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I had many secrets. Ones that could very much hurt only myself if I said them out loud. I had once said them out loud, though. In court, nonetheless.
Embarrassing as it is, though, I pushed the memory away. Today was my last day here.
I pulled each button of this burdening hospital-wear out of it's hole and pushed the outfit off my shoulder. I could feel the eyes on me. I was alone in this room, but I wasn't alone in my own mind. I thought I got better. I was convinced I got better. But truly, I only got better at hiding it.
I would still hallucinate at times, and sometimes I would still be brought back into the classroom. I could feel his hand on my shoulder. I could hear him ask me to be quiet. How dare he?
I dressed myself in a simple purple sheath dress. I grabbed my bag stuffed with everything I brought into this psych ward and walked out the door where I met my nurse, Ifa.
"Good morning, Victoria! I guess it seems you're ready to leave this place, huh?"
I smiled at her accurate prediction. "Who wouldn't be?"
"Oh, come on, it was just last week you were saying that here was better than how it is at home."
"True. I'll miss you."
Ifa reached in to take my bag. "Well, as much as I'll miss you, I really hope to not see you here again. This isn't a place I'd want to see you in."
Everything was already sorted when I walked into the hospital's main entrance. I caught a glimpse of the woman who had been there for me through voice calls and once-every-two-weeks visits looking straight at me.
Immediately, I ran toward her. The bag around my left shoulder dropped down to my elbow as I wrapped my arms around my sisters neck.
"Victoria..." she sighed into my neck as she tightened the hug.
"Oh, Vic, I missed you so much." I laughed at the comforting words.
I was the first to break the hug. "You literally saw me face-to-face two weeks ago."
"Yes, well, the last time I saw you, you were a mental hospital patient. Now you're just Victoria. My sister." My smile stretched wider. Oh, how I missed my sister.
Alisa led me to her car which she drove herself. Despite us both having some relations with the Hawthornes, we were brought up humble, as though we were just like everyone else-created by God.
The conversations made on the ride home were familiar and reassuring, just like how it used to be. It's been less than a year since I've been in the ward, but it felt like centuries being away from my sister.
"How'd you manage without me?" I asked.
Alisa kept her eyes on the road. "Hmm? Manage? What does that mean?"
"Oh, y'know..." I replied sheepishly.
I looked over at Alisa. Her realization made me feel a wave of guilt.
"Oh," was all she said.
We both were silent at first, the only sounds being the ones from outside and the soft melody of a female singer on the radio that was kept at a 15% volume. Alisa's grip on the steering wheel couldn't be ignored no matter how hard I tried.
"It's pretty cold-" My attempt at trying to change the topic was cut off by Alisa's respond to my question earlier.
"It was horrible. Managing without you, I mean."
"Well... he was annoying, anyway." I say, trying to change the mood.
A smile crept on my sister's face. "Always causing arguments and expecting me to solve them. He was lucky I'm a lawyer or else... God, I don't know what would've happened to him."
I laugh at how my sister talks about him. When the curtains were drawn back, the Ortegas were respectful and obedient to any Hawthorne. But behind it all, we couldn't give one shit. The Hawthornes were just human beings with money and fame. Sure, they had talent and skill, but so did other people.
"Eh, I never really liked him. Did heal my daddy issues, but nothing else. The youngest one was probably my favorite." I had no shame stating my opinion. It's been a few months since Nash Hawthorne and Alisa Ortega broke their engagement. Now, I was no longer Nash's soon-to-be sister-in-law. I wasn't obligated to respect him as if he were my older brother.
"Really? Always thought you would've liked Jameson more... I can see why you don't, though."
The rest of the ride home was just Alisa and I talking bad about other people. If I got a dollar for every time I talked shit to cope, my sister and I would be richer than the Hawthornes.
When we arrived home, I couldn't fight back the rush of emotions and memories that I held back during the car ride. I slipped my shoes off and ran to my bedroom as though it was the end of the world.
When I opened my room door, I was greeted by the sight of all the paintings I've ever painted in my years of having that skill. The biggest painting hung above my bed; it was the one I loved most.
The painting contained an angel-like figure with big, white feather-covered wings stretching from it's back. The wings took up most of the left side of the paint. The figure had it's arms wrapped around a small girl. Behind the girl, there were void-like souls with creepy stick-like arms reaching out toward the girl-some actually grabbed onto her shoulders.
Right before the canvas ended at the bottom, there was something written in gold paint. It read, Great Happiness - Alisa.
The meaning behind the painting referenced to the relationship my sister and I had. She had been my angel, my protector. But even with her full protection, I still had struggles that even the kindest soul couldn't help.
I took in the sight of my entire room. I missed how it smelled in here; like intoxicating paint and over-sprayed perfume. It was a mix of comforting and depressing.
I settled into my room and made the decision to take a nap-to officiate my return home.
When I awoke, my sister was sitting at the edge of my bed.
She cleared her throat, and by that little sound itself, I knew the person at the end of my bed wasn't my kind and caring older sister, but a lawyer who was ready to do business.
"Right... seeing as though your return is news bigger than you think it is, you must make an entrance. Or, um, a show, you could say."
I groaned at her declaration. I got enough hate when I tried to show off once before. I didn't want more now.
"Must I really?"
Alisa nodded. "First, you gotta be in public. Just shopping in general... I know, bookstore! It'll be a treat for yourself, too." God, my sister really did know me. "Remember that billionaire girl?"
"That billionaire girl? Alisa, who in the whole of USA doesn't know Avery fucking Grambs? La chica randomly inherits money from a man she probably doesn't know at all."
"She's somebody, but to me, she's just my client."
I laugh at how casually she addresses the heiress to 48 billion dollars. "What about her? I... oh, please, don't tell me I have to talk to her." Alisa gave me a look.
"Of course, you have to. Cariño, I know we've been brought up humble, but we're still Hawthorne-adjacent. To keep our family name respected, we've got to put in the work."
I rolled my eyes and tossed my head back, dropping back onto my bed. I stared above at my rose white ceiling, wondering whether I should agree to this or not. Either way, I had no choice. My life was already sculpted by people who I barely knew anything about, but knew everything about me.
"Fine. It's not like I have a choice, do I?"
Alisa gave me a sympathetic look and gave my thigh a pat. She sucked in a deep breath and stood up, her planning tablet in hand. She used the given pen and started writing things on the screen of the tablet.
"Then it's settled. A visit to the bookstore and a first ever meeting with Ms. Avery Grambs, heiress to the Hawthorne family fortune."
It wasn't just a meeting with Ms. Grambs. It was a meeting with the Hawthornes. And I was not ready for any of that.
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it's a lil slow paced for now but i swear im working on it! votes n comments are appreciated <3
- nkr