SANTIAGO'S POV
Six weeks after the riot, McKinley finally forgives us and restores back all our privileges. The past one month and a half has been hell especially being unable to communicate with family and friends on the outside. But that has all changed because now we are allowed to make phone calls, receive visitors, send and receive letters. I haven't missed a single one of my letters because Finn has been sneaking them to me but it's nice to know that he won't have to go through so much trouble anymore. I haven't talked to Diego since the riot but he'll be coming to visit me later today and I can't wait to see him.
As I wait for him to arrive, I'm out in the courtyard getting some much needed fresh air. Today is a nice day, the sun is warm instead of hot, inmates are in a good mood and the CO's are less on guard so I'm enjoying getting some much needed vitamin D with Julius by my side.
"I think you have attachment issues." I mumble softly with my eyes closed.
I feel Julius shift next to me, followed by his gaze boring into my skull.
"I do not." Julius scoffs defensively.
"Yes you do, can you remember the last time we weren't together. Dude you even take showers and go to the bathroom the same time that I do." I question him.
"I thought you liked having me around." Julius mumbles softly.
"I do but you've got to learn some independence. We've been working together for months to make you stronger. We'll never know if you are when you're always stuck by my side with me here to defend you." I advise him.
Julius goes silent on me and I would have thought he left except I can still feel him breathing next to me. Finally after a couple of minutes of silence he speaks up.
"You're the only person who looks out for me in here. I'm scared that if you're not around I'll get attacked again." Julius expresses.
The weight of his words have me sitting up so we can have a proper conversation. Julius sits up as well and turns to face me.
"Julius the man you are right now is not the same kid that got attacked. And honestly nobody would dare touch you, they know you are under my protection especially after what happened to the last guy who laid his hands on you. You need to trust yourself and trust what we've been working towards, making you stronger. You are stronger than you know." I encourage him.
I've personally been a witness to how far the kid has come. He's stronger than ever now, knows when to keep his mouth shut and what boundaries not to cross. I've made a good inmate out of him but he's yet to believe that.
"I'm getting out soon. What will happen when you're here alone? You need to start adjusting to when I won't be around anymore." I add.
At the mention of this Julius' countenance turns even more sour. I know he is happy that I am being set free, he just doesn't want to accept that he'll be here alone without me.
"I'm not strong like you." Julius confesses sadly.
"No you aren't but you are stronger than you think you are. I've seen people crumble and commit suicide after getting sexually assaulted in here. But not you, you picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and chose to work on yourself. If that's not strength then I don't know what is." I reassure him.
Julius frown finally turns upside down as the smallest smile appears on his face.
"Thanks Santi, you're a really good friend." Julius replies.
"I know but you still need to promise me to work on your independence before I leave. It's the only way you'll be able to survive once I'm gone." I demand softly.
"I promise." He assures me.
"Good, now enough talking." I grunt done with this conversation.
"You started the conversation, not me." Julius defends.
"Well now I'm ending it." I retort lying back on the grass.
Julius does the same and just to make sure he doesn't speak to me again, I retrieve Hannah's latest letter from my pocket so I can reread it again. Finn delivered it to me before the ban was lifted and it's by far my favourite letter from her. I can't wait to speak to her soon so I can tease her about it.
The first thing I noticed after opening Hannah's letter is that her handwriting was kind of sloppy and she put too many kisses on it. It looks like a letter from a kindergartenner. After reading the first sentence, it all made sense and now I can't stop rereading it.
Dear Cesar,
Hello there my handsome man. WARNING!!! I'm writing this while slightly drunk. That's a lie, I'm wasted but I couldn't stop thinking about you so no amount of alcohol is going to stop me from writing to you.
Nothing I say in this letter can or will be used against me. I will deny everything except for the fact that I'm dating the most handsome man in the world. Do you know how handsome you are? I mean gosh, the first time I saw you, I thought you were a model. All I wanted to do was throw myself at you but then I couldn't. When you're out of there, don't blame me if I'm unable to keep my hands off you. I've already warned you and we have a lot of making up to do. We've lost so much time being apart but you'll be coming to me soon so we'll make up for lost time.
Jada's wedding is in a week and we just got home from the best night ever. It was her bachelorette party and it was so much fun. I think we may have given ourselves a bit of alcohol poisoning but it was so worth it. I'll be sweating alcohol out of my pores till the wedding but then again, so worth it. There were strippers, so many of them dressed like policemen and firefighters. I got a lap dance. I didn't want to at first but the girls forced me and it felt good but I promise you I did not enjoy it. Yes I did. What am I saying? I did enjoy it.
All I wanted to do was tell you as soon as we got home so that's why I'm writing to you. I wish you could have been there, maybe you would have given me a lap dance or I'd have given you one. I am a very good dancer.
I still have no idea how Renee convinced the guys to let us go to a strip club. They went to one of those boring men's clubs where you do nothing but sit, drink whiskey and smoke cigars all night. So boring. We wanted something different and we had it.
Now we're back home, Renee and Jada are passed out on my bed and I'm sitting in the kitchen drinking water and writing to you.
I miss you so much, do you miss me? I know you do.
My sunflowers died but I still have my bracelet on, I never take it off except for when I shower and even then sometimes I forget to. Every time I look at it, I can't help but smile because what you did for me on my birthday is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. You are perfect Cesar and I can't believe that you're all mine. I can't wait for the day when you'll be free so we can be together again. I'll definitely be able to show you just how much you mean to me.
Okay that's enough now, I'm feeling sleepy and I need to go mail this before I forget or worse realize what I've just written in it.
We'll talk soon Cesar. I miss you, take care of yourself.
Yours Truly,
Hannah Claire Johnson
Oh my beautiful beautiful girl, how much I miss you. I definitely look forward to seeing drunk Hannah in person. This letter from her looks like a diary entry but it's so much better than when she filters her words.
I trust Hannah enough that the mention of her going to a strip club with her friends doesn't faze me. I know she respects me and what we have and besides she was just having fun with her friends. I've seen how bad bachelorette parties can be but if they managed to get themselves home at the end of the night, then it wasn't so bad. I'm just glad to hear that they had fun.
I'm rereading my favorite parts when someone snatches the letter right out of my hands. It's a good thing I was holding it loosely otherwise it would be in pieces. I glare up at the shadow looming over me and its Rodrigo, Moreno's right hand man. Rodrigo has half of the gang flanking but without Moreno in sight.
I sit up and gently nudge Julius who is dozing off next to me. He startles awake and sits up.
"Can I have that back?" I request feeling anger boiling at the pit of my stomach.
"Say please." Rodrigo teases.
I know he's just trying to rile me up, use the few minutes of power that he has before Moreno shows up. Unluckily for him, I am not in the mood to get into a fight especially with a power hungry twat like him.
"Please, can I have my letter back." I reply.
Julius looks at me confused wondering why I'm giving into a bully but maybe this can turn into another teaching moment. It doesn't always have to be a fists kind of fight though I have a feeling this will turn into one pretty fast if I don't get that letter back.
"No!" Rodrigo replies with a laugh and he's soon joined in by the rest of his posse.
I get up and Julius does the same looking ready to fight if this turns into one. I really hope it doesn't. I don't want to risk my parole because of a stupid manchild.
"My letter. Please." I grit out holding my hand out.
"I said no." Rodrigo retorts handing it to the goon behind him.
They start reading it, snickering like middle schoolers making kissing faces. My last straw is when they start mocking Hannah. I do not appreciate it when someone makes fun of my woman.
"One last change Rodrigo or when I'm done with you, you won't have hands to take people's things away anymore." I demand trying to maintain my cool.
"So just because you're getting out, you think you're a hot shot now." Rodrigo mocks shoving me back but I barely move.
His disgusting breath is in my face, his hands are on me and I definitely do not like the blatant disrespect of me and my girl. I don't care how he found out that I am getting out, Moreno probably told him or he heard it from someone else. Someone being up for parole or released isn't exactly a secret.
"Listen Rodrigo, it's okay to have a small dick, that's not your fault but to have a tiny brain as well, now that's entirely on you." I mock.
Julius snickers next to me and that only pissed Rodrigo off even more.
"Are you calling me stupid ombre?" Rodrigo spits out.
"Yes I am." I grin at him waiting for what's coming next.
Rodrigo does not disappoint and I see his fist coming from a mile away. He played right into my charade and struck first. Now when I break both his hands, it'll be self defense.
I catch his fist in my hand before he can make contact and twist it behind his back. The resounding result is a satisfying crack as I break his arm. He goes down on one knee with a painful scream attracting the attention of his posse who were busy making fun of my letter.
"One move and I break his other hand." I threaten.
I push Rodrigo to the ground, my boot on his back as I pull his left unbroken hand up in a painful position.
My words have them freezing in position because they know I'm not kidding. I've already broken one hand, I'm not afraid to break the other one.
"Give me back my letter." I demand.
They hesitate so I pull Rodrigo's hand again making him yell.
"Give it to him." Rodrigo cries and its immediately shoved towards me.
"Julius..."
The kid takes it and folds it up carefully putting it back in my pocket.
"Now, the next time either of you fools decide to mess with me remember that I was in this game before any of you could learn how to tie your shoe laces. Just because I don't show it, don't mean I'm weak. Do I make myself clear?" I seeth.
Nobody says anything until I pull Rodrigo's hand back again making him squeal in more pain.
"I said do I make myself clear?" I repeat.
"Yes." They all yell.
Just to make myself more clear I break Rodrigo's other arm listening to the sound of it crack with a menacing smile on my face. I kick him away towards his posse and they all hover him like worker bees to their queen.
"What's going on here?" Moreno booms as he makes his way towards us.
"I was just teaching your mutts a lesson. Keep them away from me or next time I'll break more than two arms." I grit out bumping my shoulder against his for good measure as I walk away.
My fight is not with Moreno but he is incharge, he should keep them in line. Rodrigo thinks he's a big shot just because he's second in command. Well I was second in command on the outside. If I wanted to here at FCI, I would have easily taken the crown from Moreno but he was already on the throne and I didn't want to change the power dynamic so I agreed to keep my head down. Now these kids who've been in the game a couple of years think they can mess with me just because I'm quiet, definitely not. Hopefully they have learnt their lesson because next time there will be a body.
"Damn boss, that was badass." Julius cheers as he follows me back inside.
I don't bother with a reply because I am still wound up with my adrenaline rush spiking.
"You need to teach me how to break bones like that." Julius pleads.
"We'll see." I reply forcing myself to calm down.
Before we can get to our cell, we run into Finn.
"Delgado you have a visitor." He announces.
Finally, Diego is here.
"Put this away for me." I say to Julius handing him the letter.
"I will, say hello to Diego for me." He replies.
I nod and let Finn guide me away.
"You're not gonna cuff me." I ask Finn.
"Why? Are you planning on shanking me or running away?" Finn replies.
"No."
"Then we're good. That's Callahan's thing anyway. I know you're a good guy Delgado." Finn assures me.
"Thanks."
"Enjoy your visit." He replies as the door to the visitation room opens up to reveal my small brother.
He launches himself at me, like he always does and I manage to catch him in time.
"Hermano."
"Big bro." He cries holding on tightly.
I hug him back having missed him terribly.
"Why do you keep disappearing on me?" Diego scolds pulling back as he wipes off a couple of tears.
"I'm sorry, it was never my intention. The riot put everything on lockdown." I reply as we both sit.
"I know, Hannah told me. He friends invited me over for her surprise birthday party." He explains.
"Did you have fun? I hope you didn't drink." I inquire.
I know Diego is left unsupervised a lot so he can drink without me knowing but I trust him to be honest with him. It's not like I can beat him up if he's drinking but without trust our relationship would be moving in the wrong direction. I need to know that I can trust him to live on his own and so far it's been good.
"Hannah wouldn't let me." Diego mumbles disappointedly.
"That's my girl. She was right to do that. You're not old enough yet." I grin with a proud smile.
"I know that and its okay but seriously Santi? What happened? I was really worried." Diego asks desperate for answers.
I owe him an explanation so I decide to tell him everything from the moment of Hannah's first day at the prison.
"Wow, that's a lot. Hannah must have been scared." Diego says once I tell him everything.
"She was but I wouldn't have let anything happen to her." I assert.
I would give my life for Hannah and Diego without a second thought. As long as I'm around and able to protect them, they never have to fear.
"I know. So you two finally met huh?" Diego teases.
"Yes, she's amazing." I sigh happily recalling the feeling of kissing her and holding her in my arms all night.
"I told you that she is." Diego grins.
"And I confirmed it for myself. But now let's talk about you. There's only a couple of weeks left then it's off to Brown." I ask.
"Yes I'm really excited, I just wish you'd be there to take me." Diego expresses sadly.
"You'll be okay hermano. I know it seems far and it is because you'll literally be on the other side of the country but this is your chance to go out into the world and be your own man." I encourage.
"I know." He nods sadly.
I'm so tempted to tell him that I'll be getting out soon but I know it won't be in time so see him off to Brown. I'll just have to surprise him when I'm released. My parole hearing is on Monday and my lawyer is good, as he should be considering what I'm paying him so I'm positive the whole process will run smoothly.
"On the brighter side, I'm going to the wedding tomorrow. Jada and Tom invited Sofia and I." Diego perks up changing the topic.
"You're already part of the family I see." I chide bumping his shoulder.
"They are really nice people, I know you'll think so once you meet them." Diego praises.
I'm happy that Hannah pulled him into the fold and that he has people who can guide him and give him advice other than me.
"I'll take your word for it." I nod with a smirk.
I known I'll experience some resistance from Hannah's friends at first but I am ready for it. I know I'll have to earn their trust and show them that I am worthy of her, that I am more than my rap sheet.
"If Hannah and her team were attacked here, who administered the second dose of the vaccine?" Diego asks.
"The resident doctor. He did it all on his one. It took him a whole week to cover the whole prison." I explain.
McKinley refused to bring in another team for fear of past incidents reoccurring. I approved his decision a hundred percent. There was no need to put any more doctors or nurses at risk.
Diego gets into a rant about his current job and knowing that our time is limited, I listen keenly giving my input where needed.
Our visit ends too soon and the goodbye is as emotional as always.
"Be good, take care of yourself." I demand softly as we hug goodbye.
"I will, stay safe." Diego responds.
"Always." I assure him.
I pull away and Finn escorts me out. I know that the next time I'm seeing my brother will be in person and that makes me very happy.