You gradually regain your strength over the next few hours, drinking more strengthening potions and other suspicious elixirs offered to you by Madam Pomfrey. This morning at dawn, Severus was still sitting by your bedside, holding your hand. When 8 o'clock rolled around, he had given you a sad look, sorry he had to go get ready for his class. "I'll be back around noon, I promise," He says in a gentle, low voice, and Madam Pomfrey looks at you with surprise as he leaves. "You know, I've never seen that man take to a student as much as he has to you. You must've really gave him a scare––he stayed here at your bedside all through the night."
You blush and look away, wondering if she had seen Severus holding your hand, replying quietly, "Any professor would've done the same." "Any professor but Severus," she corrects, her brow arched. "Alright, one more," she says handing you a small vial of green liquid. Your stomach churns at the sight, but you comply.
Before class starts, Peter comes into the ward and rushes over to you. "Y/n, you silly git...what have you done this time?" he asks with a concerned but friendly laugh. "Oh, you know me...nearly getting myself killed over a man," You say sarcastically. You both laugh as you explain the situation to him, the whole ordeal sounding rather silly now.
"Oi, Y/n...I'm sorry you went through that, though. It's understandable that you'd be so upset. You know, I think Professor Snape really is a positive influence in your life. I've known you since year four and have never seen you so happy. Do you think McGonagall will allow the relationship to continue?" You sigh softly, "Honestly, I don't know...but I've decided that if she asks us to keep our distance from one another, I'll respect her wishes. She does know what's best for her students and staff...however, once I'm no longer a student and he's no longer staff, we'll be deciding for ourselves what we want to do."
Peter smiles gently, "Any idea what that might be?" You blush, a dreamy look in your eye, "You can't tell anyone this...but Sever––Professor Snape..." you laugh, "bought a small cottage on a few acres of land in the English countryside...that's where we went for our holiday, and...he's asked me to come live with him once I graduate," you exhale, so happy to have finally gotten to tell someone. Peter's eyes light up with excitement for you, "Y/n, that's fantastic! Sounds perfect for you, you're a bit of an outdoorsy witch, aren't ya? And the dungeon bat can grow ingredients for his potions."
You laugh and tell him all about your vacation, how Snape chopped down the perfect Christmas tree for you, watching Die Hard together, and the way he cooked for you. Peter tells you about his time away with Rupert and how they got a little B&B in Inverness, spending the holiday visiting museums, art galleries, and a fair amount of it in a hot tub, ordering plenty of room service.
"I can't believe we're only talking about this all now," you say contentedly. "Well, to be honest, you've been quite miserable, Y/n. I wasn't gonna talk about my love life while you were unable to have your own," His eyes look at you compassionately. You smile at him, "You really are an excellent friend, Peter," and he finally gets up to head to class. "Good luck with Professor Sunshine," he calls with a smile and a wink as he walks away.
At lunchtime, Angel, Georgia, and Amy come visit you. "Hey, Y/n!" They coo in greeting and you return a weak smile. "Honestly...what were you doing out there?" You look down at your hands in your lap, wondering how to respond. "Something a bit...upsetting happened and I just wanted to be alone...and I didn't think hypothermia happened unless you were in the North Pole or something," you laugh softly at yourself.
"Hypothermia? Y/n, you could've died!" says Amy, her eyes filled with worry. "Pretty lucky how Professor Snape knew to find you out there..." Angel says suspiciously. Your heart thuds and you smile, "Oh, well he said he overheard you all talking about me and that you saw me run that way. So I suppose I really have you all to thank," you smile appreciatively, but they don't meet your gaze. Your brow knits together curiously for a moment before you say, "Honestly, the whole thing was quite ridiculous. But I'm feeling much better now."
"Well, we're so glad to hear it, Y/n," Georgia was saying, her hand patting your arm. "Please, if you need anything, let us know. I can bring you stuff from the dorm or food from the Hall. Just name it," You smile at her gratefully, "Thank you, Georgia. I really do appreciate that a lot."
The girls fill you in on morning classes, Amy handing you notes she took from your first two that you missed. After a little while Snape enters the ward, his dark gaze suddenly becoming serpentine, narrowing in on the girls sitting around your hospital bed. He says nothing and holds his stern gaze. Angel finally says in a shaky voice, "Um, we're gonna go, Y/n." "Let me know if you need anything," Georgia reminds you. "Hope you feel better," Angel says sweetly, then looking up at Snape, they silently file out of the room.
You sense the tension but don't know exactly what to make of it. He is quite intimidating...I suppose I would react the same way if I wasn't shagging him. A look of amusement dances behind his eyes for a moment and you smile at him. "Professor." "Miss Y/n..." his voice still carries some of the sternness from his morning classes, and you gaze at him with a gentle smile. His eyes soften, "How are you feeling?"
You sigh happily, "Much, much better now that you're here." He smiles at you, coming to your bedside. He glances at the doorway, checking for any visitors. When he's satisfied with the level of privacy, he stoops down and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek, making you smile and blush. He sits and talks with you for a few minutes as you eat the lunch Madam Pomfrey brought you on a tray. It wasn't exactly what the others were eating in the Great Hall––mostly flavorless mush, but it needed to be something easy on your stomach.
"But you're a super powerful wizard. How hard can it be?" He laughs softly, clearly entertained by your demands, "Casting a spell to make your food taste different? I could do it...but where's the lesson in that?" He smirks. Your brow furrows in mock anger. "Also...if I change the composition of your food, it's no longer something easily digestible. Adding magic will only complicate the consistency and wreak havoc on your digestive system." He cocks his brow like a smart-ass. You huff at him, actually annoyed as you continue eating your gruel. He smirks at you with smug amusement.
"Have you had many visitors?" "Oh, a few. Peter came to check on me this morning before class. And then the girls came just now. They're so sweet, they told me they'd bring me food or anything I needed. I told them that they're the reason you found me, so I owe them for that," You smile and meet his gaze, but he averts it and a hardness comes over his eyes.
You narrow your eyes, your mind working to solve this new puzzle. The clock reads 12:58 and Snape rises slowly, "Duty calls. I'll see you tonight, after," he smiles at you, lifts your hand to his lips and kisses it gently before disappearing.
You begin wondering what the issue was with your friends. Why had they acted so strangely when you thanked them? And why had Severus acted strange when he saw them?
Severus finally dismisses the last class of the day, sinking into his office chair. He exhales an exhausted sigh, "Thank Merlin she's alive...and I suppose she's right––she might not be if it hadn't been for her little friends. Even if they are devious little half-wits." He closes his eyes and rests his head against the back of his desk chair, not realizing how exhausted he was.
He nods off for a moment then jerks awake again. "After such an ordeal, I wonder what Minerva will have me do...I can keep my distance if necessary, and I believe she can too. We've only a few months left...and perhaps we can find a way to spend time together without the intimate aspect...though that would be quite difficult...but nothing is more difficult than going on pretending she doesn't exist."
After a few more minutes of contemplation, he breathes deeply, stands and exits the classroom. There are three deceptive little witches he needs to talk to. He makes his way through the halls and up the staircase to Ravenclaw Tower.
He approaches the common room and hears voices, "All she said was that something "upsetting" happened, we don't know that, Angel," The brunette was saying. "Well, if you ask me, there's something else going on with her. She's hiding something," the know-it-all was saying.
"Honestly, is it even our business what's wrong with her?" There's a pause. "You know...I think I saw her sneaking off with someone else," "What, you mean besides Peter?" "Yep...Josh Philiman. I saw them canoodling together in the hall a couple nights ago after she snuck out of our dorm. I bet he broke it off when he realized how unstable she was and she took off like that because she was having a meltdown over it," Snape's eyes narrow, his brow furrowed in both rage and surprise. "Y/n...why are you friends with these girls?"
"Come on, Angel. You don't really believe that, do you?" "Believe what? What I saw with my own eyes? And you can't deny she snuck out. Georgia and I both saw her leave, five 'til 11. She thinks she's discreet but she's not," She laughs.
After a moment of quiet she chimes in again, "Honestly you guys...I'm just bringing this up because I care about her. She's acting completely unstable and it almost got her killed. We need to find out what's going on so we can look after her. It's about giving her the support she needs." The other girls agree with the blonde in quiet murmurs.
Snape stands there dumbfounded for a moment, wondering whether to confront these girls or to tell you about them first. "Fuck it, nothing like inspiring fear into the hearts of students." Snape rounds the corner and suddenly his intimidating, dark form fills the doorway, the girls' eyes widening in surprise.
"P...Professor," Amy says. His brow cocks in annoyance. "You know...gossip is quite an...unbecoming pastime to indulge in. It signals a weak and stupid mind." Angel's cheeks grow red with anger and Snape smirks at the girls, their mouths agape in surprise.
"Don't bother offering your fake and patronizing sympathy to Miss Y/n, I'm quite sure she will no longer be requiring your...how did you put it? "Support."" His brow cocks once more, a smug look on his face as he disappears in a flourish of his cape.
By the next afternoon, Madam Pomfrey has given you the all-clear and released you from the hospital. You stretch your bones, so happy to finally be free to move about again. The first thing you do is head outside to breathe in the crisp winter air. It's a sunny day out and you head to your favorite spot overlooking the lake, beneath a beautiful oak.
The deep indigo sky reflects on the surface of the water as you gaze into it, bringing you a sense of calm and stability. The wind lifts and creates tiny ripples across the lake, rustling the bare branches of the trees in the nearby forest. You smell the air and pick up subtle notes of wood, musk, and damp earth. The wind on your face makes you feel a sense of refreshment, cutting through the staleness of being bed-ridden for so many days. You stare into the water and begin contemplating your future.
If Professor McGonagall continues to forbid your meetings with Severus, perhaps you can manage another way to stay together. Just because you can't be intimate together doesn't necessarily mean you have to break up until the end of term. You can still write letters to one another, or join each other in your mind.
And perhaps you can have lunch together every once in a while, somewhere off-campus on a weekend. One thing's for certain, you'll have to stop teasing each other in class. It never ends well...well, it does end well and that's the problem.
You head back to your dorm and collapse onto your bed, pulling out your old journal of confessions about Severus. You flip through the pages and laugh softly at the things you wrote and the desperation you wrote them with. Your breathing quickens when you find the page he read aloud to you that night in his dungeon...your first night together. You bite your lip absentmindedly when Angel enters the room with the others and glances over at you.
"Whatcha reading?" Your eyes dart up to hers and you quickly close the journal. "Oh, nothing. I was just looking at an old notebook from last year." You chuckle, trying to seem nonchalant.
"For Professor Snape?" Amy asks, and your heart stops beating entirely. You die a thousand deaths and come back to life from sheer adrenaline. "Uh...what?" Your face goes completely pale before Amy laughs and points to the front of the book where you'd written 'Potions'. "For his class?"
Your wide eyes soften in relief and you laugh, "Oh...yes, for potions class." You put the notebook away, thanking Merlin it wasn't what you thought. "Quite a miserable old creep," Angel says quietly. Your brow knits together, feeling defensive of Severus.
"Professor Snape?" You ask. "Yes," she replies sharply. "Well, I suppose he can be a bit abrasive at times..." "No, it's more than that. He's a complete and totally arrogant snake of a man," her voice now angry and cold, a tone you'd never heard from her before. Your brows arch in surprise at this sudden about-face in Angel's typically sweet demeanor.
Georgia and Amy squirm in their seats a bit, and change the subject, filling you in on everything you missed in the last couple of days. You talk with them for a while, the conversation eventually lightening until you're all laughing about something.
You can't help but feel a sense of unease with Angel's reaction to Severus. Something happened...and neither has said what.
Later that evening, you wander around the castle, just a few minutes before curfew. You know Snape makes his rounds at this hour, and you hope to run into him. You make your way to the viaduct bridge over the Black Lake and gaze down into its depths. Black as night...dark like his eyes, but not nearly as deep and mercurial. Not nearly as vast and lovely..."Well, well...out for a little stroll...in the moonlight, are we?"
You turn to Severus, his illuminated wand held at his side. You smile at him, "Oh, yes. Just a casual stroll. Not in any way intended to capture your attention," You say coyly.
He smirks at you and steps closer, the chilly breeze tussling his locks against his pale face. Your breath catches in your throat at his beauty...he truly is a striking man. "Wow..." you breathe softly and unintentionally. His brow raises at you. "I just..." you reach your hands up and hold either side of his face, unable to contain yourself, pulling him into your mouth and kissing him passionately.
He gently places his hands on your waist, pulling you into him. Eventually you break the kiss and gaze up at him with wide eyes, "Severus, I..." He looks down at your lips, his own eyes wild with desire.
"I love you," you say, your heart overwhelmed with emotion. "I love you, too, Y/n..." He smiles softly at you. "I just wanted to tell you...if Professor McGonagall requires our abstinence, I will oblige. I want to respect her wishes, as Headmaster." He looks at you with a soft gaze, his hands clinging to you a bit tighter now.
"And when I graduate, I would be honored to come live with you, if that's still something you want?" He laughs softly, "If? Of course I do...it's all I can think about...you know, that quill of yours really is magic. I tried to write a letter to the Headmaster about student's grades but instead ended up writing three pages of parchment about one student in particular..." You both laugh, your cheeks flushing pink at the thought.
He pulls you into him and hugs you tightly. "Severus?" "Yes, my love?" You look up into his inky orbs, "Did something happen with...my friends? They seem...odd. And angry with you, and I don't know why. I mean, beyond the normal "dungeon bat," "miserable old git" type of thing," you laugh softly, searching his eyes. They seem to soften and you sense him withdraw. Something did happen.
"Y/n..." He struggles for a moment to find the words. "Those girls...are not your friends." The words confuse you, "What do you mean, Professor?" He shifts on his feet, seeming uncomfortable for a moment. "I didn't want you to get hurt," his voice comes out soft but strained. Your eyes narrow and now your singular focus is on finding out exactly what he's talking about. "You didn't want me to get hurt...what happened?"
He hesitates then speaks in a soft, careful voice, "That day, when you went into the forest...I overheard them talking about you. And it wasn't...good, Y/n." Your face flushes hot, your gaze dropping. "The blonde one...she's said some awful things about you, Y/n. I have overheard not one, but two conversations amongst them, and she seems to be the instigator." His eyes look pained, as if it hurts him too much to share any more.
You stand there quiet for a moment, your mind spinning with the details of what he's saying. The blonde one. Angel? She wouldn't...she's your friend. She's only ever been sweet and helpful and wanted to know details about you, and...he holds your hand and looks down at it a moment before making eye contact again. "I...confronted them the second time I heard them gossiping," Your eyes flash up to his, "The blonde...she really has it out for you, Y/n. Please, do not trust her."
Your eyes sting with tears, hurt by what he's sharing. His eyes look compassionately into yours and he pulls you into him, holding you against his chest. "Maybe I haven't been a good friend. I've been distracted," You reason, your voice shaky with emotion. "You...are an excellent friend, and you deserve excellent friends. Don't keep them around for proximity's sake...they have said things about you that are untrue."
A tear rushes down your cheek and onto Snape's coat at this information, your arms wrapping around his solid frame. Perhaps he misheard. You've been fooled and manipulated so many times in your life that honestly, you don't even know for sure if you can fully trust Snape. What if he decided to be controlling and didn't want you to have friends?
He holds you there for a while, and you finally decide it's time to go back to your dorm. You don't want to bring it up with them, so you decide to avoid it if at all possible, being non-confrontational and uncertain altogether about what he shared.
Your heart lifts slightly when you remember what Severus had said––"I confronted them..." Everything in you wants to believe his words. He has my back...he said I could always come to him for protection and perhaps he meant it...You smile softly in spite of yourself and your tear-stained face.
You climb the Ravenclaw Tower and enter your dorm, hoping no one notices you're a few minutes past curfew. Your heart drops into your stomach when you look up at your bed.
Angel sits on it with the other girls surrounding her, holding your open journal.
The journal.