"Julia?" Jenna asked gently as I sobbed into my pillow. "Go away." I sobbed as the door opened. "What did he do to you, Jule?" She asked and came to sit on the bed.
"Nothing. He didn't do anything." I said and sat up, rubbing my eyes. "Obviously he did something. You've been crying all night, I'm not stupid." She said gently.
It was true that I have been nonstop crying all night. I didn't even realize that the sun was up I was that upset.
"Just talk to me." Jenna said quietly. "I think I've gone crazy." I whimpered, sitting up. "You're not crazy, Julia." Jenna said with a sigh.
"I'm pushing him away because I'm scared." I admitted as she scratched my back gently. "Why? You know you love him. There was a point that it was almost disgusting." She said with a laugh.
"You'll never understand what's happening. I just don't know if Colby and I are gonna last." I said with a frown.
"Why won't I understand? Because I'm a kid? I'll have you know that I'm basically a teenager." She said as I laughed a watery laugh.
"Not even close." I said then had a whiff of something burning.
"What is burning?" I asked with wide eyes, bolting up. "Uhhh...." Jenna said as I ran out of the room and towards the kitchen.
"Water, Sam! WATER." Carter said frantically as I rushed into the room. "What is happening?!" I gasped, looking around the smoky kitchen.
"We were trying to make you breakfast and it went wrong." Sam said as Carter stood in front of a pan that was on fire.
"Move!" I yelled and ran towards it, grabbing the pan and throwing it into the sink and turning the water on.
"Open a window, please." I said with a sigh as the fire alarm blared. "Sorry, Jule.." Carter said as I shook my head.
"I appreciate the effort. I really do." I said then looked at my siblings as I fanned the smoky air around me.
Juniper was sitting with her hands covering her eyes as tears filled her eyes. She didnt have the typical spark that she always did.
Sam and Carter had a guilty look on their faces. I wasn't mad at them though because it wasn't like I ever taugh them how to cook.
Jenna was opening the window, looking at me with sad eyes.
"Come here." I said quietly and opened my arms as soon as the fire alarm turned off.
"Are you mad?" Sam asked as I shook my head. "Not at all." I said as they all stepped into my embrace.
"We just wanted to make you breakfast." Carter said as I sighed. "Thanks guys. I'm sorry for leaving you high and dry last night." I said with a sigh.
I didn't even realize how much time had gone by since Colby left last night. My poor siblings had to fend for themselves while I tended to my shattered heart.
Some things never change.
"Sissy...is Colby gone forever?" Juniper asked causing me to frown. "It's complicated." I said and crouched down to be her level.
"I don't want him to go." She whispered as I nodded. "I know..I don't want him to either." I said and brushed her hair behind her ear.
"What happened last night?" Sam asked as I stood up so I could clean up the kitchen.
"Why don't you guys go to the living room, I'll make us some breakfast then I'll explain." I said and started cleaning.
"We can help you." Carter said as I shook my head. "It's okay, just go ahead and go to the living room." I said as they nodded and turned to leave the room.
Juniper stayed back, looking at me with sad eyes. "What's going on, love?" I asked as she started to cry. "Oh, honey." I mumbled and went over to her, pulling her into my arms.
"I don't want Colby to go away." She cried into my chest. "I know. He's your best friend, huh?" I asked as she nodded.
"If he leaves you'll leave." He said as I shook my head. "That's not gonna happen. I'm not going anywhere." I said with an encouraging smile.
"I'm gonna make some pancakes, go ahead to the living room with the others." I said as she nodded.
"Okay, sissy." She said then left the room.
It broke my heart that she was taking this so hard but I couldn't assure her that Colby wouldn't leave us.
I didn't think he would, considering everything we've been through but I couldn't help it if we fell out of love.
I could already tell that being away from eachother was making me miss him.
It's only been a couple hours and I genuinely felt like half my heart was gone.
After cleaning the kitchen I made some pancakes and plated them up so I could bring them out to the living room.
"Pancakes." I said and handed a plate to each kid. "Thanks, Jule." Carter said as I nodded. "We need to talk." I said with a sigh and sat down, twisting my rings nervously.
"Obviously Colby and I had a bit of an argument last night." I said quietly.
"It's all my fault though." I admitted then looked up at them. "I relapsed yesterday while you were at school." I said watching as their faces shifted.
Jenna looked almost angry whereas Carter and Sam looked sad. Juniper honestly had no idea what that even meant.
"How could you do that!?" Jenna asked as I closed my eyes. "I know...it's just complicated. Addiction is hard and relapses happen but it's no excuse." I said as my eyes watered.
"Are you okay now?" Sam asked as I shook my head. "I'm angry with myself and my heart is broken but I'm more ashamed for disappointing you guys." I said and looked down.
"I wish you would feel better." Carter mumbled as Jenna huffed out a breath. "Where did you even find pills to take?" She asked as Juniper crawled into my lap.
"Colby went out of his way to hide the medicine they gave Juniper but I found it. He found out and got upset. That's why we fought." I said and cuddled with Juniper.
"So he's gonna leave." Sam said as I sighed. "I'm not sure. I hope not, because I do love him." I said quietly.
"Then you have to fight for him!" Carter yelled, standing up.
"Woah, dude. Relax." I said with a laugh. "He'll be back on Monday and we'll talk it out." I said as Juniper looked up at me.
"Will you give him puppy dog eyes like this?" She asked and pouted her lip out, her eyes shining with sorrow.
"I'll leave that up to you." I said then looked up at them.
"No matter what happens with him, I need you guys to understand that it has nothing to do with you." I explained.
"He loves and cares for you guys, and if he leaves us it's not because of anything you did. I promise." I said with a reassuring smile.
The last thing I wanted was for them to think they were unlovable. That wasn't what was happening and I refused for them to think that.
"I am also sorry that we can't leave the house this weekend." I mumbled. "It's okay, Jule. We can just hang out here." Sam said as I nodded.
"Thanks guys." I said quietly as Jenna went to leave the room.
"I'll be right back." I said and stood up, sitting Juniper on the couch.
I knew Jenna was going to be the most upset about this because she was always so concerned about me and my well-being.
She and Carter really had a grasp on how hard life has been for me. They understood that I have sacrificed everything in my life to make their lives easier.
I followed Jenna up the stairs and went into her room where she went in.
"Hey.." I mumbled, closing the door. "I know you're mad." I said and went to sit on the bed.
"I just hate that you struggle." She said and looked up at me.
"Life is hard. It happens, but I promise I'm trying to be better." I said as she nodded.
"I know. I just don't want you to push Colby away...he's good for you and he's good for us." She said with a frown.
"I know. We're gonna try and work it out but I can't make him stay." I said and brushed her hair back.
"I guess so. I think you're gonna marry him though." She said with a small smile.
"Juniper would love that maybe a little too much." I said as she nodded.
"Absolutely. I just hope you're gonna be okay. I hate seeing you sad." She said as I nodded.
"We're gonna figure it out. We always do." I said quietly.
Colby and I have been through a lot and I didn't know what was going to happen with us but if we were better off apart then we would have to let eachother go.
It would be hard but we would do what was best for us.