I was in that weird state where you're half awake and half asleep. Not exactly sure what is real and what isn't. Not sure what time it is, where you are and when you fell asleep. All I knew is I was beyond comfortable. More comfortable than I'd ever been in my whole life. The mattress below me was hot and hard, beating. Wait.
Shit.
No. No. No. No. No. No.
I tried to sit up but the hand around my back pressed into me, keeping me still as I panicked.
"Slow down Pops. You're okay." I couldn't move. Alex's words speaking into my hair. I wasn't supposed to fall asleep. I just shut my eyes for a second. Shit. How long had I been asleep? "Breathe. It's just me." I stopped, calming down as he moved the laptop off his lap and onto the floor, moving down until he could hold my face just a few inches from mine. "See. Just me." I closed my eyes as he laid down, not letting go of my face but settling me down beside him. "That's it, nice an easy Pops."
"You shouldn't-"
"I shouldn't be here. I know. You've told me that before. I'm still here though."
"You're going to get yourself killed. You need-"
"Why would I get myself killed Poppy?" He stared into my eyes a little deeper. I knew how blue his eyes were, they'd been haunting me all week, every time I closed my eyes, every time I looked at him. This baby blue was the only thing I saw. Like staring at a cloudless early afternoon sky in June. The perfect shade of blue that somehow made me feel insanely secure. "Poppy? Darling?"
"Sorry. I- uh- nightmare." I broke the contact for a second, looking away and settling down into the pillow.
"You're a terrible liar."
"I'm not lying." He raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Pops. I get if you don't want to tell me but you are lying. You've got 3 locks on your door. You don't tell anyone anything about yourself, you won't let me ring your buzzer, I can't talk to you or about this outside of your place. I wanted to take you out today but I have a feeling you're going to tell me there's not a chance I'm allowed to go anywhere outside this flat with you, not even my place. You go by Penny by everyone else and I'm not even allowed to use Poppy around other people, you dye your hair, go to the gym at stupid o'clock, use an alias at your other job. And then you wake up from a nap and tell me I'm going to get myself killed. You're hiding from something."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are Poppy." He scooched closer. "I was looking around for some work document you sent me last week on your laptop. You look good as a red head." Uh oh. "Like, really good. You're stunning as a blonde, don't get me wrong. But ginger? And some of the outfits you wore?"
"You shouldn't have been snooping."
"I know, I was just looking for that report."
"You could have waited." I tried to pull out of his hands but he held me tighter, moving down and kissing me until my head was spinning and I had forgotten why I was mad. He didn't even try to make a move. Just his lips moving on mine and my breathing on pause.
"Who are you running from Poppy?" He pulled back, speaking his words and kissing me harder before pulling back.
"No one." He did it again, kissing me until I couldn't breathe before pulling back, leaving me gasping for air.
"I can keep going baby. Just tell me."
"No." I shook my head.
"Fine. I'll put more on the line Poppy." He flipped me onto my back, thighs on either side of me, his hands still holding my face as he kissed me again, teeth tugging on my lip until I arched my back, my breath covering his face. "Who are you running from?"
"No one." Again, this time, turning my head as he started gently kissing my neck like he had done on Monday afternoon. It took a mere 3 seconds for the space between my legs to get heavy.
"Poppy." I closed my eyes. "You know you're safe with me right?" His tongue ran over my skin, all the way up to my ear. "I'm not going to let whoever it is hurt you."
"You can't stop them Alex." I whimpered, his thumb padding across my cheek as he continued to tease.
"Who are they baby?"
"Alex-"
"Did they threaten you?" I shook my head. "So why are you running?"
"They're dangerous." He stopped, lifting his head until his blue eyes were all that I can see.
"How dangerous?" I squeezed my eyes tight, a handful of tears dropping from my eye. "You're safe with me Poppy. I won't let them hurt you okay? Tell me what happened. Do you owe them money?" I shook my head and Alex climbed off me, sitting his back up against the wall on the far side of my bed, pulling me into his lap and holding me as I cried silently, shoulders shaking as I held back the sobs. "You're okay Poppy. It's okay, you're okay. I'm here. You're safe. Let it out darling."
He held me, tight in his arms, whispering comforting words in my ear. The hand that wasn't cradling me was gently rubbing my arm, my leg or running down my hair. Anything he could to try and ease 4 years' worth of emotions I didn't even know I was holding in.
I wasn't sure how to feel about the things Alex was uncovering of me. He seemed to be able to work it out, completely on his own accord too. The photos he mentioned were buried deep in my laptop, not on the home screen. They were in a file, in a file, in a file, in a file, in a file, in a file. And each file was filled with dud documents that looked real from the outside. I didn't want to delete them. I felt like those photos were all I had left of my life before here and I could understand why he would now have more questions. Whilst the photos weren't incriminating, they show me wearing excessively expensive brands, living the high life, spending money on things I didn't even want. And now I was living in a tiny 1-bedroom flat in a block filled with drug dealers and addicts which was such a contrast.
Me telling him wasn't an option. He didn't need to know the ins and outs. Just that whoever it was, was extremely dangerous and that I was running from them for whatever reason.
"Poppy, baby, I need to know some more details because right now I'm thinking the worst." He whispered when I finally stopped crying a good 20 minutes later.
"Whatever you're thinking is probably right in some sense." I sniffed, voice deep and my head pounding. I dried my eyes on the back of my hand and Alex turned me until I was sat facing him.
"If I tell you what I'm thinking, will you tell me if I'm right?" I nodded. "Okay, I'm thinking it's an ex. Not exactly law abiding in whatever sense that means-" I sniffed, giving him a little laugh as I nodded. I don't think there was a single law that Jaxson hasn't broken. "I think he doesn't like that you got away. That you feared he might end up killing you-"
"No." I shook my head.
"He wouldn't kill you?"
"Maybe now but that's not why I left."
"So why did you leave?" I sighed, leaning forward, pushing my head into his shoulder. "The more I know Poppy, the better I can do at making you safe."
"The more I tell you, the more you get dragged into it and the more in danger you become Alex. This is already bad enough as it is." He pulled me up, pushing my matted hair out of my face. "If he found out someone else had touched me-"
"He'd kill me?" I nodded, Alex smiling as he leaned forward and kissed me quickly. "I'd like to see him try babe."
"No, you don't understand Alex-"
"Poppy. Trust me. Okay? He's not got a chance."
"You can't stop a bullet Alex."
"I can if I pull mine quicker." I stared at him. "Now, I've looked at it whilst you napped, I'm giving you a pay rise. I was going to give you one anyway but after last night I'm upping the original figure I had in mind. How does 70 thousand sound?" I choked.
"I'm sorry?" He chuckled. "That's like- Jesus Alex- that's like over double what you're paying me right now."
"Mhm."
"Are you insane? That's - no- my job isn't worth that amount of pay."
"Look Pops, 2 options. Take the pay increase and quit the bar, or don't take it, quit the bar and move in with me so you don't need to pay bills."
"You're insane."
"Nope."
"Yeah-" I tried to climb off him but his hands pushed into my waist, holding me still. "You can't just double your PA's wage. No PA in the country gets paid that."
"Oh no? Do you know them all?"
"Yes, every single one." I scowled. "70k is ridiculous."
"You want more? I've got some wiggle room."
"WHAT? NO! There's people higher in our place that get less an 70k. I'm not getting that just because of whatever the hell this is."
"I'm not giving you the pay rise for that Poppy. I'm giving you it because you work 10 times harder than anyone else in there. You've been practically running the office for 3 years from the list of jobs you were doing so it's back pay for what you should have been on as well. I was upping it to 50 but if that extra 30 gives you the peace of mind to quit that horrible bar job then so be it."
"I- I can't take that Alex."
"Poppy." He flipped me over, laying between my legs. "Stop being stubborn and take it. Quit the job, I'll come and sit with you for your notice period in the corner whilst you work to make sure you're okay. I can't explain to you the lengths I'm going to go to just to make sure whoever this knobhead is that's terrifying you isn't going to touch you. I can do that a lot better if the only place you are is with me at work and here. And you need more sleep, because like 2 hours a night is absolutely not on."
"I need to think about it." He nodded.
"Of course. We can talk about it at lunch tomorrow." I exhaled. "I'm serious Pops. You're safe with me. Not just from this guy, from yourself too. You're working yourself into a hole and you're going to burn out if you're not careful. I need you to keep me on track, can't do that if you're in bed exhausted. Plus, you know, I can't fuck you over my desk if you're at home on sick leave."
"Not a chance." I chuckled.
"Fine, you're desk."
"No." I giggled, his lips pressing into the space between my boobs.
"The copy room?"
"You're really into this whole doing it at work thing aren't you?"
"With you? Fuck yes. Do you know how hard it is keeping my hands off you whilst we're there? Especially this week? There's been about 10 times where I could have easily given you what you deserved without anyone knowing." Oh god. It would be hot as fuck to do that.
"Tell me."
"Hm?" He looked up from my chest.
"Tell me where you want to do it." He smirked. "Maybe I'll think about letting you do it."