Chapter Fifty One: This Boy Is Mine
I'm not an amazing cook but at least I can cook. Kahit na unang beses ko pa lang gumawa ng Pizza Bagels for Alexander, I think I did a pretty great job.
I just finished my job today, nakadalawang photoshoot din ako, medyo pagod pero may energy pa rin naman ako para bisitahin siya.
Andito siya sa apartment niya next to mine and not at their mansion. Gusto niya raw malapit sa trabaho niya, he's much better now and it's only been six days.
I'm happy na nakakatulong yung mga gamot at yung tulog, but he's already working on his bed with a Laptop and some documents.
I made an Iced Matcha latte for him, Matcha is healthy and almost to 0 sugar na rin yung ginamit kong gatas at yung creamer.
I took a few tissues and went inside of his room with the food and Iced Matcha latte with me.
He's inside with his glasses in front of the Laptop and his documents, like I said.
Napunta ang atensyon niya sa'kin at agad na inilagay ang mga dokyumento at papeles sa drawer sa tabi ng kama niya.
"Alex..." I said, sighing.
"I... I needed to work, Rina. I love my brother, I trust him, but I really want to make sure that ever--"
"Everything is in place, I get it. You said the same exact thing for the 28th time since yesterday, shut it. And rest!" I said, raising my voice at nilapag yung pagkain at inumin sa kabila ng drawer.
I took his laptop and he looked like he was about to argue with me but I'm not going to let him.
Nilagay ko yung Laptop sa lamesa sa labas at bumalik sa kwarto niya, nilagay ko yung pagkain at yung Iced Matcha latte sa lamesa niya sa kama.
Breakfast in bed lang ang vibe na'tin kahit na 'di naman breakfast, it's like 6:35 pm right now.
"I'll let you work tomorrow, okay? Pero bawal pa ring pumasok, 'di ba nga sabi sa'yo ni Ares na sa lunes ka babalik? Just trust him."
Ares is amazing. He's going to graduate a few months from now and yet he is already the CEO of the Cardoza Angels agency.
He has to manage the whole family business for a week dahil kay Alexander, sabi naman ni Alex na 'di naman niya tsinetsek o minamanage yung mga deals o yung mga malalaking bagay sa pamilya.
He's just making sure na tama ang lahat at walang mali sa kung ano mang gawain sa negosyo nila.
And that man is obsessed with Genevieve, damn. He still is.
"I do trust him, he's my brother." tawa niya.
I pulled the chair from his desk and placed it next to his bed, umupo ako at humarap sa kanya.
"Do you also trust me?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Of course, Rina. I will always trust you."
"Then eat. I know na simple lang 'to pero talagang I worked hard for this, seriously. Eat!" utos ko sa kanya.
He laughed before he tried the Iced Matcha latte. I have my own taste when it comes to Matcha latte, minsan iba iba ang creamer na gamit ko o syrup.
I just made a regular Iced Matcha latte na may Hazelnut sweet cold foam, extra para sa kanya.
"You are amazing, Rina. You're so good at this, where did you learn this from? Instagram? TikTok?"
"Nope, uhm... someone, just someone."
I can't tell na my ex-boyfriend introduced me to Matcha, last time I mentioned an ex-boyfriend he got upset, nag-away pa nga kami 'di ba?
"Silas? Is it your ex-boyfriend?"
"Look, it doesn't matter. Just eat, you must be hungry."
I really don't want to tell him. Besides, may gusto akong itanong sa kanya and not talk about my ex-boyfriend, okay?
"Rina..." simula niya pagkatapos niyang kumagat sa Pizza Bagel.
"Hm?" sagot ko at pinunasan yung ketchup sa gilid ng labi niya.
"I'm sorry for how I acted before, I might have said some things that day and... okay lang kung 'di ka komportable sa harap ko, I'm okay."
"First of all, you were sick, like really sick. And second, kung hindi ako komportable e 'di dapat 'di kita binisita 'di ba?" sagot ko agad sa kanya.
Dami niyang dama minsan, pero mahal ko pa rin siya. He overthinks a lot.
"And third... I want to ask you something... about what I saw in your room, pictures of me. All of my pictures, Alex." nagbago agad ang ekspresyon niya.
He knows that I've seen it. He probably can't remember me entering that room, ewan ko ba pero sure ako na nakapasok sa utak niya ang posibilidad na yo'n.
"I believe you have some questions, don't you?" tanong niya.
"I have a lot but... I just want to know... why? I want to hear it from you. I want to hear why you... why you had to push me away."
I already know. I already know why but I want to hear it from him, gusto kong maintindihan dahil galing sa kanya, I want him to be honest.
Ayoko ng magtago siya ng sikreto sa'kin, I want to know everything. Kung kami... kung kami talaga sa huli, kung ito talaga ang para sa'ming dalawa, I have to know everything.
I'm willing to tell him everything too. I am. I'm not scared of anything anymore, not when... not when it's him.
"I wasn't enough." simula niya at hinawakan ang kamay ko nang mahigpit.
"I didn't feel like I was enough for you. I felt that I was never enough, ever. I was born in a different world from you, a world where I have to be the king of my own family and be responsible for its future..."
It is a pressure, a huge pressure for him.
"...alam ko naman kung anong posisyon ko but I didn't want it, I didn't want this. I don't want to be the king, how can you have something you don't even want? That feels..."
"Lonely." I said, completing his sentence.
I've been there. Reminds me when I met my biological father, I don't want to have him in my life because I didn't want it.
Sakto na ang buhay ko kahit na wala naman siya nung pinanganak ako ng nanay ko.
"It does feel lonely. I tried so many ways out of this world, until I met you." he smiles.
"I met you, Rina. You were in your uniform and you had ramen soup and noodles all over it..." tawa niya.
Really? Yun pa talaga ang nasa isip niya talaga? That was fucking embarrassing!
"...and you were beautiful, and you still are. You made me live your world, a world I wasn't meant to live in. But I was happy, I was really really happy. And then it kicked it in na... you don't deserve me. You don't deserve someone like me."
I can remember that day he told me that he's not good enough.
And I was pissed, annoyed, angry, and frustrated.
"Hindi ko maintindihan noon kung bakit ako yung nagustuhan mo, but when you confessed I just lost it, I fucking... I couldn't believe it. Everytime I would see you I would hide because fuck it... the most beautiful girl in the world, the girl I love... is in love with me too..." he chuckles with both of his cheeks blushing.
"...but I'm not good enough. I was scared. I'm scared that you... would be disappointed too just like how my parents were disappointed with me ever since they pushed me to become the fucking king of this family... I..." hinihingal niyang sabi at hinigpitan ko ang hawak ko sa kamay niya.
I know this is hard for him to talk about this. But I want everything. I want to know everything and I'm not going to run or take this as an excuse, I just want him to be honest.
I'll take it. I'll take all of it, I'll be here with him to listen.
"...I had to push you away, I was scared... and her? That girl? T-The... girl I kissed in the bathroom? I kissed her because she was interested with me, and I was frustrated because of my parents, because of my feelings for you, I had to let it go... I had to... and so I let her kiss me... and I kissed her back... but..."
Huminga siya ng malalim habang unti-unting tumutulo ang mga luha niya.
"...I kissed her because she looked like you. But she was nothing like you, even then I still thought of you and how your kiss must have tasted like heaven, I... I am in love with you and I hurt you, I shouldn't have done that..." iyak niya at hinalikan ang kamay ko.
"...I still... still don't fucking think I deserve to be with you but I know... I know I want to be there with you. I want to be the man for you, the man you deserve and I thought that maybe... him, me... me being the king is what you deserve..."
"No, no, Alex... I don't need him..." I said, now my chance to kiss his hand.
"...I only need you, I love you. You're the only one I need, I want... I love, you're mine, you're only... it's always been you." I said, smiling.
Alexander is crying just like that day inside the storage room, this time he's crying because he's hurt me and he's telling me everything.
"I love you, Rina... I can't... I don't think I can live a life without anymore."
"Yes you can, don't say that..." tawa kong sambit at niyakap siya.
"I love you, I love you, I love you so much, Rina. I love you... I..."
This man is in love with me. The love of my life loves me, and I love him so much. I can't believe this, naiiyak din ako, what the heck?
"Rina..."
"Hm?"
"Tell me you love me too, please? I just... I've waited far too long for this..." iyak niya.
I pulled a little away from him and sent him a glare.
Took too long?
Anong pinagsasabi niya?
Ako dapat ang nagsabi niyan!
"I also waited far too long for this, Alexander... don't you ever..."
I froze when we both realized how close we are right now from each other. Only inches away till our eyes... meet again.
It's been a while since the last time we've kissed and fuck, I really want to kiss him now.
Paano namang hinde? Mahal ko siya, mahal niya 'ko, tell me why I can't kiss the man I love right now?
"I want to kiss you..." bulong niya.
Fuck, he sounds and smells so fucking good. For someone who's supposed to be sick he's... I don't even know how to explain it.
"...you look so beautiful, you're here... and I can smell you... ha..."
"Then what's stopping you?" I whispered back, smirking.
"I'm sick, Rina..."
"Well..."
I gave him a peck on his lips and on his cheeks before our eyes meet again.
"...if I get sick, you'll just have to take care of me too, right? Besides... trabaho mo na yo'n bilang boyfriend ko~"
His eyes light up and his smile was too wide it looks like it was about to reach heaven.
"Boyfriend?"
"Yeah..." I said as I lean in for a kiss but after a few seconds he pulled away.
"So you're my girlfriend now?" he chuckled like a boy in love in high school.
"Yeah, fuck, yes..." tawa ko at hinalikan siya ulet.
This kiss means a lot.
Means na kami na.
Means that he's boyfriend.
Means that I'm his girlfriend.
Means that I am his.
Means that he... he is mine.
This has to be a dream right?
Pakiramdam ko na nabalik yata ako sa nakaraan, yung highschool pa 'ko, yung Rina na matagal nang hinihintay na mapansin ni Alexander.
I feel like I'm that Rina again, and fuck I don't care.
This man is mine.
This boy is mine.
"I... ah... ahh... love... you, R-Rina..." bulong niya habang hinahalikan ako.
Napakagat ako sa labi niya, I couldn't use my tongue inside him because I know he's sick, baka magkasakit ako pero kung magkakasakit ako ayokong magkasakit na hindi ako makapasok ng ilang araw.
A cold is enough.
And Alexander will take care of me.
"Shit... Rina..." ungol niya at tsaka niya biglang tinaboy yung lamesa kasama na rin yung pagkain at yung iced matcha latte na rin.
"Alex!" sigaw ko sa kanya.
But before he even say anything he carried me in to his lap. Akala ko ba may sakit siya? May sakit ba talaga siya?
"I'll clean it with you later, I promise..." he smirks, licking his upper lip as he focused on my lips.
Oh my gosh.
"Can I touch you?"
"Fuck yes..." mura ko sa kanya bago niya 'ko hinalikan.
I could feel his hands around my waist, one hand is slowly going up from my waist to my neck and his other hand finding its own way down to my butt.
Alexander is touching me... this way.
Wow. I'm surprised, I'm shocked, I... I can't breathe all of a sudden.
I'm overwhelmed.
Ang init ng halik niya at ang init din ng katawan at kamay niya.
Shit.
I'm turned on, aren't I?
Nababaliw na yata ako, I'm turned on at may sakit siya, baliw na talaga yata ako!
"A-Alex... " I pulled away but I made a mistake.
Agad na bumaba yung halik niya sa panga ko pababa sa leeg ko at ungol ang narinig niya nang makarating siya malapit sa dibdib ko.
"...w-wait... Alex... you're still sick..."
Narinig ko agad ang angal niya sa leeg ko. Oh, I just know he's upset.
"That doesn't mean I can't touch you, right? I'm better, I swear..."
What is wrong with him?
Anyare?
Lasing ba siya?
Hinihika? 'Di ko gusto yang tono ng boses niya because it's turning me on even more!
"Just... one kiss, one more... and then... I'll... order some food because you threw my food away..." saway ko sa kanya.
"And then we'll eat together~" ngiti ngiti niya pang sabi sabay nakaw ng halik sa leeg ko ulet.
"Yes, yes... we'll eat together, I promise."
"As boyfriend and girlfriend..."
Bwisit. Kinikilig ako, kinikilig nanaman ako, sure ba talaga na totoo 'to at 'di ko 'to panaginip?
But I just smiled, smiled like a girl in love just like I was back in high school.
Except this time, I'm not that girl anymore, he's mine and I'm his.
"Yes, as boyfriend and girlfriend, Alex."