Still Tara's pov:
I blame myself so fcking much. I realize now what I did, I left him for Wes. I put absolutely all my attention on Wes for literally 2 months. It's been 2 months since I asked Amber to go out, to come to my house, to eat together... She asked me out several times in the first month but I was too busy with Wes. I really hate myself. She has every reason in the world to replace me with Mindy and Liv, I'm not a good friend.
"I'm so sorry Amber... I really didn't realize, I'll never do that again... I-..." I say before she cuts me off.
"You know what Tara, I don't really care right now tbh I just want to go home and rest and we'll talk about it another time. Go to class, join them, join him. I'll see you tomorrow" She says to me
"Amber..." I say, looking at her.
She gets in her car, puts on her sunglasses and drives off, leaving me alone in the school parking.I just want to cry, I can feel the tears welling up in me. I wipe my eyes and go straight to the bathroom without looking back at the others.If it was anyone else I wouldn't care, butit's Amber, and I don't want to lose Amber, she's the most important person to me and I refuse to lose her over something so unimportant, impossible. Arriving in the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror. "What have I become?" I say to myself. I'm no longer the laughing, smiling Tara I used to be, the "sunshine" of the group like Mindy used to call me. But what's changed in the meantime? What made me lose happiness? Amber. Not being glued to her like I used to be, that's the problem. We were used to hugging each other all the time, meeting up at each other's houses to watch movies and TV shows and eat together. For the past two months we haven't seen each other alone, but there was always Wes.
Wes.
I don't feel comfortable with him, I know I'm not in love with him at all, but he's nice and he gives me a lot of attention. It's like the attention I haven't had since my father and Sam, my big sister, left. When I started getting closer to Wes I was the happiest person in the world, because I had Wes and Amber, but now I don't have Amber anymore. I realize what I've lost to have what I have now.
I lost my best friend for a flirt that will never work out because I don't even like him. I might like him if I have, like, 5 drinks, but that's it. I'm such an idiot.
I'm texting Amber
Me to Ambeeer ♥:
Amber I know you and I know you probably won't answer me but I'm truly sorry, I'll do anything to make it up to you I promise. I understand my mistakes and I know I did wrong. Rest well for your headache, see you tomorrow, I love you Amber, I really miss you.
The school bell rings. I put my phone away without necessarily expecting an answer. Knowing her, she probably won't answer today, at least not now. I go to my next class and sit down in a seat by myself so that no one sits next to me, especially not Wes.
Let's skip the class lol
Wes did nothing but stare at me during the whole class, he sent me a little note asking me why I didn't wait for him to sit next to him, I didn't answer. I'm tired of this situation, I just want to rest. Wes is very nice but he's not for me, he's too clingy, too soft, but I feel so sorry for him because I know he really loves me. I leave the classroom after class and walk home. I didn't say goodbye to the others because if I said goodbye to them I would have had to say goodbye to Wes and he would have insisted on driving me home. I just want to walk, get some fresh air and pass Amber's house. I need to check it out and see her.
I put on my headphones and finally take my phone back . I got a notification from Amber. God. I never thought she would answer so fast.
Ambeeer ♥:
No Tara, don't apologize I'm the problem. I don't blame you, I'll see you tomorrow at school, have a good day at least
She didn't respond to my "I love you" when usually she always responds to that even when pissed off. She didn't say she missed me too. i don't know what to do, Should I still go to her place? It's better if I leave her alone, rest, but I won't make it until tomorrow without talking to her. Fuck. I'm in tears again.
Never mind, I'll go home and try to sleep
POV AMBER:
In her message she said she loved me. I know it's friendly and there's nothing more to it but it still made me feel good. Maybe she really does realize what she's done, that she let me down for that shitty Wes ,that she ignored me.... I can't blame her for not loving me, it's not human to act like this, it's not me.
I decide to call her, she picks up like directly
"Amber," she says.
"Tara I'm sorry about today I shouldn't have talked to you like that." I tell her
"No you did the right thing, Amber I got the message, I'm sorry. Tell me you forgive me?" I hear her breathing heavily
"Tara you don't need to be forgiven, and please take your inhaler" I say.
"Can I come over to your place Amber? I'm on my way home" she asks.
"I'm waiting for you".
I'm afraid to face her, afraid I'll react badly again and let my feelings speak for me. I don't blame her in the end, she's right. As much as it pains me to say it, Wes is a good guy, a lousy guy but a good guy. He can take care of her the way I never could, and for that alone I respect him.15 minutes later she knocks on the door.
I go down to open it and she gives me a hug. She squeezes me so hard it takes my breath away.
"Tara" I say
"I'm so sorry" She says crying
"Please stop crying...." I say as I hug back her.
There's no way I'm going to pout at her, I hate seeing her cry, it breaks my heart. I let her in and we go straight to my room.My room's a bit of a serial killer's lair, yes it's creepy lol, there are horror movie posters everywhere, figurines, comics, drawings of me as a kid, and there's just one photo, Tara and me last year.
She sits down on my bed and says.
"Can we please do it the way it was before Amber?" She says to me.
"What do you mean?" I reply,
"I just want to lie with you and watch any movie or series for hours, please" she asks me.
I look her in the eye, I can't say no to her. I take off my socks and lie down in my bed, she joins me and puts her arm on my stomach. I swallow my saliva. Since I realized I was in love with her, I don't really know how to act. Before, we were always like that and I didn't mind, but now I feel like I'm taking advantage of her. I turn on the TV in front of my bed and start Stab 2, my favorite.
"Would you like something to eat or drink Carpenter?" I ask,
"No I don't want to move" She says,
"No, but who am I kidding?" I say, turning my head to look at her.
"I don't want you to move either please".
I've never felt like this in my life, like what am I supposed to do? Act like nothing happened, like 2 months ago and leave her in my arms while we watch? I'm in love with her and she's here, holding me by the waist with her little arm. I feel so good, I feel soothed as if I had no problem at all, I could fall asleep in this position, really. I'm trying to concentrate on the film, to take my mind off the fact that I literally have Tara's hand holding me, when suddenly her phone rings.
Wes
Let's fucking die bro WTF, you can't keep ruining my moments.
She turns her phone around and doesn't answer.
Damn,
"Are you sure you don't want to get that?" I ask her.
"It's not important Amber and I'm fine here" She replies
I give her a smile and refocus on the movie.
I wonder if she realizes that I love her like crazy. Is it blatant or not, did my jealousy go unnoticed like a simple girlfriend crisis? Idk. I'm almost asleep from thinking when Tara nudges me a little.
"Liv asks if we want to have a party at her place tomorrow night since we don't have classes on Wednesday." she says
"Let's go" I reply
She smiles and answers Liv. It'll do me good to get out, think about something else, take my mind off things. Maybe it's just a period, what's going on with Tara, maybe I'm not in love with her after all, maybe it was just really friendly jealousy that made me think that since before Wes I'd never been jealous? I don't know anymore.
2 hours later she goes home "Thanks Amber" she gives me a kiss on the cheek then leaves my house before I even answer.
Tara, Tara, Tara....
I get a message from Mindy
Mindy:
Have you talked to Tara since lunch? She sounded really sad.
I tell her she came to my place and we forgave each other and then I go to bed.
The next day
the day at school went smoothly today. I talked a bit with Tara, which went well. I'm taking a lot on Wes's behavior with me. He's very provocative, as if he's got something to prove. Boy, leave me alone fr i don't give a fuck about you.At the end of class, I go home with Mindy to get ready for Liv's party. Tara leaves with Wes, Liv with Chad.
When I get home, I put on some music in the background, we have a bite to eat, then I put on some make-up and change clothes. I put a white headband in my hair, a little white skirt, a black long-sleeved crop top and then my boots.
"Wow Amber Freeman dressing in color, you feel like getting laid tonight, did you finally shave your dingdingdong?" Mindy laughs,
"You're really disgusting Mindy" I reply, laughing and sticking out my tongue.
"But if it happened I wouldn't say no and yes." i add,
"You're a fucking Lesbian girl i swear" Mindy laughs.
We make a quick stop at Mindy's to get changed, then head off in the direction of Liv's house. I can't wait to see this party and change my mind. I don't think Wes will be there as he's got a fucking 9 p.m. curfew, poor bastard, and that's fine with me.
POV TARA:
Wes came to pick me up to go to Liv's party, honestly I didn't really want to go, I'm just going because Amber's going to be there and maybe that'll sort out all the mess.
Wes and I got there a little early and we're helping Liv and Chad set up.
"Chad, isn't Mindy coming?" I ask.
"She's at Amber's, they're coming together" He replies.
Okay... Amber hasn't even offered me a ride to the party or anything... I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to piss her off even more. But already the other day the kiss on the cheek, more there that... Is there something going on with her? I know Mindy's a total lesbian, but isn't Amber straight? At least that's what I think fr.
1 hour later, there are people arriving, like a lot of people. Wes takes my hand and leads me over to the couch. It feels weird to be at a party at Liv's, usually it's always at Amber's. Amber is the queen of parties, the queen of Woodsboro, literally everyone knows her, especially as she lives in stu macher's creepy house.
"Wow, wow, wow" says Chad, looking at the front door,I look at the door and see Mindy and Amber.
Amber.
I can't breathe, she takes my breath away. She's so beautiful, it's the first time I've found her so attractive like this. I mean she is fucking attractive and fucking sexy but rn i feel it for real. I always find her beautiful, but this is something else, another level. Mindy comes over to say hello and Amber says hello to a few people on the way over.
"Tonight you're going to find a guy!" Wes exclaims, laughing and looking at Amber "You're not all black, tonight's the night."
Amber laughs.
It's the first time she's laughed at Wes's joke, so it looks like she's buried the hatchet, so much the better.
"And you, is it the big night?" Chat says, looking at Wes and me.
"No, absolutely not," I reply.
Wes rolls his eyes and looks at me, laughing.
I'm never going to making out with Wes tonight, we're not even a couple, and I don't even like him this way.
Amber smiles at Chad's comment. She looks so radiant tonight, it makes me so happy to see her like this again.
"It's not that I don't like you guys, but I'm at a party and I'm not going to stay with you losers," says Mindy, standing up and grabbing Amber and Liv's arms.
"Come on, you two, we've got a lot of people to see tonight" she says, looking at us and laughing.
1h later.
The party going pretty well, everyone's having fun, dancing and laughing. I'm with Wes and Chad, we're talking and drinking. I'm on my 3rd drink, and my last, because I can feel myself starting to wince.
"Chad, why didn't you try anything with Amber?" Wes asks him.
I swallow, just imagining it makes me sick.
"Because I'm in love with Liv" he says, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, but you knew Amber long before that" replies Wes.
"Because I think Amber prefers pussy, if you know what I mean" Chad says with a laugh.
"WHAT?" exclaims Wes.
Chad looks at him laughing.
What if he's telling the truth? It's true that Amber has never been in a relationship with a boy, well, any relationship. I look over to the middle of the room and see Amber dancing with that hot Latino guy most of the girls at school want, Marco. They look like they're having fun. No, I don't think Amber likes women, it's inconceivable, she would have told me...
She's with Mindy all the time these days, what if my suspicions are right? What if there's something going on between her? No, I can't imagine that. Amber's completely straight, as evidenced by her dancing with that Marco. Marco is so fucking handsome and sexy but such a jerk, he's a woman's man, I don't want her to be taken in by a guy like that. My Amber deserves so much better. I'd so much like her to take me by the hand and make me dance with her, like before.
I'm a very shy person, and every time we went out, Amber danced with me, stayed with me and introduced me to people. But tonight, I realized that something had changed between us. I've broken something that I'm sure she won't forget.
I want to go back home, im feeling really sick to see her dancing like that with this boy
I'm a little drunk, but Wes hasn't had a drink at all tonight so he can drive us home. Wes pulls me out of my thoughts by putting his hand on my thigh, and I look at him intrigued, it's the first time he's done it this way like it's seems horny wth. I see him move his face closer to me. No way Wes no. He grabs my neck with his hand and kisses me.
"Woooooooooooooouw" shouts Chad, which draws the attention of several people in the room, including Amber.
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thx for reading guys, hope you like it for real bc i really enjoy wrote this story
<3