Merlin had no idea as to how Morgana had managed to exit the house without being noticed. Upon retreating back to "their chamber" to check on her he found it empty. He had asked his mother, who also had no knowledge of Morgana's whereabouts. He had told his mother not to worry and with that he had left her to finish her preparation for dinner as he started to look for the woman who had gone « missing ».
As he set his foot on the house's threshold, he hoped that Morgana hadn't attempted to escape once again.
Fortunately, it did not take him long to spot her though she was seated far distance from his parents house. He sighed in relief and made his way toward her.
From a distance he could only make out her form. Once he got closer to her, he realized that ––she had her eyes close.
Was she asleep? Had she not get enough? It had been hours since he had laid her down on the bed.
He approached her with steady steps making sure not to make loud noises.
"Are you asleep?" he asked gently, in case she was indeed resting he didn't wish to disturb her.
She was not.
She opened her eyes and tilted her head at him. Her eyes met his, and she quickly turned away from him, closing them once more.
"No. I'm thinking." The tone of her voice was hush, low.
It confused him.
He nodded his head at her response, ignoring what he just observed. He shifted his gaze from her form and took a prolonged look at their surroundings. It was the absolutey quiet and silent. A perfect haven to ponder. No wonder Morgana chose to rest here.
His mind puased with that line of thought...what could Morgana be possibly thinking about. Another plot against Camelot?
"About?" He decided to ask her instead of making futile assumption. Why not simply get a straight answer from the source itself. No need to waste time.
She was leaning against a massive tree, big enough for the two of them to rest their backs against it. He started toward it.
Morgana turned her head, frowning. "Pardon?"
He stopped in his tracks.
It seemed that she did not understand what he had said. He rushed to clarify.
"You said that you were thinking. About what?"
"Oh." But she did not reply to his question right away. Instead, she settled her gaze on him, following him until he was seated next to her, yet he put a lot of space between them.
He titled his head, giving her a look that said that he was still waiting for her response.
Her lips curved slightly upward, forming a small yet clear, bitter smile.
"You." Her voice was soft. He arched an eyebrow. Merlin certainly did not see that coming.
"Me?" he asked, confused. Her sad smile only got wider seeing the bewilder expression on his face.
He was waiting for an elaboration; he didn't expect her to confuse him furthermore with what she added next.
"There were signs, Merlin..." she heaved a sigh...it sounded shaky to him. Was she crying or trying to hide it ? "A lot of them, I might add, to be honest. Signs that indicated openly that you were not who you claimed to be."
His frowned deepened, he cleared his throat. "I do not understand what you are speaking of, Morgana?"
She blinked twice and sighed again, this time she seemed more composed, and in control over her emotions.
"Things you said...things you did. Things that a mere servant like you could not have said or done...yet you have, time and time again. I should have paid more attention to them...they told quite a lot about who you really are. My only wrong doing was misreading those signs."
"That I was Emrys?" he promoted.
That was who he really and truly was. He wondered what had brought this up, wondered what Morgana was actually trying to inform him.
"Not necessarily. No" she shook her head. She shifted her gaze to stare at something behind him. He turned his head to see what she was looking at. He could only see trees, different in kind and shape. Normal, no abnormalities. At least nothing that was interesting enough to gain her attention.
Well that was what he thought. Yet again, perhaps she was simply deep in thought. Looking but not actually seeing.
The whole situation was beginning to unnerve him. He was about to ask if she was feeling alright...but she spoke, silencing him.
"Not necessarily..." she repeated this time her eyes were settled on his. "...but perhaps that you had magic."
He was taken aback by that. His eyes widening as he fully grasped the true meaning of her words. If what she was trying to tell him was true then...how come no one suspected him? A part from the accusation that had been made by the witch-finder and Gaius (while being possessed by the goblin), no one had suspected him. Perhaps now that Morgana knew the truth, it had changed her perception of their past. If he were to guess, he'd say that she was just blaming herself for not foreseeing it.
Morgana was wrong, he had been careful. Very careful and he told her so.
He was rewarded with a chuckle. A forced one.
"I have been sitting here..." she paused, taking her time to inhale deeply then exhale, he watched her silently. "...thinking about it, Merlin. And realized one thing."
He did not have to ask what it was, she told him anyway.
"I am stupid and a fool."
His lips parted, he was going to state that she was nothing but. However he ran a hand through his hair." And what are these signs that you speak of...what are they?"
He was prepared to contradict everything that she would say. He had deep faith that Morgana was wrong on many levels.
But she shook her head. "It'll do no good to speak of them. It will change nothing."
He had anticipated such response from her and he wasn't surprised when he heard her words. He could only snort.
"If that was true then, why did you not suspect me earlier?"
"Because I thought that you were my friend..." she snickered with a shake of her head. "Well at least that was what I assumed until you poisoned me and then..." he cut her off.
"I was your friend..." he told her sternly. "I never wished to do it. I was forced."
She snorted. "But it did happen and what is done, is done. No good will come if we dwell on it."
Not wanting to continue down that line of conversation, and recalling that particular incident, because it would only lead to another quarrel and most possibly a fight with Morgana, Merlin murmured a "yes".
It seemed that neither wanted to talk about it or anything else for that matter because they continued to sit in complete and tense silence.
It became too awkward, he decided to leave her be.
He was on his feet when she spoke again. He stopped.
"Why didn't you act sooner? If you knew that I, along with Mordred would form an alliance and try to take over Camelot. How come you didn't do anything to put an end to it? I mean you did poison me but that was almost two years after we had helped Morderd escape."
"Because you were my friend as well." The words left his mouths so quickly .
Her jaw was ajar. She was shocked by his immediate and unexpected response, but she recovered quickly, she focused her attention at what Merlin was saying.
"I refused to believe that you might do something to bring harm upon Camelot and its citizens..."
"Well it appears that both of us have been mistaken." Her face bore an expressionless look, it irritated him.
"It was never in my attention to..." she trailed off and cleared her throat. "...I didn't know what Morgause plan had been. She told me that she would see to rid Camelot of Uther ....Not get rid of both of them."
Morgana had never spoke of what had occurred with her and Morgause. And the truth was that he was ignorant as to how Morgause managed to convince Morgana to become the vessel of the spell. He had his doubts...that Morgana had been oblivious to her sister's true intension.
"I know." He nudged the bit of his noise. Morgana's eyes widened in horror. He wished he could look away, feeling guilt sweep over him. But he was paralysed, unable to move under her intense stare.
"Then why did you..." he knew what she was going to say. However the words never left her mouth.
The reason to him was unknown. He never bothered to ask himself.
He shrugged. "I ..." he swallowed hard. "I knew that Morgause was your sister and I was certain that she would not let any harm befall you. I used that knowledge to my advantage."
"What are you trying to say, truly?" she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Put an end to the spell and I inform her of the poison I used on you. Or else..." he didn't finish, the meaning was clear.
"A bargain." She stated, her glare remained intact.
He nodded his head. Morgana clenched her jaw. It was, apparently the wrong thing to say.
"So it was never your goal to kill me?" she challenged him.
Silence.
He managed to hold her gaze for brief period.
His voice was hoarse as he spoke
"No." A lie.
They both knew it. Morgana did not say anything.
"You should have told me that it was within my power to stop what was happening to Camelot."
He frowned. "It would not have made much difference..."
"I would have drunk the poison myself." She countered.
Merlin didn't know how he should be feeling following her statement. His blood ran cold as he closed his eyes.
He had no doubt that Morgana would have willingly drunk the poison to save the lives of her loved one. He knew how she had been like prior to her disappearance, before Morgause had interfered and crawled under Morgana's skin.
To listen to Morgana say that she would have sacrificed herself made his heart ache and his throat tighten.
"I ...Morgana..." he sighed in frustration. Why was she doing this to him? Why was she bringing this up now? Today? Opening closed wounds. Scars.
Why today of all days ? He was supposed to enjoy the fact that his father was alive !
The conversation so far was slowly, yet continuously, killing his happy mood.
He didn't wish to bring up the past.
He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think I would have let you do so."
She snorted, arching an eyebrow. "Why is that Merlin? After all it was supposed to be a ploy."
"Morgana." He tried to cut her off.
"Like you said, Morgause wouldn't have let me get hurt...I didn't..."
"I don't wish to speak of this any longer." He stood up quickly; she took a hold of his arm.
"I am still talking to you."
"Well, I am done." He began to walk away.
She struggled to get to her feet. "You are a fool, Merlin. A hypocrite and a liar !" She called out.
He stopped abruptly. He slowly turned around to face her. His eyes were cold and filled with anger.
"Believe me, I know."
She moved closer. "You regret it, don't you? Saving Mordred's life."
He absently nodded, she saw that and smirked. "You probably regret saving mine as well."
He shook his head frantically. "You secretly wish that you have left me to die...Arthur wouldn't have died..."
"No..." he murmured and continued to shake his head.
"I have my own regrets too Merlin. Would you like to hear them?" She hissed. "I regret asking Arthur to save your life when you were poisoned, you remember that, don't you? I regret offering my help when your village was in danger."
Merlin's eyes widened. "Did you really think that Arthur would have...?"
"He was great man; he would have done the right thing."
"Do you honestly believe the nonsense that you are saying?"
He titled his head. "Not nonsense. It is the truth."
Morgana threw her head back, releasing a throaty laugh. "My goodness, Merlin. You are a fool." She took deep breaths. "If it was not for me you would have been dead, your precious village would have become ruins and perhaps," she smirked. "A father would not have been the only parent you could have lost."
His voice was raw. The pressure of her words was settling in his chest making it harder for him to breathe with every word she uttered. He closed his eyes, fighting off his own terrified thoughts generated by her snide statements. He took his time to speak again.
Despite everything, he knew that Arthur would have helped no matter what. He had trained the men of his village to fight, if that wasn't an indication of a true king, then he didn't know what was.
"Yes. You might be right. If it were not for you, things might have taken a different course. However, Arthur did save my life and he did save my village, even if it was because of you." He decided to humour her.
"What does that tell you? He didn't care about Ealdore, or the children in it. He cared solely about my safety. He was merely worried about me. Arthur wouldn't have thought twice about the innocents, not even you."
"What do you want from me, Morgana? A thank you?!" He snapped at her, Morgana took a step backwards.
He was angry, something that she was unfamiliar with. He was scaring her. He could see the fear in her eyes and it didn't matter that she was trying her best to hide it. It was quite enjoyable for him. He liked the sight of her squirming to retort and say something back.
And after their little chat just now, his blood was boiling.
"Thank you!" He screamed. As his face was filling up with rage. "Thank you for ruining everything I have ever worked for !"
She winced and blinked twice her mouth opening and closing. Then Morgana surprised him when her lips curved upward, a wide smirk was placed on her face. She was challenging him. Testing his nerves. He was losing.
"You are welcome, Merlin. But it is rather long overdue. Perhaps next time?"
Merlin scowled "Next time?" He whispered, confused. His shoulders slumped.
He looked tired, he felt tired. This conversation was consuming him.
"What do you want Morgana? Why are you doing this?" His voice shook. He sounded pathetic. He was almost begging her, pleading her to end this mind torture.
"To see the truth. I knew Arthur longer than you have, Merlin. He is not the king that you think he is."
He scoffed "of course he isn't. He does not kill innocents like you."
She gave him a toothy grin. "Do I need to remind you of the shines? I'm certain you have heard of them."
That was different. Merlin knew the truth and he quickly began to defend his friend. "What happened was a mistake. The knights disobeyed Arthur. They were the ones that killed the children."
"And you trust such king? Whose followers have no respect toward his orders?" she snorted. "What a king indeed."
"It was not his fault. He would have never have done something like that."
"Do you remember when I went to the druids...?" she smiled. "Silly question. Of course you do."
He nodded his head affirmatively, nevertheless. She continued to speak, uninterrupted.
"They were children, women. Innocent families that he killed with a cold blood."
He scoffed. "Under Uther's orders."
"At the end, what really matters that he did kill them."
Merlin pressed his lips together.
She had done it once again...she had been getting on his nerves. Perhaps it was due to this conversation that he reached the breaking point, or the fact that she had been there. In the castle, fairly close to Arthur and everyone Merlin ever cared for.
It angered him immensely that she had been walking down the corridors, the hallways of Camelot as if nothing had ever happened, while he worried constantly that she might attempt something.
In the end, even someone as patient as him, would let the rage take over, unintentionally.
He let his anger cloud his judgement, let it blind him, prevent him from seeing reason. To understand that even though the woman standing before him, smirking smugly looked like Morgana, talked like Morgana, she definitely was not as strong as the Morgana he'd known.
At least not physically.
It was quite unfortunate that such realisation of such an important detail was established in his mind rather late.
Only when his hand was outstretched and Morgana flew backward, and all signs of mirth vanishing from her features, did he finally register the grave mistake he had made.
She landed on her right side. Due to the impact she rolled over and her back was slammed against a tree.
He froze. Then recovered and ran to her.
By the time he reached her, she was hunched over, leaning most of her weight against the tree to maintain her balance.
"I'm sorry...I really..." he said as he ran and hovered over her, hesitant as to what he should do. He was not certain if he could touch her. Fearing that he might hurt her or the child additionally if he were to lay in hand on her.
He had been angry; he never wished to harm her. "I didn't mean..." The words were cut off by a yelp that emitted from his lips.
Morgana had taken advantage of his distracted state of mind and she rounded on him, quickly. She shoved him against the same tree she'd been leaning on. He winced as his back hit the tree trunk. Before he knew it, a dagger was firmly pressed against his throat and there was only one thing he could think of.
« Where the bloody hell had she been keeping it? »
No time to think of an answer. His eyes focused solemnly on her.
It was almost like the old times. When she'd try to kill him...well kill Emrys and he'd try to find ways to stop her.
He wondered if it would be the same thing now. His mind drifted to their last fight, last encounter. The final battle. He'd killed her. It had hit him suddenly the awareness that the only way to put an end to her schemes was to kill her. It had been simple. It had been too late.
He did not grieve. He did not lament her death. Arthur had been dying. Important things needed to be taken care of, other than the fact that he just took a life of an old friend.
The ugly truth was that he didn't care....well he did, but slightly. After all she once had been a friend of his. However she had ruined everything for him. She deserved that fate, she had it coming.
And at that moment, he wondered, briefly, if he could do it again.
Just kill her. It would not be that hard.
The fact that she had a knife to his throat didn't frighten him. He had been through worst.
All it might take was a flick of his hand, he could break her neck. Morgana would be no more.
He could find a way to explain what happened to his parents and to the rest. He would even mourn her, shed few tears. Then he would be free of her. Of her threats. Only then would he be able enjoy this life, everything around him. Everything he'd ever wanted. He would have all. He could even have...Freya.
The idea was too appealing for him to be disregarded.
"Why are you smiling?" he shook his head. Morgana was glaring at him, she had said something. He was smiling...oh! He thought that he was grinning widely. The idea becoming clearer. He could see it, almost touch it, the life he could have. With Arthur as a king and Freya by his side. It was a dream on its way to become a reality.
But his hopefulness was short lived when he felt en extra pressure, other than the one from the knife. He glanced down. He pouted.
Her swollen belly was touching his. He became aware that despite his willingness to end Morgana's life; he could not do the same to the child growing inside of her. Even though it was his, what was more important was that it was an innocent life.
So he would not kill her. He erased the idea from his mind. But as he did, another took its place.
But if he didn't kill Morgana, then what would she do to him?
Kill him certainly, might do the same to his parents and to others until she took what she so foolishly thought was hers.
Now he was in a dilemma.
Sacrifice the life of an unborn child and save the lives of hundreds or he do nothing and as a result, repeat the mistake of the past. The mistake of ignoring kilgharrah's warnings and seeing the best in the high priestess.
What should he do? What should he do?
It was a hard decision. He furrowed his brow, thinking.
Perhaps he could ask Morgana.
When he refocused his attention back at her, he noticed that all blood had been drained from her face.
Had she heard what he'd been contemplating?
Impossible ! She couldn't read his mind, could she?
She was used to this, being thrown by Emrys, which happened almost every time they crossed paths.
At first, she assumed that this time would be no difference. She had recovered quickly and Merlin's worry about the child had been well exploited. But it was sudden pain that took her by surprise.
For a moment, it was as if all the air had escaped from her. Her body failed her. Her lungs struggling to catch the much needed breath she wished for. Every muscle within her was throbbing, twisting and aching as if someone was attempting to contort them into some unnatural position. She, however, kept her eyes fixed on Merlin's face, forcing herself to uphold a straight face despite the pain. She gritted her teeth together, preventing herself from crying out. Her grip on the dagger only tightened...she saw it in his eyes, the confusion, and the bewilderment. She added more pressure, but not enough to cut through the skin. Her hand began to tremble. Seconds passed, but with time the pain-its power merely intensified.
She found herself unable to think, to focus on anything else but the agony that now festered in her very being in an uncontrollable state.
The dagger landed by her feet, her anger toward Merlin forgotten and the hand that was previously holding the knife was now pressed against her stomach. She felt weak, too weak to stay on her feet. Too weak to feign strength. She doubled over before she was crouching on the ground as the pain shot in waves throughout her lower abdomen.
She suddenely felt pressure of someone warping their hands around her, gripping her arms and hoisting her, softly and gently in a sitting position.
Morgana reached a quivering hand, trying to push Merlin away. She smacked his chest, but he remained sitting by her. Her flat hand turned into clutch, grasping his shirt desperately.
Something happened. Something she had said in a gasp. And then, as quickly and unexpected as it came, the agonizing pain faded away without a trace. With its departure, air found her once again; her tense state relaxing as her lungs filled with the vital air that she could not find previously.
"Morgana!"
The voice pulled her from the fog that clouded her eyes. Its cry hoarse, strained. When she lifted her head in the direction of the sound, she saw Merlin. He looked to her, blue eyes wild with a guilt that no words could describe.
As if meeting his eyes was a wakeup call.
"Are you alright? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. I..." she pulled her hand away. "Don't touch me... !" She shoved him again.
"I won't" he shook his head.
Nausea rose in the pit of her stomach; her knees trembling unsteadily as she tried to hold herself together. Standing up, she found herself blinking several times, feeling lightheaded and in dire need of water. When she lifted her gaze, she said, breathlessly. "Do not lay your hand on me again, Merlin !"
He repeated instantly. "I promise, I won't."
She left him, frozen in his place. One thought consuming him....
..TCCOMM.:.
When he walked inside the house, Merlin took a deep breath. He heard voices coming from the dining area, he followed them. Morgana was fine.
For a moment he paused to admire her...her, ability to pretend.
As he stood there, he remembered once again that she had managed to fool both Arthur and Uther for so long. He had no doubt that she'd find his parents, rather, easier to play with. With her words, and her smile, Balinor and Hunith certainly did not stand a chance.
They were sitting around the table, clearly waiting for his arrival. Morgana had a big smile gracing her features, talking to his father.
He cleared his throat. Making his presence known, the smile fluttered instantly as her eyes landed on him.
She clenched her jaw as she glared at him. His mother called out his name, ushering him to join them. He averted his eyes back to Morgana and smiled back. But it didn't reach her eyes.
He sat across from her; Are you alright? He mouthed and she answered with an expected reply. She looked away, she ignored him.
The dinner started and small talk was made. She refused to make eye contact with him. He understood that. Perhaps, he was mistaken, he realized, that perhaps she wasn't as good at acting as she used to be. Her mood seemed to have shifted upon his arrival, as she abandoned her chitchat with Balinor and was currently staring at her food.
Merlin took it upon himself to keep his parents from noticing the change of her frame of mind.
But as Balinor mentioned the name kilgharrah, her head shut up.
He held his breath at his father's words.
"He's been acting rather strangely as of late. I have no idea what has gotten into him..."
Morgana abandoned her fork "When did that started?"
"Almost two weeks now." He answered. "It started so suddenly. He's been saying something about the balance of the world being altered. The destiny being distorted by dark magic."
"Both dragons or simply kilgharrah?" Merlin asked, anxiously. He leaned forward.
His father scowled. "Both dragons? Son, kilgharrah is the last of his kin."
The color drained from Morgana's face. "What do you mean by the last? There is Aithusa. She..."
When Balinor scowl deepened, she snapped her mouth shut.
"If you'll excuse me." She wiped her mouth and made an attempt to stand up. "I need a bit of fresh air."
"But you haven't finished your dinner." Hunith frowned.
All eyes were on her, she didn't pray them any attention. She clenched hard the napkin. Her knuckles turned white then took a deep breath.
"I need fresh air..."she repeated, a bit breathless.
She ignored them, turned around. She all but flung out of the house.
She didn't know where she was going. Her legs steering her as far away as possible from the house before she could no longer walk. She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Aithusa!" She gasped; the word came out in a whisper.
Her mind was blank and she could only think about what Balinor had said and the true implication of his spoken words.
She wasn't a dragon lady and she didn't possess the gift, even if she was carrying a dragon lord in her womb. But that didn't stop her from trying.
"Aithusa !" She cried out again. This time louder. Stronger.
"Morgana." She abruptly turned around and came face to face with Merlin.
Morgana didn't know what came over her all of the sudden.
She launched herself at him.
It took him by surprise and he almost fell backward.
"You..." she advanced on him. "Summon her...at once !" It sounded like a plea to him.
He refused to believe that.
Merlin knew who she meant by 'her'...he stood still though; he didn't even flinch when she stopped, perhaps with a mere foot or two separating them.
To be honest, he knew she was hurting. Her eyes were puffy, her lips trembling. She was gasping. She was withholding her tears. He could see it, he could tell that the news-the possibility that Aithusa may not exist in this world seemed to have a drastic effect on Morgana.
"I can't." He said, his voice steady, sharp. Somehow he didn't bring himself to care either.
Morgana had used the white dragon in her schemes against Camelot. She used her to create the sword that had eventually led to Arthur's unhealable wound. To his death.
"I cannot." He told her again, he rubbed his temple.
She jabbed him in the chest. "Try, Merlin." She yelled. "Try dammit."
His eyes glared at her. "I can't. Even if I could, I won't."
"What?" Her heart skipped a beat.
Merlin sighed. "I'm not a dragon lord."
She rolled her eyes. "Then tell your father to summon her, surely he can..."
He shook his head. "Aithusa will not respond..."
She rubbed her face "what does that mean...I..."
Merlin inhaled deeply, glanced upward then slowly looked back at her, exhaling. "I fear that you might try to harm Arthur or Gwen and even..."
She scowled; she crossed her arms over her chest, in a defensive way. "How is that related to Aithusa?"
"It has everything to do with her !" He answered, harshly.
Morgana scoffed, realizing that he was simply wasting her time. "Balinor might be more of help than you..." she said as she started toward the house but Merlin grabbed her forearm, stopping her and forcing her to stand in front of him.
She began to protest.
"I can't let that happen..."
She struggled to free herself only to feel his grip tighten. "I told you to never touch me again !"
He eyed her closely "I will not let you hurt anyone...not again." He brushed off her threat with a shrug.
"There is nothing you could do to stop me." She menaced with tone laced with venom.
"Killing you will." He freed her.
At first she laughed at him, it was only when she realized that he was serious with his statement that her laughter died. She distanced herself from him by taking a step back.
"You wouldn't do that. You'll regret deeply..." She swallowed thickly, shocked.
"Why?" he asked and smirked when she looked at her abdomen and up back at him. "because you are with a child?"
"Is it not an enough reason?"
"It's not...because I don't care"
Her eyes widened. "You would kill an innocent child?"
He bit on his bottom lip before he replied. "The fact that it is yours Morgana makes it easier for me to hate...I mean to have you as its mother. I can't help but think that when it grows up, raised by you, with your hatred and your madness surrounding it, that it'll be just another danger against the people I care about."
"Even if it is your own flesh and blood?"
"It is no child of mine" she stared at him, horrified.
"How dare you accuse me of unfaithfulness!" she slapped him.
"I did no such thing" When he realized his slip, he explained, rubbing his cheek. "I merely meant that I would never have a child with someone like you."
"Of course you wouldn't. I'm the lady Morgana and you are nothing but a servant!"
If Morgana was trying to insult him with what she said, then she was mistaken. He served Arthur- the once of future king. If anything Merlin was proud of his humble, low title.
It wasn't an insult, it was a compliment.
He didn't say anything, which to Morgana was a sign of vulnerability.
"You will never do anything to harm me." Her hand went to rest on her stomach.
"I've done it before; you honestly think I won't do it again?" He countered.
"No. I know so."
He smiled. "Then you are indeed a fool."
Morgana snickered, shaking her head at him. "There is nothing you can do to stop from taking what is mine."
"Enough with this nonsense, Morgana. Camelot is not yours to take. The throne doesn't belong to you."
"Yes it does." She snapped, angrily "Trust me Merlin, I'll have it by any means possible and I will rip Arthur's heart out before you to just see how serious I am."
Another intimidation. Another sigh. "I can't let you do that.."
Morgana fought the urge to roll her eyes, huffing. "You keep uttering those words, Merlin. If you are true to your word then stop me...kill me...prove it."
And he did. Almost instantly.
Unlike what had happened earlier, Merlin, this time, was in complete control of his emotions and senses. He knew preciously what he was doing and to whom.
Merlin made a fist and her throat closed up.
Before him, Morgana fell to her knees, gasping for air.
Morgana lifted her hand to defend herself but he clenched his hand harder. She felt as if her throat was being crushed. Her hand shut up to her neck, absently.
"You...You're...hurt...hurting me."
"Good." He stated and crouched next to her, observing her with indifference as she struggled to breathe.
"If you wish to see Aithusa again, you'll do as I say. You will not attempt anything against Arthur, his family or Camelot. Do you understand?"
Morgana nodded.
He wasn't satisfied. He pressed. "Say it."
"I do..."
He ended the spell and Morgana started to massage her aching neck.
He straightened his shoulders and stood up, looking down at her. "We'll head back inside the house. Act as normal as you can. Tomorrow, you will tell my father that you had a vision about Aithusa and I'll inform you of what you need to say to him after they retire for the night."
"you sound like Emrys..."
He sighed. "I am Emrys."
He left her on the ground.
It had been only when he had been left with his thoughts, had he finally realized that Morgana had been right in her assumption. He really couldn't hurt her while she was with child. But after what he'd done prior to dinner, he understood that Morgana feared him on many levels. That she seemed to be forgetting that he was Emrys, even if he wasn't using the aging spell.
Deep down Merlin and Emrys were the same. All she needed was a reminder and that's exactly what he had given her.
Walking toward the house, he clenched his hand tightly, hoping that it would stop trembling by the time he reached his parents.
"Don't you need the triskelion?" Morgana asked from her seat, hands folded in her lap as Merlin finished telling her about his adventure to free Aithusa.
Taking a quick inhale of breath, Merlin rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "Maybe...it's required in order to enter the locked chamber." He explained.
"I thought it was a trap..." Morgana reminded him.
"It's both." Merlin replied absently. He seemed distracted as if he was contemplating something important.
Annoyed that he was clearly ignoring her, Morgana pressed her lips together before she spoke again. "Well if the trap is obviously trigged by the triskelion, you can always blow up the entrance."
Hearing what she said, Merlin's head shut up. "It's a possibility, but it might not be a safe move as well. I simply cannot take such risk."
Morgana rolled her eyes, standing up. "Then what must be done?"
He followed her with his eyes. "I must see if the third part still lies in the vaults of Camelot. I need to make sure that Borden had not..."
"More time will be wasted in vain as result." She placed her hands on her hips as she looked down at him. "You don't have the triskelion, however you know how to find the egg. The only problem you are facing is the way to get inside the chamber and I already offered you a perfect solution." She spoke very fast, agitated. "You get inside, blow up an entrance anywhere as long as it is far from the trap just to be safe, get the egg and leave before you get smashed by the falling boulders." She inhaled deeply once she finished.
Merlin watched her, amazed. Then he shook his head. "It's not that easy..."
She inched closer. "Trust me, it is."
Merlin smiled and his eyebrows quirking upward. "Trust you?" his tone was laced with mockery.
She fought the urge to roll her eyes once again. "Considering that you were the one how betrayed my trust first by not admitting that you have magic, I assume it's safe to say that it is I who shouldn't trust you."
His lips parted but Morgana spoke again. "Can we delay this conversation? Postpone it for another time. You already tried to kill me twice today; I don't think I can't take yet another attack."
"Are you confessing your weakness?" His mouth closed upon hearing her words and he grinned.
"I was never a match to your powers, Emrys." She answered quickly.
A tremor ran down his spine upon hearing the name the druids had given him. He didn't let it affected him for long.
"Yes, you were." He paused, shaking his head. "You simply couldn't kill me before I managed to stop you."
Her face fell, instantly. "Ah..." she breathed out. "Yeah..." she nodded her head slowly. "I couldn't kill you..." she whispered but Merlin heard her clearly. She looked down.
Somehow her feet becoming rather interesting for her, she started at them.
Merlin frowned and stood up. Hearing him get to his fee, Morgana stepped backward "I couldn't...kill you" she breathed, peering up, her eyes on Merlin, she couldn't meet his gaze for long; she looked away, swallowing thickly.
"What should I tell your father...about the vision? What should I say?" She made her way back to her armchair. It was obvious that she was trying to alter the subject, he didn't mind.
They continued to speak about their plan for tomorrow until light of the candles almost faded away threatening to drown them in the dimness of the night.
"Is really it necessary to wait until the morning comes?"
"Why?"
Morgana shrugged her shoulders. "Well, it's a vision about a lost dragon egg, wouldn't be questionable if I were to wait until the morning to inform your father?" she reasoned, and Merlin narrowed his eyes, considering her words.
"No. we wait, there is no need to wake my father at this hour..."
Morgana grunted, fidgeting with her fingers. "Fine."
From his place, Merlin titled his head. "For something you had no problem torturing Morgana, you seem quite eager to free Aithusa."
"Torture Aithusa?" she scowled "What are you speaking of Merlin?"
He snickered, shaking his head. "There is no point denying it. I've seen what you have done to her."
Morgana huffed a bit, laced with indignation. "Are you serious? You honestly think that I might do such thing to her?"
"You held her captive, she was bloodied, wounded. What else should I assume?" he countered
She looked offended "You mean..." she trailed off, suddenly.
"Oh" she breathed out then she laughed a harsh, painful and mirthless sound. "I supposed the news of the capture of high priestess is far more important than imprisonment of a dragon."
Sitting forward, he frowned. "Captive? When? I..." he stammered unable to form a proper sentence.
"While you wasted your time running around, finishing your errands and cleaning stables for Arthur, too busy being his loyal servant, she was suffering and unlike you I was there for her.
I tried my best to heal her and ease her pain...for two years..." she bit out, feeling strength flowing back into her body and bonding with cold, sad n anger she had been holding onto throughout the night. "In the bottom of a pit . . . chained both of us. Unlike you Merlin, when someone saves my life, I return the favour by being there for them not by poising them."
Merlin flinched, as though physically struck, but stood his ground. He sinks into the bed, and watched as Morgana got to her feet.
"I didn't know" he managed and he heard her snort.
"Of course you didn't. You must have been happy knowing that the Sarum was able to apprehensive me, you didn't bother with anything else."
"I didn't know..." he breathed out again. He didn't really know. Not of her capture or of Aithusa's.
She was gone by the time he realized something.
A half a sob escaped him, and he really didn't know what to do.
If two years had done havoc on Aithusa, what could have the Sarum done to Morgana?
Morgana had chosen to remain in the comfort of her chambers and the quiet it offered. Standing by the opened window, she was yet to shift her gaze away the blue sky. Her eyes were still staring at the horizon.
Merlin and Balinor had not been gone for long now. She doubted that they would be returning anytime soon. She sighed forlornly.
The sun was slowly making its way toward the centre of the sky. Morgana closed her eyes soaking in the warmth of the sunrays filtering through the window.
The fear of Aithusa being forever lost was building up inside of her. It made it harder for her to breath. Her stomach was churning, something that the child growing inside had no responsibility for.
"Morgana." A voice came suddenly from behind, starling her. Her eyes flickered open and she span around. She must have been deep in thought t that she had missed the sound of the door opening.
Hunith stood before her not far away. She was giving her a sympathetic look. Morgana wondered why.
"Breakfast is ready...would you like to join me at the dining room or should I fetch it here for you?"
Eating was the last thing on her mind. With anxiety filling her and making her a bit dizzy, she was not feeling up to do anything; she didn't think she'd be able to keep food in her belly.
Morgana shook her head. "Thank you, Hunith." She gently declined the offer. "But I'm not hungry."
The older woman, though she looked unconvinced, nodded her head. For a brief moment, Morgana assumed that after what she had said, she would be left alone with her fears and worries. No such thing happened as the older woman walked to her and stood by her side, her hands on the window's frame. She glimpsed outside then she turned fully to face Morgana.
"I remember when I was like you. This far while carrying Merlin. I was hungry all the time..."
Morgana frowned. "Perhaps, it's different with me."
Hunith just smiled. "Perhaps it is."
Once again Hunith lingered beside Morgana and the latter didn't understood how she should be acting around her.
"You needn't to worry Morgana." The statement made the woman in question pause and stare at Hunith.
How could she have known that she was worried? Did she appear so the older woman?
"I am not." The high priestess protested.
Hunith lifted her eyebrows. "Then why are you sulking..."
Morgana's jaw dropped. "I am merely taking pleasure in watching the view outside."
Hunith snorted as her eyes scanned 'the view' that Morgana had claimed to take interest in. "I am certain you have seen better."
Morgana affirmatively nodded her head. "I have..." She hesitated before adding. "This place is much calmer...helps me think."
Bewildered by that, Hunith scowled. She reached out her hands and clasped them in Morgana's. "Tell me what is on your mind, dear?" Morgana flinched at the contact.
Hunith, of course noticed that and the playfulness Merlin's mother's tone had held ever since she had entered the room, fluttered. Confusion watched over her features.
"Nothing of great importance..." Morgana squeezed Hunith's hands.
An assuring gesture. With a smile her face. And Hunith's puzzlement eased as her expression softened. Yet she remained reluctant, eyeing Morgana cautiously. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" she pressed on, good-heartedly.
This time, Morgana pulled away, her hands fell by her sides. She sighed, avoiding locking gaze with her.
The lack of answer on Morgana's behalf made Hunith's eyes narrow.
"You do not look well, Morgana. What is the matter?"
"Just exhausted..."
Hunith, alarmed, grabbed Morgana's hand once again. However, this time she let her toward the direction of the bed. "Then you mustn't be on your feet. Come." She scolded her. "Sit" with her hands placed, now on her the high priestess shoulders; Hunith eased the expecting mother down onto the mattress.
"Hunith..." Morgana growled and with her right hand she rubbed her eyes. The other woman misinterpreted the action as a sign of lack of sleep.
"You did not sleep well" she started to rearrange the pillows. A hand grabbed her. Roles reversed. Hunith peered up, halted. Putting an end to her frantic actions.
"I slept well..." Morgana said. Under the stern look she was receiving from Hunith, she added nervously. "...Well enough."
"But you just said that you were exhausted." Hunith countered.
Absently, Morgana's eyes darted to her own midsection, her hand resting on it. Hunith followed her gaze.
Morgana felt the bed dip down slightly. She looked up, Hunith was supressing a smirk. Her eyes were gentle as she looked back at her with something that she couldn't quite distinguish.
"Keeping you restless, huh?" Hunith said, before she placed her hand on top of Morgana, the one resting against her belly. "...like its father." The older woman chuckled.
A tremor ran down her spine at the mention of the child's paternity. Morgana gulped and looked away.
She cleared her throat. "I am certain that all unborn children take pleasure in their mother's discomfort. I hardly think that Merlin's spawn would make any difference."
Hunith patted Morgana's hand before she withdrew it. Yet her eyes remained glued at the swollen stomach "Though, I doubt that they would light up every single candle in the room, either."
Morgana stilled. What on earth was Hunith speaking of?
Her puzzlement went unnoticed as the other women continued to mumble to her. "It must have been quite dark for him inside. Why else would Merlin do such thing?"
Had she not been too shocked by what she'd heard, Morgana would have found it quite amusing to see Hunith talk to herself.
"Uhm! Yes" Morgana stammered, nodding her head. Then she started to shake her head, realization hitting her. "I am sorry..." She must have heard wrong, because it sounded like Hunith had said... "Merlin's magic magnified since he'd been in your womb."
She got a nod as response.
"Before he was born?" just to be more certain and accurate. Her heart skipped a bit as Hunith hummed a 'yes'.
"You were unaware of that?" the woman inquired with scowl.
Morgana blurred out "No...I mean yes." Hunith gave her a side away look.
She must have sounded mad to the other lady's ears.
Morgana decided to be honest. "I knew he was born with magic." She shrugged. "But from womb?" she growled, her voice rose an octave.
Hunith stared at her. An undefined emotion washing over her features but it quickly faded away before Morgana knew what it was. Suspicion? Apprehension?
Hunith seemed to be deep in thought.
Fearing that she might have committed a mistake by confessing something that the other Morgana might have knowledge of, Morgana swallowed hard.
How would she amend this?
"Is it strange?" she found herself asking, she might try another approach.
"Strange?" Hunith wondered.
"That he didn't mention this fact about his life to me?" For now, she would feign ignorance. She'd tell Merlin about this conversation, in case his mother confronted him about it.
But the latter's face fell, she looked sad. "That he forgot to tell his wife?" she nodded "A bit... yes. But it is understandable." She sighed.
The sorceress furrowed her brow. "I don't get it..."
Hunith inhaled deeply, she gnawed on her bottom lip. "How did you feel when you first leaned about your magic?"
Morgana's mind quickly played that particular moment before her eyes. Old feelings, she buried deep resurfaced.
Her eyes tears up. "Scared..." she trailed off, "and alone." She blamed Merlin for that.
"But those feelings didn't last long, yes?" Hunith, Morgana assumed, was referring to her son.
"That's correct." Morgause had helped her get rid of them. Satisfied with that answer, Hunith continued, her tone low.
"How do you reckon a child who was yet to learn how to speak and talk, would have felt if confronted in such situation?"
Her lips parted...no words came out. No response to offer the woman and Morgana realized that she couldn't find the right words to say.
She scowled. "I don't...don't know." She managed to say.
Because that was the reality. That was the truth...
"It must have been hard to raise him?"
Hunith let a soft laugh. It was bitter. "Yes. It was...I think you can say... But we managed. He did."
She added the last bit in a whisper that almost did not reach Morgana.
"Sometimes...I fear that I might not have done right by him." Hunith confessed her eyes downcast.
"That is absurd, Hunith. You're..." she didn't finish. Hunith peered up. Her eyes filled with unshed tears.
"I never gave him what Gaius offered him. Or what he'd offered you and what I know that you and Merlin will give your child."
"What is that?"
"Comfort. The knowledge that he was not alone. That things will get better." Her voice quivered as she spoke.
Those were things she had sought after discovering her magic. Things Morgana had craved.
Something inside of her broke. Her mind going through the periods of time through her life before finding Morgause and after losing her sister, she drew in a careful breath that hurt.
If there were anyone that could relate to his situation, it had been Morgana, then why did he not ease her mind? Why did he choose silence over the truth? Why..?
She cried....feelings that had been building up could no longer be contained...and arms enveloped her, holding her closer.
In spite of herself, she asked. "What if he never told me? If I never knew the truth? What if I ...." she sobbed and the embrace tightened. "What if things happened differently?"
What if he was fated to kill me? Morgana restrained herself from saying that. She buried her head deep in the crook of Hunith's neck.
The hug broke; Morgana pulled her up and looked away. But Hunith cupped her face. Morgana glanced at her face. She was crying as well. Her eyes were not sad, but determined.
"Now listen to me...it does not matter how you got here. I know my son and I know you. You are meant for each other. Alright?"
Morgana did not know if she should laugh or cry after hearing that. Tears continued to fall freely. She sniffed. "Alright."
"I made you cry." Hunith wiped away the tears that strained Morgana's face.
"And I you."
It had been a while since she was able to speak this freely, to show emotion. To display weakness without fear. As she sat next to Hunith, she felt since a long time, free, light, unbothered by the heavy weight placed upon her delicate shoulders; her sister's last will.
The original plan had been to free Camelot of Uther's unfairness, to bring magic back. It had somehow become a contest for power, for the throne. She had entered a war with no winner.
No victory. Just lost.
Hunith jumped to her feet, so quickly, it took Morgana by surprise. "I know just the thing to light up our mood?" she took a deep breath. "Food." Her eyes brightened up. Morgana laughed and got up.
"Now come. You'll thank me later."
Well, to be honest, she was hungry. Morgana thought as she followed Hunith.
They were standing next to each other, watching as the castle fell into wreck, until nothing was left standing.
His father, holding the egg safely in his arms, glanced at Merlin with raised eyebrows. "Are you certain that it was Morgana who had the vision and not you?"
Taken aback, Merlin's brow frowned, he cleared his throat. "Why?"
Balinor shrugged, nonchalantly. You seem fairly familiar with this place; you knew where to go and how to find the egg." His father explained and Merlin chuckled nervously.
"The vision was quite clear. We simply got lucky."
Balinor nodded, glancing away from the fallen castle at the weight his hands were currently carrying.
"We should leave. I'll summon kilgharrah...he'll tell us what to do with it..."
By the time they returned home, he found Morgana outside, waiting impatiently for them.
"Where is she?" she asked once she reached them and Balinor held out his hand, showing the white egg. She paused, staring down at it.
"Merlin insisted that we wait until we comeback before hatching the egg. He said that you'd be ..." he was cut off by his son.
"No one should miss this. You'll enjoy it immensely." He said gently.
Morgana turned to face him, fighting back happy tears that formed in her eyes.
Wrapping merlin up in her arms, she murmured a thank you as she rested her head on his shoulder.
He couldn't help but smile, and hugged her back.
They had spent two more days in Ealdore and as much as he had liked to stay longer, Merlin knew that there were more important things to attend to. Saying goodbye to his parents had been heart wrenching but he had swallowed thickly the lump of feelings that formed in his throat and ascended the carriage. With a heavy aching heart, he had taken once last glance at them before he had finally settled down at the stool facing Morgana.
Their journey back home began.
Almost half a day had gone by and the two occupants of the small space were yet to acknowledge the presence of one another.
While Morgana stared blankly at the nature they passed, Merlin was staring at her, unable to gaze away. He heard her sigh and he refocused his attention on the face of the woman who had been there for his white dragon, the woman who had done what should have been his duty. He wanted to thank her. He was not sure how to.
"I don't wish to return to Camelot" Morgana cut into the silence, her eyes remained fixed, gazing outside of the window as she spoke.
"Why?"
"Because it's what we both want..." she turned her head to face him. "We both know that you don't care about what happens to me" she sighed. "You made it perfectly clear that you bore no feelings toward this child and I have no intention in remaining in that Castle and do nothing but pretend that..."she trailed off, clearing her throat. "I shall be doing both of us a favor."
For a while, he didn't say anything. He watched her closely, it seemed to him that Morgana, even though she had spoken with confidence, she looked reluctant about her decision and if it weren't for the uncertainty glowing in her eyes, he almost believed her. Almost.
What she had said, seemed like a great idea, something he couldn't deny because that was what had wanted since the day he had woken up to find her sleeping next to him on the same bed.
But, now, there was a lot at risk.
How would he explain her sudden and unexpected disappearance to Arthur and the rest?
Furthermore, there was the dilemma of the child currently growing inside of Morgana that he needed to consider.
Though, he might have told Morgana that he held no interest toward the child, he had been simply lying to prove a point. And now, even though he couldn't blame her, Morgana had believed his words and was now reminding him of what he'd told her.
"Where will you go?" he asked with indifference, trying his best to appear not taken aback by her choice.
"Somewhere..." she shrugged. "Anywhere...I'm certain we can find shelter, a place to live."
He stilled, his eyes fixed on her swollen stomach and he cleared his throat. When he peered up she was staring at him and there was something in her eyes he couldn't decipher. Never could.
Heart thudding, Merlin held his breath.
The idea of being distant from his child was unbarring. He didn't wish for it to relive the sufferance Merlin had gone through growing without a father. Truth to be told he simply couldn't trust Morgana.
One good deed wouldn't make up for all the wrongs she had made and with that thought in mind, he sat forward.
"And I should trust that you to stay away from Camelot?"
Morgana straightened her shoulders. "I give you my word, Merlin. You will never lay your eyes on me again if you let me go now."
His heart ached as his mind struggled to find a something that might change her mind.
"What should I tell the others?" he inquired, with raised eyebrows.
Morgana breathed out, leaning once again back against the bench, and she smirked. She had not spoken yet, but he had a tingling felling upon seeing her smirk that he wouldn't like what she would tell him.
"I quite sure that it will not be hard for you to come up with something...After all you are a great liar."
Glaring at her, Merlin snorted.
Suddenly, the carriage jolted then came into a halt.
Sharing an alerted look, Merlin mumbled 'stay here' and Morgana nodded her head.
He opened the door of the carriage, reading himself to descend it when he noticed that Morgana was following him.
"Stay here" he ordered. Morgana rolled her eyes and flopped back on the stool but once the small door was closed, she inched closer to the window watching as Merlin and their driver conversed.
"What happened?" Merlin found the driver already on the ground checking the horses trying to find the cause of their accident.
The man shrugged absently, his brow frowned. "I don't know Sire. Something scared the horses. "
"Snakes?" Merlin wondered and once again the man was of no help as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Did you see anything?" Merlin asked, going around the carriage to examine the road they had passed.
Following the trail the carriage had left on the ground, Merlin and the driver searched for any trace of serpents. He found none.
"No. Sire. But..." He never managed to finish as uproar was heard and group of bandits attacked them.
The man beside him was jolted back by magic. Shocked to see that they were sorcerers, Merlin took a deep breath.
Using his magic he was able to throw back two of the attackers. The sound of the neighing horses took him by surprise, realizing that he had left Morgana alone in the buggy, Merlin spun around to watch with utter horror as it sped forward. One of the bandits driving, taking Morgana along with it.
"NO." Merlin cried out.
"Do not worry, Emrys. I shall take good care of her."
He instantly recognized that voice. His blood ran cold and he slowly turned around facing its owner.
She stepped forward and he stepped back. He was outnumbered and was very much aware of the men surrounding him and gradually forming a circle around him.
She smirked and his heart skipped a beat.
"Morgause..." he breathed out.