Chapter Sixteen
Kitty felt as if she could have been in mourning. She’d thought she’d prepared herself for goodbye but she was nowhere near ready. Her family and William’s parents had gathered down at the dock, as had the wives and families of the other naval officers, to say goodbye.
The grey skies let off an ominous feelings and threatened rain. It did not feel like summer but it did feel like goodbye.
Docked next to the magnificent Royal Rose was the trade ship that flew the East India Trading Company flag. On board were all sorts of things from tea to weaponry. Kitty didn’t know why it was so important to have a naval escort – what did it matter if a little tea was lost? But she knew that she wasn’t about to change the King’s decision, though if she had the opportunity she would give him a piece of her mind.
The thought of becoming a stowaway had crossed her mind but she knew it would only cause trouble.
William snapped her out of her trance by squeezing her hands in his. “Kitty?”
Her eyes flashed to his bright blue irises. They were filled with worry and concern. Why should he be worried and concerned about her? He was the one that was sailing into dangerous waters.
“Please don’t go anywhere on your own,” he instructed in a soft voice. “Married or not, you’re still a beautiful woman and some men, namely an unmentionable man, have no qualms with violating you.”
Kitty nodded, choosing to obey him. “I won’t,” she promised. “Will you do something for me?” she asked.
William nodded, bringing his hand to her cheek.
“Do not be a hero,” she said sadly. “It may be horrid of me to ask as you are anything but a coward but you are sailing off with a hundred and twenty guns strapped to the walls of the ship.”
William’s face softened as he smiled slightly. “I’ve already told you I’m coming home. As soon as the trades are complete and we are free I’ll be right back here by your side.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He then placed his hand on her flat stomach. “Take care of my son, won’t you?” he whispered in her ear.
“How do you know it is a boy? And how do you even know I’m with child?” she arched one of her eyebrows.
“Wishful thinking, I suppose,” he smiled.
At that moment there were cries aboard the Royal Rose which Kitty knew meant that they had to depart. William looked up onto the deck regretfully before returning to her.
“I will write you as soon as I can,” he promised. “I can’t promise that we’ll be in one place for too long so I doubt I’ll be able to give you a return address but I will give you a time frame in my letter.”
“Captain,” said a man standing behind Kitty. She turned around to see Commander Gates looking stern. He met her eyes and bowed his head. “Milady,” he greeted formally.
“Commander,” she smiled slightly.
“Is it time?” William asked his second in command regretfully.
“It is,” Commander Gates nodded.
As if on cue, the clouds that threatened rain began to spill. She was thankful to the little wet droplets as they disguised her tears. Her family were standing twenty feet behind her all looking solemn.
Kitty pulled a letter from her person and handed it to him. He closed his hands over the paper to keep it safe from the rain.
“What’s this?” he asked curiously.
“A letter, do not read it now or when you are on board or tomorrow even, just read it when you need to hear my voice, or my pathetic excuse for counsel,” Kitty said bashfully. She immediately regretted giving him the letter, he probably thought her ridiculous.
Instead of scoffing or throwing the letter in the pools of water that were collecting on the docks he slipped it into his pocket. “I shall keep it safe until I need it.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and short, but it still made Kitty want to collapse on the ground wailing.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“As I you,” he replied. “I’ll return before you know it.”
“I’ll hold you to your word,” she said, forcing a smile onto her mouth. With that he turned away from her. With his Commander they both walked up the ramp to the ship where the other officers saluted them. The ramp was removed and the anchor was pulled from the ocean. The young boys dressed in their best tweed scurried along the harbour untying the ropes that secured the ships to the harbour.
He appeared on deck as he smiled directly at Kitty one last time. Kitty couldn’t help the menacing feeling she got in the pit of her stomach that told her it would be the last time she saw him.
The rain suddenly stopped hitting her face when a thick parasol shielded her. Instead of it being her mother or Little J, it was Kathleen Aubrey.
“Just wait, dear,” she instructed, sounding almost kind. “In twenty minutes he won’t be able to see you anymore and you can collapse in that fit of tears I know you’re desperate to do.”
The Royal Rose followed the East India Trading Company ship slowly as they departed. True as Kathleen had promised, after twenty minutes both ships had become far enough away that Kitty could let her knees give way.
But she refused to let them. She wouldn’t cry, not there. Her worries were ridiculous, he’d promised to return and there were people far worse off in life than she was. It wouldn’t be that long, a year at most, and what was a year?
Instead she watched. She watched until the Royal Rose and her companion disappeared from the horizon. She’d been standing so long that she’d lost the feeling in her legs. The rain had stopped yet it left her clothes cold and damp.
Kathleen still remained at her side and her family were now in the carriages just so they could have a seat. “With every departure, my dear, it gets easier,” she promised. “I know it feels like he’s so far away, that he’s never going to return home but it’s not true. My son and I have said goodbye a dozen times before so I know exactly how you feel, but know that he has returned to me every single time,” she assured her. “However I feel this one will be the last. I doubt any future journeys will be torture for a husband like he, especially when he has a young, lovely wife at home.”
Kitty peered at Kathleen curiously. “Are we friends, Mrs Aubrey?”
Kathleen’s grey eyes softened. “We’re both ‘Mrs Aubrey’ now, aren’t we? We must stick together. Now come along. Your parents and siblings have waited in the rain long enough. We must all return to Ethridge and dry off. I expect a cup of tea and some hot soup are in order.”
Kitty conceded and allowed Kathleen to lead her over to the carriages. Her mother immediately stepped out and enveloped Kitty in her arms. Her golden hair was quite wet but Emilia didn’t seem to notice. “How are you, my darling?” she asked sadly. “Mrs Aubrey advised me that she was more suited to comforting you on this matter.” Kitty did not miss the annoyed look her mother shot at Kathleen.
“Mrs Aubrey understands, mama,” Kitty spoke truthfully. “Just as you understand for several other matters on which I need counsel.”
Emilia kissed Kitty’s forehead and pulled her into the carriage. “Thank you, Mrs Aubrey,” Emilia smiled just as the carriage door closed.
“You’ll be alright,” her father promised just as Little J took her hand.
“I know,” Kitty replied. A year was what she had to wait. A year would not be the death of her.
Two months passed. June rolled into July and July became August and before anyone knew it, it was nearly time for Sabine to return to Nottingham. In those two months Kathleen and John had returned to Kent with the promise that they too would join the Alcotts and the Winchesters at Grandmamma Catherine’s farm for Christmas.
In those two months James had been released from Sebastian’s side and had begun courting a young woman named Miss Sarah Smith who Emilia really disliked as she feared the woman only wished to be the next Countess and not James’ wife.
In those two months Little J had not snuck out of the house once which gave Kitty the suspicion that she’d either separated from her lover or whatever she was doing had ceased.
In those two months Sabine had not stopped ranting every time she received a letter from her family over her fury at how the new Scottish stable hand was running things.
In those two months Kitty had not received any letters.
And in those two months Kitty had not gotten her monthly. William had had his wish granted; Kitty only wished she had a way of telling him.
The days were alright. She occupied herself with visiting Annie and Joseph, reading thanks to Little J’s encouragement. She’d immersed herself in Victor Hugo’s ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’, a new novel that her father had recently purchased. She’d been enjoying it until Mr Hugo had killed off Esmeralda and turned Quasimodo to dust. She’d abandoned reading after that and switched to helping out at the orphanage with Joseph and Annie. That she did enjoy. It saddened her to see all the children that didn’t have parents or homes. But they were all so happy to see her every time she arrived.
The nights were the hardest. They were when she was completely alone. She’d moved from her bedchamber into the guest stateroom that she and William had shared. It felt like the first place they had lived together even if it was just for a night ... in her parent’s house.
Before she knew it, it was eve of September. The day before Henry departed for his final year at Eton and Sabine returned home to, no doubt, end up in the town jail for attacking the new stable hand with a pitchfork.
“All I’m saying,” Sabine ranted at her final dinner at Ethridge. “Is that if I wanted Puissant to be exercised like that I would have started it when she was foal. She’s ten years old, she’s perfect for my trail rides but for racing? The man belongs in an asylum, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Really?” James sniggered. Sabine had been talking about Puissant’s exercise regime for ten minutes straight.
“I’ve heard that horse racing is the sport of tomorrow,” Emilia commented, sipping her soup elegantly. “Perhaps this Mr McKenzie knows what he’s doing. If he’s sees potential in Puissant, then why shouldn’t he train her?”
“Aunt Emilia, she’s my horse!” Sabine protested. “I can’t wait to go home tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind,” she muttered.
“Does that mean you’ll stop giving us a piece of your mind?” Henry asked comically.
Sabine’s eyes narrowed as she threw the napkin from her lap across the table at Henry. In any other household, such an action would have been an abomination but all Sebastian, Emilia and the rest of the family did was laugh.
“We’ll miss you, Sabine,” Sebastian chuckled. “Though I feel as though your family will be disappointed that we didn’t do better this summer season.”
“You cannot be blamed, Uncle Sebastian, you aren’t the one with a boring personality,” Sabine shrugged.
“You aren’t boring,” Little J interjected.
“You just have very particular interests,” Kitty concluded. “You won’t find a man that can talk about the various conditions of tackle in London.” Kitty then wondered how old Mr McKenzie was. If he was young, then at least he could annoy Sabine as a romantic prospect, though she couldn’t see her Uncle Daniel allowing his only daughter to marry the stable hand. “By the way, I have some news,” Kitty said nervously. She hadn’t told a soul that she was expecting, not until she was positive.
She heard the sounds of spoons returning to their bowls and suddenly felt the entire room’s eyes on her, including the footmen who were standing in the doorway.
“What is it?” her mother asked, sounding concerned. “Is it from Captain Aubrey? It is bad news?”
“No, mama, nothing bad,” she assured her. “Actually it’s very good news.”
A smile spread across Emilia’s face. “Are you?” she asked excitedly.
“I am,” Kitty confirmed.
Emilia, Little J and Sabine all rose from their chairs cheering and clapping and offering words of congratulations. The men however looked bewildered and confused.
“What’s going on?” Sebastian asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Kitty rolled her eyes at their cluelessness.
“Oh, really, Sebastian, you are oblivious sometimes. You are to be a grandpapa!” Emilia exclaimed.
Sebastian’s dark blue eyes widened as his jaw dropped. He looked positively stunned.
Her brothers both grinned and commented on the fact that they were to be uncles.
Kitty placed a protective hand over her stomach as she was hugged and kissed by the members of her family. She zoned out of the chatter over the preparations that were to be made and just imagined a pretty pink baby ... a little pink baby with bright blue eyes that were just a little too big for its face.
But papa was not there, and she didn’t know if it was fear talking or actuality.
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I'm sorry this is late, I've had a really, really tough few days personally. So much so that I was just starring at my computer screen thinking "I could just kill all the characters and be done with it." But I didn't, because writing and my stories are my escape from my personal life!
So I watched Jane Eyre and fell in love with Mr Rochester, then took a breath and got writing with what I actually wanted to happen. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this :)