My head was killing me since the seizure I had was pretty bad.
I ended up smashing my head on the ground when wasn't great but I had to pretend everything was okay.
I wasn't going to tell the kids about it because they would just worry. I'm sure it was because of the stress and how tired I have been, but I had to be careful about driving them.
It would be so bad if I had a seizure while driving again, especially since I wasn't supposed to be driving to begin with.
Once Juniper was in bed I went to check on the others, making sure they were done with their homework.
"Knock knock." I said as I knocked on Jenna's door. "What's up, Jules?" Jenna asked, looking up from her kindle.
"Doing homework check and saying goodnight." I said and sat on the bed. "Homework has been done. You should be worrying about Carter and Sam doing theirs." She said with a laugh.
"Yeah, I guess." I said as she put her kindle down. "Are you okay?" She asked as I nodded. "Yeah, just tired. Try to get to bed soon, alright?" I asked and stood up.
"Will do. I'll see you in the morning." She said as I nodded. "See you in the morning. Love you." I said then left to go to Carter's room.
"Hey, Jule." Carter said as I walked into the room. "Homework check." I said as he chuckled. "Done." He said with a nod.
"All of it?" I asked and raised my brows. "Most of it." He said causing me to laugh. "Get it done, man." I said and took the sketchbook in his hand and set it to the side.
"Alright, alright." Carter said then grabbed his book bag. "I'll see you tomorrow. Love you." I said then kissed his head and went to go to Sam's room.
"Hey, kiddo. What are you working on?" I asked and walked into the room. "An English paper." He said as I nodded.
"Are you almost done with it?" I asked and walked up to him, putting my hands on his shoulders.
"Yeah. Almost." He said then looked up at me. "You look tired." He said causing me to laugh.
"Thanks. So do you." I said with a laugh. "Finish your paper then get to bed, okay?" I asked and ruffled his hair.
"You got it, boss." He said with a laugh. "Love you." I said then left the room.
When I got back to my room, I laid on the bed and grimaced at the pain in my head.
After a second I grabbed my phone and FaceTimed Colby.
"Hey, sweetheart." He said with the same stressed out look on his face he was wearing before.
"Hey." I said with a small smile. "Still trying to figure out that password?" I asked as he nodded. "Yeah, I wish I could just text him and ask him what it is." He said then laughed.
"Although if I knew he would answer, then I would just ask him where he was." He said with a hint of sadness.
"I know this is hard. You're gonna find him though, I just know it." I said with a reassuring smile.
"I hope so." He said then looked at the screen. "What happened to your face?" He asked causing me to scrunch my brow.
"What?" I asked with confusion. "The side of your face is bruised. Did someone hit you?" He asked, his eyes going hard.
"No. Nobody hit me." I said with a sigh. "I had a seizure." I said as his face dropped. "Shit." Colby whispered as I shook my head.
"I don't want to talk about it..." I said quietly, looking away from the screen. "I mean I get that but it's something we need to discuss." He said as I looked back at the screen.
"No, it's not. It just happened, we know I have epilepsy." I said and turned on my side, getting comfortable.
"Yeah, but you've been seizure free for so long." He said with a hint of guilt.
"I think it's because I'm tired. That used to happen a lot." I said with a sigh.
"Don't worry about me. Worry about what's going on there so you can come back." I said causing him to smile slightly.
"Do you recognize where I am?" He asked then spun to show me that he was in his old office.
There were so many memories surrounding that space and although it wasn't the best time of my life, it was the place that I fell in love with Colby.
"It's weird seeing you there." I said quietly. "Yeah, it's weird being here. It seems like just yesterday you were sitting here while I worked." He said with a sigh.
"Times were just so simple back then." He said as I nodded.
"Yeah, and only mildly terrifying." I said with a laugh. "I couldn't keep up the act that I hated you for too long though." Colby said as I nodded. "You were whipped from the start." I said then yawned.
"You look exhausted, I should let you go." Colby said as I frowned and shook my head. "I don't want you to hang up." I said as he chuckled.
"I'll stay on the phone until you fall asleep. It'll be like I'm there with you." He said as I nodded.
I knew it was pathetic to be like this but Colby was my anchor in life. Being away from him while I was stressed and tired just made me more stressed.
"Promise?" I asked as he nodded. "I promise. Try to get some sleep, Jules. I'll sit with you." He said gently.
"Tell me about your day." I said and closed my eyes. "Okay." He said then started talking about his day.
I knew I was exhausted but I didn't realize how quickly I was able to fall asleep until I woke up to my alarm blaring.
"Fuck." I whispered then sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
Today was going to be exactly how yesterday was, only this time I had to pretend like I didn't feel like walking death.
My head still ached and the idea of going to work made me want to die but it was part of being an adult.
You just had to get up and do it even on days where you just want to lay in bed and cry.
I made breakfast and got the kids ready, then brought them to school.
When I got to work I tried to paint a smile on my face but I don't think I was doing that great of a job.
"Hey, Bri. You okay?" Austin asked as I wiped the counter. "I'm fine." I said and looked up at him.
"You have a bruise on your face, did your boyfriend hit you?" He asked as I shook my head. "No, he's not even in town." I said and went to go restock some cups.
"Oh, where is he?" He asked as I shook my head. "I really appreciate you checking up on me, but I'm not feeling good today so please just drop it." I said as he scrunched his brow.
"Are you sick?" He asked as I groaned. "No, I'm just not feeling good." I said and turned to walk away.
I wasn't feeling physically sick, other than my head hurting, I was more so exhausted and sad.
Everything was just ten times more stressful when you had to handle everything all by yourself but I didn't feel like explaining that.
"Alright...guess I'll leave you alone." Austin said then walked away.
I didn't mean to be a bitch, and Austin was really just being nice but when I was in a shit mood I wasn't the nicest person you've ever met.
"Don't mess with her, she's in a mood." Austin said as Haley walked up to me.
"What's going on?" She asked as I rolled my eyes. "I'm just not in the mood guys, it's best to leave me alone." I said as she frowned.
"I don't like seeing you sad." Haley said quietly. "Yeah, well it happens sometimes." I said then walked away.
I spent the rest of my shift cleaning things and trying to make myself power through. I didn't want to overwork myself because it might trigger a seizure.
"Bye, Bri. I hope your day gets a little better." Austin said as I clocked out. "Sorry for being bitchy..I'm just going through a lot right now." I said as he smiled.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I work with mostly women, this is a weekly occurrence." He said causing me to laugh.
"Thanks, Austin. See you later." I said then went to leave.
Once I was in the car I sped to get the kids. I was much later than I was yesterday which meant they were going to be grumpy.
"When is Colby coming back?" Carter asked as they piled into the car. "I don't know." I said simply, keeping my eyes forward.
"He needs to come back so we can get picked up with everyone else. It's so embarrassing." Jenna said as I shook my head.
"I'm doing the best I can." I said with a frown. I hated that we were only on day two of me doing drop off and pick up and the kids were getting annoyed.
I wanted Colby to come back just as much as they did since he made this all easier. Sure, he was better at getting them here and home on time.
I couldn't help that I was only one person.
I was doing the best I could.