After having graduated from college, I had no idea which path to take. I wanted to be an interior decorator, but I didn't know where to start exactly.
Lately, I've been meeting with a therapist. I compelled her to forgot but it was nice to be able to say what I feel.
I respect Elena and Bonnie but I just didn't want to share my feeling with them. Of course a human couldn't possibly understand but all she did was listen and that's what I needed.
It's been hard without them and Tyler hasn't shown his face in months. He probably didn't even feel guilty for what he did.
I thought about what I had said to myself a few months after Nik killed himself. But did I really want to raise two children on my own? Did I really want that for myself?
Sure, kids are adorable but they are costly. I don't even have a job yet. I'm still going to a therapist, I'm not emotionally prepared to take on such a responsibility.
*****
"You can do it Care, I think you'd be a great mom," Elena encouraged as Bonnie nodded in agreement
"I don't even have a job," I argued
"We'll go with you," Bonnie offered
"This is not apple picking, these are children," I said
"You either want to adopt them or not, there's no in between. What are you so afraid of?"
"Tons of things, they'll age while I stay nice and young. They'll hate me. But really, I don't want to fail them, I want to be this amazing mom that they admire," I said quietly
"There's no possible way to fail them, you are someone who wants to love and care for them," Elena said softly with sincerity
"Honestly, you have your papers and all they need to be is signed. Sign them Caroline, do this for them "
I knew what she meant by 'them' and I knew she was right. I was going to sign those papers and send them in. As much as I wanted Klaus to do this with me, he couldn't. But I have so much support and help from my friends.
You can do this Care.