Tw - ED⚠️
Also I know the timeline doesn't match - I wanted to keep Arizona in but the story only works if Alex has left so even though Arizona left before Alex just pretend that she didn't.
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A few days ago Jo Wilson put up a poster looking for roommates. She needed someone to split rent with. You were an intern and she was a general surgery attending but she was willing to split rent with anyone after her husband just left. You needed somewhere to live. Your mother, who was the only family you had left, had recently passed and left you with a lot of medical debt along with a debt from her funeral and a debt from the unpaid gas and electric at her old apartment - you figured if you lived with Jo you'd be able to sell the apartment and pay off some debt.
"Please Dr Wilson!" You begged her today when asking if the room was still available.
"Can you cook?" She asked.
You hesitated "... I'm sure I can learn!!" You said optimistically.
"Look, I'm just not sure about living with interns it's nothing personal I just..." Jo said.
"Please. I won't be a bother - we'll probably work different shifts anyway so you won't even have to see me. I just need a place to sleep - please" you begged again.
"Mmmm... ok! We're roomies!" She smiled.
You smiled back at her and went to hug her. She put her hands out.
"Woah I can't be giving you special treatment at work - that includes hugging in the hallways!" She told you, half-jokingly.
You moved in after your shift - you didn't have a lot of stuff so you managed to confine it to a small corner of the living room.
The key turns in the door and Jo comes in.
"You hungry?" She asked, waving a white plastic bag in your face. You could smell that the contents was a Chinese takeout.
"Nah I'm too tired to eat" you sighed.
You spread yourself out over the sofa and stretched.
"Suit yourself" she shrugged and shovelled a forkful of food in her mouth.
The next day
You left in a rush because you were being paged to the pit by your resident. You were almost out the door when you realised you didn't have any change for the bus. You were in so much debt you didn't even have a valid card.
"Shit!" You whispered. Obviously not quietly enough because Jo started to stir.
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you - I just don't have any change for the bus and I'm being paged!" You said, frantically.
"Front pocket of my bag" Jo groaned.
You took just enough for the bus fare because you didn't want to take advantage.
"Thank you" you said.
She groaned, groggily, in response and you shut the door quietly on your way out.
When you got to the hospital, you were told to check on a girl in bed 3 with 'stomach troubles'.
Robbins was already there.
You joined her.
"This is Dr y/n - she'll be looking after you too." Dr Robbins told the girl and gave her a smile before turning to you and giving you the facts about what she knew.
"She has trouble eating and keeping down food, severely underweight, dehydrated, admitted after an episode of syncope at her school talent show" Robbins tells you.
"I was doing a dance with my friends," the girl piped up "then I got really dizzy again" she said.
"Again?" You and Robbins both asked, simultaneously.
Just then, the girl's mother barges in.
"Holly! I was so worried!! What happened?" She turns to you and Robbins.
"Ma'am come with me and I'll tell you everything whilst we take a seat in the waiting room as they run more tests on your daughter - I know it's scary but we need to give them some room to work" you remained calm.
The mother was giving you bad vibes. She reminded you of your own mother. Even though it's wrong to speak ill of the dead, you weren't afraid to say that you and your mother didn't really get on. She was overbearing. And often, callous. From a young age, she drummed it into you that you weren't the right size. She'd always been stick thin and you were a little chubby. All children were chubby - but she continued to shame you even when you grew up. For Christmas, she'd always buy you the largest size clothes she could find - when you corrected her she'd respond with "oh I'm sorry(!) it's just that I had to take a guess and that's how big you looked - no need to be so ungrateful about it - I raised you better".
This girl's mother gave you that vibe right from the off. You escorted her to the waiting room, told her what you knew, and asked if there's any medical history you should know about. She said no so you went about your day.
You caught up with Jo a few hours later and asked if she knew how the girl was doing. She told you that she was on the case now as a general surgery attending and admitted to you that both her and Arizona were out of ideas as to what could be wrong with her. Apparently the girl insists that she isn't anorexic and that she actually likes food but just can't keep it down.
Without their knowledge, you went to speak to the girl on her own. You knew interns weren't allowed to talk to patients without an attending's knowledge but you wanted to see if you could get through to her.
"Hey Holly!" You smiled at her as you entered the room.
"Do I have to have more tests?" She asked.
"Nono - I'm just here to ask you some questions with a little privacy". You reassured her.
"Do you get on well with your mom?" You asked outright.
"She's my best friend" her response sounded robotic - there wasn't any passion behind it.
"You sure? You didn't sound sure?"
"She only wants what's best for me" she replied, again robotically.
"But that's not always what you want?" You asked, sympathetically.
"I want to dance but mom says I'm too chubby" she tells you, and she starts to cry and puts her hand over her mouth. Her mother had obviously told her not to tell anybody that.
"Are you making yourself throw up so you'll get skinny?" You asked her, sitting at the end of her bed and resting a hand on her leg.
"I used to. Now I don't even have to do anything - it's muscle memory." She said. She seemed almost proud but tears still streamed down her face.
You went to respond when Jo, Robbins and the girl's mother walk in.
"Dr y/n? What are you doing?" Robbins asked, a little irritated because you weren't supposed to be in there.
"I was just-"
"Holly! What's the matter darling?" The mother rushed over to her crying daughter. "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?!" The mother turned to you, angrily.
You weren't about to stand for it - you stood up to her like you should've with your own mother.
"NO - WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER??!!! CONVINCING HER THAT SHE'S TOO CHUBBY TO DANCE?! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE - NOW YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN HOSPITAL, SEVERELY MALNOURISHED AND DEPRESSED - MOTHER OF THE YEAR(!)" you screamed at her.
"DR Y/N - OUT!! NOW!!" Robbins instructs you.
You knew you were out of line but someone needed to stand up for that girl.
"Mrs Phillips I am so sorry for-" you heard Arizona apologising on your behalf as you left the room.
"Don't apologise for me Dr Robbins. She should be the one saying sorry - to her poor daughter!!" you said before shutting the door.
Jo follows you out.
"Y/N!! WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED YOU?!" She shouted at you.
"Jo, don't you start aswell-" you say.
"NO - ITS DR WILSON TO YOU WHILST WE'RE IN THIS HOSPITAL. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TALK TO THAT PATIENT WITHOUT SOMEONE PRESENT!!! WHAT MADE YOU ACT SO STUPIDLY?!!"
"OH - LET ME THINK... MAYBE MY DUTY OF CARE TOWARDS THIS EMOTIONALLY ABUSED TEENAGER?(!) HER WELL-BEING IS MY PRIORITY BECAUSE IT CLEARLY ISN'T HER MOTHER'S!!" you shouted back at her.
You huffed and walked off before Jo could respond. You headed home and lay back on your sofa.
Jo came home a few hours later. You didn't greet her. You were still mad. You lay there in silence for a bit.
"Want something to eat?" Jo eventually asked you.
"Nope" you replied.
"Y/n..." Jo goes to say something.
"Save it Dr Wilson" you said, bitterly.
"I just wanted to let you know that you were right... about the girl and her mother - she was being emotionally abused-"
"Told you" you say, bluntly.
"That doesn't mean you were right to scream at her like that or interrogate the poor girl without anybody present" Jo reminds you.
"As long as she's safe from that woman I don't care" you say.
"Come eat with me" Jo says.
"I ate whilst you were still working," you lied.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you - ok?" She apologised.
"No need to apologise Dr Wilson - you were just doing your job" you say, still a little bitterly.
"Ok... I can see that this isn't going to work with the whole 'work separate from home' thing we have going on," she says "so why don't we get to know each other a bit better - we can be work friends as well as living together?"
"No thanks - I'm tired" you say.
"Probably because you haven't eaten all day - did you eat yesterday? If you did it wasn't much" Jo confronted you.
"I did eat - I told you. I ate when you were at work." You continued to lie.
"You're a terrible liar. If you ate whilst I was out - where's the washing up? Or the packaging in the bin?" Jo asked, not unkindly.
"I ate in town" you lied. You were suprised at how easily the lies slipped off your tongue.
"With what money? I had to lend you money for the return ticket for the bus this morning and I noticed that you took just enough to get you to the hospital and back so you obviously didn't have any for food"
"What do you care? You're an attending and I'm an intern" you remarked.
"I want us to be friends - I like you y/n. You're smart, kind, and you stand up for what you believe in. So, actually, I do care about you." She says.
"That girl and her mom..." you began "it made me think of my own childhood" you confess.
"My mom was just like hers. That's how I spotted it instantly. I was never skinny enough for her. She wasn't that wrong - I am chubby and-" you started.
"You think you're chubby?" Jo seemed shocked.
"You don't have to lie to me and tell me I'm just 'healthy'-" you say.
"I wasn't going to - y/n... if anything you look- um... you don't look well" she said, softly.
"What?"
"You look ill y/n. I have to be honest because if I lie and tell you that you look a good weight it won't help. You look freakishly skinny. At first I thought you had some sort of autoimmune disease and I didn't wanna ask and make it awkward because I did that with my friend Stephanie once - anyway, the point is... you really need to eat something." You were shocked to hear this. You didn't believe her though.
"Like it's that simple?" You scoffed.
"We can talk to the chief tomorrow and then we can look for support networks and-"
You cut her off. "No thank you." You said.
"Y/n - you can't just ignore this! I'm worried about you!!" She pleaded with you.
"I'm being paged." You tell her, then you leave, remembering to grab your bus ticket off the counter on the way out.
"Dr y/n - Robbins requested you on her service in the PICU" Chief Bailey tells you upon your arrival.
"But what about all the patients coming in from that cruise ship?" You had assumed you'd been paged about the cruise ship that crashed.
"Most are DOA - we've got the rest, now get yourself down to the PICU or do I have to drag you there myself?" Bailey said with her usual sass.
You hurried down to the PICU. Robbins was at the nurses station.
"Dr y/n! What took you so long?" She asked.
"Sorry - there was traffic on the way here and the bus was-"
"It's fine I just wanted to talk to you about Holly Phillips - the girl from earlier." She said.
"Dr Robbins - I really don't want another argument about this so if that's all you paged me for?" You asked.
"No... actually. I mean, obviously Holly wants to talk to you and thank you for giving her the courage to speak out about that god-awful mother. But that's not why I paged you." She tells you.
"Then what?"
"Are you ok? It's just - I couldn't help but notice certain similarities between you and Holly... I know it's none of my business... but you don't seem like you're doing ok-"
"You're right, it is none of your business" you cut her off.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to check in - and I know that Dr Wilson has concerns too-"
"I know. She was doing my head in. Believe me, I'm fine Dr Robbins - you don't need to worry. Do you have any cases I can assist you on - Bailey said there was nothing for me in the pit?" You changed the subject.
"As a matter of fact... you can help with my appy in an hour if you're up for it? Just promise me 2 things..."
You rolled your eyes playfully.
"I'm serious. 1) promise me you won't ever talk to a patient, to a parent, to a doctor or to me like you did earlier ever again."
"I promise" you said, solemnly.
" And 2) promise me you'll talk to someone - even if it's not me or Jo. But if things get bad and me and Jo do have a reason to be concerned - promise me you'll get help."
"You have no reason to be concerned... but if you ever did, then I promise I'd get help" you lied.
"Good." She seemed satisfied with your response and gave you a smile.
An hour later, you were in the OR. You still hadn't eaten anything so you were very tired but you weren't about to miss out on a surgery as an intern.
You looked up towards the gallery and you could see Jo. She gave you a little wave and you waved back. The only reason a general surgery attending would be watching an appy is if it was a risky procedure (which this wasn't) or if they wanted to watch their friend below. You were touched by her kindness.
Arizona let you hold the clamp a few times. It was about halfway through and you were starting to feel dizzy. Standing up for an extended period of time on an empty stomach probably wasn't your smartest move.
"Everything ok Dr y/n?" Arizona asked. You'd been quiet for a while and hadn't asked any questions. This was because you were internally freaking out about possibly passing out.
"Mhm" you replied.
You handed her the clamp back and she noticed your hand was shaking. It didn't take a genius to realise that that isn't a good thing for a surgeon.
"You sure you're alright?"
"Yeah"
She wasn't about to trust you with the clamp again.
The procedure was over and you were relieved to get some air outside the OR.
Jo ran up to you. "Your first surgery!!! How was it?!" She asked, excitedly.
"It was good" you said, weakly.
"I bet you're tired though" she thought you were quiet and pale because of how tired you were after your first surgery.
"Dr y/n!" Robbins called after you.
You turned around.
"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about what I saw in there - have you eaten anything today?" She asked.
Jo was still listening.
"I had-" you go to answer.
"No she hasn't" Jo answered for you.
"I could tell. Your hands wouldn't stop shaking - surely you realise how dangerous that is as a surgeon?!!" Arizona was right.
"I'm sorry - I'm just gonna go - and get some air" you said, still very quietly and a little breathlessly.
Your ears were ringing so you could barely hear anything and you became really lightheaded.
You leant on the wall as you stumbled away from them.
"Y/n - come and sit down" you heard Jo say as she tried to put an arm around you.
You tried to bat her off, but you got so dizzy.
"Ok honey let's sit down" Jo said and Arizona pulled up a wheelchair.
You tried to carry on walking but your vision started to be covered with purple spots.
Then everything went black.
You fell right into Jo's arms and she lifted you up and sat you in the chair. She knelt in front of the chair so she'd be there for when you woke up and she sent Arizona to go and get you some water.
When you woke up, Jo was kneeling in front of you with an expression of concern and Arizona had her arm around your shoulder and was holding a cup of water with her other hand.
Jo noticed that you had started to stir and threw herself into your arms. She wrapped her arms around you.
"I was so worried about you! I didn't wanna lose my new roomie already - not straight after losing my husband!" She joked but the joke wasn't really funny - just unhinged.
Arizona hands you the cup of water.
You gratefully accept the water and start sipping.
"You know I have to report this to the chief?" Arizona asked you, gently.
You looked at Jo. Tears started brimming in your eyes and you felt them run down your face.
"Jo... what do I do?" You started to sob.
"Come here" she pulled you in for another hug and you sobbed some more.
Just then, the Chief walked past.
"Good Lord! What happened here?! Please don't tell me I've lost another surgeon!" Bailey remarked when she saw you in the wheelchair.
"Chief - can I just talk with you about something quickly" Robbins pulled her aside so you could continue to cry into Jo's hair.
"You're ok hon'" Jo whispered.
You hugged her tighter.
Bailey came back a few moments later when Robbins had filled her in.
She tries to whisper something to Jo but Bailey isn't known for being quiet so you heard everything she said.
Bailey said "She lives with you, right? News travels. As chief I'm ordering you to take her home, take care of her, for both of you to take a leave of absence and let me deal with the rest - ok? I don't want to see her back here until she's better - and I don't think she should be alone if you know what I mean..."
Jo nodded.
"The chief said we can have some time off" she tells you.
"I don't even know where to start Jo" you confessed tearily.
"How about some of my fries? I'm starving and I'm sure you are too. But I'm not gonna make you eat a whole meal if you're not up to it. Just some fries. We'll pick some up on the way home. And then we can carry on getting to know each other - like normal roomies!" She seemed excited by the prospect of you two bonding.
You nodded. She wheeled you out to her car and you got in.
When you got home, you learnt about how she lived in her car, about her favourite films, about the people she dated before Alex, her abusive ex husband, her experience with her mother, and her astrological profile. You laughed when appropriate but also cried with her. All whilst sharing a bag of fries, as roommates do. Once all the chips were gone, she put on 'mean girls' (one of her favourites) so you didn't even get a chance to feel guilty about everything you just ate - Jo was smart like that.
Of course you knew you had a long recovery ahead - but you had a goal now. You wanted to be well enough to practice medicine and you weren't about to let your dead mother's ghost ruin that. You needed to break those old, unhealthy routines. Recovery was easier with a roommate to guide you but it wasn't easy at all. You'd broken several plates after throwing meals across the room but you always replaced them. Jo was never angry at you - she was telling the truth when she said she cared about you. Robbins had sent you and Jo some flowers with a 'miss you' card attached on behalf of the hospital and that continued to motivate you. You needed to get better for your own career but also so Jo could get back to hers.
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Word count - 3583
A bit of a longer chapter.
I FINALLY FINISHED THE JO ONE!!!
I don't know if it's any good but I'm glad I got it finished.