The day seems to pass excruciatingly slowly, even though there's plenty to do. I can't focus on my work, because my mind is constantly on either Negan or Ella or both.
What will he do about Simon? Is he going to kill him? And what will he do about Ella? Is he going to spare the Hilltop to keep her safe? I don't think I can hope for that much. But he did say he didn't want me to lose her. So he'll do something, right?
I wonder what she's doing right now. It's hard to believe that only one full day and night have passed since the night of our escape. It feels like I haven't seen her in ages. It's a relief to know that she made it to the Hilltop with Cal and B, but who knows what's going on there?
I hate to rely on Negan to keep her safe, because I just can't trust him entirely. I believe that he'll try, but if it comes down to choosing between me and Ella and himself, I know who he'll choose. I wish I could take action myself, but I really don't see a way.
It's clear that even though we got very close last night, he trusts me even less than I trust him. Not one, but two guards follow me at all times. They don't say a word to me unless it's absolutely necessary. It makes me miss Cal. Even when he's was guarding me, at least we had fun together.
It's in the late afternoon when there's finally a development. We're all requested to make our way to the main hall of the Sanctuary. A pit forms in my stomach when I make my way over, escorted by my two guards. My guess is that this is about Simon. Is he going to do some sort of public trial? Or execution even? I certainly hope not.
When we reach the main hall, it soon becomes apparent that I was right. The hall is filled with people. Saviours, mostly. Some workers too. And in the middle of the crowd, there are two men.
Negan and Simon.
I feel sick. I can't watch him kill him. Even if we'd probably all be better off with Simon dead, he'll be dying for a crime he didn't commit. I couldn't kill Negan, but I'll still be responsible for someone's death.
My guards make me stand on the platform overlooking the hall to watch. Best seat in the house. But I don't want to see this.
Still, I cling on to the banister and let my eyes glide over the scene. Negan looks up at me for a moment when he notices my arrival. I can only stare at him with wide eyes.
This is your last chance to tell the truth. It wasn't Simon that betrayed him, it was Dwight.
Speaking of Dwight, I can feel another pair of eyes on me. I look away from Negan and find him staring at me from the crowd. Even from the distance, I can see the hint of disappointment in his eyes. Yes, Negan could have been dead right now. But so could he be if I'd given him up.
When the crowd quiets down, Negan raises his arms and takes a few dramatically slow steps towards Simon, who is being held by a two other Saviours. I guess the show is about to start.
'Simon', Negan starts. 'My right-hand man, my number fucjing two decided that I am no longer fit to rule the Sanctuary. Can you believe it?'
Jeers rise up from the crowd making it clear that no, they cannot believe it. My feeling of apprehension deepens when I see the grin on Negan's face. I should have known that he was going to make a spectacle out of this.
He makes a short lap to address the crowd, but then he turns back to Simon and looks at him with bloodlust in his eyes.
'If you wanna be the man, you gotta beat the man', he tells at him. 'If you can do that... then hell, you should be the man.'
What is he talking about? I frown confused when Negan signals at the Saviours holding Simon and they let him go. But then the meaning of his words hits me.
'They are going to fight... To the death?'
I don't realize that I said it out loud until my guard turns to me to answer.
'Oh yeah', he says, sounding more excited than anyone should be at the prospect of seeing someone die. 'This place is a motherfucking jungle and those two gorillas are gonna settle this thing old-school style.'
'It's barbaric', I mutter under my breath.
'Fucking idiot', my other guard mumbles, looking down on Simon. 'Planning a hostile take-over right under the big man's nose. What the hell was he thinking? Negan's ging to enjoy it. The rest of them were lucky they just got shot.'
I look at my guard and consider his words. The rest of them? Who does he mean by that? I only told Negan about Simon, there was nobody else involved last night. But maybe there's more going on that I don't know about.
'What happened exactly?' I ask the guard. They both suddenly seem more talkative than they did all day. The prospect of blood must have gotten them excited.
'Simon walked right into his trap', the guard tells me. 'Gathered all his guys together and told them all about his plan to kill Negan. But he trusted the wrong man. Dwight told Negan and he was right there to hear the whole thing. No getting out of that one.'
'Oh', I utter. Sounds like Negan tested him. And it seems that Simon was in fact plotting against him. I guess I got lucky in naming him.
It eases some of the guilt building up inside me, but I still don't want to watch what's next. Why would Negan do it like this? He could have just shot him and be done with it. Now, he's in danger too. What if Simon beats him? Then we're all screwed.
Simon doesn't seem like he's going to go down without a fight. He takes his moment to shine and addresses the crowd once Negan is done.
'Everyone!' he calls out. 'After this is done, we get to work. Just know that I didn't want this. But the Sanctuary must stand.'
He turns to face Negan and points at him. I can see a malicious grin spread on Negan's face. If he's scared at all, he doesn't show it.
'This is not the man to prosecute this conflict', he continues, turning his back to Negan so that I can see the mockery on his face.
'Just wanted to say... A grateful thank you.'
Then he turns around and swings. I gasp when his fist makes contact with Negan's jaw. Clearly, he didn't see the punch coming, because it brings him down to the ground.
'Oh, shit', one of my guard comments, grinning like he's watching some sort of boxing competition.
Simon gets on top of Negan and punches him hard, again and again. My stomach turns at the sight of blood spraying from his face.
'Somebody stop this!' I call out. Of course, nobody reacts. Simon continues to throw punches until Negan grabs his arm and fends him off and finally manages to crawl back up.
Now it's his turn to get in some hits. Simon almost loses his footing when Negan grabs him and elbows him hard in the neck. But he manages to get away and swings his first at Negan again.
This is absolutely insane. My guard was right. They're like two gorillas fighting for control of the jungle. You can hardly call them human watching the feral ferocity with which they attack each other.
My knuckles turn white from the intensity with which I hold on to the railing. I don't want to see this, but at the same time, I can't look away.
What if Simon kills him? Then I would have still caused his death. None of this would have happened if I hadn't called out Simon's name.
Or he might have killed him anyway. Clearly, Simon was planning something. You may as well have saved his life.
Right now, that doesn't seem too apparent. Negan takes another hit and stumbles back. He has his back turned to Simon as he tries to recover and I can see the man approach him at high speed.
'Watch out!' I call out.
For a second, he looks up towards me. Then Simon is upon him, but without even looking, he reaches out behind him and grabs Simon before he can get to him. Then he bodyslams him into the floor.
Within seconds, Negan has his hands around Simon's throat. I can't see it well. My view is on Negan's tense shoulders, but it's clear what's happening. Simon's hands flail into the air and try to push Negan away, but it's to no avail. I bring my hand slowly to my mouth as I watch it all happen.
'You killed all the garbage people', Negan growls. His voice sounds strained, probably from the pressure he's putting on the man beneath him. 'I trusted you and you go behind my back. You set her up against me.'
My heart skips a beat when he mentions me. I imagine all eyes turning to me, but of course, nobody knows what happened. Nobody but Dwight, who I can see throwing a curious glance at me.
I wonder what it means to Simon. Does he realize someone set him up in his last moments? But even if he wanted to protest, he gets no opportunity.
'You made me do this!' Negan calls out. I can hear the emotion in his voice and one again my stomach sinks. He didn't want to do this. And I made him.
You didn't make him do anything. You didn't tell him to challenge the man to a fight and choke him to death. That was his decision.
As always, my mind is spinning with contradictive thoughts, driving me nuts. But then there is no opportunity to think anymore, because Negan gets up and the sight of Simon's lifeless body makes my mind go still.
Negan takes a last look at the body and wipes some of the blood from his face. Then he leaves the hall without another word. The gathered crowd stays behind in loaded silence. Simon's body lies discarded on the ground.
I'm not quite sure what to do, shocked by everything I just watched infold. But then my guard pulls me out of my daze.
'Come on, doc. The big man looks like he could use your help.'