Alone again, Katherine sat next to her trash bin.
Not repulsed by the sight of her vomit, she only stayed there, doing nothing, staring at nothing. But she was thinking, about three things ;
Emily, Laura and Elizabeth.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the door right next to her opened. Spencer sat next to her, as he handed her a water bottle. She took it
"Drink, It might make you fell better" he said.
She opened it to get a taste and drank while Spencer talked to her.
"You probably know, but I've been to prison myself, and... I dont want you to go there."
"I know, but I've committed a crime, Spencer" Katherine said as she placed her head on his shoulder.
"I know, but we can try and make a deal, give them back the files you took" he whispered
"What about those inside my head?" She whispered back to him.
Katherine had no interest in the CSIS Secret Service files as she only wanted to get someone's attention, the ones she hid away could easily be given back.
However, as she was quite smart, it could be assumed she had memorized some delicate information for the sake of her own Secret Intelligence in the USA.
And that was true, Katherine had stumbled upon lists of undercover agents, theirs missions and locations. If anything were to be revealed, she would be to blame, because she had a great memory and a bias past.
"Well, ..we can still make a deal, say you won't share anything." Spencer tried to adjust.
Katherine thought about it.
"Thats true" She said as they both stayed silent for a while.
"You know, I've never thanked you before" Katherine said
"What for?"
"For being you, for not making me feel bad, for having fun with me. You dont feel the need to be someone else around me, youre genuine" She said, head still rested on his shoulder.
"Thanks, I love the you that you are as well" he gave a smile.
"You know, youve been through a lot yourself, how did you do it?" she asked him
Spencer took a while to get an answer.
"I dont know, but what I do know is that I had good help, from everyone. But Emily was especially there for me. Like we are all here for you, me, Morgan, JJ, Garcia and Emily." He took a pause, not sure if he should say anything more. "We all like you, you know? And Emily..." he hesitated
"Oh I know" Katherine said, she hid her smirk "I do too"
"That's...great"
"It is"
And it was. Since now having talked with Spencer, Katherine wanted to stay, be with her friends and Emily, even if it meant leaving the BAU, she would do it. Spencer had shown her that if she couldnt do it for herself, she could do it for them.
-
After a while, everyone came back.
Emily, sober, had threatened to speak of the false accusation of murder implanted to frame her agent to cover up the incompetence of the CSIS's Technical Unit in keeping the secrecy of theirs files. Bringing major political scandals between countries.
Though if she did, Katherine would be in danger, but Emily would be there to protect her.
Agent. Veck uncuffed Katherine. Free of the accusation of murder, but her wrists revealed a pink colour. The marks of judgment.
With annoyance, her enemy spoke, "Agent. Roy, we've agreed to release you from detention in condition that you give us the files taken, do not leave the country, speak to no one about those files, have no contact with anyone else other than those in this room until we find a suitable time to address the damages made. You are free to go, is that clear?"
"Damages? To whom? Hopefully my mental health" she glared at him as she walked towards the door.
But he blocked her route before giving her a warning, annunciating every word. "Do. You. Understand?"
She walked around him and walked out but not before having her last few words.
"I think what you meant to say is that you're sorry"
As she walked away in a hurry towards her desk, she was interrupted.
"Why didnt you tell me?" Emily said as she pulled her aside. She looked sad, almost hoping for her to say that it was'nt real.
"Tell you what? That I hoped to see her? That I need to talk to her? That even though I went through hell, I might forgive her? That I need that closure? Can you really deny me that?" Katherine said as she continued walking towards her desk as Emily followed.
She put her hand on her arm as Katherine searched througth her stuff. "No- of course not-"
She stopped searching as she turned around to face her "Then what? What is it about?" she asked with impatience. Katherine was done, she wanted to get things over with. To get the CSIS over with and never think about this ever again. Her chances of closure were gone, she would never get to see Elizabeth again, but she had done it for them, for Emily. Why coudnt she just see that and stop asking questions.
"I want to know whats going on in your mind about us,.... about her" Emily asked simply. The question was clear, did Katherine still love Elizabeth?
Katherine sighed as she returned to searching her desk, not facing Emily and hiding her true face. "Us. Has nothing to do with her" She simply said
But Emily didnt think so, actually she knew so, but for her own good, she had the tendencies to go past limits. She got carried away.
Like a mother, scolding her loving child from danger, she spoke with an angry tone. Not minding the stares of the others around, "Of course it has everything to do with her! You were together for 4 years Katherine, and she betrayed you and even after her death you still loved her! And now, you still love her, I can see it, but you're so poisoned by her, that you can't even think for yourself! "
Emily had always had a temper, and Katherine knew how to deal with it, but this time, blinded by her own jealousy and fear, she had gone to far.
And she knew it. Katherine had stopped and remained still, not facing her.
She spoke as she looked at the empty office in front of her "Of course,...how dumb of me" she said. No emotion could be felt througth her words, she disguised her pain and anger quite well.
"Katherine..." Emily said as she regretted her words, not knowing how to take them back. She was frozen as she turned around to face her.
For the first time, she saw something in her eyes, withdrawal.
Katherine had a stapler in her hands. Maybe she wanted to hit her with it, but she didnt. She took a deep breath as she looked at her, branding the image in her brain. She put her bag on her shoulder and walked away.
"Goodbye Emily"
She watched as she walked towards her colleagues, gave them a smile and a small talk. She gave Spencer a hug and kiss on the cheek as she whispered secrets in his ears, handing him her stapler.
And then, she walked away.
Shocked by what she had done, Emily sat on Katherine's chair as she put her hands to cover her face. She looked up to find the perfect view of her office, past the blinds, Katherine saw Emily perfectly every day at the office. If only she had shown how she saw her as well. Full of potential, the light of her life.
She put her forehead on the desk as she closed her eyes and hoped it was a nightmare and would soon wake up.
But this was reality.
As her team came up to her she stood up. Having nothing to say she only wished them to tell her what she had said to them before leaving, fearing the worst.
"She quit" Spencer said to her as she closed her eyes. It was her fault, everything was. But her legs couldnt move.
"Emily, you can't let her just let her walk out like that, you should go after her" Morgan said as he pointed towards the elevator.
"He's rigth Emily, we know you guys are meant to be together" Garcia said as she almost held tears.
JJ walked closer to her to tell her a piece of her mind. "Emily, what you said really hurt her, you have to go and apologize, you can't let this be your last time together. "
She was right, Emily had to chase her. But how? What should she say?.
"She gave me this" Spencer showed the stapler in his hands, as he opened it, it revealed a USB key, within, the files stolen. "I guess she gave them up, and her too, for you, Emily" he said as he walked away to go and find Agent. Veck
So she did.
"Ill be back" She said as she went to grab her bag and towards the elevator.
"Go get her!" Morgan shouted as the door closed.
Emily didnt respond, but only with a smile, of course she was going to get her. She wouldnt lose her again.
-
But she was wrong.
Katherine had left her phone on her desk at the BAU, she hadnt been to her apartment and had left her car in the parking lot.
She didnt know where she was and how far by now.
-
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! I've looked everywhere, I tried to search her phone, her calls and nothing. She leaves my line of sight on the cameras the minute she steps out of the building and If she went on a private jet, I have no idea where she went" Garcia said as she replied on the speaker
"Thanks Garcia, and I'm sorry for asking you this"
"It's okay, I hope shes okay too"
"Well, we know she can't leave the country" Morgan said
"Thats still too wide of a search" JJ proclamed
After a few hours of searching, Katherine seemed to be gone. They all wanted her back or, at least, to know where she was, and if she was safe.
Emily had left at least 14 voices messages hoping that Katherine would eventually get another phone, even a payphone would suffice for her to hear her apologies.
"Spencer,...I have to ask, what did Katherine tell you?" Emily said as she spoke on the phone while she drove around.
Spencer had been silent, Katherine was a dear friend and he didnt want to break her trust.
"She told me she'd come visit someday"
*
Katherine gave Spencer a hug and handed her the stapler, she whispered "I'll come back and visit someday I promise. These are the files I stole, please give them back for me, will you? And take care of yourself. I promise I'll do the same "
She gave him a kiss and left, without looking back.
*
" Did she say when?" JJ asked
"No, but I know she has to, she promised" he answered
"Are you sure?" Emily asked
Spencer defended Katherine "She wouldnt lie"
-
Katherine had promised to return. But when she didnt know.
Maybe when she would be ready.
"What can I get you pretty lady?" the bartender asked her.
"A wet martini, 2 olives" She said as she looked at him straigth in the eyes.
Deep down, she was just scared. Fleeing away to try and settle things in her mind.
She was a great listener and watcher, thats what maked her good at her job, well the one she used to have. She needed time away from Emily, running away from her desires beause of her trauma.
In the bar, even thougth she was attractive, people made sure to be careful. She seemed to be somewhat mysterious as she oozed out a sensation of danger, someone not to mess around.
Few would speak to her as she stayed there the after noon and until late at night, watching others talk, dance, get along, laughing as she sipped her drinks.
A man had tried to make conversation, but he wasn't interesting.
"Hey honey, anyone with you here tonigth?" the man said as he walked up to her.
Katherine watched him recklessly make a fool out of himself. She sipped her drinks as she payed him no mind.
"Hey, im trying to make conversation here sweetheart" he said, trying to get her attention.
"Oh, really?" she said with the utmost unbothered tone "Its not really working now is it?" she asked as a rethorical question.
"Jeez, why are you acting like such a bitch" he said to her as he walked away.
Not getting drunk because of the hight tolerence she had developed years before made her even more aware of herself.
She would'nt do what she had done before. No, Emily hadn't died. Emily would simply just soon forget about her and move on. Being rejected was easier since that was what she always expected. The fear of commitment and losing her was her weakness and pain.
Maybe something would happen tonight, meeting someone new, lighting a spark. Anything to forget.
In her thougths she hadnt taken attention as two other people sat next to her at the bar, both on each of her sides. One of them was a man that dared to speak to her.
"Hello there, can I buy you a drink?" he simply said as Katherine looked at him up and down. Despite his age, he was quite handsome and seemed to be naturally charming. His smile wasn't forced. His brown hair had some few specks of gray in it. It reminded her of someone.
She smirked at him "Why not, if your wife doesnt mind" she said as she took the last sip of her martini. She had seen the ring on his finger. She wasnt surprise, it wouldnt be the first time she got asked by married man.
"I dont mind at all, what do you drink?" a women on her other side said as she waved down the waiter and Katherine turned her head.
The women was beautiful, her brown hair that gently sat on her soulders suited her perfectly. She had chosen her shade well, maybe because it was the same colour as her usual tone. Katherine could tell it was dyed. The woman smiled at her with her high cheek bones and daring eyes that made direct contact with hers. Her essence was strong.
Katherine was intrigued.
"A wet martini, 2 olives" she said as she bit into her last one that had remained in her glass. She watched as the woman looked at her and at her husband and smiled. She had a suit on, quite chic and well pressed, it was fitted and gave her an even bigger presence. The woman was in charge, but both wanted this chase, together.
The woman ordered "3 wet martinis with 2 olives"
Katherine payed attention to her words, she had a clear voice, perfect punctuation of words.
"So...whats your name" The man asked her. He had went next to his wife making it more easy for her to see both of them.
"Roy, Katherine Roy" she said as she looked at both of them.
The woman seemed intrigued. "Hmm, Roy,..which translates to king in french and in Gaelic terms-"
"It means red" Katherine finished her sentence but couldnt contain her facination. "You seem to know a lot about words, are you into linguistics perhaps?" she guessed.
The women gave her a bigger smirk, she was impressed, even more attracted you could say.
"Thats rigth, I teach linguistics"
"Harvard?"
"Yes, thats right, my husband is also a teacher there" she said as she pointed at him.
Two teachers, married, talking to her, that was a first.
"Hmm" she sipped on her new drink and ate another olive. "And what are your names,....professors?" she asked plainly.
"Blake, James Blake" The man said
"Alex" the women said as she took her hand and kissed to back of it as Katherine looked at the man behind her. He was unbothered, rather he seemed quite happy she wasnt pushing them, actually, her away.
She looked at Alex who looked at her intently, like she was trying to read her but Katherine was too good, no one could read her.
"And what exactly do the Blakes want to do with me?" she asked, playing innocently. The amusement made her somewhat forget why she was here.
Alex was blunt as well, she was direct and honest, something quite attractive for Katherine. She deflected and asked another question.
"What brings you here tonight? Are you perhaps alone Katherine?" She asked as they looked around to check if anyone seemed to be her pair. She played with the rim of her glass before sipping on the alcohol and watching her.
Katherine smirked. "Lots of things in my mind, and yes im here by myself, fortunatly for you guys im guessing" she said as she sipped her drink.
Alex smirked, she was rigth about Katherine.
"Hmmm. And how are things going inside your mind? Any revelations?" she asked as she sipped her drink as well, watching her.
Katherine wasnt sure why, but Alex seemed to be a good woman, one who could understand her problems and tell the truth bluntly. "Well, Ive actually eloped from my problems you see, im not sure if i should go back and face them" she said
The couple seemed loving, not judging or curious of her personal matters, they both started thinking of a good solution.
"Well, my husband and I weren't always living together, I was at another job in Virginia and he travelled the world" Alex started as she put her hand on her husbands. They were in love. "We always had a right of veto for if one of us wanted to be together again. One day, he used that rigth and asked me to start teaching here, in Boston. I loved my job and I didnt want to leave, I was afraid of leaving it behind, everything I had accomplished."
"But now youre here, what made you change your mind?" Katherine asked.
Alex looked at her husband, who smiled at her. She looked back at Katherine and gave her a piece of advice.
"Love. The realisation that, we dont live that long and that even if it was a mistake, that the good moments together would make it worth it" She answered.
"Love, huh?" Katherine said as she looked into her glass.
"That's right, even if it's not about love, you have to take chances for what you want or what you care about. Life's too short" Alex said
She thought about it, was risking being with Emily worth it? Is she did come back, shed be furious at her for leaving and not want to talk to her. She had probably already ruined what they had.
But would going back just to try again, just one more time be worth it? To potentionaly be rejected by her? She wasnt sure if she trualy believe Emily's words but she knew that her's were genuine.
That with time, she'd try and really embrace the love she has for Emily.
For love, with Emily? She'd risk it again.
"Let me be blunt Katherine, my husband and I love each other and we've recently decided to open up our mariage. We usually have an eye for different partners but it seems you've catched both of our eye."
Alex was right, they both looked like they wanted a piece of her. And together, now that, could potentionaly become something.
"How about getting to know each other for a start? Of course you don't have to, or,... if one of us is more of interest to you...." She had a glint in her eyes "I'm sure the other one won't mind" she said.
Gently and softly, almost as if she suggested it or rather, that she'd prefer not to share, quite certain that Katherine would or was interested, but not in her husband, but into an older, wiser woman such as herself.
It suited her better it seemed.
Katherine amused herself hearing this woman speak. Though she was bold, Katherine wouldn't mind admitting that it was sexy, and quite provocative. But she was right, Alex was more eye catching than her husband.
Maybe if she had met her sooner, it could've worked, even if she was married. Who knows.
"You flatter yourself, but with reasons" she said with a smile. She took her hand and re-gave the gesture as she kissed the back of it.
"But your advice betrays you, I now realize I have to go back where I came from. Maybe if we had met sooner"
Alex seemed sadden and hurt by the news but understood. Blunt and direct, Alex knew when to quit, or when she knew that that person had someone else in mind.
Katherine got up from her seat and got her card out. She payed for all their drinks even as they offered to pay, she declined.
But Alex's nature was changed that night. She tried one more step further, something she hadn't done before. After all, Katherine was special.
Before she left, Alex put her hand on her arm, getting her attention.
"I might regret giving you advice after all, but if,..your problem doesn't work out. Come by anytime, my classes are open for auditing" she said as she handed her her hand.
Katherine liked the gesture. Charming and elegant, alert to her problems and respectful but still adequate enough to impose herself in an appropriate setting. Still wanting to show her interest.
She gave her a smile as she took her hand to share a hand shake.
"I'll keep that in mind, Professor." She teased.
She looked at her dyed hair that only her eyes could recognize and gave her a piece of advice.
"And please,...ditch the hair dye. I'm sure you'd look better with your natural peaks of silver. Might've made me fold, but alas, I'm sure others will think the same as I do" she said as she shook her hand and gave her a wink.
Alex was amused as well, Katherine was smart and fiery. She could tell she had her hair dyed and catch on the so many details. She was,.... mysteriously tempting.
"Whoever that is that you're going back too, they're lucky to have you" Alex told her. She maybe knew, that she was no competition as Katherine gave her a smile and walked away without looking back.
Her husband spoke to her as they looked at her leaving. "Shouldn't of given her advice" he said playfully. Teasing her as he put his hands on her shoulder to give her a small massage.
She smiled and turned around to give him a small tap on the arm.
She looked back but Katherine was gone. Her smile faded as she whispered to herself and took a big exhale
"She's already taken"
-
That same night, Katherine walked through the doors of her apartment. She was greeted by a loving woman who wasn't ashamed to rant about her disappearance right as she walked through her doors
"Meow~~~ Meow~~Meowwww~~"
"Yes, yes I'm sorry Elaine, mommy was arrested for stealing Government Intelligence property." Katherine said as she let go of her bag instantly to take her cat in her arms.
Almost like a baby, she held her white cat upstairs to her cat room as she placed kisses on her forehead to be forgiven.
"Meow~"
"Yeah yeah" Katherine answered as she clearly understood her cats frustration.
As she let got of her, Elaine walked away as if nothing had happened. She passed a corner of the hallway and didn't come back. Katherine watched to see if she would see her come back but as she didn't, she walked towards her room.
The door was opened, which wasn't unusual but she didn't remember leaving it this wide opened before leaving in the morning of her arrest. Had someone been here?
She slowly approached the room as she got her gun in hand. She stepped into her room as she swept the place but found nothing.
Until she found one thing someone had left behind
Wrinkles on her satin sheets.
Then she remembered, Emily had gone to her place to search for clues about Elizabeth
And I guess Emily had also left one.
A clue of her desires
"Emily....."
Katherine couldn't help but smirk.