Hey everyone! It's your author here again, I loved the response I got for the last chapter and I hope you all like this also. Do you all like Dhriti's picture attached above?
It is still disheartening that each chapter gets more than a 100 reads but not even 10 votes, readers, please vote and comment. I have the next chapter nearly done, so if you all vote and comment, I will update it in this week itself!
Do you all want pictures in the book? Or no pictures?
~~~~~~~
It was rather beautiful: the way he put her insecurities to sleep. The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones.
~~~~~~~~
"What other option do you see? The poison has spread everywhere already! We must be quick." Sahdev said pained at the state of Draupadi
"He may die!" Nakul yelled back at which Sahdev said, "If we don't she will definitely die."
"Umm, brothers, it is my life force right, shouldn't I have some say?" Yudhishthira tried to intervene in the argument. "So, you are fine with risking his life?" Nakul questioned back. At this Sahdev sighed, "No, but we must save her." Sahdev said as Nakul shook his head in fury and tried to continue pulling out the poison.
"It is my life force; I have a right that my opinion be considered-" Yudhishthira tried again but was royally ignored by his younger brothers who continued to pull out the nightlock from Draupadi.
"We need it, pulling out poison isn't enough!" Sahdev said as Nakul openly glared at him.
"Damn it! It is my life force! My opinion should matter." He yelled as both his brothers looked at him and nodded robotically. "I will do it, it doesn't matter if it will risk my life. We can't let Draupadi die." Yudhishthira said softly.
"See? Even he agrees!" Sahdev said panicking as Draupadi got bluer by the second. "You cant take advantage of his selflessness!" Nakul snapped back forgetting about the dice hall for a second, until it came crashing back, and he sighed, "Lets do it."
"Grab her hand and enter a state of nothingness." Nakul told Yudhishthira in a distant voice as the latter obliged. Yudhishthira took Draupadi's hand and closed his eyes. Nakul and Sahdev, operated with utmost care on Draupadi, the daughter of fire, who was the source of warmth in the coldest nights of their life, the source of light in the darkest moments of their existence.
Suddenly, Yudhishthira opened his eyes with a start, panting and shivering. He felt his brother's gazes on him assuring him to go again. He tried but opened his eyes instantly and withdrew his hand as if he was shocked, finding no relief in the laps of nature or Draupadi's pale hand, because there everything was real. Too real.
He felt himself crash as he tried to scream but no sound came out, he felt trapped in the darkness which had no end, no beginning. He focused, begged for a way out but nothing happened. Blackness was everywhere. Deep down, he knew it wasn't just a hallucination—what he saw, truly existed just beyond the veil of the world, and the poisonous berries Draupadi had had somehow opened his mind to see them when he tried to help her.
Images from the dice hall haunted him, scratching the boundaries of his brain, filling his heart with it and the guilt was too immense to bear. It's like she was trying to push him away. Each time he tried to close his eyes, he wished he didn't open them again, never ever again.
He shivered as he put immediately distance between him and Draupadi, Sahdev asked worried at his state, "Are you ok?" Yudhishthira shook his head frantically, "I- I can't do it." He hugged his knees and said softly, his eyes staring behind them in fear.
"What?" Nakul asked as Yudhishthira rocked back and forth, paralyzed in fear, and bathed in guilt.
"I- I can't do it, I tried to hold her hand and enter a state of nothingness, but- but it's like there is a barrier between that's stopping me, darkness, and- and it's dragging me with it."
"This shouldn't happen, it should be easier considering you are her husband!" Sahdev said worried.
"You don't understand! Draupadi's soul is refusing his life force, it doesn't want anything from him. Forcing her to accept it is too dangerous for bhrata Yudhishthira." Nakul said, as Sahdev replied, "But the connection of a husband and wife transcends this!"
Nakul sighed frustrated, "I didn't want to say this out loud, but my theory is that after their trust broke in the dice hall, she hasn't accepted him yet, and trust and safety are necessary in a relation."
Yudhishthira looked down sadly as he heard Nakul's words, and an Einstein realization hit him, even unconscious at the gate of death, his panchaali would rather die than accept his help. "Why can't one of you do it?" Yudhishthira asked as Sahdev shook his head, "She is on the gate of death, we both need to be here to operate on her if we have any hope of saving her."
"So, what do we do?" Sahdev asked as they suddenly heard a bundle of woods hit the floor and there, at the threshold stood Bheem and Arjun looking at Panchali in panic. They rushed to their wife, the queen of their hearts. Arjun, took her hand and sobbed bitterly, while Bheem grabbed his mace, "Who did this to her? I will send them to death right now!" He thundered as suddenly Nakul and Sahdev exchanged sad glances.
If there was someone among the five of them panchaali explicitly trusted was either Bheem or arjun. But currently they knew Bheem was a better option, for water extinguishes fire, while wind flares the fire higher and higher.
"Bhrata Bheem, sit down and take her hand and focus your concentration upon her, and solely her." Sahdev said hopefully as Bheem did so. "All your attention on her, and her only." Nakul added as Bheem gave a small smile, "My attention has been solely on her ever since she came to me, clad in red robes. This shouldn't be hard."
"Don't underestimate it Bhrata, she subconsciously pushed and foiled all attempts Jyesth made." Sahdev said as Bheem rolled his eyes, "I didn't bet her away, he did." Yudhishthira looked at Bheem aghast at the open hate displayed. Bheem gave an apologetic look to Yudhishthira.
Nakul smiled at how some strength returned to Panchaali the moment Bheem held her hand. Bheem felt himself drift away into darkness, but there, shone a sole star, diminishing slightly, pulling him there, burning faintly. He felt a pull towards it and let his heart follow. In the darkness, was a flickering flame, slowly rising higher at Bheem's proximity.
The flame called to him, begged to be caressed and he, couldn't say no. The flame burned, as he sent it higher and higher, it's ambers flying everywhere, lighting up the darkness. Bheem didn't know how time he spent, kindling the flame his soul could sense, faint but it was there.
But then something extraordinary happened.
Doors, doors, doors all burst open. Doors of wood, doors of iron, doors of air and magic.
And from another world, Draupadi swept down in the darkness, cloaked in golden light. The fiery queen's hair glittered like a shooting star as she plummeted into that darkness where it was only him and her. He knew this was just a hallucination but he couldn't help but wish it was real, and his brothers could also see their wife in her fire.
Nakul shook him out of his trance as his eyes met his wife's ebony eyes that gazed up at him, she was awake. She was saved.
"You did it Bhrata!" Arjun hugged him tight, as Bheem pushed him away, "You would squish Panchaali also." He scolded arjun. "Jyesth, are you ok? The darkness-" Bheem asked extremely concerned yet masking his tone as a formal tone as Yudhishthira shook his head in a yes.
The next day, Karna came out of his penance as he felt a soothing presence. Self-luminous Surya, blazing, beautiful, showed himself in his incarnate form, over the water.
"I shall grant your prayer, dear son. I will provide nourishment for as many as are hungry. For all your twelve years in the wilderness I will make sure that your needs are met." The shining god vanished after giving an incandescent disk to Karna.
Emerging from the river, Karna handed the disk to Draupadi but when he saw she looked pale he decided to cook a meager meal himself. Karna was astonished as the food kept multiplying itself and did not stop until everyone had eaten, then he turned to Draupadi and said, "Sister, please eat." For the first time since the dice hall Draupadi smiled seeing everyone's content faces.
~~~~~~~'
Dhriti walked back to her chambers, tired to the bone, today she had been declared the general. The silken drapes had some of the darkest secrets hidden, but today, she wasn't scrutinising anything royal she saw, she went her chamber and feel on her bed dizzy. This had never happened to her before, not even when she would train soldiers in Mathura from early morning to post midnight.
Something was wrong with her, she could feel it, she knew herself. But there was no one, she could confide in, no one she trusted implicitly in this city of doom.
Her thoughts lingered to Devika, the pious lady, she was so different to Duryodhan, as different as black and white. But she wasn't one to judge them if they loved each other. Devika was pregnant with Duryodhana's son, she had just found out. She couldn't believe it, but the proof of Duryodhana and Devika's union rested in Devika's womb.
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. And that is what she wanted to know, something dark and twisted was up in the relation, and she had to know that.
Her mind flashed back to her conversation with Devika, the morning after the dice hall, before she found out Devika was pregnant.
Devika had watched her brother go away, upset, and heartbroken without looking back and her eyes were full of glistening tears, Dhriti had seen the love in her eyes, she had looked and Devika and asked,
"After all this time?"
"Always," said Devika.
That's when Dhriti realized, no one got their happy ending, not her, not her brother, not Sahdev, not Subhadra, not arjun, not karna, all that was brought was destruction. She furrowed her eyes remembering her meet with Duryodhana today after being coronated his general. Something she hadn't expected to happen so soon.
And all she could say was he was not all bad, he trusted her implicitly even though she was the enemy's sister. She would never forget the way he held her in captivity, they way he humiliated her family, but now, she had to dwell in the present and she couldn't bite the hand that fed her, not so soon, not when she didn't know enough.
The mysteries made her head hurt as she went to the bathroom and puked her guts out. A sudden realization hit her as she stood in front of the mirror analyzing her body, it couldn't be, could it?
She was turned to stone and stared at her reflection which stared back. She didn't know what to do, but she knew she wasn't wrong, she was a warrior, and she knew her body. She was pregnant with Sahdev's child.
Her eyes widened with fear and dread, she wasn't married, she was young and in the enemy's house, no one could know this. The new mother in her knew she couldn't abort so soon, her child deserved a shot at life, and she would do whatever it would take. He/She hadn't done anything to be deprived of life, yet she couldn't keep him/her. Only a woman could understand a woman.
She slowly walked to Devika's chamber, the only person who could help her but standing at the threshold of Devika's chamber, she knew the information of her pregnancy was too dangerous to reveal to even Devika. But right now, she needed support.
She asked the guards to inform the crown princess about her arrival, and once she got the approval to enter, she entered and saw Devika sitting on her bed, as alluring and enchanting as ever, caressing her womb. Jealousy surged in Dhriti for she couldn't do the same.
"My salutations to the illustrious crown princess." Dhriti said in a formal tone as Devika looked up and gave her a calming smile. "Respected General, my husband isn't here." Devika said lovingly as Dhriti furrowed her eyebrows, "I am here to talk to you." Dhriti said looking right at Devika, her gaze piercing.
Devika looked up and gestured for her to sit down on the plush bed. Dhriti felt the bed sink under her weight as she looked at Devika straight in the eye, "You know if you want to talk to someone, you don't need to scare them" Devika said lightly as Dhriti looked down embarrassed.
"I- uh- heard about your pregnancy crown princess, congratulations." Dhriti said formally as Devika's face lit up with a bright smile then suddenly that smile vanished. Taken off guard at the sudden dreariness in Devika's behaviour, Dhriti asked, "Crown Princess, what ails you?"
Devika sighed softly and said, "My child would be involved in this war and he would die." Devika said concerned as Dhriti replied, "Your majesty, dying in war for righteousness is greatest glory your child can hope for."
Devika shook her head and waved off the matter and asked Dhriti about her reason for the visit, hesitating Dhriti replied, "Are you ready to be a mother?"
Devika gave a soft smile dripping with a foreign tenderness that set so well on her features, "No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you."
"But what if you aren't ready?" Dhriti asked looking down.
"No one is, you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh," and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It's not a question of choice, it's a feeling." Devika said as she took Dhriti's hand gently.
Dhriti fumbled with her fingers and asked, "What if you couldn't keep your child?"
"A queen could leave her throne. But a mother never leaves her child." Devika replied firmly yet with love.
Dhriti looked at the woman in front of her with admiration, "How do you want to raise your child?"
"I don't want to raise him as something, but as how he would wish to. All I want if for him to know, his father and his mother love him, he'd never be alone, we are always there to hold him." Devika said as Dhriti got all her answers through her unspoken questions.
"Do you think, the crown prince would treat your son right?"
"He may be a bad person, but he loves the child more that me and that is what matters to me."
She got upto leave as Devika's voice resonated in the corridor behind her, "Dhriti, what my husband did was wrong, utterly wrong. Keeping you captive, humiliating your family, disrobing your sister in law, threatening your brother, none of it was right. I am truly sorry from his side and I assure you, no one can wrong you here anymore." Dhriti smiled at her words and left. She hid in the corner as was shocked to see Duryodhana kiss Devika's womb and tenderly hold her face. Devika said something as he snorted briefly, and a tiny flicker of amusement lit his eyes.
He kissed her womb again and handed her a glass of water gently. For all the bad things Duryodhan was, dhriti begrudgingly admitted, he would make a good father. Would sahdev had done the same to her? She realised she would never know, because she couldn't let sahdev know about her being pregnant.
Sitting alone in her room, Dhriti caressed her womb, and then focused on the battle plan she had laid in front of her, she had to leave if her pregnancy had to go unbeknownst to anyone, she couldn't be in Hastinapur, for her child and there was only one reason she could leave, acquire power for Duryodhana.
The next morning, she informed Duryodhana about her plan to go on a Digvijay yatra for him, starting with the south after which she would return to Hastinapur after 9 months. She also said, it could be a double celebration considering the Duryodhana's child's expected birth date. Duryodhana, pleased with the prospect, showered her with jewels and gave her the permission to depart the very next day.
Bedecking herself with weapons, Dhriti looked in the mirror and promised herself, her child would live. She felt guilty for laying plans to acquire power for Duryodhana, she felt she was betraying her brother but now she had only one loyalty left. Her last loyalty lay towards her unborn child, she would do anything to let her child live, her last loyalty, was her sole companion now and she would die for it.
~~~~~
I swear this chapter raised more questions that it answered-
I personally really like this chapter and hope you all enjoyed writing this as much as I enjoyed writing this. What do you think Dhriti will do about her pregnancy? Are devika's fears justified?
The fact Draupadi doesn't trust Yudhishthira and even subconsciously, she would rather die *hands tissues to everyone* is so sad! Do you think, she can ever trust Yudhishthira again?
What is the 'dark and twisted' thing Dhriti wants to find out about in Duryodhana and Devika's relation? And duryodhana loving devika?
I hope you all liked this, any suggestions about the baby's name? For both Dhriti and Devika
Tip- Don't get attached to Dhriti.
What was the best part?
What was the worst part?
Did you like the update? What do you think Dhriti is planning to keep her child alive yet unknown?
If you all are confused about what was happening to Yudhishthira and Bheem when trying to help Draupadi- here is a clear explanation, draupadi had nightlock berries which are deadly and attack your life force. So, to give nakul and sahdev time to operate they needed someone to share their life force with Draupadi. They asked Yudhishthira since he was the only one there but him doing it conciously wasn't enough so sahdev asked him to slip into a state of nothingness. Now, for yudhishthira, that should be a piece of cake but here, when he tried to do so, he was getting lost in the nothingness, the darkness dragging him. Draupadi's soul didn't trust yudhishthira after the dice hall to accept his life force and was trying to push him away by showing scenes that would haunt him, and by pushing him away. Yudhishthira tried to get past it, but failed as the darkness consumed him so he slipped out of him trance, shivering and horrified and realized he couldn't do it.
When Bheem tried, Draupadi's soul trusted him to some extent and therefore when he held her hand, even without having to enter a state of nothingness, he could find the darkness. But the difference was, because of trust, he could see the flame of Draupadi's soul, like a star and was pulled towards it as if it was guiding him and he kindled that flame. He kept on doing so until all doors opened and an ethereal Draupadi swept down in the darkness, showing that she was saved, awake and was back in her soul. That's when nakul shook bheem out of the trance and bheem gazed at her ebony eyes.
All of this wasn't seen by the others, it was a hallucination as a side effect of those berries and conquering that hallucination, lighting that darkness saved her.
Hope it's all clear now!