"What do you mean we can't leave?" Carter asked as I pulled a pizza out of the oven. "I mean we can't leave. We're staying put for the next couple days." I said as Jenna shook her head.
"Something is happening with Colby. What are you hiding?" Jenna asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, Jenna." I said with a sigh. "Let this cool, I'm gonna go grab the others." I said then went to go upstairs.
I knew that Jenna and Carter were going to be the ones that were going to catch on that something was wrong, but I was hoping that they would off on the curiosity until I could figure out how to answer.
I obviously couldn't tell them that Colby was a previous crime lord and how we met was him kidnapping me.
I couldn't tell them that he could very much so never come back because he fell back in love with the crime world or worse.
I couldn't tell them that he could be killed at any moment.
"No, Sam! We're not spies, we're princesses." Juniper whined as I walked into her room. Sam and Juniper were sat in the middle of the room with Barbies surrounding them.
It made my heart melt that even though Sam was getting older, he was still willing to play with his baby sister.
"Dinner's ready." I said causing them to look up. "Sissy, can you tell Sam that I'm in charge when we play Barbies?" Juniper asked causing me laugh.
"Honestly, I would be lucky he's playing Barbies at all." I said as she pouted.
"Sissyyyyy." She groaned causing me to smile. "I know, it's tough being five. How about some pizza." I said and held my hand out.
"I love pizza." She said and stood up, taking my hand. "Great, will you thank your brother for playing barbies with you?" I asked as she nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Sammy." She said and ran up to give him a hug.
"I secretly think it's fun." He said with a laugh, hugging her back.
"Reminds me of when you would ask us to play legos all the time." I hummed as we made our way downstairs.
"No, she's definitely hiding something." Jenna said to Carter as I came into the room. "Enough, guys." I said with an annoyed glare.
I was starting to get really annoyed by the fact they were constantly trying to figure out Colby and I's private shit.
Granted, I was hiding a lot from them for a reason but it was for their advantage.
The less they knew the better off they would be.
"Whatever." Jenna huffed causing me to roll my eyes. "Yeah. Fucking whatever." I snapped causing Juniper to cover her ears.
I knew I was being a huge bitch but my hormones were going wild due to the pregnancy and I was beyond stressed out about this whole situation.
"What is your problem?" Jenna asked as I shook my head.
"I'm tired and stressed out, Jenna! Nothing is going on other than I just need you to listen to me. You'll never understand how this feels, so just leave me alone." I said then turned to leave the room.
It was moments like this that I felt like I was completely over my head.
I couldn't raise these kids because I haven't even figured out how to navigate my own life. When I got to my room I slammed the door, groaning in frustration.
I felt like a teenager again but I guess it made sense with the influx of hormones radiating in my body.
Before I could even stop myself I sobbing, throwing myself onto the bed. I hated that I was feeling so unhinged but all I wanted was for the normalcy to come back.
I wanted Colby to be here to help pick up the pieces and help me through this.
I sobbed for a couple minutes before there was a soft knock on my door.
"What?!" I shrieked as the door opened. "Jule..." Carter said as I sniffled.
"I told you to leave me alone." I whispered, wiping my cheeks.
"Yeah, you just don't usually lash out like this. I guess I'm just worried." He said and closed the door, leaning on it.
"Don't worry about it. I'm just..I'm stressed." I said then sniffled and looked up at him.
"You miss Colby." He said as I nodded. "Yeah." I whispered, tears spilling onto my cheeks.
"It's okay to miss him. We miss him too." He said then came to sit on my bed.
"Do you think I'm in over my head?" I asked as he frowned. "What do you mean?" Carter asked and scrunched his brow.
"You kids are getting older. You need someone who is going to actually be able to support and parent you." I said as he nodded.
"Yeah. You and Colby." He said as I shook my head. "We don't know what we're doing. Jenna and I get in fights all the time and you guys just don't trust me." I said and looked away.
"I mean it's a little weird that you won't tell us why we're being trapped in the house." He said with a shrug.
"I have my reasons." I mumbled as he nodded. "We're old enough to take on some of the pressure, Jule. I get it if you see us as little kids but we're getting older." He said then went to leave the room.
I knew he was right.
"Can you uh...go get Jenna and come back here?" I asked, picking at my nails. "Yeah." He said then left the room.
I obviously wasn't going to tell them everything because that was up to Colby if he wanted them to know.
I was however going to drop a ball on them that I never expected to do.
"I don't want to talk to her, Carter. She's a brat." Jenna said he pushed her into my room. "You're the brat." He said then closed the door.
"Listen. I know I've been acting a little crazy." I said with a sigh. "There's something I feel like I need to tell you." I said and looked down.
"I've been nervous about Colby being away because of something that happened almost a year ago." I said quietly.
"Uh...dad was alive." I said quietly. "We thought he was dead but he wasn't." I explained, not wanting to look at them.
"So where is he?" Carter asked with a hint of excitement. "He's dead for real now." I said then shook my head.
"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about though. He was a horrible person who did horrible things to me." I said, my eyes watering.
"You're lying. Mom was the horrible one." Jenna said as I shook my head.
"I wish that was true, Jen." I said and started to cry. "What did he do, Jule?" Carter asked as I wiped my cheeks.
"I'm not going to go into detail but he did a horrible horrible thing to me. He was a terrible man who did illegal things." I explained.
"Like Colby?" Jenna asked as I cocked my head to the side. "What are you talking about?" I asked as she hummed.
"I always thought it was a dream but now that you're mentioning this, it seems real." She said then looked up at me.
"When you first left us I swore I saw someone in our house one night. He looked a little like Colby but I thought I was just crazy." She said as my heart raced. "So he does illegal things too?" Carter asked as I shook my head.
"I don't think that was him." I said, knowing it absolutely was.
Before he asked me to be his girlfriend the first time, he went into my childhood home to grab some stuff for me. That's probably when she saw him.
"Anyways, I'm sorry for being so crazy. I'm just fragile after everything and trying to learn how to be a parental figure hasn't been the easiest." I explained. "We don't make it any easier." Jenna said with a sigh.
"I know you're trying but we aren't children anymore. You can tell us stuff...like how dad died." She said as I shook my head.
"I won't be telling you that. Sorry, maybe in a couple years." I said with a sigh.
It honestly felt good to let a little bit of the secret out to them. Sure, it wasn't even dipping into the surface of all the shit that was going on.
Jenna and Carter may have been fifteen now but they still weren't old enough to know half of the shit we were dealing with here.
It was kinda horrible for me to tell them about dad especially since they thought of him as a great guy who died too soon, but if I was going to gain their trust I needed to tell them some things.
I was actually kinda surprised they weren't more effected by the news but I guess they were young when he died for the first time.
Or maybe they were a lot stronger than I ever thought.