"Hwang Hyunjin"
the name of Felix's loverboy rang loud and proud in the entire ceremony room as he walked up to the stage with a ring in his ears and a banging heart he shook hands with the chancellor and before he could begin walking off he was stopped "Oh, Hyunjin" the voice forced him to turn around as he saw chancellor holding a piece of paper once his hands were grabbing hold of the paper he walked off
before he could go back to sit with his peers his eyes caught a glimpse of Felix and he nearly smiled, the boy was standing with his mobile out recording him, eyes tearing and his lips pulled up into the widest smiles possible. Hyunjin's heart warmed at the sight, he could feel the proudness that radiated off of Felix and it made Hyunjin feel so happy, there was someone standing there so proud of him in front of everyone, he wasn't ashamed of Hyunjin, he was truly proud of him and god did it make Hyunjin want to stab himself in his heart
Soon enough, the ceremony had come to an end as everyone started to usher out of the ceremony hall to the venue "I think I pissed my pants a little getting up on that stage" Hyunjin's voice came from behind as Felix turned his head to look at him, turning off his mobile phone on which he was watching the pictures he took off Hyunjin "You did so well!" he squealed in utter joy, hands raising to cup Hyunjin's face who laughed. His heart melted watching the other just stare into his eyes with so much pride, he's never felt so loved and appreciated in his entire life "Thank you, Felix. So much" the other laughed, his eyes turning into crescents as he shook his head "you're being silly now, why are you thanking me?" He questioned, smile still intact "for being here" Hyunjin could've stated so much more but this seemed to have done the job as he gawked back into the warmth of Felix's eyes
"I should be thanking you--now before I start crying again let's go take pictures!" the boy beamed with excitement as he wiped away the mere tear that had managed to fall on the top of his cheek as Hyunjin smiled deeply, letting himself be dragged away by the younger. they stopped in front of a floral decor that seemed to be there for the sole purpose of photos considering the number of people that pooled around it "Stand here" Felix gently pushed Hyunjin into the center of the floral background and smiled taking out his mobile phone
"Okay, now smile!" Felix radiated brightly making Hyunjin roll his eyes and hold them there as the latter scoffed "Hyunjin!" he was really being childish today as he laughed it off awkwardly, the truth was he didn't know how to act when someone is taking pictures of him. so he held out his thumbs and smiled the fakest smiles he could've ever pulled, lips pursed tightly and eyebrows raised like he wasn't Hwang Hyunjin taking his graduation pictures but Harry Styles taking photos with fans
"you know what, never mind" Felix scoffed moving away his phone as he turned to walk away upsetedly "What? I'm trying now, I swear. I just look like that!" Hyunjin tried defending himself springing an arm around Felix's stomach and holding him from walking away "Okay I'll give you my best model face now, stop sulking" He ruffled the hair of the boy who smiled once again "Thank you!" Hyunjin chuckled gently, walking back to the decorative background and standing in front of it, and this time rather than looking at the camera he looked at the boy behind it, and as if on command his eyes lit up and so did the rest of his face
his lips rose in a beautiful smile as he noticed Felix shining under the bright sunlight, his own face twisted into an adoring smile and Hyunjin just couldn't help but deepen his smile as his heart picked up its pace. Hyunjin didn't even understand why the boy was so delighted by the idea of taking pictures but he didn't question, loving the gleaming smile on his face a little too much. "You look so handsome!" the compliment had rolled off of his tongue so casually that it nearly made Hyunjin feel absurd at how quickly his cheeks reddened and his eyes switched from adoring to shy
he hated it, how he--Hyunjin who wouldn't spare anyone a glance and wouldn't bat a lash when somebody would compliment him blushed at a mere praise by Felix, the boy who complimented people like he made a living off of it, he hated it, but he loved it all too well. he cleared his throat lowering his head, unable to hold his gaze on Felix any more. and maybe it wasn't too good of an idea to look away "Why thank you very much, Felix, you're not too bad yourself" the very same annoying voice Hyunjin wanted to never hear again echoed in his ears as he immediately looked up only to find Yeonjun smiling cheekily with his hand around Felix's shoulder
"oh- I" Felix's awkward chuckle resonated in the place as he looked over to his side and saw Yeonjun, their eyes met before Felix looked over at Hyunjin who had already begun thumping his feet on the ground and storming toward the two, grabbing hold of Felix's arm and pulling him away from the latter's grip "Jesus, why are you still here" Yeonjun scoffed followed by a shameless chuckle as he cleared his throat "I-" Hyunjin was cut off by a gentle pat on his chest as Felix followed whatever sentence he was about to say "are you done with your pictures, Yeonjun?" Felix quested and the friendliness in his tone made Hyunjin roll his eyes while his arm snaked around his waist once again, holding him protectively
but what he wasn't aware of was the desperation behind his voice that just wanted to tell Yeonjun to leave before these two got into another fight, he didn't want to ponder the cause of why Hyunjin was behaving so foully, he knew why he just didn't want to accept it "oh yea, I just came to click some with you--you're my new found best friend you know" He chuckled, eyes never leaving Felix's face and Hyunjin knew that gaze, behind those chocolate eyes were hearts and Hyunjin despised it, he hated how others looked at Felix the same way he looked at him
little was he aware, his gaze that fell over Felix was incomparable to anyone else's. his held more love than love itself ever could "with me? I'm flattered" Felix chuckled as well, his hand reaching to hold Hyunjin's which was wrapped around his waist, in a wavering attempt to comfort Hyunjin's clearly bothered aura "So?" Yeonjun cocked a brow as Felix's smile fell, he turned his head to look at Hyunjin almost as if asking for permission, The raven head looked down at him and something in his heart twitched--Felix shouldn't have to ask him for permission for anything, he doesn't own him nor does he control him
a train of guilt wrecked into his senses Hyunjin as he quickly parted himself from Felix "I-I'll do it" flashes of his mother's eyes tearing up just because his father would refuse to do everything she ever wanted to rush past him and he wanted nothing to do but run as his almost shaking hands took hold of Yeonjun's mobile phone as he now stood and angled it clicking the shutter icon multiple times, unaware of what he was capturing
his eyes looked up from the camera and onto the boy's as he felt a burning sensation spread through his chest, he recognized it as something people called jealousy yet he masked it. Yeonjun's arm over Felix's shoulder as they threw peace signs and pretty smiles displaying a chemistry that Hyunjin despised, he knew his own insecurities were seconds away from unleashing and making him do something wreckless but he held back on the door of his demons as tight as he could
this was Felix, he would never let his own ghosts haunt Felix and tear something that could be a beautiful tapestry for him "done" he murmured, shoving the phone into Yoenjun's hands and not sparing them another glance as he looked away from the two of them, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest as he looked around trying to appear nonchalant "it looks great!" Felix's bright voice came and Hyunjin didn't want to turn around and watch them be close again, he was jealous, he wanted Felix near him and only him but he didn't want to do what he's seen his hell-hound of a father do when he was young
so he clenched his jaw and wished for this moment to pass by him like the wind that blew over his face, his thoughts ran and ran until the tormenting pain he used to feel in his chest back then returned, tightening and agonizing. he let out a shuddering breath but before it could be given life a warm hand landed on his bicep, tearing his locked arms apart and locking his own with Hyunjin's as he cheerfully spoke with Yeonjun, eyes on the other boy while his body remained glued to Hyunjin, head occasionally falling over his shoulder like they were married with two children
Hyunjin looked at Felix with surprise but it was taken over by love as he sighed softly, this time out of relief and not agony. his insides soothing as he smiled gently, Felix was here, next to him, and he had nothing to fret over. his insecurities suddenly appeared so insignificant now that Felix held him
"Yeonjun! What in the fuck are you doing here?" a female voice distanced the two of the chattering males as they looked in the direction of it "Oh, I was just talking with my greatest friend that I had just made hours ago" Yeonjun cheekily answered the girl's question, once in the frame, Riya's chuckling face turned into a stoic one 'oh' was all her thoughts could think of "uh hi" she awkwardly greeted them as Felix greeted her back. she didn't want to be rude by staring at them but she couldn't help when the brunette was clinging to Hyunjin as if his life depended on it, and the worst part was that Hyunjin let him, he even caressed his hand at every chance he got and it only made Riya fall deeper into the pit of her unrequited love abyss
"Rosie was looking for you, she wants to ask something about the party" The awkwardness in her tone made Yeonjun confused, usually Riya was a cheerful girl so why was she acting so bizarre now? "okay, well there she is" Yeonjun raised his hand and shook it in the air as a blond girl walked toward them, shooting middle fingers toward Yeonjun who returned the act "why are you guys still here? the rest of us are all leaving for dinner" her voice was silky and honey-like
Felix looked at her up and down, taking in her attire with attentiveness. "and these are?" she looked over at Hyunjin and Felix who stood there silently "he's my friend and he's his boyfriend" Yeonjun's remark caught all of them off-guard "oh" came the blond girl's response while Riya stood there horrifiedly, she had an idea that would be the case between the two of them but she never expected it to actually be confirmed right in front of her "oh no! we--we're not, we- boyfriends!" Felix blabbered, shaking his hands in front of their faces with his eyes widened
relief rushed over Riya while Hyunjin stood there with a bitter expression on his face, 'yea right, we're not boyfriends' his thoughts pondered as he licked his lips and remained silent "Jesus, Yeonjun I've told you a billion times not to assume people's relationship status" a scolding statement came from the blond girl as she smacked the back of Yonjun's head who stared at Felix dumbfoundedly "you--he's not?!" he was more surprised then anyone in this circle "you're single?" his face twisted into a bright smile "y-yea" Felix answered, quite unsure himself
"Thank fuck" the boy murmured under his breath but it was loud enough for nearly all of them to hear "Why will you even assume that what is wrong with you! they clearly look like good friends, besides, Hyunjin is straight" came Riya's argument which only confused the already confused trio further; Hyunjin, Felix, and the blond girl. the raven head raised a brow at Riya questioning how she knew he was straight as she cleared her throat and dodged Hyunjin's very visibly questioning eyes on her
"You guys are fucking up my mind, I need alcohol to go through this" the blond exclaimed shaking her head "No I only presumed that because he was wearing a turtle neck when it's like a thousand degrees and Hyunjin's got like pretty bad marks all over his neck and jaw so he's clearly banged someone, they're sticking to each other like magnets and then he like nearly punched me in the face because I was 'invading Felix's personal space' it seems very boyfriend-esque you know" Yeonjun blabbered on and on to Riya while the three of them stood quietly
every color on the girl's face flushed into nothing but ache as she stared at Yeonjun who still hadn't learned how to shut up "but sheesh, he's single so no worries!" Yeonjun smiled clapping his hands together. Hyunjin's teeth could've fallen out by now due to how much he's been gritting them, his eyes growing red as he continued to glare at Yeonjun without even blinking. "we're leaving" Hyunjin wished he could tolerate this bullshit any longer because he knew Felix would've wanted to but alas, he really couldn't bear their constant bickering that gave him a headache and Yeonjun's shameless attempts of flirting with Felix
they turned around to walk away but another loud voice held them back "oh wait, Felix!" Yeonjun's voice echoed making Felix turn his head to look at him while Hyunjin stood there his back facing them with his eyes shut tight and jaw clenched "Why don't you join us for dinner? after that we'll go straight to my farmhouse for my after-graduation party, it's going to be so much fun! you're getting a V.V.IP invite as I'm inviting you first hand" his winks were really not making this entire situation any better
Felix chewed on his bottom lip, trying to find a way out of this 'honesty is the best policy' his thoughts echoed as he sighed and put on another smile "I would've loved to Yeonjun, genuinely. but I have plans with Hyunjin" he answered making Yeonjun sigh "well, okay, but you'll still come to the party right? tell me you will" the latter persisted leaving Felix with no choice, and before Hyunjin could turn around and shut him out Felix answered "sure, just send me the location. you already have my number" and with another warm smile and a wave the two began walking away
'you already have my number? when did they exchange contacts?' Hyunjin couldn't help but think as they walked hand in hand toward their cab which Hyunjin had booked earlier. opening the door for Felix, Hyunjin was suddenly stopped in his actions as he heard a female voice behind him, god, who was it now? he really couldn't take any more human interaction anymore. all he wanted was to go home and cuddle with Felix until the sun set and rose
"Hyunjin"
and when he turned, there stood his mother smiling widely "Hello, my son, congratulations" Her voice was sweet yet Hyunjin had no reaction to it "Hello, Felix" she patted the brunette's head who quickly bowed and smiled warmly at her "What are you doing here?" Hyunjin's voice came out quivering and almost fretful "Well, it's my son's graduation. Do you not believe I have a right to be here?" Hyunjin's brows were furrowed and lips parted
'if she's here then...' like his worst fears have been personified a voice beamed from behind his mother "Congratulations, Hwang Hyunjin. You finally made it" It was taunting and bitter and Hyunjin hated it just as much. His father stood in front of him, tall and proud making his blood boil "And even today, even today you couldn't refrain yourself from bringing dirt to our name could you? Fighting with the Chois knowing very well our accommodation with them"
Hyunjin, in fact, was not aware of what his father was on about but he got a clue he was referring to the boy he's fought earlier "I don't know what you're talking about, nor do I have any interest. Let's go Felix" he turned toward Felix and grabbed his hand gently before turning toward their cab again "stop" he sighed deeply, every nerve in his body being set ablaze as he turned around again, he knew if he hadn't this mess would've only worsened so he really had no other choice but to face his father "I'm holding a celebratory party for your mere accomplishment, due to the fact that you barely give us anything to be proud of and brag about I'll make do with this" he sounded displeased and dishonored
and Hyunjin's insides shattered so hard at the comment, he liked to believe he didn't care about his Father's words when the truth was that he cared, very much. all his confidence slipped like water from a leaking faucet and he always failed to seal it. he had to remind himself why he was the way he was, why he purposefully failed in life "Have a safe ride back, Son" came his mother's voice when he tore his gaze away from his father and ignored him completely, putting a hand on Felix's back and helping him get inside the cab
but much to his surprise, the boy stood still, eyes darting at his father like he'd set him ablaze with just his gaze and it shocked Hyunjin, Felix was never the kind to glare at people so where was this visible anger coming from? his brows furrowed when he looked over at his father who held the competition, glaring right back at Felix as if daring him to do one more bold thing and he'll shatter his house of cards
"Mr. Hwang, I mean no harm or disrespect but maybe you should be more considerate of your son's accomplishments rather than putting him down any chance you get"
his voice was cold and stern, in a tone Hyunjin has never heard before. his eyes were slightly enlarged but his heart felt warm, someone for the first time in his entire life had stood up for him that too against his father, not even his own mother dared to go as far as using such a tone and speaking in such a manner against his father and something about that made him want to wrap his arms around Felix and kiss him, tell him how much this meant to him. the extent of his zeal could never be worded
Felix's hand rose to grab Hyunjin's as he seated himself in the cab and let Hyunjin follow him, shutting the door all the boy could do was stare at their intertwined hands with a foolish smile on his lips as he rubbed his thumb over Felix's tiny hand in a loving manner, the car started and Hyunjin's gaze remained intact. out of his world, he was brought by a soft sob as he hurriedly looked over to his shoulder his smile falling the second his eyes took hold of Felix crying "Felix? What's wrong?" his voice was lilted with worry
"I just--why do you let him treat you like that? I saw you doubted yourself the second he said it! I saw your eyes and it makes me so angry, you're so much better than what he says about you" Felix's sobs got louder as the driver in the front gazed at them through the rearview "Oh Felix' Hyunjin smiled at the boy and his words, pulling him into his arms like he had pictured earlier as he kissed his head "you say as if you defend yourself in front of all those pricks" Hyunjin complained running his hand through Felix's soft hair
"That's different! I don't let them define my worth!" well, that was a lie but we won't question it. Hyunjin shook his head, letting out a deep sigh "Please don't let his words make you think anything less, Jinnie" Hyunjin's heart skipped a beat when Felix looked up from his chest, his eyes and lashes wet from tears, nose and cheeks red while his lips swell up from all the chewing. how was he still so perfect? "I won't, lix, don't worry. As long as you're with me, My Felix, I'll be fine...we'll be fine"
Hyunjin's words should've been comforting, then why did they sting? they should've been sweet then why did the taste so bitter in Felix's mouth? 'as long as I'm here...but I'm not here for long' and there it was, the reason for the leaping of Felix's heart as he lowered his head to rest it against Hyunjin's chest. closing his eyes and letting his fears haunt his thoughts, letting his voices speak, he didn't care, not right now at least, his voices and his ghosts didn't matter right now, what mattered was Hyunjin's heart beat against his ear echoing in his senses and soothing his pains
his hand in his hair and the mouth that repeatedly kissed his head, the arms that held him, and the boy that loved him, this was enough.
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Felix's eyes frantically paced from the front door to the kitchen counter, his heart racing a thousand beats per second and his head as hazy as it could've been. he set the pecan pie on the table and sighed deeply in relief, everything had been set and it looked okay to Felix now all he had to do was pray that Hyunjin would like it too. he had sent the boy away to get some 'salt' which they ran out of before they could even reach their apartment door, and even though poor Hyunjin was tired he didn't complain or even think twice and turned on his feet to get the 'salt' they've run out of
Felix had prepared this surprise for the latter last night, he had made a few food dishes he knew Hyunjin liked beforehand so he just needed time to set the table now. he's baked him a cake and the brownies he seemed to love so very much, it was surprising how he managed to do all of that without Hyunjin discovering. nevertheless, he lit up the candle on top of the cake, before he could even put down the matchbox, the door to their home opened spreading a warm smile on Felix's face
Hyunjin closed the door and took off his shoes, unaware of what was happening behind his back. and as soon as he turned around his eyes widened and so did his mouth while Felix laughed at his reaction "What is this" he whispered walking closer to the counter that was filled with numerous foods "Did you cook this?" his amusement vanished and so did his bright expression as he deadpanned at Felix making him roll his eyes "come on! It's only for now so rather than being mad, enjoy this" Felis pushed him down on the seat and sat next to him, serving him before he grabbed a spoon to feed Hyunjin
"take it as a reward for working so hard" his smile never leaving his face as he contentedly watched Hyunjin eat while all the other did was stare at his face holding back his tears, his entire life all he ever wanted was to be loved and cherished, and here he was sitting next to the boy who cooked him all these meals just to celebrate his stupid graduation, his stupid graduation. since when did he start mattering so much?
he chewed and swallowed while Felix went on about how proud he felt of Hyunjin, constantly praising him and asking him how the food is. what did he do to deserve this angel? he leaned in, holding Felix's face as gently as he could, and pulled Felix in to kiss his forehead, his heart wanted to capture those lips but he'd never dare go further than he was allowed to. Felix's nonstop rant suddenly came to a halt as his heart did too, "I'm so grateful for you, Felix" his voice couldn't be more sincere and Felix's heart couldn't be more full
he pulled away only to attach their foreheads with a sweet smile on his lips as he closed his eyes, but Felix kept his open staring at Hyunjin's face with so many thoughts ringing in his head, only now did he realize he's never answered Hyunjin for his confession of love, he never gave Hyunjin a clear answer, he never told him yes or no, never let him know that yes he felt the same, yes his heart ached the same for Hyunjin as his' did for Felix, never told him how grateful he was for Hyunjin and how much he cherished his presence and everything else about him
and somehow even after all these days he still couldn't bare the strength in him to word out anything, too afraid. so all he did was lean in and attach their lips in the sweetest of kisses possible.
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Felix recording Hyunjin gave the same vibes as kris jenner in Thank u, next