SOFIA
I'm still crying in my room as Darrel enters all panicked. I'm in my night gown, sitting on the floor, surrounded by used tissues. Somewhere in the background plays sad classical music. After the meeting, I went straight to my room to cry my eyes out. I tried to reach Alec, yet he didn't answer. Which means I'm alone in my room crying my eyes out. I'm alone, lonely and miserable.
Darrel looks at me and after seeing my state, I can see how he wishes he wouldn't have to tell me the next thing. However, he pulls his entire courage and says: "Your Royal Highness, I just got a call from New York."
I look up at him worried, knowing New York is where all my friends live and one of them might be in danger.
"Mister Dunn is currently in the ED at the New York Hospital." he continues.
What?!
"Where is he? How is he? Is he hurt? Can I see him?" I begin, standing up alerted and rushing around the room to get changed. Although Darrel is in the same room, I get undressed and put on some fresh clothes. He looks away during the whole time.
"I don't have any further details, only that he was involved in a car accident."
I freeze. Alec was involved in a car accident. He's in the ED.
"I need to get to him." I say, almost rushing out of the room.
"But, Your Royal Highness, you aren't feeling well..." he whispers, pointing to the used tissues on the floor.
"Darrel, my boyfriend; the love of my life; is in the hospital. I need to go see him." I say, my voice sounding less than a statement and more like an order.
"I'll inform the staff to get the plane ready." he says, pulling out his phone. And luckily, he doesn't spend much time. In fifteen minutes, we're already in the jet on the way to New York.
~
The flight takes eight hours. Eight freaking hours, in which I try hard not to think of the worst. I try to picture Alec next to me, smiling, hugging me, kissing me, telling me we'll be alright. Yet these phantasies are stopped by two realities. The first one, the fact he's in a hospital right now at the emergency department after being involved in a car accident. The fact I could lose him in any second and I'm far away from him. I don't want to lose him. I want him to be with me. The second reality is the fact that if we will decide to come together forever and have a child once, that child will be the heir to the throne. And will have to leave a life with no freedom.
I finished five tissue boxes until now.
The moment the plane leads, I force everyone to hurry up and it doesn't take long until I'm sitting in a car with Darrel and my personal driver. We're rushing to the hospital, probably going exactly at the speed limit. It's best if no policeman would check us now. I'm not sure we'll pass the test.
The driver stops the car in front of the hospital and I rush inside followed by Darrel. The receptionist looks at me surprised to see me here, however I speak before she can say something.
"Hello. My name is Sofia Estair and I'm here to see my boyfriend, Alec Dunn."
She nods, making the connection. She's probably heard of us before. Seen us on the television or read in the magazines. I don't know or care how she knows, I just need to see my babe.
"Please follow me, Your Royal Highness. I'll bring you to him." she says and personally leads me to Alec. We stop in front of a private hospital room and the receptionist opens the door. I follow her inside and scream as I see him. Alec is lying in bed, his eyes closed, machines beeping next to him. He's wearing hospital clothes and looks pale. His right cheek has a long scar on it. One, which probably will never disappear.
"Babe!" I shout and run to him. I sit down on the margin of his bed and bend over to hug him. He doesn't make any move, continues keeping his eyes closed.
"Alec?" I ask, more worried as before. "Alec?" I repeat louder. "Alec, babe? Please, please answer." I'm shouting now. Cursing. Begging the universe not to take him away from me.
I need Alec. Please don't let me live without Alec.
"Why isn't he answering?" I ask around the room. Two people meanwhile entered. A nurse and a doctor.
"He's in a comma, Your Royal Highness." The doctor answers. "He got a pretty bad hit in the accident."
I swallow hard and go with my fingers along the scar on the cheek.
"How did it happen?" I continue asking. No one makes a move to answer. I repeat my question, in a more commanding tone: "How did the accident happen?"
"We don't know exactly." The doctor answers. "Yet, he left a letter for you."
My eyes wonder from Alec to the doctor, who is now handing me an envelope. It has the word Foxy written on the cover.
"How did you know it was me?" I ask the man, since no one calls me like that apart from my boyfriend.
"Mr. Adam Cunnan came earlier to make sure Mr. Dunn is alright. He is the one who paid for Mr. Dunn's change from a regular to a private room. We showed him the letter we found in Mr. Dunn's pocket and he instructed us to give it to you."
I nod thankfully and make a reminder to text Adam sometime later to thank him for taking care of my boyfriend.
I open the letter and from the first sentence I know I am not going to like it.
I am so sorry, Foxy.
"Will you mind stepping outside for a few minutes?" I ask the three people; the doctor, nurse and receptionist. "I might need some privacy to read this."
The three nod and obey. As they're out and only Darrel is still inside, I make myself courage to continue reading it.
"I am so sorry, Foxy. If this letter got to you, it means that something happened to me. I am so sorry you have to go through the pain you're feeling now. I could never forgive myself for it.
It kills me to write this down, but if you're reading this, I think we should no longer be together. My relationship with you puts you in a type of danger I could never live with myself knowing I'm the reason for it. I don't want to lose you, Foxy. I really don't. Yet if letting you go means you get to live, then it's better like this.
Goodbye, my love. I hope you'll find the happiness you deserve."
Blood starts boiling in my veins and I feel the urge to rip out the letter. I listen to the urge. In five seconds, the letter is gone. All that's left are pieces, just like how my heart is now. Shattered in pieces.
I lost everything today.
Everything.
I sink down from the margin of the bed to the floor, holding Alec's hand. I curl my fingers with him and start crying. I don't think that I'll ever stop crying. I can't. It's like I'm filled with an ocean inside that will never stop getting bigger and pulling me deeper.
I kiss his hand and think about us. He said goodbye. He might as well think I wouldn't be here. Yet here I am.
I think about us. At first, I never thought we would get this far. If someone would have told me a few months ago I'll fall so madly in love with Alec Dunn, that the possibility of living without him feels worse than not living at all, I would have laughed at them in the face. However, here we are. And I am so madly in love with Alec Dunn, that I can't imagine life without him.
On the other side, maybe we were never meant to be together. I'm a princess. He's a billionaire. Our love is dangerous. I am never going to be allowed to marry him. Our child, his child, will never be able to live the life he or she will deserve. There are so many odds playing against us. Maybe it's better if we parted ways.
With the last bit of strength I find, I ask for a piece of paper and a pen. Alec said goodbye through a letter, I am going to do the same. I spend some time writing down all my thoughts. I don't tell him I'm still in love with him though. If I would admit that to him, I don't think I could ever get through with this.
When I'm ready, I place the paper on the nightstand. I couldn't find an envelope, so I left it like that.
I try to stand up and walk away, yet everything drags me back to him.
You need to say goodbye, Sofia. He's not your boyfriend anymore.
I stand up and turn to the door.
One more night.
No.
One more night.
One more night.
I sit on the bed margin next to him and place my head on his chest. I'm lying down incredibly uncomfortable, yet none of that matters. I have him with me. Maybe for the last time ever.
One more night.
I take his hand and curl our fingers together. I don't close my eyes the whole night. I just stare at him sleep, wondering when he'll wake up.
I want him to wake up.
And come to me.
Yet I have to say goodbye.
I force the thought away and focus on him. At least for one more night, I can watch him sleep.
I can call him mine.
Even if it won't last forever.