Summary:
Stolas watches little Blitzø, and it's harder than he has anticipated.
Notes:
TW: Intense diaper changing, anxiety, falling down, getting hurt, biting, fear of trusting people, some yelling, but nothing too serious. Lmk if I should add.
~~~Blitzø~~~
Blitzø was finally back to work.
For the last couple weeks, things had pretty much had gone back to normal.
Loonas' sarcasm.
Moxxies' reasoning,
Millies' insane demented violence,
M&M loving each other and acting like they're the only two people in existence.
Yeah...
Normal.
But now Stolas is his caregiver and that made him feel...uneasy. He supposed.
Not that he thought he couldn't trust Stolas, he was just worried that maybe Stolas would think they're something now.
And they're very much not!
Stolas and him... he supposed friends wasn't the worst word for them, but they weren't lovers.
Transactional intimacy does not equal partnership.
And not hating someone entirely doesn't make you in love.
~~~
Blitzø has felt anxious all day knowing that he had to meet Stolas after work to regress...
He was willingly going to regress in front of Stolas. There is a lot of overwhelming emotions connected to his regression, why did he agree to this?
It's a lot of intimacy, Stolas would be willingly holding him, feeding him, changing him... oh, shit.
Stolas would be changing him...
It was one thing when Blitzø wore diapers on his own, but being around someone else and allowing them to change them was completely different.
He was overwhelmed by that realization, and he realized that he was really trusting Stolas... he wasn't scared of what Stolas would do or think. He did trust him.
And that's what was so scary.
~~~Stolas and Blitzø:~~~
Stolas has been waiting hours for Blitzø to show up! They confirmed today several times, what could possibly be taking him so long?
Stolas texted him three hours ago with no response.
Was he alright? Was he avoiding him?
Stolas just couldn't wait any longer! So, he decides to open a portal in Blitzø's apartment to fetch him instead.
"Blitzø, you were supposed to meet me at-" he stopped the lecture once he noticed the small Imp laying on the couch, seemingly upset.
"Blitzy? Are you alright?" Stolas asks. "What has happened?"
"It's nothing. I'm fine." Blitzø says, staring at the ceiling.
"You're certainly not fine. What has happened?" Stolas asks again.
"It- doesn't matter, it was just a long day." Blitzø explains, getting up. Really, he's just feeling overwhelmed and doesn't want to admit it.
Stolas nods. "I understand, dear. Perhaps regressing will help you then?" He asks.
Blitzø takes a deep breath, trying not to panic. "Maybe."
"Come on." Stolas reaches out his hand to Blitzø.
Blitzø thought about it, he didn't want to regress, but Stolas is right, it'll probably help him feel better... So, he decides to rip off the bandaid and he takes Stolas's hand to follow him through the portal to his palace.
"Now then, I have acquired a few things for little you, Blitzy. But, I wasn't sure what all I needed to get. I figure we'll have to just play it by year." Stolas explains.
"Mhm." Blitzø says, trying to resist the urge to run as fast as he can to avoid this.
"What do you want to do first, Blitzy?" Stolas asks.
"I don't know...you're the fucking caregiver." Blitzø remarks.
Stolas was a little taken back by Blitzø's tone. "Well, we can get you dressed, or would you prefer to do that after you've regressed?"
Blitzø shrugs. "I don't care."
"Alright, before then." Stolas says. "Perhaps maybe, it'll help you slip."
Blitzø groans loudly.
"Okay- Blitzø, what is your problem? Do you just not want to regress?" Stolas asks, starting to get frustrated by Blitzø's attitude.
"Would you want to?!" Blitzø retorts loudly.
Stolas sighs. "Okay, what do you wish to do then?"
Blitzø sighs. "I don't know! All this is too much, I kinda just want this over with." He complains.
"You don't have to regress." Stolas says. "We can just try again some other time-"
Blitzø crosses his arms. "I want to.. I probably need to, this is just a lot...I'm sorry."
Stolas nods. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Blitzy. Let's just relax." Stolas suggests. "We can take a nap here, or we can watch a movie downstairs to calm down. Which would you prefer?"
Blitzø thinks about it. "A movie sounds nice, I guess." It'll keep him relaxed and entertained, he'll be thinking about something other than what Stolas was thinking or doing, or even what he was doing right now.
"Perfect! I have a ton of streaming platforms, and some animated movies too. You can pick anything you'd like as long as it's kid friendly." Stolas says.
Blitzø agrees and they head downstairs and relax on the couch.
Blitzø picked his favorite Tv show, it was about horses who were friends and did cute stuff like ate sugar cubes and sang about sharing and friendship. It was a simple concept with a cute story that Blitzø was enthralled by.
And Stolas found it adorable when Blitzø decided to explain the characters and story to him, Stolas already figured most of that out, but he listened to Blitzø's explanation and even encouraged him to say more.
After a few episodes, Blitzø had relaxed in Stolas's arms.
And only about ten minutes later he heard whimpering from Blitzø, as if he was either having a bad dream, or perhaps he was simply not comfortable.
"What's wrong, darling?" Stolas asks.
But, Blitzø didn't answer, he just wrapped his arms around the owl's neck, whimpering more.
Stolas coddled Blitzø in his arms. "You're okay, Blitzy. Shh. It's alright, darling." Stolas stood up and rocked him back and forth to calm him down.
Blitzø blinked slowly and complied with Stolas, calming down and relaxing in his arms.
Stolas cooes, Blitzø really was like a tiny angel in this headspace...
He carried Blitzø upstairs and places him on the bed gently.
The little one is too tired to react as Stolas gathers some clothes for Blitzø to wear and all the necessary diaper changing supplies.
He starts to undress Blitzø, taking off his shoes, choker, and coat, but the little one soon noticed what he was doing. Blitzø whines loudly and tries to get away, but Stolas was quick to hold him down with one hand.
"It's alright, dear I'm just getting you changed." Stolas reassures, rubbing the top of the little one's head.
Blitzø whines pathetically and tries to move away from Stolas again.
"Blitzy, be good darling." Stolas tells him. "We have to get you changed." He says.
Blitzø continues to whine and he covers his face.
Stolas could tell Blitzø was feeling uneasy about this, so he wondered if he could make it a little better for him.
"Blitzø, I need to remove your big clothes so I can put you into little clothes." Stolas explains. "Don't you want to get out of those uncomfortable work clothes and wear a comfortable onesie?" Stolas asks.
Blitzø shakes his head instantly.
Stolas sighs, he allows Blitzø sit up while he thinks of something. "Why don't you pick which one you want to wear? We have a blue one with horses and clouds on it, and this green one with unicorns and rainbows." Stolas says, laying the two onesies out for Blitzø to choose from.
Blitzø looks at them, then back up at Stolas... "mmm." Blitzø points at the blue one.
"Excellent choice, Blitzy." Stolas says. "Now, we need to grab a diaper for you. Would you like to choose one?" He asks.
Blitzø shrugs, he brought his knees to his chin and hugged his legs tightly in hopes to compose himself for what he knew was coming.
Stolas had bought three different diapers for Blitzø; one pack had diapers with stars on it, one was purple with flowers, and he had also bought a pack of normal white diapers. There's a few stores specifically for littles, and being royal would normally draw him some attention, but luckily he regularly donates supplies to adoption centers, so they paid him very little attention and figured it was business as usual.
He laid out the diapers for Blitzø who just stared at them for a moment.
"It's alright, dear. Whichever you decide will look absolutely amazing on you." Stolas says.
Blitzø smiles at Stolas, then picks up the star print one.
"Oh, good job, Blitzy! You picked a good one." Stolas complimented, patting his head.
Blitzø giggled at Stolas's enthusiasm.
Stolas takes the diaper and sets it aside. "Alright, let's get your shirt off, arms up please." He requests.
Blitzø continues to stare at the diaper as he raises his arms for Stolas to take off his shirt.
"Very good, Blitzy." Stolas praised. "Now, I'm going to take off your pants and underwear." He says. "Please lay down for me."
Blitzø whines.
"It's alright, darling. I promise to make this as quick as possible so you can play." Stolas says as he unbuttoned Blitzø's pants, then once Blitzø had laid down on his back, he quickly took his pants and undergarments off.
Blitzø kicked his legs once Stolas had finished undressing him. He squirmed about and his breathing hitched, he grew more and more anxious as this continued.
Stolas kept a hand on Blitzø to keep him still, he leans down and kisses Blitzø's head to hopefully calm him down a little. "Shh, it's alright. You did such a good job, Blitzy." He says.
Blitzø does calm down a little after hearing the praise, so Stolas figured that continuing to talk may help the process go smoothly.
"Blitzy, remind me; what color is dawn shimmer?" Stolas asks him as he grabs a diaper.
Dawn shimmer is a character from the horse show they were just watching, he figured occupying his mind with something he actually liked may help the process. "Wewo." Blitzø says.
"Very good, Blitzy." Stolas says in his best baby talk voice. "And who is dawn's best friend?"
"Speew." Blitzø says, sounding a little younger then before.
"Speer, that's very good. And what kind of animal is Speer?" Stolas asks, getting out the diaper cream and rubbing it between his talons so it won't be so cold, then he gently dabs some on Blitzø's area.
Blitzø's breathing increased again. "Mmm." He whines.
"It's okay, Blitzy." Stolas promised. "Almost done." He says.
Blitzø nods. "He a...die-o."
Stolas raises an eyebrow as he sprinkles the little bit of baby powder. "What's that?"
"Speew is a da-ei-ow-sa-s." Blitzø explains, trying to speak normally was getting harder, so he said it slowly in hopes stolas would get it.
"Speer is a...dinosaur." Stolas chuckles. "Oh yes, that's right."
"Wike you's." Blitzø says.
Stolas taped up the diaper comfortably snug around the imp. Stolas hums, not really understanding what Blitzø just said.
"Acuz yous bos has feafers." Blitzø says. "You's n' speew."
"We both do have feathers, you're right." Stolas says. The dinosaur 'Speer' on the show was covered in purple feathers, Stolas thought Blitzø was simply saying that both him and Speer had feathers, not that Stolas himself was a dinosaur.
"We're nearly done, I just need to put your onesie on, alright?" Stola asks.
Blitzø nods. "Mkay."
Stolas takes the blue onesie and pulls it over Blitzø's head. "Alright, let's get your arms through the sleeves." Stolas says.
Blitzø can't control his arms too well, but Stolas helps him pull them through, then he buttoned up the bottom.
"There we are, all done!" Stolas says enthusiastically. "Good job, Darling." Stolas saus, offering the little a high five.
Blitzø smiles happily, gladly returning the high-five.
Stolas cleaned his hands of the diaper cream quickly, then picked up Blitzø who clings to him, not wanting to let go, he was exhausted from the emotional stress, and he needed some comfort.
Stolas could tell Blitzø could use some more sleep as well, so he lays down on the bed, and holds Blitzø close, and they both drifted to sleep.
~~~
Regressed Blitzø was indeed an angel...
Until he woke up that is.
Stolas woke up to find that Blitzø was no longer there. "Blitzø?" Stolas called.
He hears a very soft tearing sound, like fabric or thick paper. Stolas gets up to investigate and finds Blitzø by his bookshelf tearing up books on the lowest shelf.
"Blitzø, no." Stolas scolds gently, taking the book from him.
Blitzø pouts, but he doesn't protest more than that. Stolas uses magic to clean up the mess and fix the books Blitzø had torn. "Let's go downstairs to play with your toys, hm?" Stolas suggests, he attempts to pick Blitzø up which resulted in the little one bitting his wrist hard. "Ow-" Stolas recoiled. "Blitzø! This is NOT acceptable behavior!" Stolas scolded.
Blitzø hissed at Stolas and then ran to hide under the bed.
Stolas huffed, this was proving to be a lot more difficult than he had originally anticipated...
No matter.
After Stolas had looked up: 'can imp bites become infected' on his phone (spoiler alert: they can.) he decided to look up information about imps that regress. Apparently, it's quite normal for imps to hiss, whimper, and even growl, but it doesn't say anything about biting...
Oh, it's just bad behavior, not common Imp behavior. That makes sense considering he bit one of his servants as an adult too... he was going to have to teach Blitzø that biting wasn't acceptable behavior.
Stolas sat down on the floor next to the bed, still holding his injured wrist. "Blitzy, I'm not mad at you, dear. Please come out from under the bed." He says.
Blitzø hissed at Stolas and buried himself deeper.
"Blitzø, stop this foolishness, this instant!" Stolas demanded.
"No!" Blitzø answers in his little voice.
"Blitzø..."
He hissed again.
"Alright, fine, maybe you just need some space, hm?" Stolas suggested, now a little frustrated with the imp. "Don't move, I'll be right back." He says.
As soon as Stolas left the room to take care of his wrist, Blitzø crawled out from under the bed and then slowly crawled into the hallway.
Stolas was downstairs, and Blitzø wanted Stolas to not be downstairs; or, maybe if he were downstairs too, it would be okay that Stolas was downstairs. But, he's too far away if one is upstairs and the other is down the stairs...
They need to be on the same levels...it's the law.
Why would Stolas leave? Blitzø had no idea, but it made him feel anxious and all alone. So, the imp attempts to crawl down the stairs, but he slips and he fell down. Blitzø tumbled down the stairs until he stopped about half way down, and he lands in the middle of the staircase where it stops to turn. He doesn't want to continue to fall...but he also still wants Stolas! This is a very scary and complicated thing for him, he gets so overwhelmed that he starts crying loudly.
Stolas just finished wrapping up his wrist where the imp had bitten him. He was going to head back upstairs to check on the little one when he heard a loud 'thump thump thump' and the sound of crying.
Oh shit.
Stolas ran up the staircase and found Blitzø crying on one of the steps.
"Oh, Blitzy. I'm so sorry." Stolas says. "Are you alright?"
"Sauwas." Blitzø whines, reaching out for him.
Stolas picks him up, more hesitantly this time. (Luckily the Imp didn't bite him again.) "It's alright, I'm here, darling." He says reassuringly. It was a bad time, but hearing Blitzø actually call for him was truly adorable, and he couldn't help but softly coo at it.
Stolas carries Blitzø downstairs, and by then the little one had calmed down. So, Stolas's set him down on the floor with all the new toys he had bought.
Blitzø picked up one of blocks and stared at it for a minute- as if he was unsure what to do with it. Then he threw it at the wall.
Stolas knelt down to meet Blitzø's gaze. "Blitzø, we don't throw blocks." He says gently.
Blitzø whined, then threw another one, this time at Stolas.
Stolas was not expecting it, and he recoils.
"Blitzø, if this bad behavior continues, I'm not opposed to using disciplinary actions." Stolas threatens.
Blitzø starts crying again.
Stolas sighs. "Blitzø, it's alright- please, don't cry." Stolas begs, he picks up Blitzø and rocks him gently to calm him down.
Ah, yes. Stolas remembered that he had bought a pacifier for Blitzø! He uses magic to bring it to him, it was a dark blue one. They had other ones at the store, but he was unsure which one he should buy. He also wanted to be sure Blitzy actually liked them since they hadn't previously talked about it.
He popped it in Blitzø's mouth and it instantly calmed the Imp down as he suckled on it happily.
Stolas holds the imp close. He knows this must be hard for Blitzø, he's probably confused and stressed out about everything happening...
"Let's try this..." Stolas suggests. He sits down on the floor, Blitzø still sniffling as he's placed gently on the bird's lap.
Stolas picked up a block, then set it on the floor in front of them, then another one on top.
This got the little one's attention.
"Would you like to try?" Stolas asks, handing Blitzø a block.
Blitzø takes it and sets it on top of the two blocks. (Stolas was there to keep the two below it balanced since Blitzø's hands were a bit shaky.)
"Blitzy, you did it!" Stolas cheers. "Good job."
Blitzø chuckles, wiping his face with
his arm and doing the same with another block.
This carried on for a little while until the tower tiered over Blitzø.
"And now, my darling. You have full permission to knock them over." Stolas says.
Blitzø was excited about that, he hit the tower with his hand and the whole thing tumbled over.
"Good job, Blitzy!" Stolas cheered.
Blitzø cheered aswell through his pacifier, it was positively adorable.
~~~Later:~~~
Stolas had put on a movie for Blitzø to watch; it's a movie about a horse who...runs around? (It's for kids, it's not that complicated.) And Blitzø was living for it, he was enthralled by the horse running around and the sounds of whinnies and music playing was just pure serotonin for him.
"Alright, Blitzy. I'm going to make us some dinner. Can you stay here and be good for me?" Stolas asks.
Blitzø nods.
Stolas smiles and pats the little one's head. "That's my good Blitzy."
Stolas left to go to the kitchen to prepare some macaroni and cheese, and then he placed it on the end table in the living room. "Alright, Blitzy. Would you like to feed yourself or shall I assist?" Stolas asks.
Blitzø grabs the bowl and grabs some of the macaroni with his hand and eats it.
Stolas sighs. He takes Blitzø's hand and cleans it with a baby wipe which makes Blitzø whine a bit.
"Would it be alright if I try to feed you?" Stolas asks, not wanting Blitzø to make a big mess.
Blitzø gets nervous but he nods.
Stolas smiles. "Thank you, dear." He takes Blitzø's bowl of Mac and cheese and spoon feeds it to him.
Blitzø seemed to enjoy it, mostly focusing on the movie as Stolas fed him.
Once he was done, Stolas gave him a sippy cup of juice, which he happily drank.
The movie went on, and Blitzø was still being entertained enough by it. And though Stolas couldn't seem to find a plot, he was glad Blitzø was happy.
~~~
Stolas was casually scrolling through his phone when he heard a gasp and a whine from Blitzø.
"Blitzø... what's wrong?" Stolas asks, pausing the movie to turn to the Imp.
Blitzø cries and hides behind the couch.
Stolas was confused for a moment before realizing what must be wrong. "Did you have an accident, Blitzy?" He asks.
Blitzø didn't answer.
Stolas moves to sit next to the couch, not wanting to scare Blitzø more, but giving him the opportunity to come out himself if he wanted to. "It's alright, dear. That's what the diaper is for, I'm not upset in the slightest." He promised.
Only soft crying can be heard from Blitzø.
"Please come out so that I can change you, Blitzø?" Stolas asks.
"No!" Blitzø shouts..
"Blitzø..."
"Nooo." Blitzø whines loudly again, and then cries more.
Stoles takes a deep breath, there has to be a way to make this more enjoyable for Blitzø so he's not as scared.
He gives Blitzø a few minutes peace to calm down before trying something: "Oh Blitzy! Could you help me with something, please?" He asks.
Blitzø slowly peaks from behind the couch, still on guard just in case this is some kind of trick.
"I can't seem to remember who this is." Stolas says, holding up one of Blitzø's horse figures. This one is a custom figure Blitzø had made himself, it was purple. He had left it at Stolas's place once and Stolas kept forgetting to return it to him.
Blitzø's eyes widen, he knew the answer. "Naiw powish?" Blitzø says, like it's a question.
"Oh yes, that's right!" Stolas says. "How could I forget?"
Blitzø smiles.
"And how about this one?" He asks, holding a plushie, this one is from the actual show.
"Mmm, laizer tad." Blitzø says.
Laser tag. "Oh Blitzy you're so smart. Good job." Stolas says.
Blitzø crawls closer to Stolas who continues to show him the horse plushies.
They discussbthe horses for a few moments before Blitzø shifted uncontrollably. "Stowes?" He asks.
"Yes, my love?" He asks. Stolas has never called Blitzø that before, it sorta just slipped out.
"Scawd." Blitzø admits.
Stolas frowns. "I know, darling. But, I promise I won't hurt you. It'll be real fast and then we can continue the movie. And you'll feel so much better once it's done." Stolas explains.
"Pwomise?" Blitzø asks.
Stolas wraps a talon around Blitzø's smallest finger. "I promise."
A tear falls down Blitzø's face. "Mkay."
Stolas hugs Blitzø. "It'll be alright. Say, why don't you choose one of your friends to keep you company during diaper time, hm?" Stolas suggests.
Blitzø looked at them, then grabbed Polychrome Sprint. A rainbow print pony with blue hair.
"Well, that one is very nice, Blitzy. Who is that?" Stolas asks.
"Powy sprint." Blitzø explains.
"My, she looks very fun." Stolas says.
Blitzø smiles and nods. "Mhm."
"Will you lay down for me please? I promise it won't take long." Stolas says.
Blitzø is still scared, but he does as Stolas requested and laid down on the changing mat.
"Thank you, Blitzy." Stolas says. "You're very brave." He says.
Stolas changed Blitzø as quickly as he could, praising him for his compliance and being patient when Blitzø squirmed about and tried to get away.
It took some time, but they both got through it, then the two of them snuggled together as they continued their movie.
~~~Afterwards~~~
Blitzø had fallen asleep during the movie, it was a lot of emotional stress on him, the diaper change especially wore him out.
Blitzø woke up a few hours later, seeing it was getting pretty late.
"Blitzø?" Stolas asks, waking up from his own slumber.
Blitzø had tried to move away from Stolas without waking him up too, but clearly that didn't work.
Blitzø blinked at him awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. "Yeah...hi."
"Are you big again, dear?" Stolas asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Yeah." Blitzø answers, awkwardly rubbing his neck. "I didn't mean to wake you up, I was just going to head home." He explains.
"It's alright, I only dozed off for a moment." Stolas says.
Blitzø chuckles. "Right... So, how'd it go?" He asks, choosing to sit next to Stolas again.
"Well...um, what do you remember?" Stolas asks.
"Not much...we watched a show..." he says.
"Yes...?" Stolas asks, waiting for Blitzø to continue.
"...The rest is kinda blurry." Blitzø says.
"I see, well. How are you feeling?" Stolas asks.
"Pretty good actually." Blitzø admits. "I dont think I've ever been so deep in headspace before." Blitzø was feeling refreshed and relaxed as if a lot of stress was suddenly taken away from him. Who knew regression could do that to you?
"That's good!" Stolas says. "Um, how's your head?" Stolas asks.
"My...head?" Blitzø asks.
"Yes, well..." Stolas suddenly got nervous. "Um..."
Blitzø raises an eyebrow at Solas's hesitance to answer. "What happened?"
"Nothing!" Stolas insists.
"Stolas, if you're going to look after me, I have to know what's going on! Otherwise, how can I be sure I can trust you?" Blitzø asks.
Stolas sighs. "Alright, you took a little tumble down the stairs."
Blitzø smiles at that. "Oh yeah? How'd that happen?"
"Well, you see, you were getting a little fussy, and I tried to pick you up but, then you bit me-"
"And so you threw me down the stairs? Damn, Stolas. That's pretty harsh, don't you think?" Blitzø asks jokingly. He knew Stolas wouldn't do that.
"I did NOT throw you down the stairs!" Stolas shouts as Blitzø starts to laugh hysterically.
"Blitzø, please? I feel bad enough as is." Stolas says embarrassed.
"Just relax, I'm fine." Blitzø insisted. "Did anything else happen?"
Stolas shakes his head. "I don't think so...except for you being absolutely adorable that is." Stolas teases, poking Blitzø's side to make him jump.
"Stolas..." Blitzø warns.
"Aww, my poor whittle Bwitzy. Did someone get what was coming to them?" Stolas asks, teasing him even more with the use of his baby voice.
"For the love of Lucifer, stop." Blitzø says, blushing deeply.
Stolas chuckles, but he does stop.
"Seriously though...thanks for not giving up on me or whatever." Blitzø says.
Stolas smiles a kisses Blitzø softly. "I never would." He says. "I do think we should discuss more boundaries such as rules and discipline, but maybe that should wait until next time." Stolas suggests.
Blitzø nods. "Sure, yeah. Okay."
"I did have a marvelous time with you, even though you are quite the little brat. I look forward to next time." Stolas admits.
Blitzø smiles for a fraction of a second before it drops.
'No one will ever want you...' his thoughts reminded him.
"Yeah...me too." He says quietly.