ILARIA'S BODY SHOOK WITH COLD. Her barefeet walked on soft soil, moss - she was surrounded by trees. She was dimly aware that she had been clutching something but she couldn't bring herself to look down at her hands.
She walked and walked for what felt like miles, with no sense of direction - where was she going? The air felt thick with fear but Ilaria wasn't scared - no, there was someone else. Someone else was scared.
A scream pierced through the heavy silence of the woods she'd been walking in, Ilaria instinctly brought her hands up to her ears and came to a abrubt halt.
She swirled around on her spot, trying to make out where the scream could have came from, her heart was pounding, she was clutching the thing in her hands tighter.
To her right, hidden behind the branches of trees, Ilaria spotted a cabin. There was no light on, no sign of life.
She stared at it for a long time, the silence of the woods - that of insects crawling, owls hooting, trees swaying surrounded her. So when a girl banged on the window of the cabin Ilaria nearly jumped out of her skin.
The girl was banging her hand flat against the window, tears were falling down her face like rivers, her hair was knotted and fell in a wave of messy curls around her face.
Ilaria stepped forward but her vision was obscured by a man, she frowned and tried stepping around him but he placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her.
"what are you doing out here all alone?" he said, Ilaria tilted her head back to look at him but it was as though his face was blacked out, like she was staring at a gaping void.
"There's a girl" she muttered with a point at the cabin "in there, she needs help"
The man shook his head and let out a pitiful noise "no no, that cabin has been empty for years. You're dreaming." he said "you're dreaming of a princess in her tower, you like princesses." he said it so matter of factly that Ilaria felt a pit in her stomach, though she wasn't sure why.
Ilaria woke up with a gasp, her hand clawing at her top. She pushed herself up against her headboard and dropped her head on her knees.
She had been having nightmares but not like this. She'd have nightmares of Kenna, of her father but never of herself.
She ran a hand through her hair and pulled on it hard to wake herself up, she grabbed her phone off her nightstand, it was already 12pm in the afternoon.
Drowsily, Ilaria slipped out of bed and made her way downstairs- she felt like a robot someone had taken apart and put back together poorly.
The snow was still coming down hard and her house was eerily quiet, her mother was gone to work and Tate... Well one could never know where Tate was, he was always some place or another.
Ilaria let out a sigh, grateful for the solitude. Ever since she got Kenna's phone from Rose she had begun feeling so utterly drained, she hadn't spoken to Kai in 3 days nor to Rose.
Both of which had tried calling her multiple times. It was a bad habit of hers, to crawl in on herself and ignore the outside world.
As for the phone,it lay in her drawer, underneath a multitude of paper and books - a poor attempt at putting as much distance between herself and the inevitable.
She threw herself on the couch and grabbed her TV remote, just one more day and she'd get back to them.
I just need to breathe
She told herself and then I'll call them back.
That thought was immediately cut off by the doorbell ringing.
"I've got Chinese" Kai said as a way of greeting, shaking the packet infront of her face.
Ilaria hadn't realized how much she actually missed him until then"why are you here?"
"you're ignoring me." he said matter of factly "so I'm bribing you with Chinese takeout so you'll tell me what's wrong"
Ilaria stepped aside to let him in "nothings wrong."
Kai's eyebrows shot up "you're a poor liar."
Ilaria clucked her tounge and lead him to the kitchen, where she quietly unpacked their food and carefully avoided his eyes.
When she looked up, Kai was observing her with an expectant air.
"nothing is wrong" she repeated herself slowly and shot him a glare.
"why are you shutting me out?" he mumbled "I want to help."
"I DONT NEED YOUR HELP!" Ilaria almost screamed "Look, you barely know me -"
"barely know you?" Kai looked so crestfallen Ilarias voice caught in her throat.
"I didn't mean..."
Kai shook his head,stood up and began walking out the kitchen "it's okay."
"I didn't -" Ilaria tugged on his shirt "can we please just forget about it"
Kai turned around, his eyes roamed over her face in that way she detested most of the time "No, I think you need some time to think." he told her softly "when you're done with that, I'm a call away."
"I'm fine" Ilaria stubbornly shook her head "don't leave."
"you say it like I'm never going to speak to you again, just take my advice and take a moment to yourself" he twirled a piece of her hair around his finger and tucked it behind her ear "I'm not leaving you, Agent. Not now, not ever."
Ilaria bit down on her lip, it made her feel worse that he was always so understanding. That he didn't seem even remotely angry at her - though he should be.
Kai took Ilarias silence as a cue to leave, her mother stepped in just as he left.
Ilaria stood frozen in the center of the hallway, he wasn't mad her - so why did she still feel her heart pulling?
"what did I tell you about having boys in the house when no one's home?" her mother asked with a stern look, hands on her hips. When Ilaria didn't answer her, her face softened and she dropped her arms "what's wrong?"
"why do i ruin everything" Ilaria asked averting her eyes from the door to her mothers.
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For someone who loved words as much as Ilaria did, she sure was at a loss for them quite alot.
Her mother sat at the edge of her bed still waiting for a reply to her everyday "how are you?"
Ilaria stared deep into her cup, frowning at her murky reflection-when she looked up again she answered honestly "I have been okay, well - better than before."
"so what was that about?"
Ilaria's cheeks pinked, she never spoke about boys to her mother. It was an unspoken rule, her mother would probably toss her out the nearest window and considering her room had an entire wall for a window, it wasn't the wisest choice.
"nothing." she lied and her mother smiled softly with a laugh.
"is this about that white boy?"
"mom!"
"what, he is white, isnt he?" her mother grinned back and Ilaria laughed. Her mother took her hand and shook her head "you didn't ruin anything."
"so why does it feel like I did?"
Her mother clicked her tongue and shifted to sit against Ilaria's headboard with her "oh jaanu (𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐), that boy looks at you like you're the only girl in the world. Even I see it."
Ilaria rolled her eyes "we're just friends"
"you should tell him that." her mother answered "usake dil ka pyaar (𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝), that's what you are to him, I don't think that's very platonic"
Ilaria let out a laugh "no, you're completely wrong. That's ridiculous."
Her mother got up and straightened out her pants "I could be" she shrugged "but mothers always know"
"and since when are you open to the idea of me and boys?" Ilaria retorted.
"I have a good feeling about that one" her mother shrugged "and I can't protect you from everything."
She began spinning her wedding ring "I'm telling you, that's the kind of love that will last you your whole life. The way he looks at you? That's how your father looked at me. Like he'd do anything for you and believe me, he would."
With that her mother left and Ilaria slumped down, that can't be true. She shook her head to banish any thought of Kai having any sort of feelings towards her, they were friends. End of story.
"stop betraying me" Ilaria muttered as if speaking to her heart that was skipping over a few very necessary beats.
After Ilaria finally shook off the butterflies in her stomach she pulled out her notebook and began writing down what she remembered of the dream she had.
She remembered mostly everything, so why couldn't she remember the man's face. With her pen in hand she closed her eyes and tried to recall the dream for the 4th time.
I was walking through the woods, there was a cabin - with a girl in it.
A man tells me it's nothing... Who is he?
"who is he?" she repeats to herself but the more she did so, the more hazy her brain became. So she gave it up and slumped back under her blankets.
She had just begun dozing off when a new thought hit her.
What if it wasn't a dream? What if it was a memory?
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Hey heyyy
😭i knowww i said double update, im halfway done with the next chapter so hopefully you guys can still get it tonight.
thank you for the patience. I will try updating more frequently, i promise.
Also, what do you guys think of this chapter?? Did you enjoy it??
Any theories on Ilarias dream?
I dont speak hindi and i used google for the little of it that Ilarias mom used so PLEASE if theres any mistake please correct me :)
And again, Thank you for reading!
Dont forget to vote if you enjoyed this chapter ❤️