Six years ago: The night of the incident.
Wesbech University Hospital.
"WE HAVE a 21-year-old female patient who was shot three times in the back during a kidnapping scene." The paramedics rushed towards the hospital, pushing the stretcher where the unconscious Khio had been resting for 35 minutes since the incident happened.
"What is her condition?" The resident doctor asked while checking her.
"She is in critical condition and is not breathing or responding to stimuli. We were able to locate the bullets and have stopped the bleeding, but her vitals are very weak." As they continue to speak, Solana was lying unconsciously on a stretcher with Sydney and Agatha following behind them as another medical staff came to them to ask the paramedics more questions.
Both of them laid side by side, the other one passed out by inhaling too much smoke from the fire, and the other one was fighting for her life from the bullets she got behind her back. Sydney was crying uncontrollably as she watched the sight of the two important people in her life who were lying lifelessly. How did things turn out like this?
"We need to get her to surgery right away. What's her blood pressure?" The situation with Khio was much more serious as her breathing started to become more restricted.
"It's currently 90/60 mmHg, her pulse is thready, and her breathing is shallow."
"All right, let's get her prepped for surgery. What about her oxygen saturation?" The doctor was hoping to hear a good response but lost hope upon seeing her.
"It's low at 88%, and she's not receiving supplemental oxygen."
"Start an IV, prep her for surgery, and call the trauma surgeon. We need to work quickly to save her life." She said to one of the nurses as they act on it.
Khio was immediately taken to the Operating room while Solana was sent to the Emergency room. The doctor examined her to see the extent of the injuries. He then immediately instructed his staff to make the necessary preparations for the surgery.
"W-where is she?!" Jasmine Avila, her mother was frantically shouting and crying at the nurses the moment she arrived at the hospital, with her husband following behind.
They immediately rushed to the hospital after receiving a call from the Police about their daughter's situation.
"Ma'am, huminahon po muna kayo—"
"No! I'm not going to calm down when my daughter's life is in danger!"
"Nasaan ang anak namin?" It was Robert Rontini asked the question calmy.
"Ano po ang pangalan ng pasyente?"
"K-khione Avila. She's our daughter."
The nurse in the station checked if there was a patient with that name, "Nasa operating room na po ang anak niyo. Kasalukuyan po siyang inihahanda para sa surgery."
"Oh God, Robert!" She cried desperately as she hugged him. "Yung anak natin.."
"She's going to be okay." He kissed her forehead, "Once her surgery is done, we'll take her back."
As her husband was comforting her, Jasmine saw Sydney sitting outside the emergency room and her face immediately changed and walked towards her as she slapped her in the face.
"Jasmine!" Robert said as he tried to stop his wife. "That's enough!"
"This is all your family's fault!" Dinuro niya pa ito. "Hindi niyo na kami tinantanan— from attempting to ruin our business, and now you have totally ruined my daughter's life!"
The latter was too stunned to speak as she saw how angry Khione's mother was, agad namang kumaripas ng takbo si Agatha towards her and protected Sydney behind her.
"Excuse me, but what gives you the right to just physically hurt someone?" Agatha questioned her angrily while Sydney reached for her hand to stop her.
"And who are you?"
"Jasmine, tama na. You are making a big scene here."
"That's the second time you've hurt my daughters, Avila." The voice of Benjamin Armani caught everyone's attention as he entered the hospital.
Everyone was whispering and exchanging glances at each other as they saw how the two powerful names in the business industry has come face to face. It only took one glance from the Chairman of Armani Corporations for them to go back to what they were doing.
"My daughter risked her life for your daughter. Her life is on the line, Armani. You don't understand what we are going through, dahil hindi naman buhay ng anak mo ang mawawala." Her words were like a venom towards him. "In fact, your daughter should be in her situation instead!"
"How dare you—"
"It's the truth—"
"Enough! Both of you!" Sydney yelled at them, frustrated and angered by their behavior. Seeing their so-called-parents bringing their issues here and using their children to continue their rivalry doesn't sit well with her and she had enough of it. "Not to disrespect you, ma'am. But my sister saved your daughter's life as well. You weren't there to witness how she ran inside when the fire happened— even if that means putting herself at risk.. she did that just to save her."
Natahimik naman ang lahat sa isiniwalat ni Sydney, especially Benjamin Armani whom she looked at dead in the eye. "No one should be blaming anyone but themselves here."
With that she reached for Agatha's hand as they left the hospital, leaving them in silence.
***
It had been hours, lahat sila ay hinihintay kung ano ang balita tungkol kay Khione.
"I can't believe all of this happened tonight." Maddison said while observing Maevis and the others waiting anxiously in their seats. "David is gone.. Reese in prison, Solana still unconscious in her hospital bed, and Khione.."
"She'll be okay." Vivien stated, her eyes bloodshot in red from crying the whole night. "K-khio will be okay."
Hindi naman maiwasan ni Zafiana na yakapin ang kaibigan. This night has been traumatizing for all of them, she's a little glad that Solana isn't awake dahil baka hindi rin nito kayanin ang nangyari ngayong gabi. "Why do things have to be so complicated for the both of them, right?"
"The only thing that we can do is hope for the best." They all looked at Esmé, "After this, it could still be complicated."
She looked at Khio's parents who were outside of the operating room. May mga kausap ito sa telepono and they all knew what Esmé meant by that. If there's a chance that Khio will survive, there is no way that her parents wouldn't involve themselves from preventing her relationship with Solana.
Because it would be too good to be true.
For their love to be easy.
"Khio is a fighter. Hindi madaling sumuko ang batang iyon. But I'm worried about Solana.. once she wakes up, it would take a toll on her. I-I don't want to see her in that state." Cali who was the life of the group suddenly said, she has been awfully quiet since the news broke out to them. Lahat naman sila ay hindi makapaniwala sa nangyari.
They almost lost the lives of their friends tonight.
David's death hasn't even come into their senses, they all hated him but what he did tonight was remarkably brave. To save Solana's life who was protecting the person she loves.
Vivien closed her eyes tightly. Even if she was hurting inside, she still prayed that things will be a lot easier for the both of them. She would never wish the downfall of two of the most important people in her life. Even if it means that she'll live with pain in her heart by seeing them together.
Both of them went through so much.
And separating them whether under circumstances or death is the most painful thing that the universe will give to them.
Sa kabilang dako naman ay umiiyak na rin si Maevis habang pinapatahan naman siya ni Astrea. Elyzra has been bawling earlier until tears ran dry from her eyes after hearing that Khio has been shot. Sydney came to talk to them earlier to tell them everything.
And she couldn't help but to feel guilty.
This is what she was scared of— her cousin's life being in danger.
Matindi rin ang naging away nila dahil sa naging relasyon ni Khio with Professor Clemonte, the first time she had a hunch about it was back at Professor Beliciana's birthday in Tagaytay, after knowing the truth of Reese's plan and her illegal doings, alam niya that there's a big possibility that she will ran back to Solana's arms. She was drunk but she knows what she saw that night.
Them sneaking out from the house.
She wanted to stop them, but how can she? She knows what Khio has been going through for the past few weeks of her break up with Solana. Not being able to eat, to smile, and even study. So, she shrugged them off. Hoping that it was the alcohol making her believe that they might have been back together.
She has been in contact with her Tita Jasmine since she reached out to her, giving updates and telling her how Khio has been doing. Naniniwala naman siya that her Tita loves her daughter— no mother would be able to endure to be separated from their child. So, even if Khio might end up hating her for what she's done, she still did it for her sake.
It was just a matter of time for her parents to bring her back to their home; to finally support Khio in her dreams and to train her at the same time. But who's mother wouldn't feel angered when they found out that their daughter became a mistress?
Once Elyzra found out about the two having an affair— she didn't know why she got so angry. Maybe because she believes that her cousin didn't deserve to be someone else's mistress. That her life will take an awful turn because she knows Khio, she would do anything for someone she loves, she had already seen it with her own eyes.
Gusto niyang pumunta ngayon sa operating room at gisingin ito sabay sabihan ng 'I told you so!' But all she hopes now is for her cousin to be alive. Hindi niya rin maiwasan na magalit sa sarili for handling the news of them together again badly. Tama nga si Khio.
Sino ba siya para pakialaman silang dalawa?
Knowing how both of them fought to save each other was already enough for someone like Elyzra to believe that Khio and Solana will do anything for each other.
Even risking their lives for the other.
A nurse came out from the operating room, her look seemed that something bad had happened.
"Is there anyone here with the same blood type as our patient? She is losing too much blood, naubusan na rin po ang hospital ng dugo—"
"What?! and you call this a hospital?!" Jasmine was in rage. "Bakit dito pa siya dinala?!"
Robert immediately went to her and stopped her from making a scene again.
The nurse couldn't help but to get shocked as she stuttered, "T-type AB negative po yung pasyente."
"M-me. I have the same blood type as her." Vivien stood up from her seat and wiped her tears to dry them. "I'm willing to donate."
The nurse nodded before escorting Vivien to test her in the lab, all of them went quiet again. Hoping that the next time a nurse or a doctor comes out, they will hear good news from them.
***
Dr. Villanueva's office.
"The surgery was a success and your daughter will live. But we have to make sure that she's monitored 24/7. Mahirap ang naging kaso niya ngayon, we almost lost her during surgery, but she's indeed a fighter." The doctor explained to Khio's parents when he called them in his office.
Jasmine and Robert felt relief after hearing the news from him, they were crying as they hugged each other. Once Jasmine finally composed herself she immediately asked him; "Will we be able to fly her tomorrow morning? As her parents, we think that she will receive the best treatment at our trusted hospital in Italy."
Napabuntong hininga naman ang doktor sa sinabi niya, "I understand your concern. Flying a patient who has just had surgery is very risky. But I can understand why you want to do this. Let me check her medical records and see what I can do."
"Thank you so much for looking into this. We just want what's best for our daughter." Robert said and smiled at him while he was holding on to his wife.
"Of course. I will get back to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, please make sure that the new hospital is aware of her medical condition and that they are prepared to receive her. I will be in touch soon."
Once they left his office, Jasmine looked at their friends who are in the waiting room. She was the one who requested the doctor to tell them the news privately.
"They shouldn't know about this, Robert."
"They're their friends. Mahigit dalawang taon na hindi natin nakasama si Khione, her friends were the only ones who were with her. Bakit ipagkakait natin sa kanila na malaman na maayos ang kalagayan ng anak natin, Jasmine?"
"..You heard what the police said." She couldn't help but get worried. "As long as Reese is here, I don't trust my daughter to live in this place. Do you really think that crazy woman would just let this slide? She killed her men, Robert. She shot my daughter. Khio even dragged Elyzra to investigate with her, which caused this mess in the first place. Hindi ko na ito hahayaan mangyari, Robert. My daughter is alive right now— but I'm scared of what that woman will do to her, especially when she's involved in a dangerous drug cartel. Being in prison while her trial is ongoing will never be enough. So, you can't blame me."
He sighed because he knows that his wife was right. Delikado ang magiging kalagayan ng anak nila kung hindi nila ito ilalayo sa ngayon. "Then what's your plan? How do we tell the news to them?"
It took her a minute of silence before a sigh escaped from her lips.
"We'll have to fake her death. Nobody has to know where she is, tanging si Elyzra lang ang nakakaalam as I trust her enough to keep this secret for a while. I'm sure once Khio finds out, Elyzra will probably explain why we did this." She explained thoroughly. "I'll contact someone to have a fake cremation and then we will held a funeral once Benjamin's daughter wakes up. Uuwi tayo for that, but now we have to prepare everything."
As a mother, hindi naman mapigilan ni Jasmine na maiyak at masaktan. She knows how this will affect Khio and the people around her, but she was left with no choice.
"..She'll hate us."
"I'd rather have her safe in another country and hate us, than let her stay here while her life is in danger. I can't lose my child, Robert."
When they called her over, Elyzra was glad to know that her cousin was alive. But that happiness faded into confusion when they told her about their plan— faking Khio's death. Kahit ni isa sa mga kaibigan nila, not even Professor Clemonte will know about it.
"We trust you, Elyzra. This is for Khione's sake as well." Jasmine touched her on both shoulders, her eyes pleading. "I'll tell your mother and your Tita Jen about it once we've landed in Italy.. for now, it's a secret no one must know."
Still unable to speak, Elyzra exhaled deeply before nodding— agreeing to what she had planned.
It was heavy.
To announce Khio's death.
To look at everyone's faces as she lied in front of them.
The once quiet room was filled with uncontrollable sobs and cries— from the Professors and their own friends.
Hindi niya na rin mapigilan ang mapaiyak. She should be happy; knowing that Khio is alive, but seeing the devastating looks on their faces has placed the biggest burden on Elyzra.
How could she even afford to say that once Professor Clemonte wakes up?
Everyone believed her.
But what hurts them the most is how they didn't even have the chance to look at her for one last time as the doctor came in and broke the news that she had been scheduled to be cremated that morning.
Her parents requested an immediate action, kaya naman mas lalong bumigat ang nararamdaman nilang lahat. They all refused to believe it.
Khione is now announced as dead, but will forever live in their hearts.
/
Khione
I awoke with a sharp pain in my back, and a feeling of disorientation. It felt like I had been asleep for a long time. Something that I have never felt before. I slowly opened my eyes and began to take in my surroundings. My gaze was blurry as the white ceilings welcomed me.
My memories are vivid but I'm aware that I'm in a hospital room. And all I know is that I'm in a lot of pain. My whole body aches, and I can barely move. I can feel needles and tubes attached to me, and I can hear beeping noises in the background.
The pain. It felt like it was coming from everywhere. My head was pounding, my chest was aching, and my body felt like it had been through a war. I could barely move and I was struggling to breathe. I wanted to scream in agony but I couldn't.
But my body doesn't want to.
"Chiama il dottore, ora è sveglia. (Call the doctor, she is awake now.)"
Rinig ko ang ibang lenggwahe na ginamit ng mga nurse na nasa loob ng kwarto, pilit 'kong iniintindi ang mga salita nila pero nang mapagtanto ko na italian ang sinasambit nila ay kaagad ko nang napagtanto na nasa ibang bansa ako.
My heart raced, I was confused and in fear.
Bigla naman akong napatingin sa pintuan when I saw the doctor entering with his medical staff as he ordered them to check my vital signs.
"Si ricorda di me, signora Avila? (Do you remember me, Ms. Avila?)" He smiled at me. "Perhaps you're still confused. How are you feeling?"
He spoke in english which made me understand what he was saying.
"G-groggy." I answered in a stutter. Naninibago din ako, it's like I have lost my voice for a very long time. "W-where am I? W-what happened.."
"We've been waiting for you to wake up." He answered.
His staff was finally done with checking me and told him what they had found. Hindi ko na rin maintindihan ang sinasabi nila as they were speaking in italian. Once they were done talking, they immediately went out as he remained standing in front of me.
"I am your family doctor here in Italy. Doctor Ebbasta, if you have remembered when you were still young, you were admitted in this hospital as well."
..Italy.
I'm in Italy?
"It's okay to be confused. You've been in a coma for three weeks now and during this time we've been monitoring you closely in case you'd move a muscle. And when one of the nurses told me that she had seen your fingers move, I know that you'll wake up sooner than expected. And here you are."
I looked around the room, trying to make sense of where I was as I tried to remember what had happened.
"You're not going to die.. no, not in this way. Amora! Wake up!"
"Please.. don't say that. Amora, I— I can't lose you. Please, bab-y."
"Amora!"
I was hit with a wave of fear as it all came back to me.
"..Avi." I whispered as I tried to sit up from lying down, but couldn't. "I-I have to go.. I shouldn't be here!"
"Signora Avila, please calm down."
I remember it now. How I ran in front of her to catch those bullets that Reese aimed for her. The horified look on her face was all I remember.
Is that the reason why I have been in a coma?
Hindi ko mapigilan ang mag-alala, if I have been out for three weeks, that means Solana has been waiting for me as well.
I need to see her—
"Khione.. you're finally awake!" At that moment, I heard my mother's voice. "Ramon, is she alright?!"
Nakita ko na kasama niya si Dad and they all went to me, hugging and kissing me as if they have never been absent in my life.
"Jasmine, Robert. I'm glad to see you again." The doctor said as he nodded at them, "We're going to continue to monitor her closely and do some tests to see how she's doing. We need to take some precautionary measures to make sure she's feeling her best. I'm going to order some tests to be done and monitor her vitals to ensure she's in good health and to rule out any potential issues that could be related to the coma. I'm also going to refer her to a neurologist for further tests. In the meantime, let's take it easy and do what we can to get her back to good health."
"I'm also going to recommend your daughter speak with a psychologist to help her with any emotions that she may be experiencing related to.." He trailed off, not really finishing his sentence he looked at my parents.
"Just do everything you can to ensure that there will be no complications." It was my dad who said that.
"Well then, I'll be back later this afternoon to check her again before we proceed with the tests."
"Thank you, Ramon."
Nang makalabas na siya ay kaagad naman akong kinausap ng magulang ko, asking if how was I feeling, if I needed anything, but until now they haven't even explained to me what happened.
How did I even end up being here in Italy when the last time I remember was being in Solana's arms?
"I'm glad you're awake now." My mother was in tears, her face and tone relieved. "I thought we'd never see you again.. not after what you've been through."
"..Why am I here?" My voice was hoarse but I still managed to ask that question. "I want to go home."
Natigilan naman silang dalawa as my dad held my mom's arms. "We'll be home in a couple of weeks, kailangan mo lang gumaling—"
"Why am I here, Dad?" Putol ko sa sinasabi niya. "Bakit niyo ako dinala dito sa Italy? Where is Solana? Kasama niyo rin ba siya?"
"Khione, you should rest."
"You're not answering my questions."
"We'll explain to you when you're finally better—"
"I need answers!" I yelled at them. I was feeling frustrated with my situation, being with them doesn't even make me happy dahil sa totoo lang.. I was expecting to see Solana when I woke up from this nightmare.
"You're unstable right now." Pagmamataas pa din ng nanay ko. "Your questions can wait once you're fully recovered."
"I'm not a kid anymore, Mom! I have been in a coma for the last three weeks, the last thing I remember is seeing Solana's horified face thinking that I might be dead. And you want me to just rest? to wait?"
Narinig ko nalang ang biglaang pagtunog ng machine sa gilid ko when I raised my voice at them, masakit na din ang ulo ko marahil sa biglaang pagsigaw ko sa kanila kanina.
"Her blood pressure is rising, Robert– call the nurses!"
I bit my bottom lip in frustration as I could feel my tears streaming down my face, hindi ko na rin iniinda ang sakit na nararamdaman ko as my breath started to turn shallow. The nurses rushed in as they tried to hold me but I kept pushing them away.
"Khione Amora Avila!" My mother yelled loudly, "Why do you have to be so stubborn?!"
"Jasmine, tama na. You shouldn't be yelling at our daughter right now!" That was the first time I've heard my dad stand up to her. Tila natigilan naman siya when she realized that she had raised her voice at me as I looked at her, dumbfounded by what she just did.
She calmed down when she finally saw me not resisting the nurses to come to me. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanila as I let my tears flow down.
"..I just want to see her." That's all I said as I closed my eyes, not feeling anything at this moment but pain in my heart.
...
1 week later.
I'm still stuck in this hospital. As far as I remember, my parents told me that the moment my surgery was successful back in the Philippines, they requested to fly me here in Italy to receive full treatment and medication. It was impossible for me to wake up within the year due to my situation, but just like a miracle. Nagising ako.
Maybe my body sensed that I wanted to live.
Bullshit crap.
It just means one thing— I can't die.
Lalo na ngayon na para akong walang kamuwang-muwang sa nangyayari. I don't even know what happened back in the Philippines. All I know is until I'm fully recovered, they will explain everything to me.
But I don't trust them.
If only they'd let me see or talk to her, then it's already enough for me.
Siya lang naman ang bukod tanging pinagkakatiwalaan ko— even if she broke my trust the first time. Solana proved to me that despite who or what I am, she will always love me still.
"Khione." My thoughts broke off as I heard a familiar voice from the front door, when I looked at them my eyes widened in shock after seeing who it was. "Hey, couz."
"E-ely.." I wasn't able to fully grasp the situation as she ran towards me and hugged me tight. "I-I can't breathe!"
"You asshole!"
"What the heck! Why are you here?" Naubo pa nga ako dahil parang naipit yung hangin sa dibdib ko dahil sa higpit ng yakap niya kanina. "Are you.. crying?"
"I'm sorry.." She bawled her eyes out, "I really am."
"Alin ba?" I frowned at her. "Sa pagiging bitchesa mo, sa pagt-traydor mo sa'kin, sa pagsabi ng masasamang salita tungkol sa'kin at kay Solana, sa pangingialam mo sa relasyon ko or sa pagyakap mo ng mahigpit sa'kin?"
"Damn you." She glared at me, "..But you should add one more from the list."
"What are you talking about?"
Tumingin ito sa likuran niya as if she was making sure that no one was there which made me frown even more. "I shouldn't be telling you this so soon."
"Ano?"
"I'm just here to visit you. Tama sila Tita, your situation is still unstable. Sinabi rin nila sa'kin that you're seeing a psychologist, and telling you things might mess up your treatment—"
"Just fucking tell me everything I need to know, Ely." I couldn't help but to curse, "I can handle myself, kung gagawin niyo lang akong bata na kailangan pang ihanda ang sarili sa kung ano ang dapat 'kong malaman.. then you shouldn't have come. Save your sorries when you really mean it."
"Khio.."
"How is she?" I dodged her possible excuse and directed my question about Solana. "Kahit 'yon lang. I can't leave my room, I can't have any contact with anyone back in the Philippines and I can't even call Solana because I don't have a phone with me. Kulang nalang ay itrato akong preso dito."
Naglabas naman ito ng malalim na buntong hininga, her face shows a worried expression kaya hindi ko rin maiwasan na mag-alala. What if something happened to her? What if she was waiting for me and got tired?
"..She's doing fine." Labas sa ilong niyang balita sa'kin. That doesn't convince me at all.
"Don't lie to me, Ely."
"She is. Kalalabas niya lang last week from the hospital and as far as I remember she's recovering well."
"She didn't asked about me? Alam ba niya na nilipat ako dito? H-hindi ba niya ako pupuntahan–"
"I believe that won't happen."
"..Did my parents threatened her? Anong sinabi nila? H-hindi susuko sa'kin si Solana, if she knows I'm awake now ay alam ko na pupunta siya kaagad dito!"
"That won't happen, couz." She held my hands tightly. "She won't come."
"Tell me why."
She swallowed thickly before lowering her head, "I-I can't."
"Tell me."
"Khio, mas mabuting magpagaling ka muna—"
"Punyeta, sabihin mo na!" I had enough of secrecy and lies, why can't they just tell me the truth? Mahirap bang gawin 'yon? Putangina nakakapagod at nakakarindi na ang kasinungalingan.
"Because you're dead, Khio!" She whispered aggressively, her eyes shut as if she was bracing herself.
I couldn't believe what I just heard from her. "..What?"
She exhaled shakily as I pushed her hands away from me. "You're dead.."
"You're crazy!"
"You're dead to them.. and you're dead to her, Khio. That's the lie that we're all trying to hide in order to protect you."
Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya, is she implying that they lied to them? they lied to her?! And all this time akala ko ay wala na siyang pakialam sa'kin— putangina, how can they do this me?
"I know it sounds crazy, the first time Tita and Tito told me about it made me want to believe that they're insane for planning this but—"
"Fucking leave, Elyzra."
"This is also for your own sake, Khio!"
"My own sake?!" Natawa na lang ako, "Kailan pa ba naging tungkol ito sa'kin?! You fucking lied to our friends, Ely! You fucking lied to the woman I love. Sa tingin mo anong maidudulot nitong lahat sa akin? Do you really expect me to just accept the fact that to them, I'm fucking dead?! It's like you're scrapping off my whole existence!"
"Rather than having you dead your whole life!" Sigaw niya rin sa'kin. "..You were kidnapped, you were tortured, you almost got killed that night! David is dead and Reese is on trial, locked up in some rotten jail. Ano ba sa tingin mo ang mangyayari? Khio, you know the risks you took the moment you threatened Reese with what we have known. Kaya nga ako nagalit sa'yo, and sure it was my fault to judge your relationship with Professor Clemonte, but you know damn right that your life has been endangered since then. And it happened! You. Almost. Got. Killed."
"...What difference does it make, Ely? Kung pinatay niyo na rin naman ako sa kanila."
"I get that you want to be with her.. I do, Khio. But are you really asking me what difference it makes? You're still fucking alive and well! You still have the chance to come back home and live your normal life again, hindi nga lang ngayon!" Singhal niya like she couldn't believe what she was hearing from me. "But if you come back there right now, and Reese finds out that you survived that kill.. babalikan ka niya, at alam nating lahat that she won't stop until she gets her revenge. Her brother is dead, her parents have now surrendered her to the police— not even fighting for her. The drug cartel still has her back, so you would become an easier target for her to kill kahit nasa kulungan siya. Now, do you get it?"
Napakurap nalang ako ng mata at umiwas ng tingin sa kanya. That made sense, pero bakit kailangan ko pang malaman sa kanya at hindi sa mga magulang ko?
"Where are they?"
"They're back in the Philippines, may kailangan daw asikasuhin si Tita sa company niyo. But they'll be back tomorrow."
"Pahiram ng phone mo."
"What? Why?"
"I'll call Solana."
She was stopping me from getting her phone away from her hand. "Khio, stop." She said in a warning tone.
"She needs to know, Ely." I protested as I didn't dare to look at her.
"No, she doesn't. Mapapahamak lang din siya, at alam mo 'yon."
"She's not okay, I know she's not."
"Khio.."
"This will break her... how cruel can you be?"
"Tumigil ka na."
"Did..you even think of how this will affect her? me?!"
"Khio, get a grip of yourself!"
"Just give me the damn phone!"
I heard her puffed when I pushed her away from me, gusto ko lang siyang makita— makausap. Akala ko pagkatapos ng nangyari ay malaya na kaming dalawa, pero bakit mas pinaglalayo pa kami ngayon? Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapahagulgol dahil parang nawawalan na rin ako ng pag-asa.
I want to go back.
I want to be with her again.
"..I'm sorry, Khio.. but you know that this is how it should be. Mahirap alam ko, but this is to ensure your safety. I hope you understand why I can't help you with this one."
"Leave."
"I'll be here until the end of the week.. sabi ng doctor mo, you're showing great progress so you might be discharged in a day or two."
Pinili ko na lang na hindi ito pansinsin at humiga ulit sa kama sabay talikod sa kanya, I don't care anymore.
"Tito and Tita will explain to you everything.. ako muna ang magbabantay sa'yo for the meantime, if you need anything.. just call me."
I heard the door closed and that's when I let out a shaky breath as I hugged my arms tightly. I tried to imagine that she's here with me, but no matter how hard I try, it doesn't soothe me in any way.
I'm sorry, Avi.
For leaving you again.
...
A Year after.
"Signora, cosa le è successo? I tuoi genitori ti stanno cercando da ieri. (Madam, what happened to you? Your parents have been looking all over for you since yesterday.)" I rolled my eyes when my assigned butler welcomed me together with our maids when I got home.
Geez, if it weren't for these bruises ay hindi pa sana ako uuwi. Napaaway ako eh. Those bastards at the club had to test my patience. They were trying to get in my pants. Nakita ba nila ang mga mukha nila? Palapit na sa pagiging Tito ko. Pucha. Kahit siguro straight na babae matatakot pag nilapitan nila.
"Non mi interessa un cazzo. Non è affar tuo chiedermi dove sono stato, Greg. (I don't fucking care. It's not your business to ask where I have been, Greg.)" I said as I wiped the blood in my mouth, I was about to walk upstairs in my room when I heard my Mother calling my name behind me.
"Khione Amora, saan ka galing at bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi? Do you know how worried your father and I are when your bodyguard told us that you left your car at the hotel? We tried to contact you but you're not even answering us! Balak mo ba talaga kaming bigyan ng sakit sa ulo?" There it is again, her constant nagging. Nakakarindi na, if I could just leave edi sana matagal ko ng ginawa, but all of my personal belongings ay hawak nila even the ones I purchased from my own money back when I was still working sa Pilipinas.
Putangina.
Limitado na nga lahat ng galaw ko dito, I can't even have control of my own stuff. May telepono nga pero may tracking device at alam din nilang lahat if I tried to call someone so I couldn't sneak in and try to contact anyone sa pilipinas.
"I'm alive aren't I? No need to overreact." Pabalang 'kong sagot at hindi pa rin siya hinaharap.
"Face me when I'm talking to you."
"Pagod ako. Gusto ko na magpahinga."
"Don't make me say it again."
"Then don't say it. Geez, I'm going to my room—"
It caught me off guard when she pulled my arm as she turned me around to face her. I groaned when I saw her shocked face after seeing me. "Oh my god! What happened to you?"
"Napaaway lang."
"Lang?!"
"What's happening here? Khione, you're back—"
"Your daughter got into a fight, Robert! Look at her face!" My Mom frustratedly complained to him.
He looked at me but he was calm, unlike her. "Did you asked her why it happened?"
"Well she's trouble, for sure she's the one who started it!"
Hindi ko mapigilang tumawa ng maikli. "If I'm trouble then send me back to the Philippines."
"So that's it? You're rebelling because you want to go back? The fight against Reese and her family is still on trial, you're still in danger and it will cause a big scandal if they knew that you were alive—"
"Kaninong kasalanan ba 'yon, mom?" I stopped her, "Was I even included in your decisions? Ayoko ngang umalis kung tutuusin eh. I can defend myself if you're so worried about my safety dahil nasa kulungan naman si Reese. Why can't you just let me decide for myself? bakit kailangan dumaan pa sa inyo lahat? Now, I'm a year dead to them and you expect me to just accept it and continue living the life you wanted for me? Bullshit. I hate you! I hate this place! I hate everything that you're doing to me!"
Marami pa akong gustong sabihin but I was slapped by her, kita ko rin ang sakit sa mga mata niya when she tried to hold down her tears.
"You're being ungrateful.." Bulong niya.
"I was once grateful." Hinawi ko ang buhok na nasa mukha ko dahil sa lakas ng pagkakasampal niya sa'kin kanina. "..When I decided to be on my own and left the house. I was grateful that I'll be living the life that I wanted. Free from being controlled by you. Free from being told on what I should do. And now, I'm back in this situation again. So maybe I really am ungrateful, because it sucks being stuck here with you, mom. Mas gugustuhin ko pa na nasa Pilipinas ako even if my safety is at stake, kesa makasama kayo!"
"Khione, that's enough. Pumunta ka na sa kwarto mo." My dad stepped up, ngayon ay galit na nakatingin ito sa'kin.
"Diyan, diyan ka naman magaling, dad. You never had a voice in this family because you always follow what she has to say. What did I even expect right? Magsama kayo."
Agad akong tumalikod as I harshly wiped my tears and ran upstairs where my room is. Kaagad 'kong isinarado ito ng malakas as I laid on my bed.
I fished out my phone from my pocket and went to stalk her account again, she still hasn't updated anything since the last time we saw each other. I wanted to send her a message, call her if I wanted to but deep down.. I also feel ashamed.
Baka tama nga rin sila.
Even if my death is fake, it would only add to her distress if I've reached out to her.
Hindi ko na alam.
Gusto ko nalang matulog ng mahabang panahon until I finally have the guts to see her again.
...
I wasn't able to leave home after that night. I'm already 23 yet I'm fucking grounded for 'talking back', psh. I can't even express my feelings here.
I'm in the pool area with my feet dipped on the water. Gabi na rin dito sa Italy and I decided to be alone here instead dahil buong araw lang naman akong nagkulong sa kwarto ko.
"Hey, champ." I looked over to see who called me that and saw my Dad. "Here's your keys. I convinced your mother to not ground you anymore."
Kaagad ko namang sinalo nang tinapon niya sa'kin ang susi ng sasakyan ko. "That's a first."
Nagulat naman ako nang tumabi rin ito sa'kin at nilublob din ang paanan niya sa tubig. Not gonna lie, I'm more closer to him than my mother. But it's just, I hated how he never really stood up for me. Whatever she says, he follows. Kaya pakiramdam ko wala akong kakampi eh. Kung may kapatid lang sana ako, diba? Being an only child sucks.
"I'm sorry." He started, "..For being an absent Father."
Hindi naman ako sumagot at nilalaro nalang ang tubig gamit ang paa ko.
"I've always used my job as an excuse.. so I could escape your Mom's nagging." I couldn't help but to laugh at the last one.
"So you decided that I'll be the one who's receiving it all?"
"I was kidding." He chuckled, "My work needed me, it was all I wanted. Achieving my dreams, researching and studying human remains almost thousands of years ago. You know, your Mother hated that about me."
"Dahil lagi 'kang wala?"
"Aside from that."
"Because you decided to.. do what you wanted?" He nodded which made me frown. "She knows what she was on to the moment you two got married."
"Kaya nga, but she still married me anyway. Your Mother and I aren't the perfect couple everyone ought to be. Your Grandmother didn't even like me the first time she met me dahil mas gusto niya ang katulad nila. Those who are in the corporate world." Mas lalo naman nangunot ang noo ko, why the hell is he telling me their story now? "..Do you even wonder where you got your talent in Artistry? Definitely not me, the only thing I can draw is a stickman."
"Dad." I rolled my eyes. "Are you saying that you guys adopted me then?"
"Your Mom used to love painting."
"What?"
"Surprising isn't it?" ...Well, it is indeed a surprise. My Mom? Who hated me for pursuing arts, used to love painting?
"You're joking."
"I'm serious, anak." My Dad has never lied to me before, kaya alam ko na totoo talaga ang sinasabi niya. Pero ang hirap naman paniwalaan 'yon.
"But she had no choice but to bury that passion deep within her heart dahil mas pinili niyang maging responsableng anak ng Mamita mo. Her sisters had their own dreams to pursue, your Tita Jen wanted to be a remarkable Architect in the US, while your Tita Janet wanted to be a Doctor. She felt like pursuing Arts is nothing compared to the dreams her sisters have. And as the older one, she stepped up to be the successor of Avila Group of Companies." Mahabang kwento niya sa'kin.
Kaya pala.
She sacrificed her dreams so her sisters could reach theirs.
"Then bakit niya pinagkakait sa'kin 'yon kung nagawa niya ngang magsakripisyo para sa mga kapatid niya?" I was upset, because knowing this now.. dapat alam niya din ang nararamdaman ko noon.
"..The company is only passed on to Generations, Khione. Nag-iisa ka lang na anak ng Mama mo. You were a miracle to us as she failed many times in bearing more children. Until you came.."
"That's so unfair."
"I know." It was her voice.
My mother.
She was behind us all this time, but I couldn't even look at her. I'm still mad at her. Lalo na sa nalaman ko. Tulad ng ginawa ni Dad kanina ay tinabihan niya rin ako and did what we did with our feet. Ngayon nasa gitna na nila ako.
"I have been unfair.. selfish.. cruel." Rinig ko ang pag buntong hininga niya. "I didn't agree with how your Grandmother and my ancestors have pressured their children to take over the company to continue being the number one in the industry. I always told myself na hindi ko gagayahin ang ginawa niya sa'kin dati. But when you came out.. God, Khio. You're almost a replica of me."
Tumingin na ako sa kanya and she was already looking at me, with affection in her eyes. "Your Father and I have talked about supporting you in everything that you do. You don't know how much happiness you've brought to us when we saw you cry, walk, talk, eat and do something for the first time. But what I didn't expect is seeing how much you loved the Arts, how creative your mind is, and how determined you are when you want something."
"What changed that, Mom?" I couldn't help but to ask. Hindi ko naman inaasahan na magkakaroon ako ng ganitong usapan kasama sila.
"..When you start deciding things on your own." She smiled sadly, "You were our only child, Khione. When you told me that someday you might be a painter, or a sculptor.. that made me realize that I might lose my child, if I continue supporting you. Because you were stubborn— like your Dad."
"Him?" I chuckled, "Really?"
"You believed that he only followed me? You're wrong about that, every time you've created trouble. He's the one defending you para hindi kita mapapagalitan. Ilang beses na ba kaming nag-away when you were still a child? He's soft hearted but knows what he wants."
"You loved me for it, honey." He winked at her as she giggled softly.
God, I didn't sign up for this. "So you decided that by forcing me to take the same path as you.."
"That I'll get to keep you that way. I could still be needed by you. I'm always your Mother, Khione. I'll protect you in any possible ways I know. Hence, I'm not even afraid of making big decisions if it will ensure your safety."
"That's selfish." I uttered as I scoffed at her. "Well, you lost me either way, Mom. The difference is, I wouldn't have to hate you if you decided to support me. Ouch!"
Kinutusan ba naman ako?!
"This is the first time I've opened up and you're still mad at me?"
"How can't I?" I raised a brow at her, "You didn't even apologized."
"It made me wonder if a combination of me and you was even a good idea, hon." Singit naman ni Dad which earned a glare from my Mom.
"Will you forgive me if I apologized then?"
"No." I glanced at her, "Unless you let me go home... to be with the person I love. To do my own thing. To trust me that I'll be fine on my own."
Was that bold thing to ask? Tahimik lang silang dalawa as if they are speaking through each other's minds. But I patiently waited.
"Before I became you Mother, I have always been a businesswoman." Tumikhim muna ito, "Let's make a deal."
"Ugh.. what now." I groaned in annoyance.
"You can only come home to the Philippines, if you go back to studying. Finish your Arts Degree, make a name in the Art industry if you want to.. as Italy is a home of Artists like you. I'm giving you that kind of Freedom now."
"There's a but, isn't it?"
"Yes." She nods her head twice, "I'm going to continue training you in taking over the company."
"Mom.."
"You have no choice but to agree, Khione. You're going to be the CEO of the company once you've graduated from Fine Arts and after your training. And after that.. I'll let you go completely. You can make your own decisions and I won't interfere anymore. Think of it as an investment to yourself before you meet her again."
Napaisip naman ako sa sinabi niya.
..A part of me doesn't like the part where she told me that I'll be taking over the company, but now that I've thought about it. Maybe it's a good thing.
I wanted to be the better version of myself once I finally saw her again. Not the Khione that always doubted herself because I couldn't even protect her from everyone.
"Fine.. we have a deal."
I just hope that by the time we meet again... I still have her heart.
Please wait for me.. Avi.
...
5 Years later.
How long has it been?
Ah.. five years since I've taken up that offer.
I decided to take on a double major in Fine Arts and Business Management, and I worked hard to excel in both subjects. I attended classes every day, worked on projects, studied hard, and always gave my best effort. I don't know what drove me to do that kind of thing, maybe my determination?
Hindi ko lang siguro matanggap na basta-basta na lang ibibigay sa'kin ang kumpanya as a year of training to be a CEO doesn't seemed like I'll be a trustworthy leader. Marami pa akong kailangan patunayan, especially with the Board of Directors and Shareholders of the company.
I'm proud to say that my hard work paid off. I graduated top of my class and earned my degree. But even though I was already occupied with my studies, I still gave my energy to my art. I started to create sculptures and began to make a name for myself in the art industry as a rookie. I was dedicated and worked hard to perfect my craft, and I quickly gained recognition for my work.
My sculptures started to gain recognition, and I was invited to exhibit my work in various art galleries. I was also invited to speak at art conferences and universities to give lectures about the importance of art and creativity, and how I was able to manage everything within a period of time.
I made my parents proud, hindi ko pa rin makakalimutan ang mukha nilang dalawa as I stood up in that stage.
A year after that.. I started training for the company while still doing sculptures in my free time. Minsan nga ay kailangan pa akong kunin ni Mom dahil makaligtaan ko minsan na hindi siputin ang training namin everyday.
"Khione!" My head turned towards a certain someone and I saw Tita Jen rushing to hug me. "Oh my, look how much you've grown!"
"Welcome to Italy, Tita Jen." I said, chuckling slightly. "Nagkita na po ba kayo ni Mom? She told me you'll be having tea with her this afternoon."
"I told her I'll be running late as I wanted to see you." She smiled proudly. "You're already working in one of the powerhouses of Avila Group of Companies here in Italy. I'm so proud of you, Khione."
She cupped both my face shortly. "When's your flight back to the Philippines? Handa ka na bang makita at harapin silang lahat?"
"By the end of this month po. And I'm a little nervous about the last part. Para akong naresurrect ulit eh."
"That's the exciting part."
"Kung hindi lang nila ako patayin ng tuluyan." I joked which made her laugh.
"Alright, I'll see you this evening for dinner. Your Mother is already pestering me with her messages."
I waved goodbye at her as she left my office, habang ako naman ay tinawagan si Elyzra. And yes, we made up. When she came back to visit me again, she told me what happened with Solana.
When she.. tried to take her life away.
Hearing that as she was the one to witness how it happened— I lived in constant fear for years that I've been here in Italy. I made her promise me na bantayan at alagaan si Solana until I finally have the guts to meet her.
Gustong-gusto ko na bumalik at magpakita sa kanya 'nung mga panahong 'yon, I wanted to be with her but I made a deal. I can't just break it dahil hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na mag-alala sa kanya.
Even if it was breaking me apart as well.
Nagsabay-sabay lahat eh, the situation that happened to her— my studies are becoming harder as I have to juggle my time in between two majors. I felt like just being with her, everything will be okay.
But I had to wake up in reality. If I let that happen, lahat ng pinaghirapan ko ay mawawala lang kaagad. And I don't want to face her as a failure.
"Couz. You called, why?"
"Kamusta siya?"
"She's doing well, Khio. Still busy with her preparation for her Art Gallery and Theater Play." I smiled at what she said, I'm glad to hear that she's finally doing the things she had wanted to do back then. "Will you be able to attend her play, next month?"
"Of course." Batid ko naman. "I wouldn't miss that last chance, malapit na rin ako umuwi. You better help me in hiding for a month, Ely."
"You know it's hard to do that, right? But do I even have a choice?"
"Kasalanan niyo naman kung bakit—"
"Oo na, hindi ka pa nakaka move on? You'll be alive in a month again, prepare your whole ass speech explaining to her on why you suddenly came back from the dead after six years."
I couldn't help but to scoff at her, meeting her is easy.. explaining what happened for the last six years is the hard part. "Sige na, may trabaho pa ako dito. See you when I'm finally back in the Philippines, Ely."
With that, I ended the call at napaupo na lang sa swivel chair ng opisina ko.
It's finally happening.
I'm coming home.
...
"It's my fucking death anniversary?"
"The others told me they'll be visiting your grave this afternoon, si ate Solana naman hindi ko rin macontact. Don't worry, I'll update you if she finally answers my calls." Kinuha niya ang bag na nasa table and walked towards the door. "See you later."
I just nodded at her before she left her house, while I'm stuck here with nothing to do.
Death Anniversary.
...Which reminds me— David's death was the night of the incident. A few days before my 'so-called-death.' Alam ko na hindi ako nagpaalam kay Ely, but I just can't stand to be kept inside here.
I also want to pay respect.. kahit naman hindi ko siya kailanman ginusto as he was Solana's ex-husband, it would be wrong for me to ignore the fact that he saved Solana and my life as well.
Kaagad na akong gumayak and wore my disguise, so no one would be able to recognize me.
I rode my new Bugatti baby na kakabili ko lang pagkatapos 'kong dumating sa Pilipinas. Elyzra wouldn't want me to borrow one of her cars dahil baka daw ma-eskandalo pa ako dito at pangalan niya ang madadawit.
Ang galing talaga, porket may sarili ng kumpanya ay pinagkakait na talaga ang 'cousin privileges' ko. But that's fine.
For six years, she has been my eye here in the Philippines. May sariling taga-balita ako sa mga nangyayari dito, which makes me feel like I'm still with them. Sobrang saya ko dahil sa dinami-dami ng nagbago sa kanilang lahat, ay nanatili naman ang samahan nila.
Ely told me that the five of them got closer, medyo dehado nga siguro ako sa part na 'yon, at mukhang pagbalik ko ay malaking pagbabago rin ang mangyayari. I actually miss Maevis, she was my best friend, the one that has always been clingy and a softie, quite opposite on the impression she gave me during the first time we met. I may have not been close with the rest, but I know that they were good people. Even Astrea na hindi ko kaagad nakaaganan ng loob because of my situation with Ms. Vivien.
I just hope— hindi sila magalit sa'kin.
I arrived at the Cemetery in just a few minutes at bago ako bumaba ay inayos ko muna ang mask sa mukha, at ang cap na isinuot ko sa ulo. Buti na lang at walang tao dito lalo na at umaga pa lang naman.
Hinanap ko kaagad kung saan ang puntod niya and when I finally saw his picture with his name on it ay naglalakad na ako patungo roon.
R.I.P
David Hendricks
1997-2023
Tignan mo 'yon. Natatalo pala ang masamang damo.
I chuckled at that thought, ang gago ko ba? Wala eh. Maybe that's how I cope up with losing someone I don't have any connections with. Ang tanging tali na kumukonekta sa amin ay ang pagiging asawa niya ni Solana, habang ako nama'y kabit.
Pero mukhang ako ang nagwagi.
"Hey.. uh. This is awkward." I couldn't help but laugh lightly. "Akala mo siguro makikipag bugbugan ako sa'yo diyan sa purgatoryo."
I placed down a stem of calla lily on his tombstone. "Hinugot ko lang 'yan noong pagpasok ko, pasensya na. I wasn't able to buy one. Pero symbol of death naman 'yan, appreciate mo na lang."
I hid my hands inside my coat's pocket as I stood there in silence.
"Thank you." It was genuine this time. "For helping me.. and Solana. Not only once but thrice."
David.. was the one who gave us a lead about the drug cartel that Reese was handling back in Mexico. He was the source that told the private investigator we hired, about her illegal transactions as well as her cover up name.
When it was finally handed to the NBI, kaagad naman nila itong inaksyunan at ipinasa sa mga pulisya sa Mexico. It helped greatly in tracking down the big names of the Cartel— including Reese.
I don't know why he did it.
But I guess.. it was a way for him to save Solana from his sister's hands.
"You were brave to do that for her." I smiled, "..Thank you and Sorry that you had to sacrifice your life. You deserved better."
Remembering that scene six years ago still pisses me off. How the police poorly handled what happened that night. Things could have been different if they were also quick and efficient to take one person down.
But it already happened.
We can't turn back time now.
I'm just glad that I'm finally back here again, this time— babawi ako kay Solana at sa lahat ng naiwan ko dito sa Pilipinas.
"I just dropped by to thank you. Pero kailangan ko na din umalis, 'di bale.. kung nasa mood na ako, bibisita ako ulit."
I was kind of curious on what my grave would look like to be honest, it's my 'death anniversary' daw kaya naman umalis na rin ako sa sementeryo as I'm on my way to the cemetary where my supposed-to-be ashes were buried.
Pagdating ko doon ay dumiretso na agad ako sa Musuleo that my Parents built, my picture wasn't there but seeing my name on the tombstone made me feel goosebumps all over my body.
They've been mourning for me just by looking at this?
It was cold.. cruel.. and heartless.
I lowered my head as I was speechless just by imagining them crying over me, thinking that I was gone.. when the whole time, I was in Italy.
"I'll have this destroyed once I'm finally back in their lives." I muttered under my breath.
As I was about to leave dahil parang hindi ko na kaya ang bigat na nararamdaman ko, I felt my phone ringing inside my coat which I immediately picked out and answered the call.
"Looks like she's coming over to visit your grave, she hasn't been there once, even in the funeral." Tila nanlamig naman ako sa sinabi ni Elyzra.
What the hell?!
"Maybe that's the reason why she hasn't been answering my calls, she's probably preparing herself when she'll come face to face with your grave." Elyzra kept on talking but I was silenced, hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko. "Why aren't you responding?"
"Shit. Ely."
"What? Why 'shit, ely?' What is happening—"
"I see her."
There she is, dressed in her plain white dress, holding on to the flowers as she walks slowly. Her face hardened as she looked around the place.
"What?! Are you at the cemetery?! Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to tell you to keep a low profile—"
"I-I have to go.. I'll talk to you later." I ended the call as I swallowed the lump in my throat that felt like it had been there for ages.
As I watched her cautiously enter the cemetery gates, I felt a mix of emotions overtake me. It had been six long years since I had seen her, and I was overcome with a mixture of love, joy, and guilt.
Ang ganda pa rin niya.
Wala na yatang nakakapagpabago pa doon, I miss staring at those hazel-brown eyes of hers that hold thousands of emotions inside her. Her smile— even if it was sad, tells me the stories I have missed.
I had had to keep up the lie for all these years, not being able to tell her the truth or even tell her that I was still alive. It had been agonizing, but I had done it for her. Now, here she was, walking through the cemetery, and I felt my heart swell with love. I wanted nothing more than to run to her, to hug her and tell her the truth, but I knew that I couldn't.
Not yet.
She had no idea that I was still alive, and I couldn't risk her finding out before I was ready. So, instead of running to her, I hid behind a big tree that was a little close to the mausoleo and prayed that she hadn't seen me. As I watched her cry and weep for my death.
"Ang daya mo din." She was chuckling when she said that, ramdam ko pa din ang hinanakit niya kahit pilit niyang pinapagaan ang nararamdaman niya. "Or maybe I was the fool for believing you when you told me that you won't leave me again, or that you'd stay alive if I was as well. You promised me, Amora.. you promised that we'd build a family together, you promised that you'll take care of me until we grow old. But the only one who's aging is me."
Avi..
Tutuparin ko lahat ng 'yon.
I'm here now.
"You're listening, aren't you? You better be. I hate it when people don't listen to me, you know that right? I almost hated you when you didn't listen to me last time." I couldn't help but to smile sadly, it feels like my heart is pierced everytime she utters a word about us. "I wish you were still here with me. I know you can't be, but I wanted to tell you everything that's been going on. Because I wasn't able to do that for the last six years."
I tried to stop my tears from falling out of my eyes, but I couldn't. How does one able to endure six years of believing that the person they love was dead? This is by far the worst of what I had expected. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsisimula, kung paano ko paplanuhin na magpakita sa kanya— when I couldn't even stand seeing her being in pain all these years.. because of me.
She started telling me what happened for the last six years. Not knowing that I have been watching over her.
I know.. Avi.
I know how much you've suffered.
And I'm sorry.. dahil wala akong nagawa. I couldn't imagine what goes through your mind and your heart whenever you're alone. You didn't deserve to feel that way.
I don't think I could bear to hear anymore from her.
As I was about to walk away para sana iwan na ito, natigilan naman ako nang marinig ko ang mga katagang sinabi niya.
"It's still you." My heart was beating loudly. "It will always be you, Amora."
Ano ba ang nararamdaman ko ngayon? Madami eh. But when I heard her utter those words— I felt a sense of relief after knowing that even after all these years..
I still hold her heart, as she holds mine.
Babawi ako, Avi.. just wait a little longer for me.. Please.
I watched her walk away, my heart aching with how she was so near yet still so far. I wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth, but I had to bide my time. Until then, I would remain hidden, watching her from a distance and waiting for the right moment to reveal myself.
I'll make sure that in this lifetime, things will be better for us, Avi.
***
Day of the Play.
"What do you think? Sa tingin mo ba magugustuhan niya 'to?" I asked Ely after I showed her the final product of the flower box I ordered days ago for Solana. My brows furrowed when I saw her not even paying attention to me. "Ely!"
Her legs were crossed as she stared intently at the flowers in front of her before averting her gaze at me. "Why do you have to be so worried? As if she'll know that it's from you."
I rolled my eyes at her as I told the maid to pack it again perfectly, I strictly instructed her to be careful with it as I'll have it delivered in her dressing room tonight. Hindi pwedeng sira-sira iyon pagdating do'n.
"You can't be serious."
"I'm just saying. And look.. she won't even think that it came from you. Unless.." She glared at me, "Did you leave a hint that it could be from you?"
"Of course not!" I defended myself while shaking my head relentlessly before stopping. "..But I did say that I'm proud of her."
"God!" She exclaimed and threw the magazine she was holding on for quite some time on the sofa, "Really? You almost got caught back at the cemetery and now, you're leaving suspicious notes."
"I'm showing myself to her eventually."
"Yeah, and when will that be, Khio?" She eyed me. "Pag pumuti na ang uwak? You know you can't just appear in front of her whenever you want to. I've been asking what plans you have but you always avoid it. It's risky to just act impulsively, you know that."
Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin dahil taman naman siya. But not because I'm not ready, ayoko naman na guluhin ito while she was still preparing for two of the most important highlights in her life.
"You reserved a seat for me, didn't you?" I redirected the topic, "Ikaw na bahala na magpadala ng flowers, make sure she doesn't get suspicious on who it came from. Send it like the others do."
She sighed deeply before I saw her nodding her head as I left her house with my disguise still on.
...
As I watched her from the shadows, I felt a sense of proudness I had never felt before. She was back in performing in a theater stage and was the main lead— like she always is. I remembered our conversations about her dreams from before, and here she was, finally living them.
I wanted to go to her and tell her how proud I was, but I wouldn't want to take this moment away from her. As I continue watching her perform, I was hoping that she could feel my presence. Kahit sa ganitong paraan, masaya pa rin ako na nakikita ko siyang nakangiti.
The emotions I felt were indescribable. I was happy that Solana was achieving something she had been dreaming about, but I was also sad that I couldn't be there to give her the support she deserved. But I was also proud.
Proud of the strength and courage she had to pursue her dreams and make them come true.
Even if it's without me.
The play went on and I couldn't take my eyes away from her. I was so impressed by her performance and her unwavering determination. I could feel her joy and her passion, it filled my heart with happiness and admiration. She had always been amazing at everything she does, but seeing her acting on a stage was my first time to witness how talented she is.
As the play ended, I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. All the years of hiding had been worth it. She was the brightest sun this stage could ever have.
Kahit kailan hindi pa rin mawala ang kilig at pagmamahal na nadarama ko sa kanya whenever I see her even after all these years, kung tutuusin nga ay mas lalo akong nahuhulog sa kanya. I knew that no matter what would happen, I would always be there for her and love her.
Matapos ang play niya ay kaagad na rin akong umalis ng patago as it would be risky for me to stay.. kahit gustong gusto ko pa siya makita ng matagalan. Her friends are here and so as mine, I wouldn't want to ruin their night by accidentally seeing me.
***
Today, Avion Galleriá has opened. She looks beautiful and proud as she takes in the crowd; complimenting and admiring her works, and my heart aches to be by her side. I long for her to see me again, but I know I must stay hidden until the time is right.
I watch from the shadows, not daring to make myself known. My longing to be with her is almost unbearable, and yet I know that soon she will be safe and free to love me once more. I can only hope that when the time comes, she will be able to forgive me for my deception and for the years of loneliness that I have caused her.
Wala naman akong balak magpakita sa ngayon.
I wanted her to savor this day as she has prepared for this for long enough.
Ely eyed me through the crowd, giving me a warning not to stay to close or be suspicious around the people we've known. But despite her warning glares, I couldn't help but to wander and follow her around.
Her radiating smile was there but her eyes told me that it wasn't the happiness she's feeling.
Malungkot ang mga mata niya.
I saw her talking to some of her guests for a short moment as she excused herself before walking away. Her steps heavy as she examined all of her works. Hindi ko rin mapigilan na mamangha dahil ang iba nito ay nakita ko na noong pumunta ako sa studio niya.
She really made it.
Her works, may it be her paintings and sculptures are on display. Admired by many, and loved by one.
Of course, that's me.
But what surprised me is seeing my painting being displayed on one corner.
My name is engraved on the name plate below the framed painting. I felt like my breath stopped as she stood in front of my piece.
Memories of us together in Barcelona were flashing on my mind. Para ngang na-manifest ko pa yung painting ko that time because the night I won the AAIC.. was the moment the painting came into a reality.
The Kiss
Khione Amora Avila
2022
I don't know what took over me as I slowly found myself walking towards where she is.. only a few steps behind her.
She was staring at it for a long time.
The way Solana loves was so strong that even in her own gallery, she displayed my work like a masterpiece, ensuring that our connection would never be forgotten.
How can I not make myself known.. if this person is still waiting for me?
Even if it seems impossible.
I removed the mask that was covering my face as I exhaled deeply.
"Hai fatto un ottimo lavoro." Those words just came out naturally despite the tense and fear that I'm feeling. I saw her being frozen in her spot when she heard me. "I said..You did a very good job, Professor Clemonte."
When she saw me standing before her, I could see the surprise and shock in her eyes.
In that moment, she felt like she had seen a ghost. I could tell she didn't know how to react. On one hand, she wanted to come closer to me because of the joyous emotion of seeing me again. On the other, it was as if I had come back from the dead, and she wasn't sure how to handle it. I could see the frozen look in her eyes.
I smiled at her, hoping that she would run and hug me as I have been longing for her touch.
"Nice to see you again.. Avi."
I ached to console her, to touch her, but I was fearful of her reaction. As I stood there, feeling the kind of uncertainty I hadn't felt in years, I saw the pain on her face. Betrayal. Anger. Curiosity. There were so many emotions, and I understood them all.
The longer I stood there, the more tense the situation became. The look on her face and her silence spoke volumes.
It was a good thing that we were away from the rest, I don't want any unwanted attention. I never planned to show up right at this moment.
I only wanted her to see and hear me again.
"Avi, it's me—"
I wasn't able to finish what I was about to say when she slapped me in the face. Damn, I didn't know she could even slap this hard. Parang bumalik ata ako sa Italy in an instant.
"..W-who are you.. and why do you have Amora's face?!"
Well.
Not the kind of reaction I was expecting.
Natawa na lang ako sa paratang niya. "What?"
"N-no.. this isn't real. Solana, you're daydreaming." She was whispering to herself while I watched her in amusement, nakahawak lang ako sa panga dahil hanggang ngayon ay ramdam ko pa din ang sakit sa pagkakasampal niya kanina. "I need to leave.."
"Wait.. Avi."
Hindi niya man lang ako pinakinggan as she ran off towards the back.
I wouldn't let her leave thinking that I'm just an illusion kaya agad rin akong kumaripas ng takbo at sinundan ito sa may exit, I saw her entering her car and without second thoughts ay pumasok rin ako sa passenger's seat as I almost got dragged on the road dahil bigla nalang niyang ini-start ang sasakyan when I opened it.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!"
"Avi—"
"Don't call me that!"
"Geez, woman! Drive slowly!" Napakapit pa nga ako sa grab handle when she almost ran someone on the street. "Avi, calm down!"
"How can I calm down when a ghost is here?!"
Oh God, hindi talaga ito ang inaasahan 'kong reaksyon niya.
"We'd both become ghosts if you won't stop the car! Mababangga tayo sa pagmamaneho mo!" I don't think she'd even stop dahil hindi niya pa rin ako pinapakinggan. I close my eyes as I yelled, "I'm real, hindi ako multo! I'm perfectly well and healthy! All these years I was alive—"
I kept on spouting words that I was practicing for weeks just to make her stop. And when she did, I almost got thrown out of the car as she stepped on the brakes abruptly.
Nakahinga na rin ako sa wakas when I saw that we stopped on the side of the road and there was a shore across us, there were no people around and only few cars were passing through.
I turned to look at her, tears brimmed on her face when she realized what I just said. "..Fuck you."
That's all she said at bumaba kaagad ng sasakyan, she crossed the road and ran towards the beach.
"What a grand entrance, Khio." I muttered to myself with disappointment and followed her steps.
The sound of waves crashing against the shore of the beach I was standing on fills the air. It's nighttime and a full moon shines brightly above. I missed going to the beach, it was one of our favorite past times back then. I vividly remember the first time I've been with her on the beach after that dinner with Ms. Vivien.
Panahong talo pa ni Solana ang sinigang mix.
I took a deep breath as I finally saw a glimpse of her back facing me. I saw her shoulders moved, indicating that she was crying.
"Avi.." I gently called her name again.
Akala ko ay hindi niya na ako papansinin, thinking that she's mad and felt betrayed by my sudden appearance.
I mean who wouldn't?
Even if faking my death wasn't my own decision.. it still seemed like I had fooled her.
Her emotions upon seeing and knowing the truth were all valid.
She slowly turned around and I was right.. umiiyak nga siya, she was hugging herself as the cold wind blows on us.
She was wearing a long white dress that hugged her curves and her back exposed. Kaagad ko namang inalis ang ang coat na suot ko as I slowly walked towards her.
Her eyes never left mine, following every movement like I might disappear again if she takes her eyes off me. I gently covered her upper body with my coat as I rubbed the sides of her arms, trying to warm her up.
It was a good thing that I wore a thick sweatshirt inside.
A wave of emotions overcomes me. When I looked at her closely she looks different after all these years but her eyes remain the same. My heart is racing and I'm suddenly overcome with an overwhelming feeling of insecurity. I don't know how she's going to react.
She's clearly in disbelief. For a moment, neither of us can find the words to say.
"Is it really you?" Her breath shuddered, and I don't know if it's from the cold or from the way she has finally faced the reality that I'm standing in front of her.
"It's me. I'm alive."
She immediately takes a step forward and I can feel my heart beating faster. Her eyes were swelled in red as she couldn't stop her tears from flowing. My hand reached out to wipe it instead.
God.. she is so beautiful.
Her tears were like diamonds as they shone brightly among the stars.
She gasped when she finally felt my touch. "It's been six years since I last saw you. I thought you were dead..."
For a moment, my own emotions caught me by surprise. I fight back the urge to cry along with her and focus on what I've come here to do.
"I'm sorry.." I took a deep sigh, "It took me long enough to come back to you. I'm sorry.. for making you think that I'm dead."
She looks away in disbelief, trying to process it all.
"You had your reasons, right?" She asked softly. "But why didn't you tell me? Why.. did you show up now?"
I know she has a lot of questions wandering on her mind, and I'm willing to answer all of them. Ayoko naman na biglain siya sa lahat. I want to take it slow.. knowing how overwhelmed she is in front of me.
"I wanted to. More than anything. But I was scared that if I did, you wouldn't want me anymore. Gusto ko pag magkita tayo ulit.. I'm already worthy for you. That I am able to protect you from anything and from anyone. Marami pa akong gustong ipaliwanag, and if you just give me the chance to explain everything.. babawi ako sa lahat ng naging pagkukulang ko, Avi."
She takes my hand and I feel like the world around us stops. We stand there in silence, looking into each other's eyes.
She moves closer to me and I can sense the love radiating from her.
"You know that I would never give up on you.. I never did. Even if it was impossible, deep inside I was hoping— that you would come back."
"I'm here now.. aren't I?" I bit my lower lip, trying to stop myself from crying. But when I saw her burst into tears, I couldn't help but to cry with her. "And I'll never leave you again. Tutuparin ko lahat ng mga pangako ko, you will never be alone again—"
"Amora.."
Fuck.. I have never felt this intense feeling for so long just by hearing her utter my name.
"Shut up.. and just kiss me."
I let my fingers brush her cheeks, wiping her tears away gently as I kissed her deeply like it was the first time all over again.
"You're still wearing it." I said in between our kiss when my hand ran through the necklace she was wearing. She smiled against my lips, before grabbing my neck to deepen our kiss.
Every inch of my body felt alive, her presence electrifying all my senses. Nothing mattered but us in this moment, and I wanted to hold her forever. I kissed her fiercely as if to make the years apart disappear, eager for the chance to love her all over again.
I could feel my heart breaking. I never wanted this moment to end, and when it did, I held her hand in mine, ready for what the future held and never wanting to let go again.
"You told me that wearing this means you'll come back no matter what, right?" She showed me the initial. "I kept all my promises, Amora.. now it's your turn."
Nginitian ko lang siya at tumango ng marahan, I pulled her closer by the waist, as I was about to kiss her again but she immediately pushed my head away.
"Avi?"
"..You should marry me, you dimwit." She chuckled but I know it was out of relief. "I fucking waited for six years for you to come back. I'm not going to let you go again— ako na mismo ang papatay sa'yo ng tuluyan if you make me wait again."
Tila natakot naman ako sa huling sinabi niya. "Ayaw mo bang pakinggan muna kung anong nangyari—"
She pulled away from my embrace and glared at me. "All this time, I thought I was the only one aging. At this point, I should be having kids already!"
"S-sabi ko nga. Papakasalan naman talaga kita, gusto mo bukas agad—"
"Alright. Tomorrow. You will marry me. Then you explain."
"H-ha.."
"I'm not fond of talks anymore, Avila." She said before wiping her tears. "If you came back here without the intention of marrying me, I swear to God— I'm going to kill you myself."
Shuta, siya nga.. siya nga si Avi.
Always the bossy and demanding one.
"..You'll marry me.. and I'll marry you. That's a plan." I stated before finally leaning in close as I captured her lips again. "This makes me your legal wife and not your mistress anymore right?"
"Seriously?" She smiled as she nibbled my lower lip, "Yes."
I immediately carried her in bridal style in my arms as she was laughing like the sunshine that she is while I was circling us around.
"I'll gladly be your wife then."