as Lily skittered into the kitchen.
Her face was grief-stricken and panicked when she realised who was looking back at her in shock.
"Lily?" Emmy exclaimed. "Are you alright?"
She hurriedly handed Maeve to Sirius and stood up to reach her distraught friend, but Lily burst into tears with one look at the baby. She stepped into the fireplace before anyone could get to her and floo-ed away. James skidded into the kitchen as the green flames flared.
"Mate?" Sirius called. "What's happened?"
His chair screeched as he got up, but James had already leapt into the flames after his wife.
———————
it's me
hi
i'm the problem, it's me
okay so it's taken me three months to write this chapter, but the good news is that i've already started the next one and it should be up in about two weeks!
also wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been reading, commenting and voting recently, it means the world to me that people are enjoying it <3