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You know, there is no difference between this sharp blade and the memories that we carry.
This blade edged sharply scrapes your skin. And Memories. They to do it. They scrap your heart. When the blade strike your skin, blood gushes out of your veins, and when memories does, tears comes out, of your heart.
My teary eyes, gaze at the blade residing on my wrist, acclaiming of my stupidity.
I balled my fist, when Reyansh voice once again echoes,"I'm coming, I'm coming."
He chants over and over again, the sound of shuffling coming around.
Come fast. As I don't know until how long I'll be able to keep my mind rational, and not let the sanity drive out of it.
True to his words, he is right infront of me, jumping in my balcony. His usually calm face bespoke the length of worriedness he's going through, and rushes towards me.
He engulfs me in a hug. My hand clenched on either side of his waist. Letting the blade fall out of my hand, I fist his shirt, letting the horror of past minutes, slip out of me.
"Say it to me." I manage to utter, even if it itched my dry throat to even call it.
"What?"
"That I'm safe." The dismay of everything has still shaken me, that believing myself that I'm safe and sound, is turning hard.
"Let me, feel it to you."
Saying so, his tall and imposing figure, presses himself more on to me, not enough to block my oxygen.
"Cry. Let it out."
The tears which I's trying to keep at bay, comes gushing now, wetting my moist cheeks.
"Let it go."
No; I was not crying but showing the amount of pain, and sorrow I engulfed in me. The deposits of the years, had to come out. So they did, breaking the wall, I created, to trap them.
All along I thought, I was fine doing okay. But, today when the dam of my emotions break loose, I knew I am more than fine. I kept myself under the heavy downpour, forgot what an umbrella was.
Somehow today, I got my umbrella. Protecting me from the cold.
I keep my chin on his shoulder, encircling my hands on his back.
I press myself more to drink in ever warm presence of his body. My form shivering in his arms. We both kept silence. We both didn't speak anything. I let my eyes cry, and he let my heart calm.
After he assures, that I'm not shivering anymore, he breaks the hug. He press his knuckle wiping away the tears. My red rimmed eyes, taking in his glistening eyes. He brings both my hand, examining my wrist.
What a blunder mistake I was going to do.
Bending down, he picks the fallen blade, keeping it in his blazer pocket.
Pursuing his lips, he utters,"Is it because of me?"
His eye beholding the thread of hope, begging me to say a no.
I shake my head.
"Is it because of your family?" His tone deeping with each words. As if, he is trying to keep his anger in gulf, and patience becoming his utmost criteria.
I shake my head, my lips quivering. I look away from him, not having enough courage to face my stupidity.
"Give me the reason Kiraz. And I'll vanish its every element, prevent it from touching you." He grunts.
I shake my head once again.
"It's me."
"What?"
"It's me. The problem is not anyone Reyansh. The problem is me." I cry out, throwing my hand in air.
"I am not able to breath Reyansh. I am thrown into an ocean, where the waves crushes me. However hard I try to come out this vast ocean, the waves still drags me back in. I am roaming, cutting the shoots of the plant, I once harvest." I push back my hair, touching the back of my hand on my mouth to cover the sob.
"I am cold Reyansh. I am so cold, that even the blanket can't give me the warmth, I am so lost that even the path is invisible to me." I run my fingers along the roots of my hairs, clenching at the end.
I crouched down, not having enough energy to stand anymore and bear my emotional and physical dilemma.
The other man, squats on his knees, cradling me on his laps. He rubs my back, ever so gently, as if he is caressing a flowers petal. He lifts me of the ground. On reflex, I snake my arms around his neck. My eyes still pouring, and my nose blocked to inhale any breath.
Being clueless, I can only look at him, since talking and questioning his action, doesn't happen to be my utmost concern now.
He takes me to balcony. Then sitting down, he keeps me inbetween his legs.
"Breath now. Calm yourself down."
I catch on the breath which I was unknowingly holding back.
Saying so, he keep my head over his chest, bringing me more closer by my waist, and running his finger on my scalp.
Again a silent tear rolls out of my eyes. It travels from my eyes, following my cheek, and then disappearing in my hairs. Disappearing just like my earlier agitated reaction, to the situation. I press my ears listening to the lub-dub of his heart, desperately attempt to divert my mind.
"How were you feeling?"
"Fine."
"Earlier." He corrects me.
"Like," I inhale a breath, continuing,"I am walking alone, seeing everything happening right before my eyes, taunting words of others echoing, and watching everyone leaving my hands. The place was a sea shore, the waves were crashing on my feet. The view was splendid, I turn around to look over to my people, but found no one."
"Look up" he whispers.
I look at him. But he looks at the dark night sky. I copy him.
"Look at the burning beads the nature on the command of the sun, has painted in the form of stars. So that his lover, his moon is not alone." He remarks.
I look at our interlaced fingers.
"Didn't I kidnapped you. Didn't I married you. Against your wish. Still you nullified my desire of wanting your every inch. What makes you think you're undesired. Lend me your command, of loving you. I will sprawl my burning stars, on every inch of your skin, digging it deeper, so even you wouldn't think of going back on your words. So that, it'll accompany you fight beside you, against the unpleasant thoughts."
Passion of his words embrace me.
He tilt my chin, caressing under my eyes.
He looks calm now, his dark gaze void of anything. But, the cold eyes are capable of showing emotion. I reminisce the earlier person, who jumped in my balcony. His clear eyes clueless, panicked, angry, swirling in them, yet worry and care swirling beautifully, overpowering everything.
"I wouldn't say, life is precious and all. I don't find it anything less than a living nightmare. But you can find your sun, who would never let you be cold."
I nod, not knowing for what. But I do the deed. He plants a kiss over the crown of my head. The calming breeze carry besides us.
"What happened that lead you to think this?" He hiss, but caution enough with his tone.
I twist my lips, not knowing whether to say the truth or just like always lie.
At this stage I prefer non.
"Something, unpleasant. Which I don't want to be reminded of."
He hums not probing on it more.
"I'll wait for it to know. Looks like we just gone through the trailer. Plot is left." His chest rumbles, his laugh contagious enough to make my own to come.
"Can you tell me the story of rain and thunder?" I mumble.
"Again?" He questions.
I nod.
"One day, rain asks thunder, why people hates you? When I drench every thing when I pour. I wetten the land ,the trees, the grass, the living things. Everything on earth. Bring chaos in the nature. But you don't do anything, atleast like that.
To which thunder replies, not everyone hates me. Who looks at my beauty and motive instead of my destruction, admires me. Before you, I go on earth. I anounce your presence. I save people, from getting drenched. But humans have the tendency to avoid good, leaching on bad. They dislikes me for my nature, with which I am born. They are afraid to embrace my flaw."
"And the story ends." I complete him.
I add,"Now, the moral of the story."
"Just like cloud, carries thunder and rain, we humans also carry our own nature. When thunder goes out of way, rain soothes the place. When a person is getting wrong the other one must be the rain to bloom flower in his garden." He ends.
"Such a beautiful story is it." I say, recalling the first time I heard it. I really like the story.
Fills you to look at things from other side to.
"Who told you this story?" I ask, a frown marrying on my face.
He runs his fingers on my neck, causing unwanted shivers to run on my skin.
"Someone."
I interlace my fingers hooking my knees underneath.
"By the way, how did you know that I was," I couldn't comprehend my next words, since my mind couldn't couraged enough to remember my grave mistake.
"I've my ways."
I squint my eyes at him.
"Wait! Did you installed cameras in my room. You pervert." I turn around facing him.
He hiss, throwing his head back. A throaty grunt escapes from his mouth, causing my inner coil to twist.
"Lady don't move so much."
My cheeks heats up, when I get his words.
To hide my shyness, I try to turn around, but he helds me by my waist, keeping me fixed on my position. I can feel his hard, poking on my hip bone.
"What did I say about moving?"
He leans closer, almost touching his nose to mine.
Before he could, advance more, I interject,
"You're changing the topic? How did you know?"
He sighs,"You wouldn't let me kiss you, right?"
I shake my head in denial.
"You would, if I tell you the truth." He offers, his negotiating voice whispered down to seduction, causing me to clench my thighs.
"Not happening." I wave him off.
He grunts, sulking on it.
"Now tell me." With a shake of his head, he dismays me.
I nudge him, poking on his chest. When he gets irritated by my relentless moving and prodding, he scowls, giving in.
"I was missing you. You were not picking up my phone, so I thought to visit you. Coming in your house was out of the option and you didn't answered my call. So I sneaked in your neighbours terrace. I even brought my binoculars to see you clearly." He falls silent.
"The irony is, I came to give you a suprise but in return I got myself suprised."
My head lowers in shame. Whatever I did, was such a coward move. Just because of few chaotic thoughts, and my brother not desiring my presence when he just desire more of his parents presence in his life. I thought he doesn't needs me. And one thing led to another. Still, instead of understanding I became impulse.
I really need to take things calmly for my own betterment. I blink my eyes, to remove the welling tears.
"Smile."
I snap out of my daze when a click sound comes. Lifting my attention from my fidgeting finger, I see Reyansh phone.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Capturing you."
"So cheesy. Doesn't suits you." I utter.
"Well, I didn't understand how you jumped on their terrace, without breaking your bones." I look at him astonished.
He smirks, tiling the tip of his lips.
"What do you do for living?" He squints his eyebrow, frowning at me.
"I know you run your Empire. But in addition, I mean, do you take crime as you part time." I elaborate further,"First you kidnapped me, then married me forcefully, and now you breached someone's privacy, by jumping on their terrace. You know if I submit everything in court with given evidences, I bet you had be in trouble."
My eyes flickers to him. However, to my utmost shock he looks totally blank with a strange furry in his way of depicting his calm face.
"Ah!" I say, clicking my finger,"Are you scared?" I laugh at him.
There was a potent trace of amusement in him, he chuckles along me.
"Reyansh is only scared to loose you." He muses.
"Okay, meet you behind the bars." I resort, sassily.
He gives me a strange, unnerve look.
I forward my hand for a handshake. Which he later joins with his own.
"Sure, my lady."
A knock on my door, breaks out trance.
Reyansh defies me a look. Panic seizes in me. I press my palm on his lips, hussing him from speaking a word.
"Kiraz, open the door." Its mom, who continuously twist the door knob, in the aim of entering the room.
And to my sheer bad luck, the man licks my inner palm. I warn him with my eyes, but he just ignores me.
"Mom, I am changing my clothes." I stammer.
Reyansh nods his head, mischievous lacing in his eyes.
"Okay, dinner is ready. Come down, fast!"
"Okay." I call out loud.
When I assure that she is gone, I remove my palm, looking at the saliva smudged skin.
I gagged wipping of it with the tissue paper placed on the small coffe table in my balcony.
"Oh, I didn't see your room." He gets up hurriedly scurrying in my room.
Bewildered flashes over me, as I whisper yelled at him.
"Hey, now you are breaching a girls privacy."
He turn around, tilts his head, smirking at me,
"Not just any girl, but my wife's."
Just, like that he was able to divert my mind. His seductive care for me gave no space for chaotic thoughts, and only he ruled the place, without fighting a war.
••~~••
Huh, finally she is at peace.
Suggest something for further chapter, which you would like to see. And guys, don't even let the thought of suicide even visit you. We all are strong, and if any day you feel lost, and have no one to turn to. Remember I will listen to you.
Hope you like the chapter.
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Published:24 June,2023.