"AZRRRAAAA wake up!" my mother shouts
I open my eyes, my alarm clock hadn't even rung, I was awake thanks to my mother.
" Move over a bit, "she says, sitting down beside me
I rinse my eye, as I remember it's Saturday. I don't understand why my mother came to wake me up so early.
"Yes? What's wrong Maa? It's not even 8 o'clock," I tell her with a yawn.
" I need you to come with me to Auntie Nafsa's house," she says.
"Aunt Nafsa?" NO I tell her categorically
No way, wasting my Saturday morning to be criticized by my aunt, yes I understood that Aunt Nafsa adores her daughter, she is perfect, but why always point the finger at me, to raise her, I do nothing, I breathe.
"Come on! She won't bother you this time, her daughter is not at home anyway," she tries to convince me
"But Maa, you realize that every time she finds a way to humiliate me, you should be happy that I don't have any self-esteem problems, and you don't want to, if you invite me there, it's because she's having a party and she's invited the whole family, and I like them, but I like my bed more now, good night," I tell her.
I lay down on these last words, pulling my blanket over me, I was tired, I even almost got up late to pray the fajr but yet I already felt my mother pulling me by the ears.
" But Maaa please, just once "I grumbled
" Azra Ahmed Khan, I didn't teach you to abandon your mother," she lectured me
I took my ear in my possession and turned to her.
" Be honest, Daddy can't come, is that it and I am the one who is sacrificed in his place?" I asked her seriously
"Well..... Yes, he has a last minute appointment and I had already accepted, it is out of the question that I face the whole family without an ally young girl, so you get dressed," she warns me,
"Maa, you're a woman I really respect, but why would you want to go if you don't want to, and force me too when you could just cancel?" I ask her hopefully
She sits down next to me again, and takes my face in pairs.
"My little baby, you are still a child, you will understand when you are grown up, you must never give anyone a single reason to criticise us and you know who I am Salma Ahmed Khan" she says proudly before running off
I lie back and gasp, looking at the time, 8:30.
" I'm tired of not sleeping enough."
I don't want to go, but if I don't get up, I'll probably be dragged by my mother's nose, which will give my Pakistani family one more reason to laugh at me. I still prefer to go with dignity, at least there will be food.
Ya rabb! I am fed up. I do my morning dua and get up and get up to wash myself.
I then search my wardrobe for a suitable outfit, finally opting for a long tunic and jeans, simply putting on my orange dupatta to match my tunic and revealing my earrings.
That should do it, I say to myself as I look in the mirror.
I go downstairs to wait for my mother, who joins me an hour later dressed up.
"So, how i am ? " she asks me, pointing to her turquoise blue saree
"Unbelievable," I tell her honestly
My mother has always been beautiful even if she thinks otherwise just because she has aged. That moron, she is a beautiful woman in her early forties.
" We can go now," she says
I nod and take the keys to her car.
I get into the driver's seat, and yes, I have the privilege of getting my driving licence, well after failing it three times, but that's okay, success comes after failure.
"In fact Maa, what is the reason why Aunt Nafsa invited the family?" I asked her as I took the right turn
" No idea, she wants to announce a news, but she didn't give me more details"
"At any moment, she announces that she is leaving for Alaska, I feel sorry for those who will have to listen to her nightly tirades, do you remember when she threw water out of the window on that poor man because his dog urinated on his lawn during the night, "I tell her
"Focus on the road," my mother says, suppressing her laughter.
We arrived 10 minutes later, I parked and followed my mother closely, not wanting to face anyone, my technique has always been to let my parents talk during family parties and just answer the questions are you ok? Yes.
When I enter my aunt's house, I can't stand it anymore, I can already hear the general commotion, the grown-ups talking on one side, the youngsters on the other, the children running from one to the other and the music playing in the background.
But I could also smell the food, the samosas, the ladu, the roasts, aaah, definitely Pakistani food, it's the only positive thing about the day. When I am about to head towards the food my mother stops me.
"Maa?" I ask
She waves me off, Aunty Nafsa was approaching us, what a joy!
"Salam Alaikum, you have finally come, a little late, but I'm glad you're here," she says, smiling and taking my mother in her arms
What is it? It's barely 10:00 in the morning, how late is she talking, again to shoot bullets in the heart, next time I'll take a rocket, but I don't know where to buy them.
I don't have time to continue my reflection when it's my turn to be hugged and kissed on the forehead.
"You're still beautiful, but you've lost weight over time, aren't you eating properly?" asks my aunt.
Really this hypocritical smile, always wonderful, I never understood why my aunt could never stand me.
"Of course she does, but with her studies on the side, she forgets herself a little bit," my mother replied at the same time.
Lying would be the last thing I would forget.
" Is it? I remember that Aliya didn't have this kind of problem, she had the best marks in high school and at the same time she ate well, so it's a question of knowing how to do it, Azra doesn't damage your health, eat properly," she tells me
I nod, laughing and hiding my desire for murder, I finally leave my mother talking to my aunt and slip away.
I find the buffet and fill myself with a plate of samosas with sweets on the side, I'm going to enjoy myself, I take a seat next to my grandmother.
"Azra eats slowly," my grandmother tells me.
"Yes, yes," I tell her, not even trying
How does she want me to eat more slowly when that's my comfort after the hard battle I had with Aunt Nasfa.
Too bad Amina isn't here, I text her to tell her I'm bored.
"I am bored, but I am eating samosas, I wish you were here." send her
She replies three minutes later.
"I'm here, don't worry, my whole family will be here".
Then I don't understand anything, but I can see Amina's family appearing, especially her father's family with her parents and her.
She runs to me and I hand her a samosa, which she gladly accepts.
"But why are you here ?" I asked her.
She sat down next to me and took a bite of the samosa before answering.
" I don't know, I was told it was important," she said with a shrug.
I'm really starting to find the situation harmless. Even so, my eyes begin to search for a specific person.
"Riaz is not here ?" I try to ask in the most detached tone
" Yes, he's parking the car," she replies.
I don't answer anything, he's here, I'm not going to lie to you, I like it a little bit to know that, it's the second positive thing.
"Have you ever met your aunt?" She asks me
"Don't even ask me about it, I've had her usual phrases" I tell her
"You lost weight?" my best friend and I repeat at the same time before bursting into laughter
"My suffering makes you laugh ?" I ask her
"Of course," she answers
Be alone, otherwise you'll end up like me, a clown. I notice Riaz coming into the room, I can already see some of my cousins devouring him with their eyes, and of course since Riaz is a gentleman with everyone but me, he doesn't refuse to chat with them. I hate being possessive. Pfft, it's childish behaviour.
"He's always been famous, but don't curse him out," my best friend comments.
I almost jump when I hear my best friend's voice.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask defensively.
"Well, you were just looking at Riaz and glaring at him, I guess you're afraid for your cousins, but don't worry, he's not a playboy
" Aaaah yes indeed, I take my curse off if that's the way it is, Hahahahah I said reassured
Maybe I should have avoided the forced laughter at the end, but what a relief Amina took my jealousy for something else.
" Everyone calls "my aunt Nafsa
Everyone turns their attention back to her, she walks towards her daughter, wait a minute, what is Aliya doing there? I look at my mother, who avoids my gaze. Motherly traitor.
" I have an announcement to make," she says happily.
Well, until then everything was fine, Aunt Nafsa is joined by her husband at her daughter's side, but the moment when things get out of hand is when Farès, Amina's cousin, goes to stand by my cousin.
I feel myself being pulled towards Amina. I think that she herself doesn't understand anything anymore.
"What's going on here?" whispered my best friend
"I have absolutely no idea, but it's going to be interesting, eat the samosas, I'm out of popcorn" I tell her
I look at Riaz, he doesn't look oddly surprised, he doesn't tell me he knows what's going on.
"Here it is everyone, it's been in the planning for a while, I announce that my husband and I have given the hand of our dear daughter to Farès, they loved each other and they told us they wanted to be together" she says all happy
What ? It means that my family will merge with Amina's family, my best friend also stopped eating because of the surprise, which is not the case, I still continue. We follow the general assembly who applaud and congratulate us all.
"Mmh, I told you there was something suspicious about him," I whisper to Amina
Auntie Nafsa goes to get rings.
"I would like the engagement to take place now" warn my aunt
It's seem like that my Aunt Nafsa is in a hurry, . At the same time, she surely doesn't want to lose a son-in-law like Fares.
My cousin is the first to put the ring on Fares' finger and then it's her turn, well I admit they are cute.
" You can go and help yourself to food now," says my aunt
Whereupon I choke on my lathu, what do you mean I couldn't help myself until now? That's not important anymore, I'm choking.
"koF..Kof..kof..Kof" I'm choking
"Damn Azra, I'll get you some water" says Amina worried
I nod, unable to speak, why did this have to happen to me now, everyone was staring at me, even Riaz, I could already feel the remarks that would follow.
Amina came back with a big glass of water and I hurried to drink it.
"Slowly Azra" , she said, rubbing my back.
I can finally feel the piece of food stuck in my throat pass to the other side.
"Thank you, Amina," I say as I put the cup of water back down
Suddenly, I heard my aunt giggle.
"Azra my dear, you have to be careful not to choke, I feel sorry for your mother, how can you expect someone to marry you if you are more obsessed with a piece of lathu than your life" she said
Of course, as if it wasn't already humiliating, everyone in the room laughs, I hate myself for never thinking, I feel the comforting hand of my best friend on my arm.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine," I reassure Amina.
Which is wrong, I told you I was sensitive, I could already feel the tears coming, and bit my lips to keep them from flowing. My mother walked towards me, ready to shout at everyone, when a voice rang out.
" You think you're funny, lady?" the voice asked ironically.
All eyes turned to Riaz including mine. He calls her lady not even aunty.
"What?" asked Aunt Nafsa, still laughing a little.
"You're going a bit far to humiliate Azra, she simply choked, nothing more, it could have happened to anyone, even to you, Riaz continued
Wait, Riaz is defending me ? My aunt's face changes colour.
" Humiliating her..? What, of course not, she's my niece, I'm just afraid for her future if she keeps on like this who's going to marry her ? She's cute, nothing special, but that's not enough" she says hypocritically
I knew my aunt was horrible but every time she manages to go out of her way to humiliate me publicly, I feel so hurt.
"That's enough for me, just take care of your daughter," Riaz replied flatly.
I've never seen Riaz glare at anyone like that, he was so intimidating I was sure everyone was peeing themselves intellectually in all of me, they were.
"Do you think we shouldn't stop Riaz?" I asked Amina, who shook her head negatively
"Leave it, your aunt needs to be taught a lesson for once," she said as she shoved a samosa into her mouth
I turn my attention back to my aunt who is as white as linen, she has lost all colour.
"Hahahahah, you mean you would be ready to marry Azra, of course not," my aunt answered mockingly, trying to regain the upper hand.
I'll end up eating her, why is she trying to show my rejection publicly when I didn't even know I was going to marry her?
" Totally, yes I would be willing to marry Azra" he says seriously
YA RABB! Am I really awake or asleep? I turn my attention back to Riaz to discern any joke on his face but his look is more than certain and serious as he looks at my Aunt.
I don't think anyone expects it either, there is a dead silence in the silence.
" You should apologize to Azra" he says looking me straight in the eye
His gaze disturbs me as it did the last time, he seems to be really upset with my aunt.
My aunt is reluctant at first but eventually she does and the festivities resume. Riaz disappears in the meantime.
I'm still in denial, did Riaz just say he was willing to marry me to defend me or...
Djfbfkgnncn, nonnnnnnnnn, impossible, my head hurts from thinking.
"I'll put it in my diary, Riaz defending you, it's ok, I have hope that you can get along one day" says my best friend reassured
"Hahaha, yes" I said half lost
It was just to defend me, Riaz defended me once, maybe he can hurt me more than I think.
This little thought puts me in a good mood and I start eating again, I know there is no hope however what can I do but hope.
"I should thank him," I say to Amina who nods