A/N: Hi everyone! I feel like writing and editing today because I am desperately missing BinJin but am also glad they are spending family time together. To cope, I shall write.
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"Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh!"
She harrumphed her frustration and locked herself in their master suite bathroom. She didn't often give in to complaining because she was a fighter and resilience was one of her strongest traits, one that served her well in her 20 years in acting. She often focused on solutions and how she could get out of a problem or she knew enough just to ride out a bad day.
However, these days there was that added challenge of her hormones suddenly hitting her when she least expects it, especially when she feels overwhelmed with how her life has changed in the past year or so.
She sighed as she bent and splash water on her face.
Looking up at the mirror, she rolled her eyes at her reflection - her hair that was tied into a messy bun was more mess than bun, she had dark circles under her eyes and her shirt had spit on one side and milk in another, along with dog hairs all over her skirt.
As she walked to her closet to select a change of clothes, she sank down and closed her eyes to release some of the tightness she was feeling.
Today was not a good day.
Their baby boy started the day fussy for reasons they could not understand. First, they were worried that he caught a bug and was feeling ill, but he wasn't running a temperature. He was big enough now and would avoid attempts to check him, even if he was carried, so it made the whole process even more difficult.
"It might be gas," was the advise of their ever wise mothers. "You've introduced bottle feeding, right?"
For some reason, that triggered her to pick a fight with her husband, who was in charge of this task. "Did you check the bottle before you fed him?"
"I did," came his even toned response.
"Then, what happened?" She snapped. "Look at him. He keeps crying."
"I don't know. I checked," her husband said, holding the baby gently and stroking his hair.
Somehow, his calm in spite of the fuss was annoying her. At the back of her mind, she knew she was being unfair. Her husband was as new to this parenting thing as much she was and he was following the same advice she had been given. But sometimes babies had needs that you had to learn how to decode. That was no one's fault. It was part of the journey. However, that rational thought did not stop her from being annoyed.
"I'll just follow Eomeoni's advice. We'll be in the room." But as she stomped off with the baby in her arms, her son started crying and reaching for his father. Her little bean had been getting to know his father again after the month apart because of work and she just couldn't bear not to give in. Handing the baby over, she narrowed her eyes at no one in particular, "Fine, I'll bring Kitty to the garden."
Probably sensing her terrible mood, their maltese pup showed her preference by following her husband around as well, thwarting any attempts to be carried. It wasn't really preference for her husband, she knew. It was wanting to be close to their son. The puppy was already acting like a guard dog to her brother and preferred to be close to him.
Frowning, she stomped her feet and let out a frustrated breath. "Fine. I'll take a shower."
Which is how she ended up in the bathroom, huffing and puffing and stomping and ranting.
The hot shower did wonders and as she scrubbed her skin and hair clean, she slowly felt better as well. She also started to feel guilty about her outburst, then sad that she wasn't being a great wife and partner to this man she chose to marry.
Were they in trouble? How did couples have life long marriages?
Her friends had told her before that marrying your boyfriend is easy because it's a lifelong sleepover commitment with your favorite person — of course, you have to work so that you continue liking each other, but that was an easier transition than having a child.
Stepping out of the shower, she decided to fluff her hair a bit and put some color on her cheeks to feel a little beautiful again. But then, quickly scrubbed the blush away because she wasn't sure if the baby would react to it.
She sighed. "Right now, this is as good as it's gonna get," she murmured.
When she returned to the main room, she was surprised at the calm. Her little one was in his bassinet, sleeping, with Kitty watching close by; the table had been set, and her husband was cooking her favorite soup and pasta. Looking up upon hearing her rustling about, he said, "The salad is ready. You can start with it. I hope you don't mind pasta? It's the simplest one I could come up with for now."
Suddenly, tears came unbidden. Running to him and hugging his back, she whispered, "I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier."
She felt him exhale, rub her arms, turned off the stove and then adjusted their position so that he could properly wrap her in his arms. "Do you need a break?"
She gasped and pulled back, looking at him with eyes round as saucers. Was he... was he suggesting they separate?!
"I could book a massage for you with your favorite masseuse? Or a facial? Tell me what you need to relax," he continued, pulling out his phone. "Or a pedicure? You said you didn't like to have a manicure yet because our Little Bean might smell it or it might get into his mouth, right?"
Realizing her overreaction, she fell into his arms again. "You're so good to me," she whispered.
"Because you're good to me," he returned.
"I'm not. I've been neglecting you. I get mad at you when my emotions are running high. Our intimacies —"
He put a finger on her lips to gently stop her ramblings. "You're still dealing with all the changes in your body because of our baby."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I wish it's over. It's not that bad. It's just sometimes... it catches me off guard."
"I'm here," he said simply.
I'm here.
And that's all she needed.
From the time they became friends, then dated and then married, he never failed her. When he was busy, when she was busy, when he was out of the country, when their work took long hours of their day, she was never alone because he continued to fulfill his promise to her all those years ago.
"Thank you, Jagi," she said. "You make me so happy."
Kissing her nose, he smiled before saying, "And I'm about to make you happier because your pasta is done. Now, have a seat. Let me fix you a plate."
Giving him a quick peck on the lips, she checked on their son before taking her place on the dining table. "How did you get him to rest?"
Her husband's dimple appeared. "It's not really me — He farted. You should have seen his face when he did," he chuckled as he recounted their son's amazed look at passing gas. "Then, he was okay. Thankfully, his farts don't smell bad yet. I dread the day when it gets stinky."
She threw her head back and laughed as quietly as she could so as not to rouse their sleeping child. Then, as she settled back in her chair, she looked at the scene playing in front of her — her husband fixing a plate for her, him and then making sure their well behaved pup was fed as well; their little boy sleeping with a smile on his face, happy that his tummy felt better, and then there's her... whose mood had lightened a bit now, like it often does when things are sorted out
"Thank you," she couldn't help but whisper to the love of her life.
"You're welcome," he said, smiling at her. "Jagi, I was wondering..."
She looked up at him curiously.
"I have that event in Japan soon and we haven't been able to take an out of the country trip since our honeymoon so, I was wondering... would you go out on a date with me... in Japan?"
Her heart melted. He was asking with an expression so cute, like when he first asked her out, that her heart started skipping a beat.
Arrangements had to be made for baby sitting with their parents and she knew that even a short trip away would be an adjustment, but she knew she also needed to make the effort for this man who had protected her since they were friends. The man who had loved her and made her feel special and understood her initial hesitation of going public. The man who took all the insults in his character, remained quiet and steadfast, choosing to understand his haters... but spoke up when rumors about a divorce were spreading. The man who could take a lot of punches but would fight back when his wife and child will be hurt in the process.
She sighed.
The man she said yes to when he asked to date, when he proposed to marry and when he asked if she was willing to have children with him.
The man she said yes to then and will always say yes to for as long as they both shall live.
"Yes, my love. I would love to go to Japan with you."